* SCENE XIV *
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MEANWHILE AT THE MURDERERS' HIDEOUT (BAR 'N' GRILL)...
--Kairi sits at the barside of the bar and grill. Two men are sitting to either side of her. They all have a plate of barbeque baby back ribs and a bottle of Sprite Remix.
Kairi: (takes a sip of her Sprite Remix ) Wow! This stuff is f***in' awesome.
James the Murderer: Yeah, I know! How do you think they make NEW TROPICAL SPRITE REMIX so tropical?
Dave the Rapist: I don't know! Sprite Remix is just so...so...
Kairi: Awesome?
Dave: Yeah!
All: It's sooo awesome!
Knuckles the Echidna: (from a table aside from them) What's so goddamned awesome?
All: (turn around on their barstools holding out their Sprite Remix's with labels outward) Sprite Remix is what's awesome.
Billy The Child Molester: (walks in) Hey guys! You got anymore Sprite Remix?
Dave: Of course Billy! (tosses a Remix to Billy [all in slow-mo])
Billy: Thanks! (in slow-mo, he twists off the cap and takes a drink) Ahhh...refreshing!
Kairi: It's the drink that never stops satisfying your thirst, every time you drink it.
Knuckles: What's so great about new Tropical Sprite Remix?
Kairi: You mean what's not great about it!? NOTHING! It's true perfection!
Knuckles: Well, what's it taste like?
Billy: (taking another drink) Well, first you taste just regular old Sprite.
Knuckles: Ewww.
Kairi: Yeah, I know.
Billy: Then, all of a sudden, a rush of flavor explodes in your mouth. It's almost...almost...
Kairi: Orgasmic!
Billy: Like touching a little boy.
Dave: Or like raping an innocent girl.
James: Or like killing random Disney characters.
Knuckles: Wow! Can I try?
Kairi: What a sec! What did you say?
Knuckles: Me?
Kairi: No, you! (points at James)
James: Me?
Kairi: Yes you! Who the f*** do you think you are?!
James: Huh?
Kairi: You f***in' bastard! You framed me! You framed me for, almost, all of your murders!
James: Huh? No I didn't. I sent no blame to anyone. Well...
Kairi: Well, what?!
James: When I murder random Disney characters, I like to wear a short red wig and a pink skirt.
Kairi: With a white T-Shirt?
James: As a matter of fact, yes.
Kairi: Well, that settles that. I guess Mufasa had it all wrong.
Knuckles: Can I have my Sprite Remix now?
Kairi: Oh, sorry. Of course you can. (hands a Remix to Knuckles)
Knuckles: (takes a drink) Whoa! It's like an orgasm in a bottle...
Dave: And now in a can! (holds out a can of Sprite Remix)
Knuckles: Wow! It's...it's...
Kairi: Awesome?!
All: Awesome!
___________________________
MEANWHILE AT THE MURDERERS' HIDEOUT (BAR 'N' GRILL)...
--Kairi sits at the barside of the bar and grill. Two men are sitting to either side of her. They all have a plate of barbeque baby back ribs and a bottle of Sprite Remix.
Kairi: (takes a sip of her Sprite Remix ) Wow! This stuff is f***in' awesome.
James the Murderer: Yeah, I know! How do you think they make NEW TROPICAL SPRITE REMIX so tropical?
Dave the Rapist: I don't know! Sprite Remix is just so...so...
Kairi: Awesome?
Dave: Yeah!
All: It's sooo awesome!
Knuckles the Echidna: (from a table aside from them) What's so goddamned awesome?
All: (turn around on their barstools holding out their Sprite Remix's with labels outward) Sprite Remix is what's awesome.
Billy The Child Molester: (walks in) Hey guys! You got anymore Sprite Remix?
Dave: Of course Billy! (tosses a Remix to Billy [all in slow-mo])
Billy: Thanks! (in slow-mo, he twists off the cap and takes a drink) Ahhh...refreshing!
Kairi: It's the drink that never stops satisfying your thirst, every time you drink it.
Knuckles: What's so great about new Tropical Sprite Remix?
Kairi: You mean what's not great about it!? NOTHING! It's true perfection!
Knuckles: Well, what's it taste like?
Billy: (taking another drink) Well, first you taste just regular old Sprite.
Knuckles: Ewww.
Kairi: Yeah, I know.
Billy: Then, all of a sudden, a rush of flavor explodes in your mouth. It's almost...almost...
Kairi: Orgasmic!
Billy: Like touching a little boy.
Dave: Or like raping an innocent girl.
James: Or like killing random Disney characters.
Knuckles: Wow! Can I try?
Kairi: What a sec! What did you say?
Knuckles: Me?
Kairi: No, you! (points at James)
James: Me?
Kairi: Yes you! Who the f*** do you think you are?!
James: Huh?
Kairi: You f***in' bastard! You framed me! You framed me for, almost, all of your murders!
James: Huh? No I didn't. I sent no blame to anyone. Well...
Kairi: Well, what?!
James: When I murder random Disney characters, I like to wear a short red wig and a pink skirt.
Kairi: With a white T-Shirt?
James: As a matter of fact, yes.
Kairi: Well, that settles that. I guess Mufasa had it all wrong.
Knuckles: Can I have my Sprite Remix now?
Kairi: Oh, sorry. Of course you can. (hands a Remix to Knuckles)
Knuckles: (takes a drink) Whoa! It's like an orgasm in a bottle...
Dave: And now in a can! (holds out a can of Sprite Remix)
Knuckles: Wow! It's...it's...
Kairi: Awesome?!
All: Awesome!