Takes place after Kairi's rescue; contains spoilers for the end of Kingdom Hearts.

Written from Cloud's perspective.

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Ephemeral Blossoms

Akai Kitsune

Part 3: A Hundred Griefs


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The wind was cold.

I pulled the cloak I wore closer to my body, my only protection from the chilling weather. Inside the Coliseum I had been sheltered from the elements, and over time I forgot the seasons outside the vast building. My time had been mostly spent training and preparing for the inevitable battles which would occur as soon as tournaments began, and the days flew by without notice.

Growing soft while serving the Lord of the Dead, Cloud?

Zack would have laughed.

Years ago I might have gotten angry at him. Now I just tried to keep myself from giving up, after nearly ten years of missing that laughter.

He was always so good at making people laugh...

"You look pretty good in that."

"You an' me, Cloud..."

"... I won't leave you..."

Zack was always looking out for me, it seemed. He was... like a brother, someone I could really count on. I hadn't known that sort of feeling until I met him. It was like a weight, slowly crushing me over time, was suddenly lifted when he entered my life. The first time he looked at me with that stupid, easygoing grin of his...

"Just kidding!"

"Hey, what do you want to do once we reach town?"

It's funny, but I didn't realize until later... Sora had that same sort of expression. Adventurous, so full of life, so full of everything. He looked like a complete idiot when he did that, expressing his emotions so easily.

But at the same time, he was so strong...

"... you an' me..."

I hated looking back. I always told myself that; don't look to the past - it's too ugly. Just keep looking ahead, to where you're going, and eventually you'll find your path. Don't look back.

"Don't look back, Cloud!"

"... won't leave..."

"Don't forget. But try not to remember too much, either."

Looking back meant surrendering to who I was. Giving up the present and letting the old life dominate me. I couldn't do that... not anymore.

Not since I met her.

"Here, take this with you."

Yeah... things got better, then.

"You idiot, just do it!"

I wish I could go back.

"You want to protect her, don't you?"

But... isn't that looking back?

"I'm counting on you to do what's right."

Can't I be allowed one weakness?

"You won, fair and square. I made a promise."

No...

"We're friends, right?"

... I can't let that happen again.

"... so don't leave me hanging like this."

I couldn't protect them.

"Cloud... just don't... ever give in to them."

So I had to get stronger.

"The darkness... it's eating away at your heart, isn't it?"

For them... for him...

"Don't you feel it?"

For her.

"I'll always be here, Cloud."


The memories... I hated the memories the most.

They came and went without notice, as I traveled through Olympia. Memories from before the destruction of my world, from my journeys over the past nine years... anything I knew before I met Hades in that mysterious, nameless world I wandered in for who-knows how long. The memories of my friends haunted me the most.

"Long time no see, Cloud."

"Hey Spike, where do you think you're goin'?"

"Cloud!"

"Cloud..."

"......"

I closed my eyes, trying to block out what my mind insisted on plaguing me with.

"I think... I... I really like you, Cloud..."

I love you...

I could hear the voices all the time, but it didn't take long for the images - the faces - to fade away from my memories. It wasn't surprising; most of them I hadn't known long, or hadn't seen for years. It seemed as though the harder I tried to hold onto them, the more they slipped through the fingers of my mind...

But Zack stayed. And she stayed.

Aerith stayed with me.

"I'll always be here..."

The sound of her name. Her name was like starlight in the darkness of my existence, of all I had become. I whispered it sometimes at night, before I went to sleep, to remind myself. I had a mission, a reason to go on. I had promised to find her, and that was what I intended to do - despite what tried to stop me, despite how long it took. Nothing else mattered except finding my friends... my family.

My light.

"You'll find it."

Yeah...

"I'm searching too."

I know. I knew it then... I always knew. Something in his eyes... something missing.

"Don't lose sight of it..."

That's how he and I were different - that boy, Sora. He still carried that light in his eyes, in his heart. Mine... was fading.

It had been far too long since I saw it.

I suppose that's why I failed when I tried to use the darkness to aid my search. My strength and confidence in my own abilities had faded with each passing year, until I could no longer fight it. I tried to use what powers they had given me - foolishly thinking I could control it - but I was instead sucked into the void of their world, their shadows. I have no way of knowing how long I was trapped in that realm, trapped in the powerful darkness I wanted to use.

Thinking back, I realized how foolish it really was. How can one use shadows to find light?

It's impossible. Impossible to trust the darkness... even the darkness in one's own heart.

Or perhaps especially that.


I heard the sounds of battle before I saw it, as I was climbing a low mountain two days after leaving the Coliseum. Stepping above the ridge, I looked down and saw a man fighting off a numerous group of Heartless, all of them at least as large as he was. They were trying to surround him, and the man was admirably good at keeping his back open, but I could tell he wasn't doing well, or he wouldn't be in a few moments.

My eyes narrowed, as I recognized the man in front of me.

Part of my mind screamed for me to kill him. It would be so easy, and perhaps my former employer would be a little more forgiving of my failure. Even with the contract destroyed, there was no reason for me to ignore the agreement.

But there was no reason for me to follow through with it, either.

I... didn't want to betray anyone. Not again.

So, steeling myself, I drew the Buster Sword from its sheath and slid down the hill to aid Hercules.

The demi-god blinked in surprise as I slashed through three of the creatures effortlessly, continuing towards him until a path was clear. I stood at his side, not meeting his eyes, as he watched me for a moment.

"You here for the fun?" he gave me a small grin, raising his fists at the remaining Heartless.

"I don't even know why I'm here," I muttered, adjusting my grip, "But let's get this over with."

Hercules drew his own sword with a nod. "I can handle that."

We destroyed the rest of the Heartless in moments. I watched the freed hearts float into the sky, disappearing quickly, and closed my eyes against the sudden pain in my chest.

If it had been him... would I have known it, then?

"Thanks for your help," Hercules started, sliding the sword into his belt. "Are you hurt at all?"

"I'm fine," I answered, giving him a brief glance.

"That's some amazing sword. Your skill level is pretty great too. Where'd you find a thing like that?"

I pursed my lips, fighting back against the anger I felt rise at his curiousity. "It... was a gift."

"You idiot, just do it!"

Apparently Hercules did possess a brain, for he shut his mouth and didn't mention it again. We stood in silence for a long moment, until finally his expression brightened. "Hey, are you headed anywhere specific?"

I glanced at him, my expression blank. "No... not really."

I had been wandering aimlessly for days. I had no idea what was on this world. Where did he think I was going?

"In that case, why don't you travel with me?" he suggested enthusiastically. "I'm on my way to Mount Olympus to meet with my father."

I raised my eyebrow. As if I knew where that was...

"I don't know how," Hercules explained, "But Hades has somehow set free two of the Titans. Sora managed to defeat the Rock Titan, but the Ice Titan is giving all of us problems. I'm hoping to get some advice from Zeus."

"And you want an escort?"

He grinned again. "Depends on if you're expecting anything in return. But if you're trying to get somewhere, you won't be able to do it by wandering around the place. Maybe my father can help you."

I scowled. "I'm sick of making deals with gods."

"But you've already helped me," Hercules shrugged, "So why should he expect any more from you?"

That made me hesitate, though I gave him a suspicious look.

"Besides, Hades isn't a very good example of the gods. He's... a bit untrustworthy." I snorted, shaking my head, but he just laughed. "I'll take that as a yes, then!"

"Fine," I answered, "I'll go with you. But I don't want to hear any conditions when I get there. I'm not signing any more stupid contracts."

"You signed a contract with Hades?" Hercules stared at me incredulously. "What was it?"

I gazed at him for a long time, unable to answer. Finally, I turned away. "It doesn't matter now, not that it's any of your business. Let's get moving."

Without another word, the two of us began our path down the mountain side.


A few days later we reached the temple Hercules had described as his father's home - or rather, the place at which he could be summoned from the realm of the Olympian gods. I didn't really understand everything he was talking about, but I didn't particularly care either, so I didn't ask questions. The Heartless attacked us a few times on our journey, but between the demi-god and myself, they weren't much of a problem. It felt odd, fighting alongside someone again - not a one-time battle like I had with Leon, but an actual journey... I didn't feel the sort of companionship I had known before the Heartless came to my world, but the knowledge that someone else was there, watching my back... it was a good feeling. Better than I had had for ages.

Once we arrived at the temple, Hercules went inside alone while I waited for him by the gates. A few moments later, a tremendous crash sounded from within, and I heard an unfamiliar voice welcome his "son".

Hm. So Hades hadn't been lying when he said that Hercules was the son of a god. I wondered what it must be like to be separated from the place you ought to be living - but then I realized I didn't have to wonder.

So... we had something in common after all.

"Missing the obvious as usual, aren't you, Cloud."

Soon after, Hercules opened the door and waved me inside. "Come on, my father's waiting for you."

I entered the temple behind him, taking in the tapestries and statues decorating the interior. Images of thunder and storms were scattered across the walls, clouds gathered above in simple yet well-crafted forms. I wasn't exactly an art critic, but I had to admire the work someone must've put into the place. The people on that world certainly loved their gods.

I blinked. Loved, or feared? Hades suddenly came to my mind, dark and crude, the twisted smirk ever-present on his face. The Lord of the Dead would clearly be among those listed in the latter.

"So, this is the wanderer in our realm?" a voice suddenly echoed through the building, and I looked up - and up - to meet the sternly curious expression of a bearded giant seated on a great stone chair. His eyes were bright, even friendly, so I nodded in response to his question. "Good, you're honest. Do you have a name?"

"Cloud Strife."

He raised an eyebrow. "Not very talkative I see. Well that's fine. I am the God of Olympia, Zeus."

If he expected me to be impressed, I must have disappointed him. The name meant nothing to me. I nodded again, expressionless. "So I've been told."

Zeus was unruffled. "Hercules tells me you gave him a hand on his way here, fighting those Heartless creatures who have been showing up recently. This is true?"

"Yes."

"I'm glad to hear it!" he raised his voice, a grin suddenly appearing on his face. "I've also heard you're in need of some help. I may be able to do something... just what are you after, boy?"

My eyebrow twitched a little at his comment, but the thought of reaching my goal overrode any anger I might have felt. "I'm... I'm looking for someone. Someone very important to me."

"Oh? And you want me to send you to where that person might be?"

I closed my eyes, not even daring to hope. "That... was my intention..."

Zeus sighed, shaking his head regretfully. "You know, the gods of Olympia are forbidden from meddling with the affairs of other worlds. Sending you anywhere would cause a great deal of problems."

"I'm not even from this world!" I objected, my hands clenching into fists. "Why shouldn't I be able to leave this place - maybe find my real home?!"

My real family...

The deity was silent, and I grit my teeth, spinning on my heel and striding towards the door. "I knew it."

I shouldn't have expected anything. People are all the same - they want things to be easy for them. I'd learned that this was not so... even if it had taken me nearly ten years to figure it out.

Ten years of hearing nothing but "no" and "maybe" had a tendency to lower your expectations a little.

As I reached the door, Hercules' sudden plea made me halt. "Father, isn't there something you can do? Maybe send him to a place where he could find clues? Anything?"

Zeus pondered this for a moment. "Hmm... well, I suppose I could send him to Traverse Town... it seems to be the base of most inter-world travel these days..."

I whirled around, stepping closer again. "Can you really send me there?" I asked anxiously. That unfamiliar town - anywhere - had to be better than wandering around the same world I had been in for ages. I couldn't just stay in the same place forever. There was no longer anything there for me.

"I believe it's possible. With so many others shifting from world to world, the interference level is just too high for anyone to deal with. That's probably the only place you can go on your own," Zeus shrugged, giving us both a knowing smile once again.

There was a long pause, as I waited for a certain answer. There were too many conditions I had heard before to hope for a free ride.

"All right, to Traverse Town you go," Hercules' father finally nodded, raising a hand.

"What's the catch?" I asked suspiciously.

"The catch?" Zeus chuckled. "You're a paranoid boy, but quite right. I can't show you the way to whoever it is you're looking for, but I can send you to a place where you will have a purpose, I can guarantee that."

A purpose? What the hell did that mean? I already had a purpose. I didn't need - or want - anything else. But I wasn't about to argue with the one who finally agreed to help me, so I didn't object.

A soft glow emitted from Zeus' hand, shooting down from his carved throne and covering my body. I suddenly felt distanced from everything around me - the floor, the walls, even Hercules who stood beside me. I barely noticed his hand touch my arm, a grin on his face.

"Good luck," he said simply, and then everything was gone.

It was different than traveling through the darkness as I had done with Hades, or with the Heartless. There was light all around me, and it was strangely comforting. I felt no chills - thinking back, I didn't really feel anything at all until solid ground appeared beneath my feet.

I opened my eyes - wondering when I had closed them - and turned to greet the new world I had been transported to. A soft breeze brushed past, my scarlet cloak billowing out behind me. My shoulder twinged softly, alerting me of the obvious presence of Heartless in the general area as it always did... it was a constant reminder that I was still connected to them in some way. Ignoring the feeling, I looked beyond the natural scenery to what lay before me.

The first thing I noticed were vast walls, surrounding a city of some sort. A pair of huge wooden doors faced me, and a sign stood directly above, announcing my destination.

Ha... so he actually kept his word. That's a first.

Adjusting the sword at my back, more out of habit than anything else, I strode forward and opened the gates of Traverse Town.


~*~

To be continued

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Whee, chapter 3. Forgive me if either Hercules or Zeus were a little OOC; when I wrote this chapter it'd been years since I saw the movie and apparently my family never bought it like I thought we did. How irritating.

I'm still not certain of Zeus's actual title, even after finally watching the movie. Anybody know?

The text in italics are quotes from Cloud's memory, or an occasional inner voice, ^_^

The chapter title comes from a Chinese proverb. I'll quote it in the next chapter's author notes, because it'll show up then too, ^_~

~Akai Kitsune