Title: "Breakdown"

Author: Hattori Hanzo

Genre: Romance/Angst

Rating: M for violence and possibly sex

Warnings: Violence, strong language

Timeline: Set between "The Zeppo" and "Bad Girls"

Disclaimer: Buffy, the Vampire Slayer and anything related to that does not belong to me (although I would like to own Spike). The song "Breakdown" belongs to Mariah Carey, Bone Thugs 'n' Harmony, and Columbia Records.

Well, I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it

And I'm going to extremes to prove I'm fine without you

But in reality I'm slowly losing my mind

Underneath the guise of smile, gradually I'm dying inside

Mariah Carey feat. Bone Thugs 'n' Harmony - "Breakdown"

Faith shut the door slowly, gripping the doorknob hard to try to stop her hand from shaking. She let go of the knob and looked down at her hands - they were shaking uncontrollably, as was the rest of her body. She took a slow, deep breath to try and calm herself, but that just took away any control she had and the tears spilled from her eyes.She leaned against the door and her small hiccups quickly turned into loud sobs. She started to slide down the door, but quickly put a strong hand against the dirty wood and pushed herself away from it. She walked towards the bed slowly, shuffling her feet, and plopped down on it, the matress and the covers muffling the sound of her pained sobs.
She breathed in and smelled that sweet scent - Buffy's scent. Immediately she jerked up, moving away from her bed. She used to like smelling Buffy on her bed... but now, it just made her angry.
She ran a hand through her brown hair and then proceeded to wipe her eyes furiously, trying to stop herself from crying.
Buffy doesn't want me? Fine. I ain't gonna cry over her, she thought, stomping off towards the bathroom.
She entered the bathroom and took a good look around her - the tiles on the walls were supposed to be white, but they looked yellow. Same with her sink. The mirror above the sink was cracked, and the bathtub was as dirty as it could get, no matter how hard Faith tried to clean it.
She wondered why she was thinking about how dirty her bathroom was, but shrugged. At least it takes my mind off Buffy...
She walked over to the mirror and looked at herself. Her eyeliner was all over her face. She looked at her hands - the backs of them were covered in eyeliner. She sighed and turned on the tap, drowning her hands in the water. She rubbed them with the bar of soap and once she was finished, cleaned her face. She turned off the tap and looked at herself again. Without all the eyeliner, she could see how red and puffy her dark eyes were. She wiped them again as another tear fell, and then walked over to the shower.
She took her shirt off and tossed it angrily out of the bathroom, then did the same to her pants. She peeled off her underwear and once she was completely naked, she got into the bathtub. With one arm, she held herself to stop herself from shaking, and with her other hand, she turned on the shower, letting the warm water rain down on her cold skin.
She sat down and hugged her knees close to her chest. The water calmed her down some, but it didn't stop the tears from falling. She leaned against the wall and sighed.

She got out of the room and closed the door behind her, not bothering to lock it. She looked down at her clothes and smiled - she was wearing her favorite pair of leather pants, her combat boots, and a black shirt which showed just as much cleavage as she liked - which meant much more than necessary.Faith looked at her watch - 2 A.M. She smiled to herself. Perfect.
She walked away from the motel, her heavy combat boots coming down hard on the ground, echoing in the silence. After about 5 minutes of walking, she was already halfway there, so she picked up her pace, speeding up to a jog. It didn't take her feet long to land on the soft, dry grass that covered the grounds of Restfield Cemetery.
The Slayer reached into her pocket and pulled out her pointed wooden stake, praying for this to be a busy night. And it seemed as though her prayers were heard - not long after beginning her hunting, she heard a low growl coming from behind her.
The brunette laughed to herself and spun around, immediately spotting the three vampires staring at her. None of them were very bulky - all were average sized. They seemed way too eager to sink their teeth into her.
Faith scoffed. Great. Newbies.
She shook her head at the vampires and their horrible sense of clothing and sprung towards them. They all dropped into fighting stances (or, they tried to - all they did was raise their fists in an utterly ridiculous way) and tried, with no success, to block Faith's blows. The first vampire she attacked tried to block a kick to the head, but all he managed to do was get his wrist snapped by the girl's foot. He screamed, but she paid no attention. Instead, she moved on to her next target.
She kicked the second vampire in the stomach, making him grunt. He tried to throw a punch but she grabbed his arm before it connected, and twisted it so far she heard several snapping sounds. She headbutted him and he stumbled away, his right arm twisted in an unnatural way.
The first and third vampire came at her at the same time. She dodged their kicks and swung her foot hard at the third vampire's knee, breaking it and knocking him down. She turned to face the first vampire and blocked a punch from him, then spun around and backhanded him across the face. She proceeded to knee him in the nuts and elbow him in the nose.
The second vampire came at her from behind, but all she did was snap her foot up and, without turning around, kicked him in the throat.

After about 10-15 minutes of relentless beating, the three monsters fell down and stayed down. Faith took a good, long look at them. All three of them were covered in blood and bruises - their limbs twisted in ways that they shouldn't be, some of their bones sticking out from their bodies, and all their eyes swollen shut. Faith chuckled and staked the three of them in sucession. Sighing happily, she put her stake away and left towards the Bronze, fighting the urge to skip all the way there.
Once she got to her destination, she noticed her happiness and relief were temporary - before she even set foot in the club, she was thinking of Buffy again. Hell, during her fight she kept thinking of Buffy - the way Buffy fought, the way they would aways keep the other safe from as many vampires and demons as possible together, even the way Buffy would've scolded her if she saw what Faith had done to the vampires.
The brunette sighed. --So what? Pretty soon I'll get over her. A few minutes in here and I'll find someone who's a better fuck than her-
She walked over to the bar, hopping up to sit on a stool. The smell of crappy food was almost unbearable, but she was hungry as hell so she really couldn't care less. She ordered some buffalo wings and patiently waited for the guy to get her her food.
She sensed someone approaching her and stiffened. She relaxed, though, when the redhead sat beside her, her bright green eyes pretty much hypnotizing Faith. She was thin, and somewhat tall - she looked around 5' 7". The Slayer failed to hold back her smile - a good fight and a good fuck, all in one night.

I know this isn't as long as the first chapter, but I hope you guys enjoyed it. This, as you may have noticed, was about Faith trying to convince herself she doesn't need Buffy, and trying to cope with her feelings the only ways she knows how to - fighting and screwing. ;)

Also, thank you all so much for your reviews. I never expected to get this many reviews! I thought I'd be lucky to get 2. :P

Billy Rose: Bitchslap Buffy? I'll think about that. :P

fabutvs26: Faith just doesn't wanna show her true feelings. She always had these walls around her and then she let Buffy in, and Buffy just screwed it all up. She's trying as hard as she can to convince herself Buffy doesn't mean much to her. Also, thanks for the kind comment. :)

Annie-C: Thanks! Yeap, I'll continue, as long as you guys keep reviewing. :P

Mar-Mar Superstar: Thanks for the comment :D

ful-of-faith: Here's the 2nd chap for ya ;D

rma2110: It's not that Buffy doesn't love Faith. It's that Buffy thinks she should be with Angel because of all the things their relationship survived. For Buffy, that means it's true love. She doesn't wanna lie to Angel so she finished things with Faith.

Slayergirlkal: That's what I was going for - making people hate Buffy :P And thanks for the comment :)

mythic-lionheart: Thanks for the compliments, and here's the 2nd chapter :P