Someone Just Like You
Chapter 6: Hide and Seek
PG-13
Written by Yuneko
Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim and I never will sadly enough.
Author's Note: I'm really sorry guys that I haven't updated in a long while. SORRY!
"What did you say?" Dib turned his face to Zim in wonderment.
"I said I do not wish to attend skool today pitiful human." Zim said a little louder, forgetting his fear of water for a moment to squabble with his beloved Dib-human.
"You can't just do that!" Dib exclaimed. Millions and even billions of possibilities laid forth for Dib to ponder of what in the world were they suppose to do in an empty house. With just him and Zim...
One rainy day spent between the two of them. How delicious and tempting this offer seemed to Dib. It was a good opportunity to hang out with his enemy, even find a weak spot or two. They would be alone, leaving an air of fair game for anything to happen.
Wait a minute Dib thought this can't be happening, this is crazy. Turning his head slighting to the side he knew the consequences of letting his worst enemy stay. He should just throw the alien out and laugh at Zim's pitiful fate of being a burning carcass in front of his doorsteps.
"I can't just let you stay here in my house by yourself. How can I trust you!" Dib shouted incredulously.
"You know stink beast you could just go nobody's making you do anything. Go do the things that regular worm babies do on such a horrible occasion." Zim twisted his gloved fingers in thought. "When Zim wants to stay, then Zim stays." He concluded nodding to himself reassuringly.
"That settles it, my life is completely screwed." Dib mumbled to himself melodramatically.
This doesn't make sense Dib thought, I have the upper hand here, I don't have to take his crap, but at the same time I don't want him to leave. Turning his attention back to Zim, he hung his head in defeat.
"Well that's what you get for messing with ZIM! You shall forever rue the day you messed with me with your pig smelling ways!" Zim leaped onto the table throwing his fists into the air, flames shooting about in a dark matter.
"I MADE WAFFLES!" Gir shouted proudly, dishing platefuls to each member of the household.
"Uhhhh..that's nice..very good evil minion!" Getting off the table back into the seat he grabbed a fork and began chewing his breakfast.
"Here you go big headed boy who torments my master by day and night." Gir ushered Dib into his seat, handing him a fork, knife, and a piggy bib.
Setting up a baby chair across the boys, Gir set the baby onto the high chair cutting the waffles into confetti for the baby to eat. "WHY WON'T IT EAT! OPEN MOUTH!" Stabbing the plastic fork between the dolls closed lips, Gir began to burst into tears. "IT DOESN'T WANT TO EAT MY COOKING?"
Zim, distracted by Gir's stupidity and waffles didn't notice the shiny red light reflecting against his green skin. A flash of light emitted from the device leaving Zim blind and seeing pretty pink spots.
SNAP
"What was that!" Gazing up from his plate of waffles, Zim found that he had been photographed by the Dib.
"Photographic evidence of an alien eating waffles!" Hugging his camera as if it were his own son he smirked at the alien. " Now with this everyone will know you're an alien and then justice will be served!"
"What will be served if you don't sit down and eat will be your head….SIT!" Gaz walked in with her Gameslave 2 also carrying a plateful of waffles Gir had made.
"Hahahahahahahahaha! Being told off by your own sister Dib. Isn't that pathetic, you call yourself protector of earth, when you listen to your sister as her very own slave. It's funny! Isn't it Gir!"
"Ehehehehehehehehe!" Squealed the small robot as he stood at the counter mixing more batter for more waffles; ignoring the baby's cries after the feeding incident.
"Laugh now Zim, but when the public gets a hold of these pictures you'll be on a dissecting table faster than a regular being served at Mc Meaties." Smirking at Zim he glanced to his sister to find the look on her face was not amused, he lowered his head back to his food awaiting Zim's reply.
"Foolish human! Do not underestimate the power of Zim! Beside your camera lens cap was on anyways…Victory for Zim!"
"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the baby hollered after detecting loud noises when it was resting so peacefully moments ago, after a few minutes of robotic screams of pain the baby began to beep. Red lights started blinking from its eyes.
While the two archenemies bickered about the same things as every other day, Gaz sat there boiling in anger. Why couldn't they just shut up and eat their food? And why wasn't anyone shutting up the damn doll! Feeling rage all the way down to the soles of her feet she did what she could do to shut the two up. She threatened them.
"If I hear one word come out of your mouth I'm going to make you wish that you never had nerves in your body with the pain I shall unleash if you speak." Turning her head to Zim with her eyes shining darkly even in daylight. " And I'll make you wish you were never in love with my brother…" Smirking in satisfaction she added "Oh yeah…turn off your toy if you don't want it broken."
Hearing the words of Dib's scary sister Zim immediately stopped his blabbering with a quote of the mighty Irken army would do to enemies that stood in their ways. Dib shoved the camera inside his trench coat and began eating, laughing nervously back at his sister.
"BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Implosion in ten seconds" A deep robotic voice emerged from the baby, its eyes glaring dangerously at the two.
"The bomb!" Zim and Dib made a dive for the baby in the high chair and missed slamming heads into each other, leaving the two knocked out for the rest of breakfast. Gaz walked on the two bodies to the source of annoyance for this morning. She turned the dial clockwise and sat back down to her meal.
"That's better…Hey robot, more waffles."
After finishing breakfast with cheery fake smiles for Gaz as she walked to school alone. Zim and Dib resumed to figuring out what were they going to do in such a horrible wet situation. The big headed boy was even gracious enough or more like stupid enough to walk his dear charming sister out the door.
Okay now was his chance to rid the human from his life forever without any witness other than his robot companion, but then the insane robot child didn't count. He could probably bribe amnesia to take over with meat or burritos…something like that. Turning his attention away from his daydream of melting Dib with the world's biggest magnifying glass, Zim adjusted his position well from under the table, grabbing his laser gun from his pak he waited for his prey to arrive.
"BYEEEEEE SEEE YOUUU AGAIN!" Gir enthusiastically waved Gaz off to skool with his amputated left arm with his right. A gift Gaz had told him for the wonderful rest she had gotten from last night. When Gaz had disappeared as a tiny dot over the horizon Gir saluted Dib and blasted his way back to the base.
Dib stood dumbfound at the doorway with his hand over his eye. How do these people not notice a flying robot wreaking havoc in their cul-de-sac? Dull throbbing pain began pulsing through his head and he was going to need some ice if he wanted the swelling go down someday. Closing the door, Dib walked back into the kitchen to find no one at the table.
Perplexed to where Zim had gone off to he began searching in the living room, bathroom, closest, yard, and even dad's laboratory. He proceeded with care holding a super soaker 1,000,000 to arm himself if the alien wanted a war.
Rolling over to the side and crawling on his belly he checked under the couch. No one. Dib back flipped onto his feet proceeding to the bathroom. He knocked on the door incase the alien was using the john. After a few minutes had past he broke through the door dramatically waving his gun at moving target.
Finding himself facing his own reflection he sighed and continued on his journey or quest, which ever made his mission sound more like a paranormal investigator. For all he knew Zim could be plotting to destroy the earth under his own roof.
After an hour of searching around the house he decided to call it quits, the alien obviously fled the situation knowing he was unmatched for the Dib's superior intellect. Disappointed he decided to go back to the kitchen to get a drink and that ice for his head.
Walking into the kitchen Dib grabbed a cup from the cabinet and poured himself a glass of poop cola. Getting a handy wrap bag he opened the freezer and stuck his hand around to get handfuls of ice. Satisfied with his makeshift ice pak he relaxed onto the chair with the icy coolness on his flaming eye. Taking long gulps of soda, he suddenly realized where the green imp had gone off to.
He must have gone back to skool! The little liar! Zim wanted Dib to stay home as he unleashed his newest plan to take over earth, starting with homeroom class. Feeling even dumber than the black eye must look on his face Dib quickly jumped out of his seat to go get his trench coat to run to skool. If he hurried fast enough he could make it in time before he was too late.
As he got up to rush to the closet a pair of slimy green arms enclosed around his waist and Dib fell face first onto the kitchen tile floor. A bright orange pistol thing pressed smartly against the side of his head. He turned over to his shoulder to see who his captor was.
A smirk gracing the young Irken's face, as he placed the gun against Dib's quivering lips.
"Miss me?"
Whatever landed on him, he fell hard. Dib's face met cold stone and his swollen eye began to twitch from the pressure. He felt something cold against his cheek, whatever the thing was it began to get hot; soon it felt like a boiling pot pressed against his face.
He turned around to see who had gotten him, feeling stupid being stuck against an arm burglar at this time of day. He opened his mouth to yell something, but the hot metal moved from his cheek to his lips, threatening to blow if he made any noise.
"Zim!" Dib frantically glanced between Zim's harden face and the laser gun pointed at his lips. He wouldn't…would he? Dib's mind began to wander to the many memories of Zim, but never had he been directly assaulted by something that could actually kill him. The alien had finally got him, maybe that was his plan all along.
To mask his real intentions masked my friendly, but disastrous banter of hypnotic pimples and gigantic hamsters. But to think it would come to this, even Dib had to admit to himself he would have never seen it coming.
Even though Zim had threatened to enslave the world his methods were quite strange and ineffective. He could almost say that they were harmless almost…almost Dib had only moments to think over the highlights of his life before his brains would be splattered over the tile floor.
Would anyone ever remember the brave and daring Dib, the protector of earth and all he did for his people? A better question he ask himself would they even care. His hateful sister and inattentive dad probably wouldn't have notice if he didn't present himself as "insane" as possible. The only one that had recognized him as a person, his existence even, was about to blow his head apart.
His lip began bleeding from biting it too hard while thinking, Dib closed his eyes and waited for the end. I guess…even then I had meant nothing to Zim, but a bump in his road to conquest. You win...Zim Closing his eyes tighter to keep him stealing one last look at Zim; he prayed he wouldn't feel it.
Dib waited….and he waited some more, but nothing happened. Was Zim taking his sweet time embellishing at this moment? Why wasn't the obnoxious idiot boasting how Dib had easy fell into his ingenious trap? He felt water drops down his face, was the roof leaking from the rain. Tiny drops slid down Dibs face meeting his bloodied lip, instead of tasting only iron he tasted salt too.
Was he crying? He felt no water come down from his eyes, he moved his hands to face to make sure he wasn't. Finding no evidence by rubbing his eyes and the loss of heat and pressure near his temple from the gun, Dib turned his head sideways hearing faint pitter patter of feet moving away from him.
He opened his eyes to find Zim curled up in a ball in a corner. Dib gingerly got up, brushed himself off and began walking towards the small figure, rocking nervously with the gun still grasp in his right hand.