Disclaimer: The world is flat you're being deceived.
Chapter 3: Everything old is new again.
Time passes as it is apt to do. Ranma and his father still went to Jusenko, they still ate the prize. Ranma was still dumped on Akane. The only noticeable difference is that another of Genma's extra fiancée's took Ukyo's place as his friend/fiancée. Her name was Sakura Kurinai and she set up a little tea shop. Martial arts tea ceremony. Other than that little blurb, time was more or less the same.
For Luna it was pretty much the same. She rallied the scouts to defeat Beryl, the doom tree and Death Phantom. Nothing much changed, other than whenever Artemis would mouth off he would get trashed, or when Usagi overslept Luna would drag her charge out of bed and downstairs. The first time Mrs. Tsukino saw the eight kilo Luna dragging her 45 kilo daughter she almost had a heart attack. Since then she praised Luna and kept her well fed because the trip down the stairs usually woke her daughter up so she could get to school on time. Unknown to the rest of the scouts or even Artemis himself Luna kept up her practice so that she wouldn't lose her edge. Living next to the Yamada's and their pitbull and german sheppard was a blessing in disguise for her as both of them made great training partners.
It happened on a fine spring day about two days after Ranma got back from his fight with Herb. Akane had been so happy that her favorite punching bag / stress relief had come back, she decided to cook him a feast. Said feast tried to take over the neighborhood. It was stopped by all of the martial artists in the area banding together to destroy the threat. When he'd commented about it she'd malleted him again. He'd have to remember to cancel her subscription to mallet monthly.
So here he was flying through the air yet again. Looking down he noted passing over the boundary between Juuban and Nerima. Akane must have been pissed if she was able to get this much distance. Quickly calculating his trajectory he noted that he was going to land in a small pond in the middle of a park.
At least it wasn't concrete.
As he was dragging his now her waterlogged self out of the pond he noted a couple of perverts staring at his chest. He flared his aura to provide sufficient discouragement to said perverts and to dry his clothes. Someday he'd have to figure out how to use his ki to heat the water in his clothes and use it to change back with. But until that day he'd have to make due with that conveniently placed tea stand.
After a quick change back to being a male part of the species, he decided that since he was in another ward he might as well take this break and get in some private time. The only crazy that could possibly find him this far out was Ryoga. The last time he saw the pig he was being coddled like the fat porker he was in Akane's arms. God's he wished that he didn't have to keep up this facade. The cat in him really wanted to just come out and 'play' with Akane's pet.
The old man had ignored his cat like attributes and eventually dismissed them as being an illusion when he had learned to hide his non human features. Of course his time with Luna had helped him a bit with his problem with cats. He still shuddered at the thought of those little terrors.
He still remembered the day she died. His old man had come up to him holding her by her tail. Who would have ever thought that a speeding M1 A1 Abrhams would be going down a side street in Tokyo followed by a full regalia of VF-1 Valkeries. What was left of the cat didn't look much like Luna except for the crescent moon symbol on her forehead. He had to hold back his tears for when his father wasn't watching. Real men didn't cry. Well at least they didn't cry where others could see them. When he was alone though he bawled his eyes out like a little girl.
Who would have thought, him actually crying for a cat.
It was a sunny day out. There was a slight breeze which ruffled his usual Chinese clothes and hair every so often as he walked. Since Akane had cooked him breakfast this morning he hadn't gotten anything to eat. He stopped by a ramen stand and fished around in his pockets for some change. He only came up with 750 yen. Not enough for anything serious (well a serious meal for him) but a light snack until he could scrounge up some cash.
As he sat down the girl behind the counter gave him a huge smile. Leering would be a better word for it. He placed his order and sat back and watched as she went to fix it. All of a sudden his senses told him that he was being watched. He couldn't feel any malicious intent so he just sat there and carefully extended his senses. There were two girls. One was hiding behind the bushes directly behind him. She had a fairly powerful aura and he idly wondered if she was a martial artist. Further examination revealed that she was excited about something. Oh well a lot of girls in Nerima got excited about something or other when they were near him. He then focused on the other voyeur and noticed that it was yet another girl. She was hiding behind a garbage can. He focused on her further and noticed that there was a second ki signature right next to her. It was a cat.
Well her chances were just shot to hell. Anybody who was a cat lover was right out in his book.
"Here's your order sir." The ramen girl said as she held out a heaping bowl of ramen noodles piled high with lots of toppings including soft shelled crab, various types of fish, chicken, beef, and vegetables.
Ranma sighed internally. Girls, especially the young ones, could never get his order right. It was sorta like scamming free food when he was a girl. Unlike when he was scamming hormone crazed boys he actually felt bad when girls got their hopes up only to have them crushed under the brutal reality that he was taken already. (taken by several girls actually) He looked up right into her shining eyes so full of hope and life. He smiled, thanked her for the food and started eating.
Gods he was a weenie when it came to women.
As he ate he noted a few more girls join the first two in watching him. One was on a roof across the street and another was trying to share hiding space with the first girl behind the bush. The newcomers were nothing special, just normal girls out boy watching.
Before any new girls could show up he quickly finished his food thanked the girl, paid for what he had originally ordered and jumped from the street to the roof of a two story building. He started roof hopping away from there as fast as possible. Even if those two girls were martial artists, unless they were really hiding their true power, there was no way that they'd be able to keep up with him.
Back at the Ramen stand all the girls left their hiding places and moved to leave. Minako spotted Makoto and she rushed over to her.
"I saw him first!" They said at the same time.
Artemis just hung his head knowing that no good could come of this. The weird thing about that guy (other than jumping to the top of a two story building) was that he moved as smoothly as Luna did.
Ranma circled around and backtracked a bit before deciding that it was safe to go back to ground level. Once back on terra firma he decided to walk around for a bit since he still didn't want to get back to Nerima just yet. He set down near the park that he originally crashed down in. As he was about to walk by one of the bushes he heard two voices coming from the other side.
"But I want to go have some ice cream. Lend me some money k?" It was a young girl's voice.
"You still haven't paid me back from the last time!" A slightly older voice that Ranma thought was quite familiar.
"But Lunaaa come on please."
"No Usagi you'll get fat and then Rei will have a reason to call you porky." Luna said as she poked Usagi in the side.
As soon as the girl Usagi said Luna he made the connection. It would be just like the old man to fake Luna's death just so he could separate them. He remembered all the good times he had with her. Firming his resolve he jumped over the bush, twisting in mid air so that he would be facing the bench when he landed. Everything was executed perfectly except for one minor detail. When he landed he looked up and
"CAT!!!!!!!!!!!"
Ran away from the cat at high speed and jumped up into a nearby tree.
Usagi looked from where the crazy boy had gone to where Luna was.
"Umm Luna do you know just what that was?" Usagi asked.
"I don't... the only person to ever run away from a cat was..."
Usagi had to back away quickly as Luna let off a guttural growl and her aura burst around her and started swirling around like a miasma of hellfire. If she didn't already know that Luna was on their side she would have pulled out her compact and dusted her. As it was the wood on the bench was getting quite scorched.
"Ranmaaa!" She yelled before taking off at high speed towards the tree he had jumped into. She was leaving a trail of steaming grass as the water was evaporated by her battle aura.
Usagi had only seen Luna this mad once before when Artemis got Mina to switch her cat food with cheap dog food. Minako has never been the same since then. Usagi still had the image of her little cat trashing a human girl six times bigger than she was. Luna only got the best cat food after that incident. She might have been the princess but it was Luna who was in charge in their relationship.
She watched as Luna jumped into the tree that the crazy boy had gone into. There was a scuffle and the boy fell out of the tree. He righted himself and was about to run when Luna kicked him in the head. He went down but rolled and was about to get back to his feet when she pounced on him and started tearing into him with her claws.
"You fuck! You cocksucking little shit how dare you just leave me behind. Do you have any idea what I had to go through? Do you! No of course not, you were off with your old man doing who knows what!" She yelled as she gave him a particularly violent punch to the face.
Ranma had just about enough out of this talking kitty. On her next pass he grabbed one of her legs with amagouriken speed and tossed her to the ground. He immediately jumped on her and pinned her to the ground. When he looked down he saw the crescent moon on her forehead. He calmed down a bit enough to actually think.
"Luna you're alive!" He shouted as he picked her up off the ground and put her in a death grip.
"Cn't brt." Luna choked out.
Realizing that he was about to do her in again he relaxed his grip on her. She took a deep breath to clear away the asphyxiation and prepared to launch into another tirade when his statement pierced her brain.
"What do you mean alive?! I've never died you fuckwad!" She shouted.
"Yeah well before we went to China pops shows me this mangled cat and said that you'd run out into traffic and got run over by a tank, some mecha, and the entire Harlem globetrotters."
"And you believed him?" She asked his fate hanging on his answer.
"Well yeah it did have a crescent symbol on its forehead just like you." He thought for a bit. "Come to think of it I think it was male."
Ranma was about to get some forced ventilation when Usagi got her wits about her and decided to go see what was going on.
The boy that was currently holding Luna was around her age. He had black hair tied back into a pigtail. His blue eyes shone like sapphires in the sunlight. His well muscled body was clothed in a silk tang and black kung fu pants. If she was Mina or Makoto she'd be all over him by now. As it was she had to keep repeating that she was only interested in Mamoru.
"So Luna care to introduce me to your friend?" She asked crossing her arms under her breasts for emphasis.
"Ahh Usagi this is Ranma. I traveled with him for quite some time before I met you." She twitched her ear that had the notch cut out of it. "I guess it's time that I told you girls the whole story. Let's go to the shrine." She said as she jumped out of Ranma's arms and started walking towards the shrine.
"But Luna what about..." Usagi pointed at Ranma.
She turned her head around to look at Ranma.
"What about him?" She asked.
"Well how can we trust him?" Usagi said a bit nervously. Luna was always harping that they keep their secret from everybody.
"Hey!" Ranma shouted.
"Ranma do you promise on YOUR honour that you will not tell anybody about what you're going to see and hear." Luna said.
"Yeah sure I promise." He said a bit confused. Did it have anything to do with those magical girls that she was trying to find.
"Good enough for me." She looked at Usagi. "Hey Usagi call the others and tell them to meet at Rei's shrine." She turned to Ranma. "Race you!" She shouted as she took off at speeds that Usagi only could hit when she was transformed.... with a tail wind.... going downhill.
"No fair you furball. Get back here!" He shouted as he too took off chasing her cat.
Usagi stood dumbfounded for a good five minutes before she got up the intelligence to call the others and inform them what had happened. Minako and Makoto were hesitant since they were both transformed and out boy hunting. Usagi thought that their prey must be something if they had to transform just to have a chance of catching the guy. Ami was of course studying, and Rei was sweeping. When she'd called Rei she'd only gotten a few words out before Luna ran past her kicking up some leaves and then Ranma right on her heals destroying most of the work that she'd done that morning. She turned off her communicator without listening to what Usagi had to say as she yelled at the boy and started chasing him towards the shrine.
Back in the park Usagi shrugged her shoulders and started walking towards the shrine. Rei'd find out what was going on eventually. She briefly thought about transforming so that she could get to the shrine faster but decided against it just as fast. Luna had drilled it into their heads to not use their powers for mundane tasks. She also was a stickler for training. Ever since they had gotten their collective asses almost handed to them by Beryl, every Sunday she got them out for a couple hours of training in their powers. She had to admit that they had all gotten much better at not shooting their comrades or hapless bystanders since the training started. Of course she always held back when she trained them. The one time she tried to teach them martial arts the only two that got anything out of it were Makoto and Rei. She stopped trying after that little disaster. Since then she'd focused on tactics and teamwork.
Come to think of it they'd never actually asked Luna what happened before they met her. The few times Artemis called her a tom cat because of the notch cut out of her ear she would respond by threatening to throw him to the wolves.
Now Luna pulls this stunt with the crazy guy that she apparently knew some time ago and she was going to tell him everything. This guy had to be special for Luna to go and blow their cover like this.
As she was walking up the steps to the shrine she saw Ami just ahead of her plodding along her head in a book as usual. Since she didn't want to be the last one to the meeting she dashed up the stairs passing Ami.
When she got to the shrine she saw Ranma and Luna already there talking. Minako and Makoto were looking at him with hearts in their eyes, Rei was glaring at him for some reason, Artemis was cowering behind Minako, and Ami was sitting there reading her book. Usagi's jaw dropped. She was positive that she'd beaten Ami to the shrine. There was no way she could have beaten her there!
"Ami... but how?!!!" She stuttered.
"Sit down meatball head! I want to know just who he is and why he's talking to Luna and JUST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!" Rei shouted.
"Yes mam." Usagi eeped as she dashed over and sat beside Minako.
Rei was scary.
After everybody was settled down Rei turned her glare towards the new boy and the infuriating cat advisor.
"All right it's time to tell us EVERYTHING! Who is he? How do you know him?! Why are the martial arts you two use so similar?! And just who the hell is going to clean up the mess you two made!!!!?"
If it wasn't for her senshi transformation Rei would have died from a massive coronary by the time she was twenty six.
Luna stopped talking to Ranma and turned around in his lap. His hand automatically started petting her. To his credit he only shook a little bit. He forced his eyes up onto the brunette's breasts and imagined a cute and cuddly mink in his lap. He'd gotten very good at imagining other types of animals over the years.
"Well..." Luna started. "It all started about ten years ago. Apparently the stasis capsule that I was in malfunctioned and I was awakened way too early. I knew that I wasn't a normal cat because I could talk but other than that I couldn't remember anything else. Since I didn't have a master I became an alley cat." She glared right through Minako to where Artemis was cowering.
"One day his father " she indicated Ranma. "knocked me out and shoved me into a sack." There were several gasps at this. "I woke up in a dark pit with several dozen other starving cats. The lid to the pit was opened and Ranma here was thrown in. Since he was wrapped in fish sausage and smeared with fish paste the cats attacked him. I tried to defend him as best I could but I was too late. You see his father was trying to teach him this technique called the neko ken, the only thing he didn't do was read the big warning that stated that only a moron would try to teach the technique as it caused to user to develop a severe fear of felines."
"That's terrible! What kind of parent would do that to their child?!" Usagi said.
Both Ranma and Luna broke down laughing.
"Oh that's funny." Ranma said wiping a tear from his eye. "You don't know my old man. That was just one of the boneheaded things he's done." He paused in thought. "Well there was that time that he tried to get me to fly by tying me to the back of that 747. Or there was that time that he tried to increase my resistance by shoving me down a cliff. Then there were the wolves...."
"Wolves?" Several of the girls and Artemis said together.
"I'll tell that story as it has a special place in my heart." Luna said as she recalled that particular incident.
"Anyway back to the Neko ken. Well after he went crazy he started acting like a cat himself. He killed all the other cats in the pit and was about to kill me too but I accidentally mind melded with him." She dug her claws into his leg to warn him to keep quiet about what she was going to say next. "We escaped the pit and took off. We met up with this crazy old lady who helped him regain his human mind. She then said that I should travel with them and that I could help him get over his fear of cats or at least control it a bit. That's where we met. He found out I could talk a few days later and we became an inseparable team."
"That's not how I remember it." A voice said off to the side of the room.
Everybody looked towards the voice and saw Setsuna standing infront of a big screen tv. There was a surround system that had just magically appeared in the room.
"This is how I remember it." She said as she pressed play on the mini disk player.
On the screen there was a purring Ranma giving a tongue bath to a horrified Luna. The Luna in the room was transfixed on the screen. One of her most embarrassing moments was caught on film. Worst of all Artemis was watching! She just wanted to die right then and there. Little did she know that Ranma shared her sentiment.
When the video ended Luna looked around for a tall green haired scratching post. Not finding her she settled for screaming to the heavens her frustrations.
"When I get my claws on you Setsuna you will rue the day you messed with me! Do you hear me! I will claw out your spleen and use it for a kitty bed!"
Either that or curse the existence of the Sailor scout of Pluto.
While she was ranting Usagi went up to the system and tried to take the minidisk only to find that it was already gone.
Rei was thinking that she now had something better to watch anime on rather than downloading it with the great fire.
Once Luna calmed down enough she continued on with the story. When she got to the wolves and where she got the notch cut out of her ear Usagi fainted. Artemis promised himself to never ever tease Luna about it again.
She might make good on her threat.
Eventually they got to the part where they got separated. It had been several hours since they started. The girls didn't think that they could take much more of this. It was almost as crazy as some of their adventures. Makoto volunteered to go make snacks and get drinks for everybody. That and she needed time to think about what she'd heard.
Luna finally spoke up about something that had been bothering her ever since the park.
"Ranma where are your ears?" She asked.
"They're on the side of his head where they're supposed to be." Usagi said. She was trying to be helpful. After what she'd heard about her cat she was amazed that she retained any sanity at all.
"No, no that's not what I meant." She said shaking her head.
"Oh you mean that. After pops faked your death I learned how to hide them." He said as he released his control. There was a brief flash of light and he had a black tail, cat's ears and eyes, claws and fangs.
"See?" He said.
The girls all reached for their henshin pens and got ready to transform at a moments notice if he did anything weird. Ok weirder than what was already happening. Over time they'd all developed a shoot first, keep shooting attitude. You really couldn't blame them though when everything is trying to drain your energy for some evil plan.
"That's better. It was weird seeing you without them." Luna said as if all was right with the world.
Minako was the first one to get her voice back.
"So he's not a youma?" She asked easing her henshin pen back into storage.
"No he's not. I quite honestly don't know why he developed cat like traits. It could have something to do with the Neko ken training, or it could be the magic I hit him with, or it could be a combination of both."
"So he's a cat boy?" Rei asked.
"I guess." Ranma replied as he shrugged his shoulders.
Just then Makoto came back into the room carrying the snacks and drinks. She took one look at Ranma, tossed the tray at him to buy her some time and transformed into Sailor Jupiter. Ranma blocked the tray but as everybody might have guessed he couldn't avoid the juice that was on the tray. One quick switch later and he was forced to start dodging a Sailor scout that was on full offensive.
Now while the Sailor scouts are faster, stronger and all around tougher when they're transformed it was only a multiplicave factor of their normal speed and strength. Makoto was a black stripe in Shotokan Karate and as such was plenty fast and strong. Normally Ranma would eat full black belts for breakfast, however with her enhanced speed and strength Makoto was way beyond what a normal black stripe should be capable of.
Of course with the cat loose Ranma's normal speed, strength, and most importantly agility were increased as well. Also even though he was loathe to admit it his girl form had the advantage in speed and flexibility.
The end result was Ranma dancing almost effortlessly around a charging Jupiter. With each miss she was getting more pissed off. Her friends were just sitting there slack jawed while she did all the fighting. She couldn't even toss off any of her spells since she might hit one of them.
"What are you waiting for! He's a youma!" She shouted as she tried to hit the dodging girl again.
Ranma just slid around the punch like a cat stretching after sleeping in a sunbeam for a long time.
"Makoto stand down!" Shouted Luna. She was not happy that her petting session was interrupted. The turning into a girl was new, but she'd been with Ranma for ten years. He knew instinctively exactly how to pet her.
"But Luna he turned into a girl... and the ears and tail. How can you tell me to stop?" Makoto asked while taking a defensive stance.
"Well as I was telling the other girls the cat ears, tail, eyes etc. are from a training accident mixed with magic." She looked at him. "You can explain the girl thing can't you?"
Relaxing a bit he decided to sit down again. Jupiter just stood there eyeing him warily.
"Yeah well after we parted we headed off for China. The old man took us to these cursed springs Jusenkyo even though he didn't speak a word of Chinese." He turned to Jupiter. "Uhh could you get me some hot water?" He asked.
"Sorry I'm still not convinced you're not a monster. I'll just stay right here." She said as she firmed up her stance.
"I'll go get it." Ami volunteered as she got up and went off to the kitchen. She left her computer on to record everything that was happening.
"Thanks. Anyway so we get to this place and let me tell you it didn't look like much. Just a bunch of bamboo poles sticking out of these pools. It may not have looked like much but my cat senses were just going crazy trying to warn me of the danger even though I couldn't see or smell anything. To make a long story short anything that falls into the pools takes the form of whatever drowned in there when splashed with cold water, hot water reverses the curse. I hit the old man into the spring of drowned panda. Imagine my surprise when a panda jumps out of the pool. He clipped me on the shoulder. I managed to right myself so that I would land on my feet but I couldn't avoid falling into the pool." He hefted his breasts. "Spring of drowned girl if you hadn't guessed."
Jupiter spoke next as she lowered her defense a bit.
"So you're mostly human? You're not after energy or heart crystals or anything?"
"Uhh what?" He turned back to Luna. "I guess you found those warriors from the moon kingdom eh?"
Luna scratched the back of her head. "Yeah but I was wanting to introduce you on better terms." She glared at Jupiter. "Stand down he's not going to hurt you. Besides from what I saw he could tear you apart quite easily."
"Yeah right if I could use my magic I'd paste him." She said defiantly as she transformed back.
"You'd have to hit him first, and quite honestly I don't think you'd be able to." Luna said with a smirk. "Dodging pellets from a pellet gun helps you get really good at dodging. You'd have to all work together to catch him. Remember that training where you tried to tag me? It took all of you three months just to tag me once. Now you understand what a highly trained martial artist can do when properly motivated and enhanced by a little bit of magic."
"So he's better than us?" Ami said as she came back with the glass of hot water.
"No I wouldn't say that. For instance the monsters we fight can't be hurt by physical attacks, only magic will work." She watched as Ranma poured the hot water over her now his head. "Since I don't think Ranma has any magical attacks he wouldn't be able to do any damage to the monster."
"Hey" He protested.
"It's true. I don't think your claws count as magic and unless it's magical it won't hurt them." She shrugged as best she could with her kitty shoulders.
"Yeah well... hey did you ever find her?" He asked.
"Her?" Luna said confused by what he meant. "Oh you mean the princess?" They gasped.
"Luna! How could you!" Artemis shouted as he jumped out from behind Minako. "How could you tell him about the princess and the Sailor scouts?" Open guillotine, insert head.
Luna spared a brief glance upwards to see Ranma clinging to the ceiling. Figuring he was alright for now she decided to play her favorite game.
"Artemis you idiot."
Tear a strip off Artemis.
"When you woke up exactly how much did you remember?" He was going to say something but she cut him off. "Not much that's what. Well guess what! I woke up years before you! All I knew was that I had to do something. What it was I couldn't remember. When I hooked up with Ranma and he found out that I could talk I used him to help me search for anything that could help me figure out what to do." She sighed. "In the end it came down to blind luck." She turned back on him. "Besides he's given me his word that he wouldn't tell anybody." She said like it was the most natural thing in the world.
"And you're just going to take his word that he's not going to tell anybody! How the hell can you trust him!" Artemis yelled back not knowing exactly how dangerous this was.
"I trust his honour." She said quietly. "I've known him for so long that when he gives his word on something nothing will make him break it. If he gives his word to not betray us I believe him." She finished with a snarl. "Now sit down before I have to hurt you." Her battle aura sprang to life and her crescent moon glowed like hellfire.
"Yes mam." Artemis squeaked out as he dashed off behind Minako. He'd just lost three lives right there.
Luna took a minute or three to calm down again. When she looked up she noticed that all of the girls had pulled out their henshin pens and were standing at the ready. She sweat dropped. After a bit they too calmed down and put away their armaments.
Of course this entire show was wasted on Ranma who was still clinging to the ceiling for dear life. Luna sighed as she remembered exactly how hard it was to get him back to normal once he was spooked.
"Ranma get down here!" She yelled knowing it would do no good.
"No there's a cat down there!" He retorted digging his fingers into the wood beam.
"Artemis is gone now. Honestly he's a Lunar cat just like me. Just look at the crescent on his forehead."
"Tried that doesn't work." He said as he remembered looking at the crescent and only seeing a cat.
"That's weird." She said more to herself. "Anyway he's gone now so get back down here."
"You sure he's gone?" He asked timidly.
"Yes I'm sure he's gone." She glared at a point behind Minako daring Artemis to do anything.
Reassured by her Ranma dropped easily from the ceiling. He landed on his feet of course.
"Ranma I'd like to introduce you to the Sailor scouts and Princess Serenity." Luna said with a bit of pomp and flair.
Not waiting for Luna to properly introduce them he walked up to Rei and knelt before her.
"It's an honour to finally meet you princess." He said as he bowed with his arm crossing his chest.
All in all he looked quite noble. Except for one fact.
"Umm Ranma she's not the princess." Luna said as she took a quick look at Usagi who as now fuming.
"I don't understand." He said looking at Luna then back at Rei. "She's commanding and authoritative. She carries herself like she's in charge and she acts like it too. How can she not be the princess?"
Rei of course was gloating.
"Hah take that Usagi he can tell royalty when he sees it." She said flipping her hair.
"But I'm the princess!" Usagi shouted her ponytails flailing behind her.
Luna put her paw to her forehead to try and stave off the headache she knew was coming.
"And just how many princesses do you know?" She asked dreading his answer.
"A few actually." He said scratching his chin. Shampoo was technically a princess and with the correct application of cold water so was Herb. He turned towards Usagi.
"So she's the princess?" He asked studying her intently. "But she's clumsy, lazy, whiny, submissive, and she's taking care of you instead of letting one of her minions do it."
Usagi was just about to blow a gasket.
"Actually her mother feeds me and other than that I pretty much take care of myself."
"I AM NOT CLUMSY!" Usagi yelled as she stood up rapidly. She of course lost her balance as she tripped on one of her trailing ponytails and did a perfect ten faceplant.
"Are you absolutely positive that she's the princess?" Ranma asked.
"Unfortunately yes." Luna said as she hung her head.
"Hey!" Usagi shouted at her cat as she got back to her feet.
Luna ignored her and continued on with the introductions.
"This is Ami Mizuno aka Sailor Mercury." She said indicating Ami with her paw.
"Next we have Minako Aino aka Sailor Venus." Pointing to Minako.
"Then there's Usagi Tsukino our Princess Serenity aka Sailor Moon." She said as she waved her paw in Usagi's general direction.
"Hey I'm worth more than a general mention!" Usagi protested again.
"Next on our list is Rei Hino aka Sailor Mars." She said pointing at Rei with her paw.
"And finally you're already familiar with Makoto Kino aka Sailor Jupiter."
"Uhh sorry about trying to kill you." Makoto said sheepishly as one could after one just tried to kill the guy you were lusting after.
"Eh? No problem. All of my friends and fiancées have tried to kill me at one point or another." He said as if trying to kill him was normal or something.
"Fiancées!" All the girls shouted.
"It's a long story." Ranma said as he proceeded to explain about Akane, Sakura and Shampoo.
Authors notes
Ak! Gods do I suck. Oh well here's chapter three. Yes I do know that Setsuna doesn't actually appear until I think it was around the dark moon circus arc but hey I needed a plot device.
I think next up will be Cat's Tale. I've ignored that series for quite long enough.
nealharris@otakumail.com
Chapter 3: Everything old is new again.
Time passes as it is apt to do. Ranma and his father still went to Jusenko, they still ate the prize. Ranma was still dumped on Akane. The only noticeable difference is that another of Genma's extra fiancée's took Ukyo's place as his friend/fiancée. Her name was Sakura Kurinai and she set up a little tea shop. Martial arts tea ceremony. Other than that little blurb, time was more or less the same.
For Luna it was pretty much the same. She rallied the scouts to defeat Beryl, the doom tree and Death Phantom. Nothing much changed, other than whenever Artemis would mouth off he would get trashed, or when Usagi overslept Luna would drag her charge out of bed and downstairs. The first time Mrs. Tsukino saw the eight kilo Luna dragging her 45 kilo daughter she almost had a heart attack. Since then she praised Luna and kept her well fed because the trip down the stairs usually woke her daughter up so she could get to school on time. Unknown to the rest of the scouts or even Artemis himself Luna kept up her practice so that she wouldn't lose her edge. Living next to the Yamada's and their pitbull and german sheppard was a blessing in disguise for her as both of them made great training partners.
It happened on a fine spring day about two days after Ranma got back from his fight with Herb. Akane had been so happy that her favorite punching bag / stress relief had come back, she decided to cook him a feast. Said feast tried to take over the neighborhood. It was stopped by all of the martial artists in the area banding together to destroy the threat. When he'd commented about it she'd malleted him again. He'd have to remember to cancel her subscription to mallet monthly.
So here he was flying through the air yet again. Looking down he noted passing over the boundary between Juuban and Nerima. Akane must have been pissed if she was able to get this much distance. Quickly calculating his trajectory he noted that he was going to land in a small pond in the middle of a park.
At least it wasn't concrete.
As he was dragging his now her waterlogged self out of the pond he noted a couple of perverts staring at his chest. He flared his aura to provide sufficient discouragement to said perverts and to dry his clothes. Someday he'd have to figure out how to use his ki to heat the water in his clothes and use it to change back with. But until that day he'd have to make due with that conveniently placed tea stand.
After a quick change back to being a male part of the species, he decided that since he was in another ward he might as well take this break and get in some private time. The only crazy that could possibly find him this far out was Ryoga. The last time he saw the pig he was being coddled like the fat porker he was in Akane's arms. God's he wished that he didn't have to keep up this facade. The cat in him really wanted to just come out and 'play' with Akane's pet.
The old man had ignored his cat like attributes and eventually dismissed them as being an illusion when he had learned to hide his non human features. Of course his time with Luna had helped him a bit with his problem with cats. He still shuddered at the thought of those little terrors.
He still remembered the day she died. His old man had come up to him holding her by her tail. Who would have ever thought that a speeding M1 A1 Abrhams would be going down a side street in Tokyo followed by a full regalia of VF-1 Valkeries. What was left of the cat didn't look much like Luna except for the crescent moon symbol on her forehead. He had to hold back his tears for when his father wasn't watching. Real men didn't cry. Well at least they didn't cry where others could see them. When he was alone though he bawled his eyes out like a little girl.
Who would have thought, him actually crying for a cat.
It was a sunny day out. There was a slight breeze which ruffled his usual Chinese clothes and hair every so often as he walked. Since Akane had cooked him breakfast this morning he hadn't gotten anything to eat. He stopped by a ramen stand and fished around in his pockets for some change. He only came up with 750 yen. Not enough for anything serious (well a serious meal for him) but a light snack until he could scrounge up some cash.
As he sat down the girl behind the counter gave him a huge smile. Leering would be a better word for it. He placed his order and sat back and watched as she went to fix it. All of a sudden his senses told him that he was being watched. He couldn't feel any malicious intent so he just sat there and carefully extended his senses. There were two girls. One was hiding behind the bushes directly behind him. She had a fairly powerful aura and he idly wondered if she was a martial artist. Further examination revealed that she was excited about something. Oh well a lot of girls in Nerima got excited about something or other when they were near him. He then focused on the other voyeur and noticed that it was yet another girl. She was hiding behind a garbage can. He focused on her further and noticed that there was a second ki signature right next to her. It was a cat.
Well her chances were just shot to hell. Anybody who was a cat lover was right out in his book.
"Here's your order sir." The ramen girl said as she held out a heaping bowl of ramen noodles piled high with lots of toppings including soft shelled crab, various types of fish, chicken, beef, and vegetables.
Ranma sighed internally. Girls, especially the young ones, could never get his order right. It was sorta like scamming free food when he was a girl. Unlike when he was scamming hormone crazed boys he actually felt bad when girls got their hopes up only to have them crushed under the brutal reality that he was taken already. (taken by several girls actually) He looked up right into her shining eyes so full of hope and life. He smiled, thanked her for the food and started eating.
Gods he was a weenie when it came to women.
As he ate he noted a few more girls join the first two in watching him. One was on a roof across the street and another was trying to share hiding space with the first girl behind the bush. The newcomers were nothing special, just normal girls out boy watching.
Before any new girls could show up he quickly finished his food thanked the girl, paid for what he had originally ordered and jumped from the street to the roof of a two story building. He started roof hopping away from there as fast as possible. Even if those two girls were martial artists, unless they were really hiding their true power, there was no way that they'd be able to keep up with him.
Back at the Ramen stand all the girls left their hiding places and moved to leave. Minako spotted Makoto and she rushed over to her.
"I saw him first!" They said at the same time.
Artemis just hung his head knowing that no good could come of this. The weird thing about that guy (other than jumping to the top of a two story building) was that he moved as smoothly as Luna did.
Ranma circled around and backtracked a bit before deciding that it was safe to go back to ground level. Once back on terra firma he decided to walk around for a bit since he still didn't want to get back to Nerima just yet. He set down near the park that he originally crashed down in. As he was about to walk by one of the bushes he heard two voices coming from the other side.
"But I want to go have some ice cream. Lend me some money k?" It was a young girl's voice.
"You still haven't paid me back from the last time!" A slightly older voice that Ranma thought was quite familiar.
"But Lunaaa come on please."
"No Usagi you'll get fat and then Rei will have a reason to call you porky." Luna said as she poked Usagi in the side.
As soon as the girl Usagi said Luna he made the connection. It would be just like the old man to fake Luna's death just so he could separate them. He remembered all the good times he had with her. Firming his resolve he jumped over the bush, twisting in mid air so that he would be facing the bench when he landed. Everything was executed perfectly except for one minor detail. When he landed he looked up and
"CAT!!!!!!!!!!!"
Ran away from the cat at high speed and jumped up into a nearby tree.
Usagi looked from where the crazy boy had gone to where Luna was.
"Umm Luna do you know just what that was?" Usagi asked.
"I don't... the only person to ever run away from a cat was..."
Usagi had to back away quickly as Luna let off a guttural growl and her aura burst around her and started swirling around like a miasma of hellfire. If she didn't already know that Luna was on their side she would have pulled out her compact and dusted her. As it was the wood on the bench was getting quite scorched.
"Ranmaaa!" She yelled before taking off at high speed towards the tree he had jumped into. She was leaving a trail of steaming grass as the water was evaporated by her battle aura.
Usagi had only seen Luna this mad once before when Artemis got Mina to switch her cat food with cheap dog food. Minako has never been the same since then. Usagi still had the image of her little cat trashing a human girl six times bigger than she was. Luna only got the best cat food after that incident. She might have been the princess but it was Luna who was in charge in their relationship.
She watched as Luna jumped into the tree that the crazy boy had gone into. There was a scuffle and the boy fell out of the tree. He righted himself and was about to run when Luna kicked him in the head. He went down but rolled and was about to get back to his feet when she pounced on him and started tearing into him with her claws.
"You fuck! You cocksucking little shit how dare you just leave me behind. Do you have any idea what I had to go through? Do you! No of course not, you were off with your old man doing who knows what!" She yelled as she gave him a particularly violent punch to the face.
Ranma had just about enough out of this talking kitty. On her next pass he grabbed one of her legs with amagouriken speed and tossed her to the ground. He immediately jumped on her and pinned her to the ground. When he looked down he saw the crescent moon on her forehead. He calmed down a bit enough to actually think.
"Luna you're alive!" He shouted as he picked her up off the ground and put her in a death grip.
"Cn't brt." Luna choked out.
Realizing that he was about to do her in again he relaxed his grip on her. She took a deep breath to clear away the asphyxiation and prepared to launch into another tirade when his statement pierced her brain.
"What do you mean alive?! I've never died you fuckwad!" She shouted.
"Yeah well before we went to China pops shows me this mangled cat and said that you'd run out into traffic and got run over by a tank, some mecha, and the entire Harlem globetrotters."
"And you believed him?" She asked his fate hanging on his answer.
"Well yeah it did have a crescent symbol on its forehead just like you." He thought for a bit. "Come to think of it I think it was male."
Ranma was about to get some forced ventilation when Usagi got her wits about her and decided to go see what was going on.
The boy that was currently holding Luna was around her age. He had black hair tied back into a pigtail. His blue eyes shone like sapphires in the sunlight. His well muscled body was clothed in a silk tang and black kung fu pants. If she was Mina or Makoto she'd be all over him by now. As it was she had to keep repeating that she was only interested in Mamoru.
"So Luna care to introduce me to your friend?" She asked crossing her arms under her breasts for emphasis.
"Ahh Usagi this is Ranma. I traveled with him for quite some time before I met you." She twitched her ear that had the notch cut out of it. "I guess it's time that I told you girls the whole story. Let's go to the shrine." She said as she jumped out of Ranma's arms and started walking towards the shrine.
"But Luna what about..." Usagi pointed at Ranma.
She turned her head around to look at Ranma.
"What about him?" She asked.
"Well how can we trust him?" Usagi said a bit nervously. Luna was always harping that they keep their secret from everybody.
"Hey!" Ranma shouted.
"Ranma do you promise on YOUR honour that you will not tell anybody about what you're going to see and hear." Luna said.
"Yeah sure I promise." He said a bit confused. Did it have anything to do with those magical girls that she was trying to find.
"Good enough for me." She looked at Usagi. "Hey Usagi call the others and tell them to meet at Rei's shrine." She turned to Ranma. "Race you!" She shouted as she took off at speeds that Usagi only could hit when she was transformed.... with a tail wind.... going downhill.
"No fair you furball. Get back here!" He shouted as he too took off chasing her cat.
Usagi stood dumbfounded for a good five minutes before she got up the intelligence to call the others and inform them what had happened. Minako and Makoto were hesitant since they were both transformed and out boy hunting. Usagi thought that their prey must be something if they had to transform just to have a chance of catching the guy. Ami was of course studying, and Rei was sweeping. When she'd called Rei she'd only gotten a few words out before Luna ran past her kicking up some leaves and then Ranma right on her heals destroying most of the work that she'd done that morning. She turned off her communicator without listening to what Usagi had to say as she yelled at the boy and started chasing him towards the shrine.
Back in the park Usagi shrugged her shoulders and started walking towards the shrine. Rei'd find out what was going on eventually. She briefly thought about transforming so that she could get to the shrine faster but decided against it just as fast. Luna had drilled it into their heads to not use their powers for mundane tasks. She also was a stickler for training. Ever since they had gotten their collective asses almost handed to them by Beryl, every Sunday she got them out for a couple hours of training in their powers. She had to admit that they had all gotten much better at not shooting their comrades or hapless bystanders since the training started. Of course she always held back when she trained them. The one time she tried to teach them martial arts the only two that got anything out of it were Makoto and Rei. She stopped trying after that little disaster. Since then she'd focused on tactics and teamwork.
Come to think of it they'd never actually asked Luna what happened before they met her. The few times Artemis called her a tom cat because of the notch cut out of her ear she would respond by threatening to throw him to the wolves.
Now Luna pulls this stunt with the crazy guy that she apparently knew some time ago and she was going to tell him everything. This guy had to be special for Luna to go and blow their cover like this.
As she was walking up the steps to the shrine she saw Ami just ahead of her plodding along her head in a book as usual. Since she didn't want to be the last one to the meeting she dashed up the stairs passing Ami.
When she got to the shrine she saw Ranma and Luna already there talking. Minako and Makoto were looking at him with hearts in their eyes, Rei was glaring at him for some reason, Artemis was cowering behind Minako, and Ami was sitting there reading her book. Usagi's jaw dropped. She was positive that she'd beaten Ami to the shrine. There was no way she could have beaten her there!
"Ami... but how?!!!" She stuttered.
"Sit down meatball head! I want to know just who he is and why he's talking to Luna and JUST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!" Rei shouted.
"Yes mam." Usagi eeped as she dashed over and sat beside Minako.
Rei was scary.
After everybody was settled down Rei turned her glare towards the new boy and the infuriating cat advisor.
"All right it's time to tell us EVERYTHING! Who is he? How do you know him?! Why are the martial arts you two use so similar?! And just who the hell is going to clean up the mess you two made!!!!?"
If it wasn't for her senshi transformation Rei would have died from a massive coronary by the time she was twenty six.
Luna stopped talking to Ranma and turned around in his lap. His hand automatically started petting her. To his credit he only shook a little bit. He forced his eyes up onto the brunette's breasts and imagined a cute and cuddly mink in his lap. He'd gotten very good at imagining other types of animals over the years.
"Well..." Luna started. "It all started about ten years ago. Apparently the stasis capsule that I was in malfunctioned and I was awakened way too early. I knew that I wasn't a normal cat because I could talk but other than that I couldn't remember anything else. Since I didn't have a master I became an alley cat." She glared right through Minako to where Artemis was cowering.
"One day his father " she indicated Ranma. "knocked me out and shoved me into a sack." There were several gasps at this. "I woke up in a dark pit with several dozen other starving cats. The lid to the pit was opened and Ranma here was thrown in. Since he was wrapped in fish sausage and smeared with fish paste the cats attacked him. I tried to defend him as best I could but I was too late. You see his father was trying to teach him this technique called the neko ken, the only thing he didn't do was read the big warning that stated that only a moron would try to teach the technique as it caused to user to develop a severe fear of felines."
"That's terrible! What kind of parent would do that to their child?!" Usagi said.
Both Ranma and Luna broke down laughing.
"Oh that's funny." Ranma said wiping a tear from his eye. "You don't know my old man. That was just one of the boneheaded things he's done." He paused in thought. "Well there was that time that he tried to get me to fly by tying me to the back of that 747. Or there was that time that he tried to increase my resistance by shoving me down a cliff. Then there were the wolves...."
"Wolves?" Several of the girls and Artemis said together.
"I'll tell that story as it has a special place in my heart." Luna said as she recalled that particular incident.
"Anyway back to the Neko ken. Well after he went crazy he started acting like a cat himself. He killed all the other cats in the pit and was about to kill me too but I accidentally mind melded with him." She dug her claws into his leg to warn him to keep quiet about what she was going to say next. "We escaped the pit and took off. We met up with this crazy old lady who helped him regain his human mind. She then said that I should travel with them and that I could help him get over his fear of cats or at least control it a bit. That's where we met. He found out I could talk a few days later and we became an inseparable team."
"That's not how I remember it." A voice said off to the side of the room.
Everybody looked towards the voice and saw Setsuna standing infront of a big screen tv. There was a surround system that had just magically appeared in the room.
"This is how I remember it." She said as she pressed play on the mini disk player.
On the screen there was a purring Ranma giving a tongue bath to a horrified Luna. The Luna in the room was transfixed on the screen. One of her most embarrassing moments was caught on film. Worst of all Artemis was watching! She just wanted to die right then and there. Little did she know that Ranma shared her sentiment.
When the video ended Luna looked around for a tall green haired scratching post. Not finding her she settled for screaming to the heavens her frustrations.
"When I get my claws on you Setsuna you will rue the day you messed with me! Do you hear me! I will claw out your spleen and use it for a kitty bed!"
Either that or curse the existence of the Sailor scout of Pluto.
While she was ranting Usagi went up to the system and tried to take the minidisk only to find that it was already gone.
Rei was thinking that she now had something better to watch anime on rather than downloading it with the great fire.
Once Luna calmed down enough she continued on with the story. When she got to the wolves and where she got the notch cut out of her ear Usagi fainted. Artemis promised himself to never ever tease Luna about it again.
She might make good on her threat.
Eventually they got to the part where they got separated. It had been several hours since they started. The girls didn't think that they could take much more of this. It was almost as crazy as some of their adventures. Makoto volunteered to go make snacks and get drinks for everybody. That and she needed time to think about what she'd heard.
Luna finally spoke up about something that had been bothering her ever since the park.
"Ranma where are your ears?" She asked.
"They're on the side of his head where they're supposed to be." Usagi said. She was trying to be helpful. After what she'd heard about her cat she was amazed that she retained any sanity at all.
"No, no that's not what I meant." She said shaking her head.
"Oh you mean that. After pops faked your death I learned how to hide them." He said as he released his control. There was a brief flash of light and he had a black tail, cat's ears and eyes, claws and fangs.
"See?" He said.
The girls all reached for their henshin pens and got ready to transform at a moments notice if he did anything weird. Ok weirder than what was already happening. Over time they'd all developed a shoot first, keep shooting attitude. You really couldn't blame them though when everything is trying to drain your energy for some evil plan.
"That's better. It was weird seeing you without them." Luna said as if all was right with the world.
Minako was the first one to get her voice back.
"So he's not a youma?" She asked easing her henshin pen back into storage.
"No he's not. I quite honestly don't know why he developed cat like traits. It could have something to do with the Neko ken training, or it could be the magic I hit him with, or it could be a combination of both."
"So he's a cat boy?" Rei asked.
"I guess." Ranma replied as he shrugged his shoulders.
Just then Makoto came back into the room carrying the snacks and drinks. She took one look at Ranma, tossed the tray at him to buy her some time and transformed into Sailor Jupiter. Ranma blocked the tray but as everybody might have guessed he couldn't avoid the juice that was on the tray. One quick switch later and he was forced to start dodging a Sailor scout that was on full offensive.
Now while the Sailor scouts are faster, stronger and all around tougher when they're transformed it was only a multiplicave factor of their normal speed and strength. Makoto was a black stripe in Shotokan Karate and as such was plenty fast and strong. Normally Ranma would eat full black belts for breakfast, however with her enhanced speed and strength Makoto was way beyond what a normal black stripe should be capable of.
Of course with the cat loose Ranma's normal speed, strength, and most importantly agility were increased as well. Also even though he was loathe to admit it his girl form had the advantage in speed and flexibility.
The end result was Ranma dancing almost effortlessly around a charging Jupiter. With each miss she was getting more pissed off. Her friends were just sitting there slack jawed while she did all the fighting. She couldn't even toss off any of her spells since she might hit one of them.
"What are you waiting for! He's a youma!" She shouted as she tried to hit the dodging girl again.
Ranma just slid around the punch like a cat stretching after sleeping in a sunbeam for a long time.
"Makoto stand down!" Shouted Luna. She was not happy that her petting session was interrupted. The turning into a girl was new, but she'd been with Ranma for ten years. He knew instinctively exactly how to pet her.
"But Luna he turned into a girl... and the ears and tail. How can you tell me to stop?" Makoto asked while taking a defensive stance.
"Well as I was telling the other girls the cat ears, tail, eyes etc. are from a training accident mixed with magic." She looked at him. "You can explain the girl thing can't you?"
Relaxing a bit he decided to sit down again. Jupiter just stood there eyeing him warily.
"Yeah well after we parted we headed off for China. The old man took us to these cursed springs Jusenkyo even though he didn't speak a word of Chinese." He turned to Jupiter. "Uhh could you get me some hot water?" He asked.
"Sorry I'm still not convinced you're not a monster. I'll just stay right here." She said as she firmed up her stance.
"I'll go get it." Ami volunteered as she got up and went off to the kitchen. She left her computer on to record everything that was happening.
"Thanks. Anyway so we get to this place and let me tell you it didn't look like much. Just a bunch of bamboo poles sticking out of these pools. It may not have looked like much but my cat senses were just going crazy trying to warn me of the danger even though I couldn't see or smell anything. To make a long story short anything that falls into the pools takes the form of whatever drowned in there when splashed with cold water, hot water reverses the curse. I hit the old man into the spring of drowned panda. Imagine my surprise when a panda jumps out of the pool. He clipped me on the shoulder. I managed to right myself so that I would land on my feet but I couldn't avoid falling into the pool." He hefted his breasts. "Spring of drowned girl if you hadn't guessed."
Jupiter spoke next as she lowered her defense a bit.
"So you're mostly human? You're not after energy or heart crystals or anything?"
"Uhh what?" He turned back to Luna. "I guess you found those warriors from the moon kingdom eh?"
Luna scratched the back of her head. "Yeah but I was wanting to introduce you on better terms." She glared at Jupiter. "Stand down he's not going to hurt you. Besides from what I saw he could tear you apart quite easily."
"Yeah right if I could use my magic I'd paste him." She said defiantly as she transformed back.
"You'd have to hit him first, and quite honestly I don't think you'd be able to." Luna said with a smirk. "Dodging pellets from a pellet gun helps you get really good at dodging. You'd have to all work together to catch him. Remember that training where you tried to tag me? It took all of you three months just to tag me once. Now you understand what a highly trained martial artist can do when properly motivated and enhanced by a little bit of magic."
"So he's better than us?" Ami said as she came back with the glass of hot water.
"No I wouldn't say that. For instance the monsters we fight can't be hurt by physical attacks, only magic will work." She watched as Ranma poured the hot water over her now his head. "Since I don't think Ranma has any magical attacks he wouldn't be able to do any damage to the monster."
"Hey" He protested.
"It's true. I don't think your claws count as magic and unless it's magical it won't hurt them." She shrugged as best she could with her kitty shoulders.
"Yeah well... hey did you ever find her?" He asked.
"Her?" Luna said confused by what he meant. "Oh you mean the princess?" They gasped.
"Luna! How could you!" Artemis shouted as he jumped out from behind Minako. "How could you tell him about the princess and the Sailor scouts?" Open guillotine, insert head.
Luna spared a brief glance upwards to see Ranma clinging to the ceiling. Figuring he was alright for now she decided to play her favorite game.
"Artemis you idiot."
Tear a strip off Artemis.
"When you woke up exactly how much did you remember?" He was going to say something but she cut him off. "Not much that's what. Well guess what! I woke up years before you! All I knew was that I had to do something. What it was I couldn't remember. When I hooked up with Ranma and he found out that I could talk I used him to help me search for anything that could help me figure out what to do." She sighed. "In the end it came down to blind luck." She turned back on him. "Besides he's given me his word that he wouldn't tell anybody." She said like it was the most natural thing in the world.
"And you're just going to take his word that he's not going to tell anybody! How the hell can you trust him!" Artemis yelled back not knowing exactly how dangerous this was.
"I trust his honour." She said quietly. "I've known him for so long that when he gives his word on something nothing will make him break it. If he gives his word to not betray us I believe him." She finished with a snarl. "Now sit down before I have to hurt you." Her battle aura sprang to life and her crescent moon glowed like hellfire.
"Yes mam." Artemis squeaked out as he dashed off behind Minako. He'd just lost three lives right there.
Luna took a minute or three to calm down again. When she looked up she noticed that all of the girls had pulled out their henshin pens and were standing at the ready. She sweat dropped. After a bit they too calmed down and put away their armaments.
Of course this entire show was wasted on Ranma who was still clinging to the ceiling for dear life. Luna sighed as she remembered exactly how hard it was to get him back to normal once he was spooked.
"Ranma get down here!" She yelled knowing it would do no good.
"No there's a cat down there!" He retorted digging his fingers into the wood beam.
"Artemis is gone now. Honestly he's a Lunar cat just like me. Just look at the crescent on his forehead."
"Tried that doesn't work." He said as he remembered looking at the crescent and only seeing a cat.
"That's weird." She said more to herself. "Anyway he's gone now so get back down here."
"You sure he's gone?" He asked timidly.
"Yes I'm sure he's gone." She glared at a point behind Minako daring Artemis to do anything.
Reassured by her Ranma dropped easily from the ceiling. He landed on his feet of course.
"Ranma I'd like to introduce you to the Sailor scouts and Princess Serenity." Luna said with a bit of pomp and flair.
Not waiting for Luna to properly introduce them he walked up to Rei and knelt before her.
"It's an honour to finally meet you princess." He said as he bowed with his arm crossing his chest.
All in all he looked quite noble. Except for one fact.
"Umm Ranma she's not the princess." Luna said as she took a quick look at Usagi who as now fuming.
"I don't understand." He said looking at Luna then back at Rei. "She's commanding and authoritative. She carries herself like she's in charge and she acts like it too. How can she not be the princess?"
Rei of course was gloating.
"Hah take that Usagi he can tell royalty when he sees it." She said flipping her hair.
"But I'm the princess!" Usagi shouted her ponytails flailing behind her.
Luna put her paw to her forehead to try and stave off the headache she knew was coming.
"And just how many princesses do you know?" She asked dreading his answer.
"A few actually." He said scratching his chin. Shampoo was technically a princess and with the correct application of cold water so was Herb. He turned towards Usagi.
"So she's the princess?" He asked studying her intently. "But she's clumsy, lazy, whiny, submissive, and she's taking care of you instead of letting one of her minions do it."
Usagi was just about to blow a gasket.
"Actually her mother feeds me and other than that I pretty much take care of myself."
"I AM NOT CLUMSY!" Usagi yelled as she stood up rapidly. She of course lost her balance as she tripped on one of her trailing ponytails and did a perfect ten faceplant.
"Are you absolutely positive that she's the princess?" Ranma asked.
"Unfortunately yes." Luna said as she hung her head.
"Hey!" Usagi shouted at her cat as she got back to her feet.
Luna ignored her and continued on with the introductions.
"This is Ami Mizuno aka Sailor Mercury." She said indicating Ami with her paw.
"Next we have Minako Aino aka Sailor Venus." Pointing to Minako.
"Then there's Usagi Tsukino our Princess Serenity aka Sailor Moon." She said as she waved her paw in Usagi's general direction.
"Hey I'm worth more than a general mention!" Usagi protested again.
"Next on our list is Rei Hino aka Sailor Mars." She said pointing at Rei with her paw.
"And finally you're already familiar with Makoto Kino aka Sailor Jupiter."
"Uhh sorry about trying to kill you." Makoto said sheepishly as one could after one just tried to kill the guy you were lusting after.
"Eh? No problem. All of my friends and fiancées have tried to kill me at one point or another." He said as if trying to kill him was normal or something.
"Fiancées!" All the girls shouted.
"It's a long story." Ranma said as he proceeded to explain about Akane, Sakura and Shampoo.
Authors notes
Ak! Gods do I suck. Oh well here's chapter three. Yes I do know that Setsuna doesn't actually appear until I think it was around the dark moon circus arc but hey I needed a plot device.
I think next up will be Cat's Tale. I've ignored that series for quite long enough.
nealharris@otakumail.com