Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers or any of its crazy characters
What if… The things you forsake are the things you'll truly need in the next battle to come along? Have you then survived one day only to die tomorrow?
Chapter Two
She supposed it was nearing two by now. The last time she'd glanced at the glowing clock it had been one… Filia blinked, her eyes piercing the dark to stare at her cracked ceiling. Perhaps she should paint it… Since she found herself spending more time staring at it than the walls or anything else for that matter. She blinked again; numbly wondering when the sun would begin its slow rise even though she knew it would start in exactly three hours, four minutes, and twenty-two seconds… This wasn't the first time she'd spent an entire night fighting off sleep waiting for the sun to rise…
Of course, this didn't mean she didn't sleep. She did sleep… Short naps usually and one really long sleep that popped up whenever her body and mind couldn't take the strain anymore. It was worth it… The sacrifice was definitely worth it compared to the torture that awaited her if she closed her eyes.
She couldn't dream. Dreams were her enemy… Not her only one, but her most dangerous. She could handle people… Handle enemies she could see and touch… Because you can hurt something you can touch because they can feel. But dreams… Dreams don't feel. She couldn't fight the dreams like a person or animal. No, the only way to fight the dreams were to not fall victim to them… And that meant less sleep.
It was worth it. Definitely worth it.
"Tell me… Is… Is it all a game to you?"
"Why, you should know the answer to that by now, Fi-chan!"
"Shut up…" She muttered, rolling over so she could place a pillow over her ears. Not that it would help. After all, the voices were inside her head. She knew that by all healthy logical reasoning, she was quite insane… Yet, would a truly insane person know they were insane? And if insanity was usually marked by a person not realizing it then was she insane or just… Just very, very weird?
"Shut up." Filia repeated and silence descended once more. Except for the slight whir sound her fan made as it spun around and around and around… She wasn't even warm… She pulled the covers closer and burrowed into the warmth of her bed. She just wished the sun would rise so she could get up… Getting up with the dawn was okay, but waking up her parents by walking around at two am was not. It was times like these she wished her brother still lived with them instead of buying his own apartment… She used to be able to tiptoe into his room and he'd calm all her fears and tell her that monsters weren't real and she'd believe him… In those few precious moments with him, she believed… Yet, even if he were here she knew she wouldn't get up and tiptoe into his room.
That would mean telling him… And she wouldn't ever tell anyone again…
Trust no one.
She blinked. When had she become such a cold, cynical person? Trust no one? She should be able to trust her parents and Val… But she couldn't… She couldn't trust them because they loved her too much and their love would betray her in the end. It wasn't their fault… It was hers… If she wasn't so… weird…
Strange. Unusual. Freakish. Insane. Mad.
She closed her eyes, trying to stop the tears that never listened to her commands.
I won't be sent away again… I won't… I'll die first.
That's the Filia I know.
Shut up.
Curled up on the couch, a cup of lukewarm tea in her hand, Filia numbly nodded as her mother went over the day's plans. The TV was on, but she wasn't really focused on it. Just some commercial… Drab, boring, depressing… The blonde maiden sipped at her tea and nodded as her mother finished the long speech… It didn't bother her that much. She was used to long, pointless speeches… Somehow… Filia blinked and pushed that thought away as her eyes left the TV to lock onto her mother's face.
"So, your brother will be here soon and then me and your father will leave. Does that sound ok, honey? We can stay if you want."
Filia blinked again then slowly shook her head, "No. I'll be fine with Val-kun…" Someone knocked and both mother and daughter looked toward the door. "That should be him…" Filia looked away first as her brother entered the house and greeted their parents. It was a regular routine for the Ryo family… After all, Filia Ryo couldn't be allowed by herself except in dire emergencies. Always watched, always guarded.
"Why can't I ever just be ALONE?"
"Because, the truth is, you wouldn't know how to handle that… You've grown used to them and their ways and for you, well they're your family, your friends, your anchor in this world. Without them, you wouldn't be just alone, you wouldn't truly be you. You care for them and love them and need them."
"How… What about you then? Who do you need?"
"…"
"So, just me and you, huh? Anything good on?" Val joined his silent sister on the couch, watching her closely. Her wide blue eyes were focused on something before her and her lips had parted. A slight crack met his ears and he continued to watch as a jagged crack danced through the delicate teacup she held, the liquid sipping out and painting her trembling hand. "Filia? Fi-chan? It's ok. Everything's ok. No one's going to hurt you. Everything is ok."
Pale lids hid those bright, yet unnaturally dark blue depths and Filia licked her lips. Val took the cup from her limp hand and left to take it in the kitchen, returning with a dishtowel. He handed it to her and she opened her eyes as she cleaned the spilt tea off her hand. Not more than thirty seconds could have passed since he'd first sat down…
"I'm sorry." She finally whispered, not meeting his gaze as she stared at her elegant fingers twisting the towel. "I don't… I just don't… I didn't get much sleep last night…"
"Nightmares?"
A jerk seemed to go through her then she shook her head. "No… Just nerves… This is my last year of school and with finals… I never did see my scores…"
Val nodded, yet the wariness didn't leave his strangely golden seeming eyes. "I can understand that. I was a basket-case! So ready to get out and see the world, live my own life!"
"That would be nice." She murmured before looking up at the TV. Val also focused his attention on the TV and a low groan escaped.
"This again? You've seen this movie a thousand times, Filia! And it's an oldie!"
She frowned, then pouted. "I like this movie."
"But why?"
"I… I don't know… I suppose… I feel as if I can relate with her."
"Oh, that explains a lot." He rolled his eyes and she gritted her teeth.
"You don't have to watch it. There are other TVs in the house. I like this movie. Eliza is a wonderful character with emotions and… She's real, not fake like all the others around her."
"That voice guy's real." Val objected, watching as his sister glared at him briefly before returning her gaze to the screen. He tried not to smile at her antics, but found he had already lost that battle.
"His name is Henry Higgins and he's real, too… Just different… He's so focused on his mission, all he cares about is the bet, doing what he's been told… He's a rogue, the one that goes against the crowd… His arguments with Eliza and hers with his are what make the movie so intriguing! He doesn't even realize she's affecting him, that she's forcing him to give up some of his ideals of love and women till the very end when they come together in a strange, yet very them sort of way. The end suits their relationship… Their love or care or affection, whatever you wish to deem it, is natural. The opposites attract fits, yet they are not opposites…"
"But I thought she was a commoner while he was like royalty."
Filia rolled her eyes, "She is a commoner, but he's not royalty. He's just very rich, which makes him a gentleman though he doesn't act it in the least. There is one opposite. They come from completely different backgrounds. His, if he truly cared, would look down upon nearly any interaction between the common and wealthy, while hers always assumes the wealthy are after something when they lower themselves to speak to a commoner. It's one of the reasons the two so instantly don't get along. Their way of upbringing.
"Eliza assumes nearly every word from his mouth is an insult, mainly in the sense of her own…um… virginity, I suppose is the best word. She's always assuming he's hinting at something else when its actually only Henry's way.
" He's a sarcastic jerk that doesn't care what those around him think or want. He wants what he wants and anyone else can be damned. Of course, he doesn't realize this because the egomaniac believes himself to be the image of the perfect gentleman. He has the mind of a toddler, believing that just because he likes something than everyone should like whatever he likes."
"I think you've seen this movie one too many times, Fi-chan. You sound as if they're real people."
She watched as Eliza began to sing one of her favorite songs, the one about Henry's death… "Oh, but they are real. In every way they embody the image of the entire 'opposites attract' ideal. And that ideal wouldn't have lived or still be alive as long as it has if it wasn't true in someway. So they are real…The world is full of Elizas and Henrys. Now, shut up. This is one of my favorite scenes."
Val watched as his sister became entranced by the movie and shook his head. He loved spending moments like these with her, when for a brief moment she became the sister he'd once known so well… It was these moments, when her face moved and actually expressed emotion and her voice raised and spoke more than three words that he knew Filia still lived… Underneath it all, his sister still lived… And one day, she'd come back to him… One day, she'd come back.
He settled farther into the couch and turned to watch 'My Fair Lady'.
Filia pulled a book out of her locker, ignoring the noisy antics of the students around her. She quietly closed the locker with a solemn snap and turned to face the hall with its crowds of laughing and groaning teenagers. It would be such a simple thing to enter the throng… She knew most of the students before her… She had laughed with them, joked with them, gone to parties, danced, shopped, and been friends with them… But everything had changed after the incident… She had thought she could return and everything would be normal… But then she had noticed the looks, the whispers, and had realized that it could never be the same.
They feared her.
And it hurt… Even though she tried so hard to hide that she still felt anything… Tried to act like such an uncaring bitch… It hurt to see friends she had known for years watch her with suspicion and wariness when she passed. She had done nothing to earn their fear! So, she had exploded a few times and yelled and screamed… But most teens got into fights. It was nothing that unnatural… And she had done that even before the incident, yet now if she got angry she could sense the fear that radiated from them. She was unpredictable, they would whisper. She's not like others… She'll hurt you… Watch out for her…
It's always the quiet ones.
"You were suppose to be my friends…" Filia found herself whispering and felt eyes on her… Three girls standing next to her locker had stopped chatting to stare at the strange blonde girl that talked to herself. Rejected. Always rejected. She stared at the ground.
"What a freak." One of the girls muttered and the others laughed.
A freak. Rejected. A rejected freak…
"Hush!" Someone had joined the three, "That's Filia Ryo, you idiots! She might hear you!"
A feared freak. Rejected because of fear.
"That's her? She's the one that burned—."
No. She wouldn't allow them to reject her.
"Shut up! She's staring at us!" The four fidgeted as cold blue eyes fell on them.
She would reject them.
Filia walked past the group, trying to push down the emotions that welled inside… The burning heat of anger and pain… Heat…
"God, she gives me the creeps."
Filia faltered, nearly tripping as she stumbled forward… It happened so quickly that she barely managed to let out a breathy scream before the pain washed away all thought and suddenly she was falling… The floor was cold and her book slid across it, landing near someone's dirty sneakers… The pain exploded behind her eyes, like always, and darkness embraced Filia.
"Look at the stars, Fi-chan… What do you see?"
"I see the stars. They are very beautiful, ne?"
"You see the stars. No poetic descriptions, no talk of guiding spirits, just stars?"
"They are beautiful without flowery prose… Many of the simple things in life are… People just try so hard to search for magnificent and rare beauties that they so often forget the ones around them…"
"And what of death, Filia? Is death beautiful?"
"I would be lying if I said no…"
She awoke to see Val sitting beside her bed, his eyes not on her but staring over her… Distant, sad eyes… His face so haggard and troubled… And in that instant, she knew… He had betrayed her once again.
"I won't." She whispered and he jerked, his eyes darting to her form.
"Fi-chan… I… We…"
"I won't!" She struggled to sit up, surprised at how weak she felt. What had happened? She remembered those girls and heat and then another migraine attack… "No. No!" She fought against his hands as he forced her back into a lying position, his eyes so sad…
"It's the only thing we can do, Filia… Its not the same place, it's a school…"
She blinked, sending tears sliding down her pale face. "No. No. No. No."
"We've tried to lie to ourselves and you for too long… Yesterday proved that we can't. You have a gift, a power, and you need help with it… I tried… Before, I told mother and father that it wasn't just headaches and accidents!" He cursed, "I told them!"
His face, his eyes… "What happened?"
"I told them. I told them that things didn't 'just happen' around you. We all know that there are people… in the world that can do things… God, things so similar to what you do… They just wouldn't listen. I told them!"
"Val, what happened?" Panic stirred within.
"Nobody listened to me. Instead, sending you to that god-awful place. Mentally unstable! You're not unstable! You're just different, Fi-chan! And if they had just gone to this place in the beginning things would be so different."
"For the love of God, what happened!"
He met her gaze, "A fire… The, your school burned… To the ground…"
"No… No. Not again. Not again." Filia clutched the sheets of her bed.
"No one was hurt. Just a few burns, surprising considering… But… They saw, Filia… They saw something leave your hands."
"No. No. No. No."
"They said it was like a pole or stream of light… It just struck and the flames…"
"A lie. Has to be a lie. Can't be true. Won't be. Can't be. Don't let it be."
"No lie… Fi-chan, listen to me." He grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to look at him. "You're special. You're one of them. Mother and father tried to ignore all the signs, but I didn't and now this… We have to, Filia. Everyone knows. You have to go. It's the law and it'll be good, Filia. You'll learn. You'll be taught how to control it and the migraines will stop and you'll be able to come home and live a normal life. With me. You can stay with me when you come back and we can go to Europe like you've always wanted."
Filia just sobbed harder, her eyes squeezed shut as she listened to her brother's frantic ramblings. Then suddenly she just stopped… Val's words died in this throat as she opened her eyes and stared up at him. "It's not true. I'm not a monster. I'm not one of them. You and mom and dad are just doing it again. Sending me away because you can't handle it. I don't care anymore, but I won't let your lies affect me." She jerked away and turned her head toward the wall. "Go away."
"Filia, it's not a lie. Please, you have to—."
"Leave me alone, Val. Just go away."
He did the only thing his numb mind would allow him to do… He left her alone.
Her eyes looked outward, taking in the blood-stained earth that surrounded them. Bodies that had once encased the souls of people she'd loved covered the ground. Her golden armor was stained black and red, her hair matted and wild around her, and her mouth was set in a thin line as she stared. The earth had been ravaged, upturned and burned, and it spread out before her, a wasteland of death. She brought her gaze toward her hand that held the mace she'd once loved so dearly, staring at the dull blackness of it… Its shine dulled by the blood that stained its spikes.
"Captain…?"
She ignored the voice as she focused her eyes on her hands now… They were red and black, the blood still slick. She licked her lips and tasted blood. Blood everywhere… A sea of blood. She looked up and saw something in the distance… High above her and far away, yet she knew… A cape of night flowed behind the figure, a staff clutched in one hand in much the same way she held her mace. She could feel his eyes on her even though she couldn't see him clearly. Did he feel remorse, guilt, pride, joy, a sick pleasure from this scene?
Filia looked away and surveyed the field of battle. Such silence…
"Captain?"
Yet, the scent of blood.
"Twenty-four hundred casualties." She announced to the nearly cowering soldier that had strove to gain her attention. "It could have been much, much worse…"
"Ma'am!" He was shocked by her statement. "Worse! All those men and women are dead! How could it have been worse!"
She frowned as she leveled cold sapphires at him. "A demon of demons was among them." The soldier blanched as she continued on ruthlessly. "The Lord Beastmaster's pup was with them. If he had been ordered to fight, none of us would be standing here. He would have destroyed us with a mere wave of his hand… Or perhaps he would've played with us first, his black energy wrapping around our souls and ripping them free, our screams a serenade to his ears. Oh, it could've been much worse. As it is, we have destroyed at least a thousand of their own." She tightened her grip on her mace and lifted it, swinging it so it rested against her shoulder. "Regroup, we're returning to the main camp."
"Yes, ma'am…" The soldier watched her, his whispered words just barely reaching her sensitive ears. "That's just… She's not human…"
Filia Ul Copt smiled grimly, "Very correct. I am not human…" She looked upward, her back toward the figure that watched her in the distance.
"Lookie, lookie, a newbie." A voice casually remarked from its seating position, perched rather dangerously on the railing of a balcony. Eyes fiery red watched, as a gold sedan parked before the large mansion, and a family of four exited. "Another wanna-be spoon bender?"
"Don't be cruel, Miss Lina." Amelia Saillune replied, joining her friend in watching the family below. "You know, they don't just let anyone in here…"
"They let Martina in."
A small iron table, chic yet simple, adorned the middle of the balcony, allowing room for the group of teens to sit or stand. Its smooth surface was covered with various empty snack food containers, three notebooks, and one sleeping blonde. Those within knew the figures occupying the balcony, as The Slayers. A close-knit group of friends, friendly enough, yet… Even stranger than most of the mansion's occupants, which was saying a lot when one considered what type of place it was.
Hidden in the sparse shadows, Zelgadiss's unusual, yet not unpleasant features were still obvious to his companions. He ran one blue-tinted hand through wiry hair, not even glancing up at Amelia and Lina's observations. His own attention was focused on the open notebook before him, various theories and equations neatly printed out. Beside him Gourry snored away, happily oblivious to all around him, even as Sylphiel tried to politely wake him up so she could retrieve her own book from beneath his blonde head.
"She only stayed a month, Lina."
"Long enough." Lina snapped, eyeing the scene below. "Which one?"
Amelia leaned over, "Maybe both."
"Coconuts…" Gourry sleepily interjected, finally lifting his head off Sylphiel's notebook. He blinked sleepily at the gang, saved from a rash beating by the sudden yells from below.
"Don't touch me!"
Instinctively, both males jerked to their feet and soon they all were leaning over, watching as a blonde girl screamed at the man with green hair. The man's words went unheard, but he reached for her, causing her to jerk away. The girl's shouts brought the parents around, their hands full of suitcases and bags. "Stop it! Get away!"
"FILIA!"
The green man had grabbed the girl and was shaking her, "I'm not afraid, Filia! I'm not! I know…" His next words were too soft to be heard from so high with normal hearing, but Zelgadiss's enhanced hearing picked up the whispered words on the soft breeze. "I know you want me to be. I know you're scared… Of this, of what you can do, of last time… But I swear to you, this isn't the same place and you are still Filia. The same Fi-chan," he paused to brush a tear aside, "that pestered me to play dolls and tea party when we were younger. You would never hurt me."
"Val…" She swallowed and looked away, "It's better if you let me hate you. It makes it hurt less."
"Then hate me."
"The Ryos, I presume?" The new addition was a tall, purple-haired woman, her stance sure and confident as she approached the family… And it was this that ended the little spy game the five above were enjoying so much.
"S-s-sis!" Lina managed to stutter before bolting off the balcony and inside, grabbing Gourry as she did. The rest followed, Amelia trying to convince the redhead not to fear Miss Luna, while Zelgadiss merely picked up his material and left—going in the opposite direction of the terrified Lina.
Only Sylphiel remained behind, her sweet gaze meeting Luna's even from so far away. She smiled once before turning and also entering the house, heading in a direction different from her friends.
The room Ms. Luna Inverse had shown Filia Ryo was slightly bigger than her one at home… The bed was plain, her cover and blankets lying in a neat pile near her feet, along with the rest of her bags. She had been standing in the same position for nearly an hour and a half. Her parents had left three hours ago, after receiving a pleasant, if somewhat strict tour of the large building. She had barely paid attention thus meaning as soon as she stepped outside she would become lost within the catacombs of the mansion turned school.
A school… That's what they called it this time. A school to teach her how to control her supposed powers. At least, last time they had honestly called it an asylum.
A quiet knock interrupted the silence Filia had strained to fill both her room and mind with. The knock was repeated, once again softly and daintily, then louder… Filia remained expressionless and still, as the door finally opened revealing Ms. Luna and a girl. "Filia Ryo, this is Sylphiel. Come with us." The woman turned, completely expecting the young woman to follow.
For a minute, Filia stood there, her eyes on but not really seeing the girl waiting for her. She was pretty wearing a modest yet close-fitting purple sweater and jeans, her long purplish hair pulled back with a headband. But there was something utterly commanding in Luna's tone, something strangely kind, yet brooking no arguments and suddenly Filia found her feet moving past the girl and down the hall, soon only a step behind.
"I am sure that you are wondering what exactly we do here. We teach. We teach people with gifts like your own how to use them and harness them. Some stay to learn total control, those who wish to continue using their powers while others merely learn the control necessary to not use them." They entered a large room, various tables and desks situated here and there, most accompanied with a computer. A wall of shelving housed books that at one time would've interested Filia, but now merely received a surreptitious glance. Luna continued walking, leading both girls to a smaller adjoining room. Painted gray and with little decoration other than a large blue mat leaning against the far right wall, it seemed to serve little purpose in Filia's mind…
"To do that, we have to know what to train you for. I introduced Sylphiel, now for why she is here." Luna nodded toward the girl…
Sylphiel smiled sweetly, "Hello, Miss Ryo."
"What are you going to do?" Filia asked archly, suspicious of the innocent-seeming Sylphiel and self-confident Luna.
"Sylphiel reads auras. She can tell how powerful a person is, if they hold any power by simply being in the same room with them. With her help, we'll be able to assign the proper mentor to you and get you ready to learn control. Now, Sylphiel?"
Luna fully expected an answer, however all she received was a confused expression from the girl. A slight glow seemed to be emanating from Sylphiel, yet the air around Filia was empty as Sylphiel reached out blindly, searching for any sign… Of anything… Yet, there was nothing there. The girl standing before her was as normal seeming, as…well…any normal human not living there.
"Miss… I don't… There's nothing there."
Filia's eyes widened, then slowly she smiled. "I told my parents. I tried telling you when I first arrived. There's nothing unusual about me. No powers, no gifts."
Luna frowned, her eyes hidden by long bangs, as she eyed the blonde before her. If it was true… But… She had so been hoping…
The smile widened, as Filia studied her own hands. Perhaps she was normal… Maybe it hadn't been her, but somebody near her or even a faulty gas line… Whatever it was, she was free. These people had set her free. If they couldn't sense anything then there couldn't be anything there. Maybe even touch without worrying…
No… She wasn't stupid. Maybe they didn't sense anything, but something was there. That crawling, seeping insanity that burned… It would always be there… The smile slowly faded, her hands falling as if they weren't her own… Just falling and swinging into place…
And by mere accident, a shred of fate or destiny, her falling hand grazed against Sylphiel's…
The explosion threw Sylphiel back… Or at least that was how it felt… Raw power, twisting and seething, brighter than any light she'd ever seen, brighter than the sun… Colors and a touch of satin and steel and so bright, so strong. Hidden away within…
Sylphiel gasped, the reaction taking a mere second, but passing like a lifetime before her mind's eye. "She's…" She swallowed, glancing at Miss Luna. "She's hidden it inside."
"Inside?"
"What do you mean? I don't have anything inside."
"I'm sorry, Miss Ryo. Inside, Miss Luna. I can only feel it through skin contact, like Xelloss-san."
Luna watched as Filia Ryo shook her head, her mouth moving as she debated with them, disbelieving as the truth was revealed…
And something akin to hope died within Filia's blue eyes.
She was a freak.
Eyes followed Filia, as she wandered through the halls of the expansive school. Students just hanging out stopped to watch her pass and the emotions she felt in their gazes forced the girl to wander deeper into the building… There was no fear. The people around her were merely curious, even friendly… She wasn't used to people her age looking at her like that… And in her already fragile state of mind, it was more than she could take.
Filia Ryo had grown used to people fearing her, grown used to the fact that she was quite insane and held a dangerous curse. She was not used to other people realizing this, other people knowing and not fearing because they were the same… But then again they weren't the same, now were they?
Even in a school of freaks, I'm still different…
"She's hidden it inside."
According to Luna, only one other student had been able to accomplish what Filia had managed to do and that was a man by the name of Xelloss Metallium. Whatever this 'power' was, she had somehow forced it within her body, instead of allowing it to merely form around her thus creating an aura. Such raw power was dangerous held inside and, as Luna had explained, was most likely the reason for Filia's painful headaches whenever it was unleashed.
Because of this, Luna knew the perfect and only mentor available for her, the same woman that had trained Xelloss, his mother, Zelas Metallium.
Which meant she had to stay in this place. Trapped again with no escape… Because even if she did leave, where would she go? Her parents would just send her right back if she tried to return home and Val would probably do the same, feeling that this was for her own good… She had seventy dollars and some spare change saved, but that wouldn't get her very far.
So, she was trapped.
But perhaps…
Perhaps it was time to accept the fact that she wasn't normal and never would be. Accept and learn whatever this Zelas had to teach and then leave. Luna had said not everyone stayed to learn how to actually use the supposed 'gifts', just mere control was required and Filia definitely didn't want to learn how to use what she considered a curse… But if they could teach her how to control, teach her how to be normal then maybe she could leave one day and continue her life, a normal life that didn't include painful headaches, strange fire-beams, or voices that haunted her mind.
Of course, the voices might not be related… She hadn't mentioned them to her parents or Luna. It was bad enough that she was forced to go to a school to learn how to control freakish powers, she didn't need to add in her sudden bursts of insanity. The voices had to remain a secret… No one could know about them or the nightmares… No one.
Now, that is a secret!
A frown marred her features, as she hurried through the building, her eyes shying away from the other students'. She couldn't handle this. So many people, all freaks like her… All of them watching her with such understanding and caring. She couldn't allow herself to believe any of it, to fall victim to the lies of other humans. Not anymore, not after this last abandonment by her family.
Her feet carried her around corner after corner, leading her deeper into the maze-like building, as her eyes continued to desperately seek signs of her new room. Its foreign silence was what her mind needed now… She just wanted to sink into the silence, close her eyes and disappear into the nothingness it offered. To run away from the terrible thing inside of her and hide from the constant voices that never gave her peace. To become nothing and always be nothing, with no worries, no pain, no emptiness…
No fear.
Hard stone brought her back to the reality of her situation, away from the great relief of silence and nothingness. The collision into rock shot brief shocks of pain throughout her body, giving her another escape from her twisted mind.
Until her gaze traveled toward the object responsible for the pain.
Deep, blue eyes, like the depths of some ancient sea, stared down at her from the shadows of a tan hood. Eyes of ocean blue that matched the skin glimpsed within the hood. Gray stone protruded here and there from his features, pebbles lining near his eyes, while hair too thick and with the gleam of metal hung around his face, shifting to hide one eye from view. He was a vision of fantasy and imagination—old magicks brought to life in a world of science. There was something oddly beautiful and terrible about the creature before her, something that pulled at her—as if he was the embodiment of the harsh, empty emotions that flowed within her.
Then it was hidden, as gloved hands pulled a flap of fabric across his face, so only those blue eyes stared down at her. "Watch where you're going."
She hadn't expected it to speak, especially with a voice so… Human. All masculine and stern, almost melodic and poetic, if you took away the brooding anger beneath the words. But it was human, so human a part of her wanted to cry for the wonder of it all… And the horror that perhaps this creature wasn't an it, but a human being… Beneath all that rock and wire…
A human trapped with a curse of his own making.
"I wanted to be stronger, always stronger."
Filia shook her head, blonde locks flying as the voices started once again. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
"Perhaps you would like a photo. Something to gawk at when I'm not here."
He was speaking again, that harsh anger growing with every word as she continued to watch him without speaking. Then she met his gaze and his next words just stopped… "I…" Her mouth opened, but the voices were screaming now—so loud and so many that she couldn't make anything out. "I…"
"STRONGER--"
"POOR MIST--"
"NEVER DESERVED--"
"CURSED, FOREVER CURSED"
"NO CURE IN SIGHT--"
"STRONG--"
"Oh, God!" Filia gasped, her knees buckling under the pressure of so much. They wouldn't stop, they just kept talking and talking and screaming and shouting till she couldn't hear her own self anymore and it hurt and it was more terrible than anything she had ever experienced before because they had always shut up before--Oh why wouldn't they shut up!
She reached out blindly and grabbed the rock man's shirt, catching her fall by slumping against his shocked form. His narrowed eyes had widened now, watching her with surprise and confusion—with a tinge of embarrassment as he was forced to hold her up to keep her from ripping his clothes.
"Zel!"
"Mister Zelgadiss! What are you doing!"
Zelgadiss…
His name was Zelgadiss…
And the voices stopped.