...I wrote a lot more than was necessary since Tuesday, didn't I?

Chapter Three

I slept straight through lunch (not counting my slight disturbance) and awoke to find the tower eerily silent. I got out of bed, my chest aching dully, and I trekked, yawning, down the hall, glancing around for signs of life. "Robin…" I called softly, wondering if it was really late and everyone was in bed already. "Rae…Cy? Star?" I stepped into the living room and found darkness, emptiness. I blinked. "…Where is everybody…?" Something didn't feel right. I turned around and headed back into the hallway, walking quickly, this time, opening the doors to everyone's bedroom and feeling more and more ill when I found that no one was home.

They're not here.

They left without me.

But where did they go?

I ran back into the living room, panicking, now; scared, unsure. What if Slade had broken in and taken them all hostage? I calmed myself down by thinking, no…if he had come in…he would have trashed the place. I looked around, trying to relax, looking for any signs that might tell me where they'd gone. I spied an out-of-place piece of paper on the coffee table, and I picked it up, squinting to read Raven's loopy handwriting in the dim light.

7:23 PM

Beast Boy,

We had an urgent call and had to leave immediately. Robin tried to wake you but you know how you are when you're not feeling well; sleeping like a log. If you get this message before we get back, come to the bank on the corner of sixth and seventh streets. There was a break-in and we need to go deactivate a bomb. We're going to need your nose to track down the culprit.

—Raven

I nodded to myself, setting the note back down on the table before glancing at the clock. It was eight o'clock. I grimaced but decided to go anyway, morphing into a bird and flitting to and up the stairs that led to the roof, morphing back only momentarily to let myself out and to close the door behind me. I flew off of the tower, beating my wings furiously as I soared over the water and then dove into the city. I scanned the busy city streets below me, searching for the intersection of sixth and seventh streets, or any signs otherwise of my friends. I found them quickly and perched on Cyborg's shoulder, chirping cheerfully in his ear. He glared at me.

"Well, it's about time, man," he grumbled, batting me off. I transformed back into my impish self and gave him a puzzled look before getting to my feet.

"…What'd I miss?" I asked quietly, rubbing my head. He gave me a solemn look.

"Hey, Robin!" he called, turning away from me. "Beast Boy's here."

It was only then that I began to notice the wreckage strewn about the scene. The bank looked toasted—I guessed from Cyborg's sonic cannon and Starfire's star bolts—all the windows were blown out, and Raven was standing gloomily beside a crouching Robin, who was working frantically at a small, round, hand-held device that I assumed was the bomb. The counter wasn't ticking any longer, but I knew that he knew from experience that the countdown clock could mean nothing when it came to the bomb's activity. He was dismantling the entire thing, piece by piece, wire by wire. Starfire was sitting against a fried section of what I guessed had once been white wall, staring blankly down at her knees.

I felt suddenly that I shouldn't have come at all.

Robin ignored Cy's comment, grunting and picking at the wires, though Rae gave me a hollow look that justified my sinking feeling. I crept slowly over to Starfire, feeling hurt and guilty for a reason I didn't understand, and I sat down beside her, looking hard into her face. Something was off about her. She glanced over at me, and I saw something I had never seen before in her eyes; fear.

"…Star?" I whispered, and she grabbed my hand to comfort herself. "What happened here…?"

Her green eyes filled with tears, and it made me sick inside to see her like this. Starfire was not supposed to cry, or be hurt at all, in any way, shape, or form. She sniffled. "…Robin believes it to have been Slade…" she murmured, her words like ice needles, puncturing my spine. I shivered. "…He left his bomb here…and when we arrived, there was nothing…no one but the bomb. All of the bank workers had left…they had apparently been evacuated from the building. It…the bomb was here just to get us to come…there was a message upon it, written in handwriting that none of us recognized…"

She handed me a piece of red paper with trembling fingers, and I unfolded it, staring down at the crudely formed letters:

TITANS:

THE DEVICE YOU SEE BEFORE YOU IS, IN FACT, A BOMB. YOU HAVE FORTY-FIVE MINUTES TO EITHER DEACTIVATE IT COMPLETELY, OR BE ANNIHILATED. IF YOU SUCCEED, YOU GET A CLUE. IF YOU FAIL, YOU DIE.

TICK-TOCK, TITANS.

It was signed with a big, black "X".

She let out a wavering, chopped breath, and I held the paper up to my nose for a few seconds, getting in a few good whiffs before I turned back to her and crumpled it up in my hand. It didn't smell like any villain I had ever smelled before, which worried me. "…Robin grew angry that it was such a complex device…he is still attempting to make sure that it does not explode. From the letter…you can see…we only have five minutes left. But…after we found the bomb, and Robin set to work on it…a hooded man, shrouded in shadow, with one great, yellow eye…he attacked us, out of nowhere. I assume that he was a diversion of some kind, sent to pull Robin away from the bomb. Cyborg and Raven and myself attempted to fight him off, but he was terribly powerful…it took nearly all of our energy to do battle with him." I squeezed her hand, and she rested her head on my shoulder. I looked affectedly over to Robin, who was still working with a bitter expression on his face. I noticed a wound, leaking blood down the left side of his face, and even more, crisscrossing up his arms, where he had taken off his gloves to work with the bomb.

Who could be so powerful?

"…Robin fought when the rest of us grew too weak…" her voice was choked and stifled by tears. "He was successful, but…it was horrible…I have never seen Robin in so much pain…oh, Beast Boy! If you had only arrived here sooner…I know that your powers combined with Raven's and Cyborg's and my own…we could have fought, and we could have won! Robin would not be so distraught that someone nearly his equal in combat exists…"

I opened my mouth to speak to her, my eyes still fixated on Robin's injuries, but I felt Raven's shadow pass over me, and my eyes were drawn into hers, instead. She looked worried about something. "…Robin wants to speak with you," she drawled, taking my place beside Starfire when I finally managed to rise. Our eyes locked again, and she shook her head dismally, making my stomach turn to lead. My knees felt like water. If he felt the same way that Star did…he would surely lash out at me, now. And the look on his face…I had never seen him look so desperate; so cold. I looked to Cyborg for sympathy, but my android friend merely bowed his head, his eyes closed, and gestured toward our exalted leader. I swallowed my urge to break down and beg for forgiveness, and instead walked miserably to him.

He stood and threw the bomb to Cyborg for completion when I was beside him; a good two feet away, for safety reasons. I cowered under his penetrating glare and stared down at my feet, my shoulders hunched. He said nothing for a long time, so I decided to break the silence and attempt to apologize. "…Robin, I—"

"Where were you."

It was not a question. It was an accusation. I shuddered and wished, wished for this morning, when he had smiled at me and helped me to my feet and promised to go easy on me. I wished for two nights ago, when he had touched my hand on accident and hadn't bothered to move it, comforting me with his hair hanging in front of his eye. But wishing wouldn't make it go away. I swallowed hard and tried my best to look at him.

"…I…I'm sorry…please…don't be mad—"

"Where were you."

I bit my lips together. His voice was flooded with hate, even though he may not have admitted it to my face. He breathed hard, trying to calm himself. "…You've let us down, Beast Boy," he said quietly, his rough, scratched words crawling through my brain and into my heart like sewage. He had been screaming. In pain, I thought, feeling sick. I closed my eyes for a moment and had a vision of him obtaining those bloody injuries. "You've let the team down. But worst of all, you've let me down."

"Robin, please," I whimpered, daring to approach him and reaching out to him. I touched his bleeding arm on accident and he winced, pushing me roughly away.

"How could you be so lazy?" he demanded, looking me straight in the face. "How could you sleep through an emergency alert?" He glowered down at me, and I felt my body begin to tremble, hating that I had turned him into this disappointed, angry person. I balled my hands into fists at my sides, grabbing at my own uniform to comfort myself. I felt tiny and worthless in his eyes—even more so than usual—and it hurt like nothing I had ever felt before. My heart was burning. "I just…you're a superhero, Beast Boy! You're here to protect the innocent! And you're a part of a team! We're supposed to work together to win! Do you not care about that at all?"

"I…of course I kuh-care, Robin," I sniffled. He growled, and I felt a hot surge of anger emanating off of him and into me me. He loathed me in that moment; I felt it in his actions, in his words, in his demeanor. And I couldn't stand it. I sobbed weakly, and, without any hesitation whatsoever, he punched me hard in the jaw; a swift right hook, his knuckles colliding with my jaw with a surprising whump. Starfire gasped and I heard her begin to cry quietly, soothed moments later only by Raven's careful words. I sensed that Cyborg was no longer watching, though I felt anger coming off of him, now, as well.

"Do you think I'm STUPID? If you REALLY cared about these people; about fighting these menaces…you would DEDICATE YOURSELF TO FIGHTING FOR JUSTICE! Just like I have! Just like Raven and Starfire and Cyborg have! So don't you DARE lie to me!"

"I am d-dedicated!" I choked, rubbing my jaw hesitantly, in pain but wishing that I didn't have to be so naked about it. "That's w-why I j-joined the T-Teen Titans in the f-first place!" I felt so frustrated with him, all of a sudden. Frustrated that he would accuse me of something so terrible, when he didn't even really know me at all. He just assumed. He always assumed everything about me, like I wasn't really worth his time at all. "I'm just as d-devoted to this job as y-you!"

At that moment, he looked as if he would have rather liked to spit on me. "…Well, I have yet to see that," he said, his words filled with disappointment and dislike. I closed my eyes and chewed my tongue, struggling to keep the tears from falling. I felt him turn back around and Cyborg tossed him the bomb, which was now completely deactivated.

"We've got two minutes left before time is up," Cy growled, sounding peeved for some reason unbeknownst to me. "The bomb is totally defused, but I still didn't find any clue."

Robin sighed thickly. "All right. I'll give it a look."

Words I didn't mean to say suddenly spilled out of my mouth.

"…All y-you care about…is y-your stupid puh-p-pride…"

He whirled around, dropping the bomb, and he grabbed the front of my uniform, pulling my face up to his level and pressing our foreheads harshly together. I cried out in fear and heard myself babbling for mercy, please, have mercy, Robin, I didn't mean it. He shook me roughly and the tears spilled out of my eyes. "DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT TO ME AGAIN!" he shrieked, a sort of disoriented madness echoing in his words that I had never heard there before and that I prayed to God I would never hear there again. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? YOU COULD NOT POSSIBLY COMPREHEND ALL THAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH! ALL THAT I SAW, WHEN UNDER BATMAN'S WING! THERE ARE UNIMAGINABLE HORRORS OUT THERE; EVEN MORE DEADLY AND TERRIFYING THAN SLADE, OR THAT CREATURE THAT WE DID BATTLE WITH TODAY! AND I'VE FOUGHT THEM ALL, BY THAT GREAT MAN'S SIDE! HE ALONE EMBODIES JUSTICE! AND HE TAUGHT ME ALL THAT I KNOW ABOUT WORKING AS A TEAM AND FIGHTING TO THE VERY END! I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOU DENOUNCING HIS NAME, OR WHAT HE AND I—AND THE TITANS—STAND FOR! IF YOU CROSS THE LINE ONE MORE TIME, BEAST BOY, I SWEAR THAT I'LL—!"

"Robin, man," Cyborg murmured, and I felt water douse the flames of Hell as a mechanical hand closed over the quaking fists of our superior. "…Look at him."

I didn't see him look at me, but I can only imagine what he thought when he saw me like that. Pulling away from him, scared out of my mind, tears streaming down my cheeks, sobbed pleas of please Robin please God I'm sorry please Robin don't hurt me don't hurt me please escaping from between my lips. He shook me one final time before he dropped me, and I curled up into a fetal position on the ground, more terrified than I had ever been before in my life. I didn't doubt that he would have gone so far as to seriously injure me if Cyborg hadn't stepped in.

Robin let out a hot, acidic breath as he stared down at me, and I felt everyone's eyes on me again, watching. "…I'm looking, Cyborg," he spat; I could hear that he was shaking with rage. "…And all I see is a pathetic back-stabber."

"Robin," Cyborg growled; I heard the dull thump of him placing his thick, titanium hand on the Boy Wonder's shoulder. "You know you won't mean that later, man. Just…look what you've done to him. I mean…we all know that it takes a lot to get through to Beast Boy, but…this is too far." I couldn't stand Robin's hard eyes on me like that. I could feel them digging through my uniform, my skin; stabbing at my heart. "…He's just a kid, for God's sake. He's our little brother. The youngest of us all. And you—"

"You are being a bully, Robin," Starfire's sweet voice chastised him; I could see her boots and Raven's in a corner of my blurred vision. I felt the stiffness of his eyes lessen with her words, and I praised her for being such an angel of mercy. "You are angry, yes, and sad that you nearly lost. But the important thing is that you did not lose. You fought your hardest, with strength and courage, and there is nothing shameful about that. And even though you do feel ashamed of yourself…that is no reason to take it out on poor Beast Boy! You do not see things from his point of view. He was feeling ill, so he took a nap, and now you are berating him because he was not well? He could not have prevented his ailment! It was not his fault that we were nearly defeated! It is the rest of us who are to blame for this near-loss!"

Raven knelt down beside me and examined my bruising jaw. I forced myself to stop crying and accepted her hand when she offered it to me. She helped me to my feet and passed me to Cyborg, who—after watching Starfire lead Robin away from the rest of us, still scolding him—gently asked me to turn into something small so that I could be carried easily. I morphed into a cat and curled up in his arms, still shaking uncontrollably, even as he stroked my fur to comfort me. He turned to Raven and I pretended not to be listening to their conversation.

"…Rae…you get it, right? I mean…Beast Boy gets annoying, and he is forgetful, and sometimes he's lazy…but…he doesn't deserve to be yelled at like that. No one does."

Raven sighed. "Of course, Cyborg. But…at the same time…take into account that, when Robin was still with Batman…the two of them fought against some of the most deadly villains of all time. Two-Face. The Joker. Scarecrow. Poison Ivy. Don't you think it's possible that…maybe the reason that Robin's so proud of himself…is because he helped to bring down such treacherous people? He…he learned from the master. There's no denying that."

Cyborg scratched me behind my ears, and I heard him shake his head. "…Still. It doesn't give him the right to beat up Beast Boy over something as pointless as his sleeping in. He does that all the time, and it never bothered Robin before that…thing…showed up."

"You know as well as I do how Robin gets when he comes that close to defeat. And now he's going to be training like crazy for the next few weeks."

"And this is why I'm always telling you guys that he's nuts. But you never believe me, do you?" Cy growled. The gentle whir of his circuits working was soothing to me, and I felt my body slowly begin to calm itself. He sighed heavily. "This is why I think I should be the leader. I know how to keep my cool."

"Of course you do, Cyborg," Rae said, sounding slightly amused. "That's why you always blow a fuse when Beast Boy beats you in those stupid video games."

He chucked under his breath.

Robin and Starfire approached us again, and I saw through my slit eyes that Robin looked guilty and was blatantly ashamed of himself. Star nudged him, and he stroked me in hesitant apology, pulling his hand away quickly and brandishing the useless bomb at us. "There was no sign of any sort of clue on this thing…but I think we should take it back to the tower, just in case." He looked to Raven. "Raven, let's head back home. We're finished here."

"All right," she murmured. "…Azarath, metrion, zinthos…"

We flew home in a great bird of shadow, but I felt protected, anyway, wondering if Robin really was sorry about what he had done to me. I doubted it. He wasn't the type to forgive so easily.