Title – What you leave behind

Rating - PG-13, just to be on the safe side.

Summary – Abby, John and Susan as teenagers. What happens when Abby moves?

Disclaimer – I don't own anyone

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I come home after my first day of school and throw my bag on the floor. I kick my shoes off and crash down on the couch. I close my eyes for a second to think about my first day at St. Pauls Highschool. It was actually quite fun to be around people my age again. I mean, I love Eric, but after the week we've already been in Minnesota by now I could really use some people my own age to hang out with. And the people at school were really nice. I don't know if I could ever like them as much as the people back at my old school, especially Susan and John, but still. I'd hang out with Jason and Kirsten who were next to me in my first class of the day, English. They told me they've been friends forever and that they didn't mind showing me around. It turned out that I actually liked them. Jason is kind of a dark, silent guy and Kirsten is a very enthusiastic and loud girl, but they soothed each other perfectly. I liked their twisted sense of humour, which was actually what got me through the day without thinking about my old friends all the time. As a conclusion I think you can say that my first day at a new school was as good as it can possibly be.

I open my eyes and look at my watch and see it's 2 o'clock. I have to be at Eric's school at 3 to pick him up since Maggie is nowhere to be found. Last week she told me she was looking for a job but I've never heard her mention that she'd found one. I have no idea where she is now. She wasn't even here when I woke up this morning, so I guess she's been out all night with some guy she doesn't even know. She's done that before so nothing new there. I'm just glad Eric hadn't noticed she wasn't home because I know it would upset him. I'm surprised Maggie has even taken the time to put us in schools. I guess she has her good moments, it's just such a shame the bad moments fade all the good ones away.

I sigh and then stand up to put my book bag in my room. I pick it up from the floor and walk into my room. I know that it is my room, but it still doesn't feel like it. I know that's fairly normal since I've only been here for one week, but still. I've painted it the same colours as my old room, dark red walls and a silver coloured door and window frames. I've tried to decorate it the same as my other room too, but since the shape of the room is different that didn't work out all too well. But I'm glad that at least all my furniture fitted in here. I'm actually quite proud at the result of my hard work because it looks nice. The only thing missing is my friends and I in it having fun like old times. I put all the pictures I could find up on the wall, so it would feel like they're here with me. The picture I found just before I was leaving, with all the heads in the circle, is hanging right above my pillow. Yesterday I lay on my bed with my head in my hands, leaning on my elbows, for like two full hours, just staring at that picture, thinking about my friends and the fun things we'd done. I miss them so much. Later I called Susan and she said she'd been looking at her copy of that picture too. Telepathy? No, I don't think so. I think we're just that good of friends. I talked to Susan for over an hour and eventually the subject of the dance came up. The dance from Friday that I've been looking forward to for God knows how long, because I was going to ask John to dance with me. That I would tell him how I feel about him and then hope for the best. Little did I know that I would never make it to that dance. The only good thing about this whole moving-mess is that John and I got together sooner then anticipated by both of us (and by Susan). The only problem is that we're together but not together. Owh, what I wouldn't give to go to that dance with John. Susan told me that John is not going. He said that couldn't handle going without me. He'd been looking forward to it just as much as I had and now neither of us is going. Life isn't fair. I miss John. I haven't talked to him since the day before I told Susan to tell him that I thought it would be better if we didn't talk. I really thought it was for the best, but more often I get the urge to call him. I'm trying to be strong because I'm sure that it's better for both of us, but I don't know how long I can keep this up. Susan told me that John is a wreck. That he isn't paying attention in school and that he's barely eating. I've caught myself at that last point too. I find myself skipping meals more and more. I can't help it, I'm just not hungry. I don't weigh myself, it's against my policy, but it's only been a week and I've noticed that my clothes are less tight then they used to be. But I can't do anything about it. I can't make myself eat if I don't feel hungry. Eric on the other hand is eating like a wolf. Wait a minute? Eric! Shit! I scold myself for loosing track of time. I throw my bag on the bed, run out of my room, search for my shoes, find them and quickly put them on and then I'm out of the door to pick Eric up from his first day at school.

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It turned out that Eric doesn't like his school at all. I feel so bad for him. I tried to talk to Maggie about it but she wouldn't listen. She's barely been home this last week and the times she was home, she was either depressed or she was just yelling at us for no apparent reason. I've done my best trying to fit into school and take care of Eric, who's been sleeping in my room on a mattress because he's still scared of this house. He's been crying himself to sleep every night and I practically had to drag him to school every morning. He hasn't made any friends and he tells me kids pick on him. I feel really bad for him, but there's not much I can do. I really wish we could just move back to Chicago but I don't get the feeling that's ever going to happen again. It's now Thursday afternoon and I'm sitting in my room doing homework when Maggie walks in.

"Abby, I'm going over to a friend's. Can you make sure Eric goes to bed at a reasonable hour? And don't go to bed too late yourself okay? Thanks! Bye!" And before I get the chance to say something I hear the front door open and close again and then I hear a car pulling out of our drive way. Well, I guess that was Maggie for today. I sigh and put my head down on my books. I don't feel like doing my homework anymore. I don't feel like doing anything anymore.

"Abby?" I hear a little voice behind me

"Yeah" I say, not lifting my head from the books, so my voice sounds muffled.

"Abby, where did Maggie go?" Eric asks me. I feel a sting in my heart when I hear Eric call his mother by her first name. I lift my head up and look at him. He's standing in my doorway.

"She's going to a friend's tonight. She'll be home late so I'll put you to bed tonight okay?"

"But Abby, you put me to bed every night" he says with a small voice.

I look at him and nod sadly. "I know, I'm sorry"

"No, it's okay. I like it better when you put me to bed anyway" he says. "I just wish that-"

"That what?" I ask curiously

Eric pulls his shoulders up and looks at his feet. "I don't know. That she'd be more like Ellen or something"

Ellen is the mother of Ben, his best friend back in Chicago. He used to love it to sleep over there because he then got put to bed by a real mother. At least, that's what he used to say to me. Then a light bulb flicks on in my head. This could either be a really good idea, or a really bad one.

"Eric, how would you like it to sleep at Ben's house tonight?" I ask him with a smile.

"For real!" he asks me with the biggest smile I have seen in the past week and a half.

"Yeah for real" I say

Eric then runs over to me and hugs me.

"Yeah, I really want that! Can you come with me Abby? We can sleep there together!"

"I'll come to Chicago with you, but I'll sleep at Susan's house okay?"

"Okay okay okay!"

"Haha, good! Now go pack your pyjama and some clean clothes and a toothbrush real quick!"

The words had barely left my mouth before Eric is in his room packing his stuff. I grab my own bag and put some stuff in it that I'm going to need and then grab a piece of paper. I think for a second what I'm going to put on it. I'm not too fond of my mother right now but I still think she has a right to know where we are. Finally I decide and write a short note.

Maggie,

We'd gone to Chicago. If you want to, you can reach me on my cell-phone

Abby and Eric

I fold it and take it into the living room and put it on the table. I then walk back into my room to grab my bag and to make sure I have enough money on me for two train tickets to Chicago. Well, it'll just have to do.

"Eric! Are you ready?"

"Yeah, I'm done" He answers as he walks towards me with a huge bag.

"Are you sure you got everything in it?" I ask him smiling

"Yeah, I think so"

"Okay, let's go then"

We walk out of the house together and I make sure that I lock the door. We then walk to the bus stop that'll take us to the train station. It's going to be a very long train ride but everything is better than staying here right now. As we sit in the bus I grab my cell-phone and send a text message to Kirsten:

Hi Kirsten. My brother and I are going back to Chicago. Don't know when I'll be back in school. Please tell the teachers I'm sick. Say hi to Jason for me. Thanks! Love, Abby

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It's about 11 o'clock at night as we arrive in Chicago. Luckily for us we didn't live very far from the L station, so we don't have to walk very far. At first I have to drop Eric off at his friend's. I'm sure Ben and Ellen will be surprised, but since I explained Maggie's situation once to Ellen, I'm sure she'll be very supportive and I'm sure Ben will like to see his friend again. And then I can finally see Susan and John again. I can't wait!

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I was right about everything. Ellen was very surprised to see us turn up at this hour, but Eric was more than welcome. I was invited to stay over there too, but Ellen understood that I wanted to go to my own friends. Eric would go to his old school tomorrow with Ben and I would be over tomorrow afternoon to talk to Ellen, because she wanted to talk about the situation because she was worried about this whole ordeal. I think that's all very understandable, but everything slips my mind the moment I see Susans house. I can't help myself and I start running. I haven't told her anything about that I was coming. She called my cell earlier but I didn't pick it up. I don't know why I didn't tell her. Maybe because I wanted it to be a surprise or because I was afraid she'd disagree with my actions. Well, I'll find out her reaction soon enough. I finally reach her door and I take a moment to catch my breath before I knock on the door. I don't want to wake the entire house, so I just hope that one of the persons will hear my knock. I wait in anticipation as I hear footsteps in the hall and I then see Susan's face through the window, looking for who she's opening the door at this hour. I see her mouth fall open and I hear her squeal when she sees me. She unlocks the door quickly and then opens it. Before I get a chance to put my bags down and hug her, she has her arms around me and pulls me to her. I've never been so happy to see her in my entire life. I let my bags fall on the ground and hug her back. When we finally let each other go she pulls me into the house and closes the door. I breath a smile of relieve. I've made it home.

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I sit on the couch with my feet pulled under my butt and with a big glass of ice-tea in my hands. I can't believe I'm here again. I haven't been here for only a week and a half and I've missed this place so much. Not to mention the person next to me, who's listening to all my stories. Of course I had to tell her about Minnesota, but she also wanted to hear the whole story about how Eric and I had gotten on a train back to Chicago. When I finish she stares at me with her mouth open.

"Owh My God, Abs! That story is so cool! I mean- I don't mean that the whole thing you're going through is cool, but, I mean- getting on a train with your little brother, running away back to your old home! That's something that only happens in movies you know!"

I take a second to think about it. Am I running away? Has is really come to that? I didn't ever think that I'd be a person to run away from home. And then everything is just too much for me and I can feel the tears falling from my eyes. All the tension of moving, leaving my friends, a new school, Eric, Maggie and then taking a train at night with my baby-brother, it's all just too much for me right now. Susan sees me crying and scoots over to me and hugs me.

"I'm sorry Abs. I didn't mean to upset you"

"Don't worry" I sniffle "It's not you. I've never cried so much in my entire life as I have in the past two weeks" I say, now smiling a little. I can't help it. I'm just too happy to be home to cry.

"Do you know who you remind me of?" Susan then asks.

"No, tell me" I say, drying my cheeks with my sleeve.

"John" Susan says in all seriousness.

I lift my head and look at Susan, and there I go again. Damn these stupid tears!

"Owh come here!" Susan says, and once again Susan is the one to comfort me. She's good at that, I think to myself. I then pull away.

"Is he really doing that bad?" I ask Susan, dreading the answer to what I know I'm responsible for.

"Well, he's been better" Susan says with a small smile. I smile back at her a little, but it's not going too great.

"I have to go see him" I say suddenly, jumping up from the couch.

"Don't you want to wait 'till morning?" Susan asks me, but she already knows my answer.

"No, I don't want to wait anymore" I say, looking directly at her. Susan looks back at me and nods.

I walk over to her and hug her again.

"I'm so glad to see you again" I whisper. "I'll be back later okay, to sleep here?"

"Sure, you can take my bike. Take your time, I'll be up" Susan tells me.

I then smile and leave Susan's house to go to John.

Inside the house, someone comes down the stairs.

"Who was that leaving?" Susan's father asks.

"Abby, she's back" Susan smiles, and then hugs her father and goes to her room with the biggest smile on her face, leaving her father behind, thinking about what Susan had just said and looking around an empty room and doubting himself: "She back?"

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Abby reaches John's house and parks Susan's bike on the side of the house, like she'd done a thousand times before, only then her legs didn't feel this heavy. She takes a moment to compose herself, straighten her hair a bit and to wipe her brow. She's raced over here, eager to see him. She still is, only it's also kind of scary. She looks at her watch: 00.05 am. I doubt he's even still awake, she thinks to herself. She's about to knock on the door when the door suddenly opens. It's John, and for the first time in two weeks they stand face to face..

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A/N: Owhh cliff-hanger! Well, not really, because you can all guess what's going to happen next.. or maybe not.. Surprise surprise.. Okay, here's a deal: The more reviews I get, the sooner I update so the sooner you'll find out what happens.. Reviews make me write faster, so keep them coming!