* SCENE XIII *
______________________________________
--MEANWHILE-AT THE CASTLE...
Goofy: Please!!! Boss, please! I need my job back. I still have the same acting talent and we need to keep those bad drivers off the streets by teaching the kids early.
Boss: I don't give a crusty crap! You haven't been here for a year and you want your job back now? Hell NO! Do you realize that we have lost over 3 billion dollars because of you? I could sue you, but I'm too nice for that. Now get the hell out of my sight before I change my mind.
Goofy: FINE! Goodbye! (leaves office)
Donald: So...how'd it go?
Goofy: Oh, great! I just lost my job!
Donald: Oh, sorry. That sucks. Listen you can work at the KFC down the street. They're hiring.
Goofy: KFC, Donald? KFC!!! I've been in numerous animated features, video games, theme parks, and not to mention Dance Dance Revolution Disney Mix. I am not gonna work at freaking KFC!!!!!
Donald: Sorry, just a suggestion, but without an income you're gonna loose you house, so you might as well get a job, 'cause you ain't crashin' with me!
Goofy: Just for that I hope Daisy kicks you out of the house and marries her personal trainer!
Donald: Jigga-what? She has a personal trainer?
Goofy: Duh! You know, Franz?
--They walk to Donald's house to plead for Daisy's forgiveness. As they enter the living room and turn into the hallway, sounds can be heard coming from (you guessed it) the bedroom!
Donald: OH MY GOD!!! (flings open the door) Daisy! How could you! Is that Franz?
Daisy: Franz? Hell no. Franz is Fridays. This is William. He's a champion horseback rider.
William: (in British accent) Hello, old chap.
Goofy: (under breath) Seems like that's not the only thing he's ridin'!
Donald: JESUS! DAISY! How could you?
Daisy: Shoot, I thought you ran out on me. So I started going to clubs, meeting men...so now I have a man for everyday of the week, except for Saturday. That's my yoga day.
Goofy: Gawrsh, this is awkward.
William: Did you ever notice that the word awkward is quite awkward?
Donald: Shut up ya, Douche!
William: Well, I never!
Donald: I can't take this anymore; I'm leaving! (grabs his suitcase w/ is magically packed and leaves) "Hey, it's Disney."
--They continue down the street.
Goofy: So, where are we going now?
Donald: To KFC! I'M GETTING' ME A JOB!
Goofy: What the fyuck?! NO! Don't give up.
Donald: Nether of us have a job or a place to live.
Goofy: Well, we haven't checked my house yet.
Donald: We have bad luck dumbass! You have no house. We might as well double homicide and get all this over with.
Goofy: NO!!!
Donald: Fine. Suicide's fine with me. It's not like I was goin' to heaven anyway. Not after that whole incident in Peru. No amount of soup can clean that feeling off your naughty parts.
Goofy: Jesus! That was way more information than I needed to know!
Donald: (pulls out mage wand) I've made my decision. I am going...to kill myself.
Goofy: What the f***!?!?! Donald, NO! Don't do it!
Donald: Hmmm...let's see. Which spell should I cast?
Goofy: How's about you just beat yourself over the head with that thing until you pass out. Then I'll take you to a mental institution and you can live there for free.
Donald: How about NO, Goofy. I'm doing this. Let's see. I need a tub.
Goofy: A tub? A tub of what?
Donald: Like a bathtub. You haven't been kicked out of your house yet, right? Let's use that one.
Goofy: What do you mean "let's"? Are you gay too? Hell NO!
Donald: No, no, no. I'm going to use it to die.
Goofy: NO!
Donald: Listen. You get everything in my will. (pulls a scroll from his suitcase)
Goofy: Huh? When did you write that?
Donald: Don't worry. It's Disney. Don't ask questions. Anyway. Let's go to your house. I'll kill myself. Look I even have my suicide note. (pulls out another scroll)
Goofy: But when did you...
Donald: Again...it's Disney magic. Don't ask. Let's go.
Goofy: Hold on now. What about your funeral?
Donald: Oh, here, read this. (pulls out yet another scroll)
Goofy: Yeah, I know. Disney. Okay. (reads) "My Funeral"-nice title.
Donald: Thank you.
Goofy: "I want you to invite everyone I care about and hate. I want a huge casket with chains and graffiti all over it. Here's the cool part. My body won't be in the casket. It will be secured in a hatch in the ceiling above the casket. Then once everyone is there, I want someone to lock the doors. Techno music will flare out and laser lights will flash out all over the room. And pyro-technics! Then my body will be lowered from the ceiling hanging from strings wearing flashy clothes." What the hell are you on, Donald?
Donald: Jigga-what? What kind of question is that? These are my wishes, Goofy. And if you don't want to...
Goofy: You aren't even dead yet!
Donald: Well I'm gonna be!
______________________________________
--MEANWHILE-AT THE CASTLE...
Goofy: Please!!! Boss, please! I need my job back. I still have the same acting talent and we need to keep those bad drivers off the streets by teaching the kids early.
Boss: I don't give a crusty crap! You haven't been here for a year and you want your job back now? Hell NO! Do you realize that we have lost over 3 billion dollars because of you? I could sue you, but I'm too nice for that. Now get the hell out of my sight before I change my mind.
Goofy: FINE! Goodbye! (leaves office)
Donald: So...how'd it go?
Goofy: Oh, great! I just lost my job!
Donald: Oh, sorry. That sucks. Listen you can work at the KFC down the street. They're hiring.
Goofy: KFC, Donald? KFC!!! I've been in numerous animated features, video games, theme parks, and not to mention Dance Dance Revolution Disney Mix. I am not gonna work at freaking KFC!!!!!
Donald: Sorry, just a suggestion, but without an income you're gonna loose you house, so you might as well get a job, 'cause you ain't crashin' with me!
Goofy: Just for that I hope Daisy kicks you out of the house and marries her personal trainer!
Donald: Jigga-what? She has a personal trainer?
Goofy: Duh! You know, Franz?
--They walk to Donald's house to plead for Daisy's forgiveness. As they enter the living room and turn into the hallway, sounds can be heard coming from (you guessed it) the bedroom!
Donald: OH MY GOD!!! (flings open the door) Daisy! How could you! Is that Franz?
Daisy: Franz? Hell no. Franz is Fridays. This is William. He's a champion horseback rider.
William: (in British accent) Hello, old chap.
Goofy: (under breath) Seems like that's not the only thing he's ridin'!
Donald: JESUS! DAISY! How could you?
Daisy: Shoot, I thought you ran out on me. So I started going to clubs, meeting men...so now I have a man for everyday of the week, except for Saturday. That's my yoga day.
Goofy: Gawrsh, this is awkward.
William: Did you ever notice that the word awkward is quite awkward?
Donald: Shut up ya, Douche!
William: Well, I never!
Donald: I can't take this anymore; I'm leaving! (grabs his suitcase w/ is magically packed and leaves) "Hey, it's Disney."
--They continue down the street.
Goofy: So, where are we going now?
Donald: To KFC! I'M GETTING' ME A JOB!
Goofy: What the fyuck?! NO! Don't give up.
Donald: Nether of us have a job or a place to live.
Goofy: Well, we haven't checked my house yet.
Donald: We have bad luck dumbass! You have no house. We might as well double homicide and get all this over with.
Goofy: NO!!!
Donald: Fine. Suicide's fine with me. It's not like I was goin' to heaven anyway. Not after that whole incident in Peru. No amount of soup can clean that feeling off your naughty parts.
Goofy: Jesus! That was way more information than I needed to know!
Donald: (pulls out mage wand) I've made my decision. I am going...to kill myself.
Goofy: What the f***!?!?! Donald, NO! Don't do it!
Donald: Hmmm...let's see. Which spell should I cast?
Goofy: How's about you just beat yourself over the head with that thing until you pass out. Then I'll take you to a mental institution and you can live there for free.
Donald: How about NO, Goofy. I'm doing this. Let's see. I need a tub.
Goofy: A tub? A tub of what?
Donald: Like a bathtub. You haven't been kicked out of your house yet, right? Let's use that one.
Goofy: What do you mean "let's"? Are you gay too? Hell NO!
Donald: No, no, no. I'm going to use it to die.
Goofy: NO!
Donald: Listen. You get everything in my will. (pulls a scroll from his suitcase)
Goofy: Huh? When did you write that?
Donald: Don't worry. It's Disney. Don't ask questions. Anyway. Let's go to your house. I'll kill myself. Look I even have my suicide note. (pulls out another scroll)
Goofy: But when did you...
Donald: Again...it's Disney magic. Don't ask. Let's go.
Goofy: Hold on now. What about your funeral?
Donald: Oh, here, read this. (pulls out yet another scroll)
Goofy: Yeah, I know. Disney. Okay. (reads) "My Funeral"-nice title.
Donald: Thank you.
Goofy: "I want you to invite everyone I care about and hate. I want a huge casket with chains and graffiti all over it. Here's the cool part. My body won't be in the casket. It will be secured in a hatch in the ceiling above the casket. Then once everyone is there, I want someone to lock the doors. Techno music will flare out and laser lights will flash out all over the room. And pyro-technics! Then my body will be lowered from the ceiling hanging from strings wearing flashy clothes." What the hell are you on, Donald?
Donald: Jigga-what? What kind of question is that? These are my wishes, Goofy. And if you don't want to...
Goofy: You aren't even dead yet!
Donald: Well I'm gonna be!