Shadow's P.O.V

Maybe what we had decided on wasn't the best decision but it made me happy. Having a baby was a stupid idea for me and for Clover. Neither one of us knew anything about raising a baby. Clover wasn't happy with the idea of giving up the babies at first but she soon realized it was the better path.

I aborted the baby the week that I went home. My family questioned where I had been but I didn't tell them anymore than they needed to know. They didn't know that I had been pregnant. They didn't know. I could deal with the fact I had given up my baby by myself. The thing I couldn't deal with was that I had to give up Mort.

He had been the only man to understand me and to love me. I guess it was needed but I couldn't live without him. I knew that moving back in with him was not an option because of what Shooter did to Clover. Maybe I was being selfish in being depressed over losing Mort over Clover and Shooter.

I held it against Clover. We could have been friends if I had tried but I didn't want to try. I wanted to be mad at Clover. It gave me someone to take my anger out on. Deep inside I knew that I was angry with myself for letting Mort go. I remained dropped out of school and spent most of my time at home.

After about six months of it I decided that I had been sad long enough. There was no reason for me to be so depressed when there was a way to end it all. And I don't mean getting Shooter and Clover back together. I knew that was never going to happen. I knew the best way to get out of it was to kill myself. If I was dead there was no way I could be sad over losing Mort. Clover started crying when I told her what I planned to do. She begged me to give her a chance to tell Shooter goodbye.

I didn't know why she wanted to do that. I didn't tell want to tell Mort goodbye. I didn't want my last memory of him to be him crying and begging me not to do it. But since Clover wasn't one you could take out of doing something I let her go.

It didn't take very long for me to decide how I wanted to die. Since Clover wanted to Shooter before she died I decided I should go up to Mort's house to kill myself. The lake was the first thing I thought of. Since drowning yourself is such a hard thing I had to think on it for a while. My plan sorted itself out. I would drive my car over one of the cliffs and into the lake.

On the six month anniversary of me meeting Mort I drove up near his place. I dropped Clover about a hundred feet away from his cabin and went looking for the best spot. I found one that looked like it was made for someone to throw a car off. It was a cliff high above the water. I backed my car up so that it was a done distance away from the cliff and hit the gas.

The car sped off the edge of the cliff. I felt almost weightless as I soared over the water. It felt like the car flew forever before it started to fall towards the water. They say that your life flashes before your eyes before you die. That didn't happen to me. As my car was engulfed by the water and the water ran into my open windows all I could think about was Mort. His face was the only thing in my mind.

I closed my eyes as my head disappeared under the liquid that was quickly filling my car. Searing pain spread through out my body when the much needed air was denied. I fought against the seatbelt trying to get loose but I couldn't. The world was turning black and my body was still struggling to get free.

The last thing I remember was Clover's voice.

"Good night Shadow."