Chouji
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did, I might as well try ruling the world. But I do own Kathy the bakery and Riyo.
Hello! I thank you for all the reviews. Hope you enjoy this. Oh, and I put up a Naruto one shot called What Game? It was based on a dream I had...you can check it out if you want!
Warning: Maybe OOCness. Remember, no flames or I'll flame you back. Don't take this fic seriously.
"So….did the Hair Police catch Ino?" S.E. asked Riyo, her trusty security man.
"No. They're still looking. And Gaara's gone," Riyo said, sadly.
S.E. sighed.
"'Kay. Thanks Riyo," S.E. dismissed him and went up in that hard to pronounce place.
"Yum…I love donuts," S.E. said, chomping on a donut as she crossed out Yamanaka Ino on her list.
"Hello! Welcome to Know Your Stars: Naruto Style! I'm S.E., your slayer-er I mean- announcer! Today's guest is Akimichi Chouji!"
S.E. tapped her desk with her fingers and yelled in the microphone,
"I SAID CHOUJI!"
Chouji came busting through the door.
"I'm here! Got the invitation too!"
"Ah, how good. So…has Ino been stealing your chips?" S.E. asked, knowing Chouji didn't know the heck S.E. was talking about.
"Er…no?"
"Ah, but Chouji, she is. She admitted it here just yesterday," S.E. said.
Chouji looked at his bag of chips he was holding.
"I'll keep that in mind."
Chouji sat in the chair, surprisingly not breaking because this time, it was made out of steel!
"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…." S.E. said.
Chouji was still munching on chips.
"Chouji….he's so skinny and fat at the same time…"
Chouji looked at himself.
"Is that even possible?"
"You're in the headlines: CHOUJI: THE FAT AND SKINNY NINJA
"That's not a headline! It looks like something you scribbled,"–munch munch-"on a piece of paper."
"What makes you say that?" S.E. asked, looking at the flimsy piece of paper.
Munch munch.
"Chouji….he's actually the Pillsbury Dough Boy…."
"Huh? Who's that?"
S.E. slapped her head.
"The Pillsbury Dough Boy is a fat white boy made of dough."
"I'm not fat! I'm big boned!"
"Sure Pillsbury Dough Boy…sure….."
"I'm not a dough boy!"
"Oooh…do you have a donut?" S.E. asked.
"No."
"You…you ate my donuts! You're as bad as Naruto!" S.E. cried out.
"I didn't steal anyone's donuts."
"Chouji….he ate my donuts and teamed up with Naruto to steal them! Well, you're not getting my fudge donuts!" S.E. protected her secret stash of fudge donuts.
"I don't want your donuts, and you're making me hungry."
"See? See! You obviously are setting a trap to get my donuts! Well, it won't work!" S.E. laughed.
"But can't I just walk down the street and go to the bakery?" Chouji was about to leave.
"NO! THAT'S MY BAKERY! THE BAKERSARE MY MINIONS!" S.E. boomed through her microphone.
Chouji looked confused.
"Your bakery?"
"Yep! And I named it Kathy!" S.E. exclaimed.
"You're weird," Chouji said.
"Thank you for the compliment, donut stealer."
"But I don't steal donuts!"
"Yeah you do."
Munch munch
"Chouji…he's actually smarter than Shikamaru…"
"No…he's smarter than me…"
"Shikamaru is stupid, he couldn't even recite the alphabet. And he has a pineapple girlfriend," S.E. recollected.
"He does? I always thought his head was shaped like a pineapple…" Chouji murmured.
All of a sudden, Shikamaru ran through the door, followed by none other than Sasquatch.
"Chouji! Don't listen to that woman!"
"It's S.E.! S and E! See Chouji, he can't spell!"
"Hi S.E.! I followed Shikamaru and wanted to know if I can-,"
"No Lee. No," S.E. covered her face with her hands.
"Please?"
"NO! NOW OUT OR I'LL GET RIYO!" S.E. threatened.
Lee, taking a look at S.E.'s security person, walked away.
"As with you, Shikamaru. Or I'll get your ex-pineapple girlfriend!" S.E. turned to Shikamaru.
Shikamaru, not wanting to spend two more troublesome weeks in the hospital, left.
"Is that true?" Chouji asked.
S.E. nervously said,
"No."
"Oh."
S.E. sighed.
"Now you know…the donut stealing fat and skinny Pillsbury Dough Boy who is in fact smarter than Shikamaru.."
"I really think that's not true…I'm going to the bakery…I'm hungry…Shikamaru's head made me hungry.."
"You're supposed to be mad!" S.E. shouted.
Chouji left the place, heading for Kathy the bakery.
"No! Kathy is mine! The donuts are mine!" S.E. cried out.
She slouched in her chair and said slowly in her microphone,
"Now you know Akimichi Chouji…I am going to stop him to going to Kathy!" And like that, S.E. ran out the building to go to Kathy the bakery.
S.E.: I love donuts -pulls out another donut-
Chi: You do know that too much is bad for you, right?
Natasha: I'm the one that's supposed to be smart, not you Chi!
Chi: But -cries- I have a brain!
S.E.: You do? I didn't know that...