Chapter 18

Ryan lay on his bed staring at the ceiling. He didn't know what to think. On the one hand, he thought that Lindsay was overreacting, but he also felt guilty because he was having a great time with Marissa. For a while, he had even forgotten about Lindsay. It was like he was lost in the old days. Ryan was torn. He wasn't sure if he wanted to get back together with Marissa with all that she was going through, but she had seemed pretty together while they were hanging out. Come to think of it, Marissa didn't ever have too many issues when she was hanging out with Ryan, since last Christmukah! Ryan sat up, now he felt even guiltier. He liked Lindsay, but it didn't always seem to click. Plus, she and Kirsten were starting to become closer, which was a little bit weird. Ryan stood. He had to clear his head, or at least sort some of his feelings out. He walked into the house to find Summer and Seth consumed in each other on the couch.
Ryan looked away, "Geez Seth, you do have a room you know."
Seth broke away from Summer and looked at Ryan, "Yes I know this Ryan, but it is the vicinity between my room and my parents room that concerns me."
"Ah." Ryan replied, understanding. "Listen, I'm just going to go walk around for a little bit. Think about a few things."
Seth nodded, "Do you want company?"
Ryan shook his head, "Nah, that's ok. You guys look busy anyway."
Summer spoke up quietly, "Is everything ok between you and Lindsay?"
Ryan shrugged, "I don't know. We'll see I guess." Ryan walked out of the room and down the driveway. He walked towards the pier, the pier was his favorite place in Newport. When he was on the pier, he really was on the edge of the world, something he had never gotten to experience in Chino. As he reached the pier, he saw a familiar figure standing in the distance. Marissa was leaned up against the railing, her hair was blowing in the wind. Ryan walked up behind her quietly. He touched her shoulder gently, "Hey."

Marissa jumped and looked up at Ryan.

Ryan smiled, "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Ryan's smile faded as he noticed that Marissa's face was stained with the path of tears. "What's wrong?" He asked gently.

Marissa sheepishly wiped her face, embarrassed to be seen crying. "Nothing." She replied, "It's nothing."

Ryan nodded slowly, "Well if you decide that it is something, I want to hear about it ok?"

Marissa smiled and nodded. Another tear began to roll down her cheek as she thought about what Alex had said about her and Ryan. She hid the tear from Ryan and asked, "Hey, how's everything with you and Lindsay?"

Ryan stared out at the waves, "Um, I don't know. It's hard to figure out how mad she is at me when she won't talk to me."

Marissa touched Ryan's shoulder, "If it's because of that stupid kiss, I can talk to her. I mean, it didn't mean anything right?"

Ryan looked at Marissa in the eye, "Right." He confirmed."

Marissa nodded and swallowed. "So, other than how tonight ended, it was fun right?"

Ryan smiled and nodded. "Yeah, we should definitely do it again."

Marissa nodded, "Maybe just the four of us could hang out soon. Or, even if Seth and Summer can't hang out, we still can right? I mean, unless Lindsay will get mad."

"We should hang out. I want to be friends again you know?"

Marissa smiled, finally feeling happy for the first time since she was at the Cohens, "Me too! I miss not being able to talk to you Ryan!"

Ryan smiled, "Me too."

The two stood silently both staring at the same spot along the horizon. All that they heard was the crashing of the waves. The silence was broken by the sound of a car engine behind them. Ryan turned around curiously to see Lindsay staring at him emptily. Lindsay shook her head, seeing Ryan standing with Marissa. Ryan didn't know what to say, his mouth dropped, and he put up his hand to get her attention, but Lindsay ignored Ryan and drove off angrily.

Marissa seeing Lindsay, spoke softly, "You can go after her Ryan. It's ok, I'm fine."

Ryan swallowed, "I could go after her, but I could also stay here with you."

Marissa looked at Ryan, surprised. "But aren't you and Lindsay…" she trailed off, not wanting to speak of them dating.

Ryan shrugged, "Maybe, but I'm not going to running after her every time she's upset. I mean, were friends now right? Lindsay knows that were friends, she shouldn't be angry."

Marissa paused. "Right." She said slowly, "Friends."

Marissa and Ryan both turned silently back towards the waves. Marissa smiled to herself thinking. Ryan had always chased after her when she was upset.