Chapter Two: Kiss My Brain (or Too Thin)
Shit that I get tired of repeating fast: Chapter One.
Disclamer: You want to know who this belongs to? NOT ME, NOT ME, I DON'T OWN GUNDAM WING! (jumping around like an idiot)
I had a sinking feeling I knew who it would be...
Relena.
It was. She and Heero, followed by Noin and Milliardo. Gag me with a spoon dipped in ancient greece (not to be confused with the place or resturant chain) and G snot. Yuck! I can't believe I just thought that. Relena was making googly eyes at Heero, and he seemed oblivious as usual. Noin and Milliardo looked genuinly releaved that they were here. Outside, the press was snapping shots of Relena Dorlian, former Queen of the World, to post in tomorrow's publication. I could just see the headlines; Relena Dorlian and her boy toy visit Quatre Winner for a little threesome. I roll my mental eyes. These days, the tabloids were a more reliable sorce of information. Hey, I've SEEN those aligators in the sewers, when I was working! She came in, along with her familiar enterage, holding the girls still with a grip on their upper arms and making little kissy noises in each others ears. Really, I don't see why girls do that. Really. If they are going to hug, why not hug, instead of this 'I-don't-want-you-running-away-before-I make-that-really-annoying-smacking-noise-in-your-ear' crap. And what's up with the kissy noise? Are they trying to kiss eachothers brains or something? She's wearing that horrible St. Gabriell's School uniform pink. Like PeptoBismal got into a fight with feverish bubble gum over the dress. I used to think pink was an OK color, now I can't stand the stuff. I think it was the pink limo that did it for me. I can't figure out if Relena acually LIKES the color, or is just trying to make a statment. Hey! Did you know that pink was used in the AD 20th century to symbolize gay people? Maybe THAT'S what she's trying to tell us.
Oops! It's my turn to be greeted. I stick my hand out to shake, concentrating my line of vision on my hand. If Relena of the pink wants to kiss my brain, I'd rather not know it's coming. A hand engulfs my own. A very strong, callous hand that I know well.
"HE-CHAN!" Oops. Nother mistake. Heh. I didn't mean to act so supprised.
"Who did you think it was, baka?" Heero asked, giving me a look that seemed out of place on her face. He was SMILING! Whao.
"I thought Relena would greet me first. Give me a heartattack, why don'tcha?" I said. Must... not... hug... Heero. God, but he's lookin' good. The year has been good to him. He pats me on the shoulder, before turning to greet Quatre. As I'm watching the former 01, Relena grabs my shoulders and makes that annoying kissy sound in my ear. Before she can do the other one, I feel strong arms ripping us apart. Heero. I guess he didn't like me being so close to his girlfriend. Upon realizing what he did, Heero looked shocked. That's two emotions in one day. I can't believe it...
"Um...Hey, Rel?" I say, as she lightly smacks Heero's arms as if scolding him. I raise my eyebrow at him, and he shakes his head. He doesn't think that is a very effective method either.
"Oh, Duo. I'm SOOO sorry for Heero's behavior. He's such a jealous little boy." I'm not sure if I'D call a seventeen-year-old assassin a boy to is face (if I weren't one), but that is Relena's way. She giggled as if she knew something that I didn't. The location of WHERE to buy a pink limo, perhaps? Maybe I should stop trying to make sense out of Relena.
Noin offered to shake my hand over the wierd kissy thing. Thank god. Milliardo offered me a small bag and a smile. Wow. That was nice of him. We've been rivals since the war, so is he trying to patch things up now? I offer him a big smile of my own.
"Gee, thanks, Milliardo!" I said quickly. Boy, I've never gotten a random gift before. Am I expected to open it here, or wait for something?
"Go ahead. Open it." He urged. With cautious hands, I reach into the bag and shift around the tisue paper and pull out a small stuffed animal. I thought only Heero knew that I liked fluffy things to sleep with. Then again, that was a rather embarassing thing to have happen to me. Any way, the stuffed animal was small enough that I couldputhim in my pocket and take him anywhere with me.But the size isn't the best part. He had given me a fluffy version of my all time favorite animal. It's small, green bead eyes lookedup at me out of it's black fur. For a minute,I couldn't believe what I wasseeing. A travel sizedpanther for me to play with!Unwittingly, I jump on Milliardo with an estatic look on my face.
"THANK-YOU-THANK-YOU-THANK-YOU-THANK-YOU!" I said to the suprised man. "It's BEAUTIFUL! Thank you SOOOOO much, Milliardo!" He let off a low chuckle and wrapped his arms around me. I looked up to see him smirking at me. Suddenly, I wasn't sure that I wanted Milliardo hugging me. I can feel myself turning red, fast, and Milliardo released his death grip on me, but didn't let go.
"Please, call me Zechs. Milliardo is such a formal name." He said, as his hands trailed over my back while he took his sweet time releasing me. Now I'm positive. I don't think it's a good idea to let Mill...er, Zechs...touch me. Heero had his normal'I'm-gonna-kill-something' look plastered over his face, while Quatre looked shocked, Trowa was impasive, and the girls were in various stages of melting.
"Urm...What's going on?" Asked Hilde, and before I could respond, Relena attacked the question.
"Oh! It's the CUTEST thing! Milliardo just gave Duo a stuffed panther. Duo OBVIOUSLY likes it." She said. There was something in the way she said the last sentance that put me on edge. Something just wasn't right. Now that thing about Relena knowing something I don't is coming back to bite me in the nuts, as usual. Yeah, yeah, I know. When you assume, you make an ass of you and me...
"I was WONDERING when he was going to make a move! Jesus, he's slow." OK, if it wasn't official before, it is now. I am confused. Girls are wierd.
I chance a look at Heero to see if he understood any of this. The look on his face is quite funny, really. It looks like someone force fed him a used jockstrap and his spandex had been pulled up his ass in a wedgie so big that he could TASTE it. While it would be REALLY painful to go through that, it looks SO funny on someone else. Yeah, I'm a bit of a sadist. Then it occures to me. Why the HELL am I the center of attention! Wufei walks in and Mil...Zechs wraps his arm around my shoulders. I have to bite back a whimper as he brushes against several infected cuts on my shoulder. Wufei gives us a wierd look then shakes his head.
He greets us all, spluttering as the girls attacked him but going all the more loud when it was Sally. Me thinketh the boy hath a crush. Now if only I could figure out M...Zechs. See? I'm getting better. He starts crushing me to his chest, and I can't help but whimper as our torso's crush my stab wound.
"Mill...er, Zechs? You're squashing my lungs..." I said to him, and he released me a little. I spoke too soon, seems I'll have a bit more trouble getting used to his name...
"I'm so sorry, Duo! I never meant to..." He started, then Heero walked over and placed a hand on his arm while giving Millia...er Zechs his patented glare-o-death. Wow. Is it just me, or has Heero's glare gotten stronger? I guess the world may never know. Milliard...Zechs is giving a glare that is about as harsh as the one he is receiving. Everyone, duck and cover. It's World War Four! Looks like no one else is gonna stop them, so it might as well be me. Quickly, before those two can start in with the punches, I step between them.
"Please. Stop. The war is over. There's no need to be hostile." I said, earning me a wierd look from everyone, then Trowa burst out laughing. Shaking my head I turn to Quatre. "Hey, Q-tip? How's about you show us where our rooms are?" I ask, nicely. Geeze. Why is everything I do today such an oddity?
Quatre was leading us through the rooms, pointing out everyone's rooms as we passed each one. On one side of the hall was Noin, Hilde, Relena, Une, Cathrine, and a couple of Quatre's sisters. On the other was Milliardo...Zechs, me, Heero, Wufei, Trowa, Abdul, and a few other Maguanac. I wonder if I'll be expected to keep Zechs and Heero from tearing each other apart. Quatre's apartments are at the other end of the house. Probably so he won't be tempted to jump Trowa in the middle of the night. Those two are such a cute pair, and you can tell how much they care for each other. It's just so funny to watch them interact, they have no idea that the other likeshim in that special way. We already went over this. I have a sadistic side. Not everyone has their own bath, however. I'm sharing with Heero, much to M...Zechs' annoyance. I don't get it, but OK. Maybe he thinks Heero will strangle me in my sleep, but whatever. He has his own bathroom, as does Wufei and Trowa. The Maguanac have to share. The girls side of the hall is, I think, set up the same, but I don't know and I'm not about to find out. Everyone is in their rooms, so I figure now is the perfect time to ask Relena something. I walk acrossed the hall to Relena's room and knock on the door.
"Hello? Oh, Duo, it's you!" She said upon opening the door.
"Um, I was wondering if I could talk with you alone?" I say, not really sure how she's gonna react.
"Certainly, Duo. Come on in." She welcomed me in. I could see that the bathroom did indeed conect with Hilde's room. "Well, what is it Duo? It must be important." She said nicely. I don't really think she's capable of any other tone. She's always so nice, it's scary.
"It's about Hilde. You know I've been living with her." I started. Her face fell. I don't remember telling her about Hilde's accedent, so maybe she's confused about my motives. "Not like that! Hilde had an...accident a little while ago. An accident that left her blind." Relena's face turned from sad to sympathetic. "I was wondering if you would help her out. She's probably memorizing where everything is right now, but she'll need help getting dressed every morning. I know she hates it, but it's also safer for her if there is someone to watch her when she takes a bath. It's down right deadly for her not to. If you don't want to, I understand. I just thought that Hilde might be more comfortable if it was a girl helping her out, rather than a boy." I finish my monolouge and wait for Relena to process this information.
"Of course, Duo! I'd love to help you out, Duo!" She said, before ushering me out into the hall. Something is up. Relena used my name WAY too many times for something not to be. Shrugging it off, I thanked her for being so nice to Hil, and walk acrossed the hall to my room. I need a nap, and some of those super strength sleeping pills. At this point, I don't care if I have nightmares, I just want a nap.
When I got to my room, Heero was sitting on the bed. Boy, was that a shock! I had started to take off my shirt, and ZAAA! There he was!
"Shit, Hee-man! You scared the crap outta me!" I exclamed, upon realizing that blurry shape on the bed was indeed Heero. He had another wierd look on his face, this time like someone had given him a puppy then shot him in the foot.
"Urrr, Hee-chan? Did you want something?" He was starting to creep me out. Heero Yuy never looked at anyone with out good reason.
"Hn," He blinked. "I just want to see for myself." He stated simply. Now, I must confess that I had no idea what the hell he meant. At least, not until he attacked me.
He pounced on me, tearing at my shirt. I think it was shock that held me in place, as Heero lifted the hem of my shirt. And, as Heero proceded to undress me, the door opened and Zechs waltzed in. He took in the entire scene, and Heero didn't even bother to stop his attack. At this point, there was so much confusion, I don't remember much. What I think happened was, Zechs called Heero a bastard and yanked Heero off of me. Heero in turn, yanked my shirt off me. I scampered off to the bathroom and crawled into the cabinet under the sink and pointed my ass at the opening. I hope no one got a good look at my shoulders or arms...
The fist fight in my room had attracted a lot of attention from the others on the hall, if anything could be disconcerted from the noise. After a while, the noise dispersed, and some shuffling could be heard. Some one was walking through my room, looking for something, probably me. The shuffeling entered the bathroom and a voice called out for me.
"Duo? Are you in here?" It was Zechs!
"Yeah?" I said timidly.
"Come on out, beautiful." He said. Is he on crack! Mask boy is friggin' NUTS!
"Shirt." I tell him, and realize that he probably didn't understand what I meant. "I mean, can you get me a shirt outta my bag and bring it here?" I clarify.
"Certainly." He said softly, as if he were afraid of spooking me. After a few minutes he spoke up. "That bastard didn't hurt you, did he?" I can't be sure, but I think he sounded worried.
"No, he just freaked me out. Really, I had no idea that anyone thought of me like that." I told him, reverting to babbling to get his attention off finding me. He paused, and silence reigned ofer the bathroom. Just as I was about to start rambling again, Zechs brushed his hand over my ass. I suprised squeek shot out of me and I scurried away from his touch. God, I was feeling paranoid today.
"I'm so sorry, Duo!" He said, dropping the shirt on my feet in his haste to remove himself from my privet hide-y hole.
"Please, just go." I begged of him. Hopefully he'd leave if I pulled the poor pitiful me act. "I'll see you at dinner?" I added, so he wouldn't think I was mad at him. He left with a sigh, and I was grateful. I stepped into the shower and drew the fuzzy glass door thing closed behind me. I slipped on my shirt and snuck back into my room. Down in the bottom of my bag is my most prized posession. You, you guessed it. My knife.
I slide the shiny object up into my sleeve, with the base resting in my palm, and tip toe back to the shower. I can't believe I'm gonna do this again, so soon after the last time, but if I am at least I should do it where I won't make too much of a mess. I've been a bad boy, nearly letting Heero and Milliardo know about my little habit.
Where to cut today, folks? Out of randomnosity, I think my legs are a good place. After all, too much chest scaring and someone might notice. So...Drop the pants, and hang them neatly over the top of the shower. Don't want them getting bloody, now do we? As an afterthought, I take off my shirt and put it with my pants. Don't want to ruin it any more than the pants.
My arms are aching for a stab. I guess once you taste the blade that far in your skin, it doesn't matter how bad it hurts, you just want it again and again and again and again until it doesn't hurt anymore. Until nothing hurts anymore.
I hold the blade akwardly, with the tip pointing to my elbow, and the sides aimed for my thigh and the soft area of forearm that I've always wanted to mark. Still can't, so there's no point in wishing for it.
The unmarked flesh enrages me. I'm not sure why, it just does. I want to mark my entire body until there is nothing left. Until it is all marked, and then I want to mark it again. I bring my fist down in a strange attempt at a stab combined with a slice. My grip on the thing waviers at the last second, and the knife embeds itself in my thigh and slices up my forearm. Either it hit the vein, or damned close to it. Crap. Crap, crap, crappity crap with a slice of crap and a side of crap to go! I have to get to my room. I have to get to my bag. The gauze in the front pocket.
I slip at the last second, falling hard on the floor. I think my knife is in the bathroom. Oh, look at the pretty digital numbers. 11:00. Hehe. That's funny. The eleventh hour. HEY! I know my time of death...Blood loss does funny things to a man...Wheeeeee, I'm dying...