Iruka
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Darn it, Kishimoto-sama cheated and now HE owns Naruto! I will be avenged! I do own me, S.E., Riyo and the midget rebellion and Otari.
It's been a while. I just started school again (ugh) and I'm in 8th grade now! So that means school+homework equals not a lot of free time. I'll try to update as I can, which doesn't mean everyday. I'll try to keep updating maybe 2 or 3 times a week if possible.
I feel better thanks to the nice reviews I got :) THANK YOU!
List after Iruka: Tsunade, Konohamaru, Kyuubi. I'm still unsure about Hinata. We'll see :)
Warning: Some OOCness, and a smudge of Iruka/Anko if you squint your eyes and look upside down and do the hokey pokey. I really like that couple too :D
Now, on with the fic!
"Haha! Woohoo! Go me!" S.E. crossed off Mitarashi Anko on her death list and looked at the next name.
"Uhh…S.E.? Tsunade's drunk again. She won't come today. So we scheduled Iruka to come," Riyo sighed.
"…Uhh…'kay?" S.E. raised her eyebrow and dismissed Riyo. She grabbed another donut from her complimentary box of donuts sent in by her worshipers-I meant- fans.
"Hi! Welcome to Know Your Stars: Naruto Style! Today's guest would have been Tsunade, but seeing she's drunk, we have Iruka. Woohoo."
S.E. let in Iruka, having second thoughts about the place.
"I have a bad feeling about this place…."
S.E. nervously laughed.
"Ehehe…what makes you say that? Oh! Can I….have your autograph?" S.E. asked.
Iruka stepped away from her.
"Uhh…no?"
"Alright, we'll do it the hard way. SIT IN THE CHAIR AND SHOW ME YOUR INVITATION!" S.E. roared. Iruka, fearing the girl's voice, sat down. Muwhahahaha.
"Uhhh…my dog ate it."
"But Iruka! You don't have a dog!"
"Kiba's dog ate it on the way I was here."
"I knew it….he's conspiring against me! Oh…uhh…know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…"
Silence.
"Hey…Iruka?"
"What? Who are you?"
"I'm a girl. And has Anko asked you out yet?"
Iruka barely blushed, then returned to somewhat normal. (Yeah, we all know you like Anko….yeaaaaah..)
More silence. So much more silence that it could be a sign…of the Apocalypse.
"AAAAGH! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!" yelled a person in the audience.
S.E. twitched her eye and said,
"SECURITY!"
Riyo dragged the crazy idiot outside.
"Oookaee…." Iruka said, a little weirded out.
"Iruka…he's obsessed with raccoons…"
Iruka laughed.
"Uhh….no I don't."
"Explain why your name means raccoon."
"But it doesn't! It's…uhh…dolphin!" Iruka remembered.
"Suuure, Raccoon-lover."
"I hate them! They always get in my trash at night! I'LL FIND YOU!" Iruka bellowed.
S.E. widened her eyes.
"Iruka…is actually the Emeril guy's sister…"
"Huh? I don't have any siblings- I'M NOT A GIRL!"
"Iruka….his name is Imilly, which must mean raccoon…"
"I'm not a girl! And I don't like Emeril!"
Everybody gasped. Even the people in Naruto gasped. Even the rivals Gai and Kakashi gasped.
"IMILLY! HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT ABOUT YOUR OWN KIN!" S.E. scolded.
"But…I'm not related to him!" Iruka denied.
S.E. started getting out boxes of donuts, NOT tissues and started to cry.
"I'm telling on you!" S.E. said.
"But-,"
"Iruka…he does pushups everyday-,"
"How'd you know?" Iruka demanded.
"I didn't finish, Imilly. You do pushups everyday…while looking at Anko's picture…"
Iruka almost had a terrible nosebleed. This was good, because no way was S.E. going to clean it up.
"I never expected, you, Imilly, out of all people to be taking Kakashi's advice-wait a minute! If you're a girl….LESBIAN!" S.E. ran out of breath.
Iruka died. And then I had to revive him. Which took me lots of money.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT!" Iruka yelled.
"Hey, be nice Imilly, I just revived you."
"My name's not Imilly!"
"Uhuh…riiight."
"But it's not!"
"Now you know…the raccoon-lover sister of Emeril who's name means raccoon, does pushups everyday while looking at a picture of Anko and is a lesbian…whoa….who knew?"
"Take that back! You can't lie about me!" Iruka shouted.
"I have to, or else I'll lose my job. Who'll feed my poor, sad little midget rebellion?" S.E. cried, holding one of the midgets.
Iruka stepped away.
"Now you know…Iruka…."
"No they don't!"
"Attack, my midget rebellion! Get me his autograph!" S.E. made the midget rebellion go after Iruka, who ran out the door faster than you could say 'chili dog'.
"Man…I do hope they catch him…oooh! DONUT!" S.E. leapt onto a donut.
S.E.: Otari, my midget rebellion commander, have you found Iruka?
Otari: Nope. I sent out a cavalry, but no trace.
S.E.: Darn.
Chi: Look! HI OTARI!
Natasha: Here we go again...
Otari: Eeek!
Chi: MINE!
S.E.: -sweatdrop-
-Lee pops up-
Lee: Hi S.E.! I got you -opens a green bag (oooh how original)- DONUTS!
S.E.: You're not trying to hit on me are you?
Lee: -nervous laugh- N-no...can I be on the show? -bats eyes-
-shoves Lee away and eats donuts-
S.E.: Yumm...the taste of using others at your advantage...yummy!