I got this inspiration when my dad dragged me along to one of his famous Wal-Mart trips. I thought this trip wouldn't result in anything, but it did result in something, a spiffeh story idea. This story might be a one-shot, I'm not sure. At the most three chapters. I'm not in the mood to do a long commited story such as Our Hearts Cross or Eternal Souls. So bear with me x3 and Yes I have loads of time to write. ha ha ha! And my detail and grammer will proabbly suck in this seeing it's more humour then quailty detail writing! But quailrt humour! x)

Wonders Of Wal-Mart!
Chapter One: Butter Hogs

"We're out of butter, again. Kratos, how many times must I tell you not to eat all the damn butter!"

Kratos looked over at Yuan, hiding his piece of toast smothered with an abundance of butter. So bad for your heart but so damn good. Yuan eyed the item Kratos was hiding in his lap and twitched.

"You're eating all the butter on a single piece of toast!"

"Yea, it's good,"

"Well, you're coming with me to get more butter."

"Where do we go for butter? Usually it pops out of nowhere, maybe the butter gods are on vacation"

"o.O Butter Gods Kratos?" Yuan gave a shifty look at his friend. Zelos walked up behind them, covered in butter. I mean his whole face was pure yellow from the butter. It was gross.

"Zelos!"

"What?"

"You and Kratos are unbelievable!"

"What? Kratos ate all the butter again?"

"Don't blame it all on him! I know you had something to do with it also!" Yuan snapped angrily as Zelos licked the oddly immense amount of creamy liquid off his face.

"No I didn't" Zelos replied once all the butter was gone.

"Whatever, you're both coming to get more butter if you like it or not," Yuan hissed.

"Fine by me. I want to search for the new Herbal Essences hair shampoo"

"Same here bud!"

Yuan just starred as the two began to chat about butter and hair products. Why did Zelos have to come live with them? Why! Everynight he brought home another girl. Even one night he brought home a beaver! That just creped Yuan and Kratos out completely.

"Are you two done jabbering away?"

"Fine whatever"

"Yes, sorry"

"Then let's go get the damn butter, and you are paying for it," Yuan spoke addressing Kratos. Kratos gave the blank 'WHY-ME!' look but nodded stiffly.

"But where should we go?" Zelos asked.

"Let's go to the local store!"

"No kratos, they don't carry butter there."

"How would you know Yuan?"

"Because I do all the damn shopping for you two nitwits!"

"Who you calling a nitwit bluey?" Zelos snapped sizing up Yuan. Twitching his blue eyes evilly at Yuan, he grabbed a napkin and dried his face. Which was ubberly odd.

"I thought I went shopping once," Kratos spoke out from his seat at the table.

"You never went shopping!" Yuan hissed.

"Did so..."

"No kratos, if you went, this whole house would be filled with butter!"

"Why would I do something like that?"

"Well let's think about this for a moment, oh yea, because you are stupid!"

"Guys, settle down!" Zelos spoke walking in between Yuan and Kratos. Zelos eyed the two then passed them a separate list.

"Here, you buy these items and you buy these Kratos. That way you guys won't have to deal with each other at the store," Zelos spoke proudly. Yuan nodded, as if he liked the idea. Kratos could care less.

"But how are we going to get there?" Kratos yawned.

"On my magic pony!"

"You have a ... magic pony?"

"Hell yea! That's how I meet all my hunnies!"

"Couldn't you just use a Rheaird for that?"

"It would take the romance out of my arrival!"

"So arriving on the back of a magic pony is romantic? Yuan, do you think that's romantic?" Kratos asked eyeing Yuan who had tuned out the useless conversations between the red-heads.

"Huh? What are you talking about Kratos?" Hissed Yuan. He hissed a lot.

"Ugh, never mind, let's just go on our Rheairds," Kratos suggested. The two gave a nod and they went outside. Of course they had three Rheairds, but for some reason the colors matched their hair colors identically. It was creepy!

"Well, where are we going almighty Zelos. King of The Assholes?"

"That hurt, you know that?"

"I could honestly care less"

"Kratos, you need to teach Yuan some manors!"

"I've tried for four thousand years now..."

"What does THAT mean?" Yuan growled at the two who were ingading in a conversation about him. Zelos hid a grin, then lifted his Rheaird off the ground. The other two did the same.

"We are going to a store that just opened!"

"I didn't know there was a new store..."

"Because you never leave the house!" Yuan yelled at Kratos as they flew in the air. Kratos gave a depressed look of sorrow then turned to Zelos.

"What are YOU going to do while we do the shopping?"

"Meet some hunnies n.n!"

"Could have guessed."

"Ya damn gigolo!" Yuan complained from his Rheaird.

"Kratos twitched his eye un comfortably. Yuan glanced over to see what was wrong.

"What's wrong with you?"

"There's.. a cricket that won't stop chirping."

"Did you try smacking it?"

"Yep"

"Did you try chucking it off?"

"Yep, wouldn't budge."

"Did you try asking it?"

"Yuan, why would I talk to a cricket?"

"Did you kiss it!" Chimed in Zelos from his Rheaird. Exchanging glances, Yuan and Kratos shut their moves and Kratos went back to being annoyed by a black cricket.

"We're almost there!"

"Thank the goddess"

"Thank you, now I can finally leave this annoying cricket."

"But Kratos won't it--"

"What?"

"Never mind," Yuan spoke grinning. Kratos gave a speechless look but shrugged. The trio landed in a parking lot, which most people didn't find odd that they were flying through the air. Zelos jumped off his Rheaird and stood in front of the store. Yuan and Kratos were hesitant.

"It's.. Wal-mart?" Yuan asked.

"Do they sell Walls here?"

"I suppose. But how can we get the butter then?"

"Maybe they sell buttered walls..."

"Kratos, just shut up," Yuan hissed angrily at Yuan. Kratos began to twitch again. Yuan glanced over at him.

"What's wrong with you this time?"

"The cricket is stalking me..."

"Kratos, a cricket wouldn't stalk you"

"No really Yuan, it's following me."

"I think you're drunk," Yuan moaned as he followed Zelos inside. With a shifty glances, left, right, then left again, Kratos ran inside.

Author's Note:

Ha ha! Suspense! I bet you're dieing to see what will happen at Wal-Mart aren't you x3 Well, you'll have to wait and see till my next chapter. And you'll also see what is on Yuan's and Kratos' lists. And let me tell you, there is a distrubing item on Kratos'. Let's just say he asks someone where they are, and they smack Kratos upside the head in disguist. Can you guess? heh x3 Please Review, and feel free to take a guess. I'll be happy to answer your reviews in the next chapter ) But only reviews will show if there will be a next chapter! And really, I know how Kratos feels, there is a cricket outside my window that won't shut the frig up o.O