Takes place after Kairi's
rescue; contains spoilers for the end of Kingdom Hearts.
Written from Cloud's perspective.
~*~
Ephemeral Blossoms
Part 6: Eyes Closed to Fate
Akai Kitsune
~*~*~
We didn't see Zack at Seventh Heaven for nearly a week. I
spent those days working in the bar and learning as much as I possibly could
about the city and the SOLDIER organization. I didn't like to admit how lost I was in
Midgar, so far away from home, and how dependent I was on Tifa and her uncle.
But they were more than helpful - I hadn't expected such a strong support when I
left Nibelheim. To be honest, I hadn't even thought about meeting Tifa. Midgar
was just too big.
My luck was changing, or so it seemed. Things were looking up.
When Zack came back, he was grinning as usual. That was nothing new, except that
this time he went straight to me, clutching a folded up piece of paper in his
hands.
"What's going on?" I asked, wary of his over-cheerfulness.
Tifa had always used the same expression when playing some sort of prank -
something I had begun to anticipate more and more since I started living with
her.
He handed me the paper, patting my shoulder. "Take a look, kid. I think you'll
like what you see."
Spurred on by his encouragement, I quickly tugged open the sheet and gazed at
the words it contained, eyes widening. "SOL... is this a joke, Zack?!"
"Nope," Zack laughed, crossing his arms and leaning against
the wall. "New SOLDIER applications are being accepted three months from now.
You came at a good time."
"Three months..." I whispered, hands tightening on the
corners of the page. "Wait - don't I need some sort of training for this? I
can't just show up and expect them to let me join!"
"True," Zack nodded thoughtfully, giving me a long look.
"That's why we need to get started right away."
"We?"
"Well, you want to get stronger, don't you?" he asked,
draping an arm over my shoulder. "You've gotta start somewhere."
I stared up at him incredulously catching on to his implied message. "You...
you are going to train me?!"
Zack smirked. "I see Tifa's been telling stories about me again." He glanced
past me and gave the girl giggling behind the bar a meaningful look. "You have,
haven't you?"
Tifa blinked innocently. "Why Mr. Zack, I would never dream of doing that. Who
you are and what you do for a living is none of anyone's business!"
The older man just laughed again. "You are a girl after a man's own heart, Tifa.
Nothing gets past you." He turned back to me, his expression mirthful. "Yeah, I
think that you would really do well in SOLDIER, kid. You've got potential, even
if I'm the only one who sees it. Besides, I'm probably your only chance. You
don't have the money to hire a trainer good enough to get you into the
program... especially not in three months."
"I'm not complaining," I murmured. "I just... why are you
doing this for me? You don't even know me..." And no one who ever knew me well
even offered their help... "... so why?"
Zack's expression sobered, and he shrugged. "Hey, I don't have a clue. I guess I
can see a little bit of myself in you - a scrawny kid from some backwater town,
following a silly dream to join SOLDIER and get stronger. I had a few people
helping me back then, and... well, it'd be nice to be on the other end of the
rope for once."
I couldn't think of a reply; nothing that came to mind would fully convey the
deep sense of gratefulness I felt, then. For the first time in years, I really
felt like I had a friend.
Half an hour later, I had my first lesson in the fine art of swordsmanship,
under the calm, patient teachings of the best SOLDIER in Midgar - no matter what
the people might say about Sephiroth.
Zack was a stern master. He expected nothing but the best
from me, something I was more than willing to give if I had it in me. If he felt
I could do better I earned a quick reprimand, but at the same time he understood
my limits and never asked more of me than he thought I could handle. I tried not
to complain, even when he pushed me more than I liked. I knew he was doing all
he could to get me into SOLDIER, and I wasn't about to waste all his - and my -
hard work. Three months isn't exactly a long time to learn all it would take to
make me a real warrior like Zack was.
I still couldn't get over the fact that the Zack of Shinra's elite
SOLDIERs was teaching me how to fight. I didn't know much about SOLDIER, but
everyone knew the name of the strongest man in Midgar. Stories about Sephiroth's
prowess reached all the way into the mountains of Nibel, and the men who worked
under him were always spoken of in quiet, wary tones. That was the reality of
life in those days - the strong were always dangerous, even to the people they
were supposed to protect.
My mother almost cried the first time I told her I was going to Midgar to become
a SOLDIER.
Why would anyone want to become something so loathed and feared? I
wondered sometimes. Why should I become strong just so more people will hate
me?
But still... the dream persisted. The dream that someday I could be one of
them... one of the men who walk this world wearing the SOLDIER insignia proudly.
After meeting Zack, I finally understood why I still wanted to join
SOLDIER. Whenever I was with him, people would stop and stare, the look of awe
and respect glittering all too visibly in their eyes. Zack was strong, he was
well-known; the people knew who he was and they loved him.
I didn't need popularity. I didn't even need that sort of admiration.
But... to be acknowledged... to have my existence be given a real reason...
That was why SOLDIER was so important to me.
Zack knew it. He must have seen it in my eyes when we trained - or even before
he took me in as his student - otherwise he would never have agreed to help me.
I wondered if he had been anything like me when he first joined the army... that
thought gave me hope that maybe someday, I could be as great as he was.
I worked harder in those three months than I had worked for my entire life. By
night I helped Tifa and her uncle in the bar, earning my room doing odd jobs
around the building, and every afternoon I was in the nearby junkyard training
with the sword Zack had given me. Sometimes Zack would be there with me,
supervising, giving tips and encouragement, and sometimes I would be alone, when
he was away on missions. We were together so often I almost forgot that he
did still have a job, and all the responsibilities that came with it. After
a while the glory of his position faded to the point where he was no long Zack,
the great SOLDIER first-class, in my mind.
He was Zack, my teacher, my best friend.
And he was the only one who treated me with any real respect.
I vowed that I would get into SOLDIER... if only because he knew that I
could.
I was training in my usual spot, sweat streaming down my face
as I worked through my daily exercises, when Zack suddenly appeared with the
giant broadsword strapped across his back. I glanced at him, since I hadn't
expected him that day, and immediately had to bring up my sword in defense as he
drew his weapon and charged towards me.
My heart thrummed loudly in my chest. A spar? Zack wanted to spar with
me?!
He grinned at me, moving quickly through a number of familiar positions of
attack. Most of our previous battles had been step-by-step formations, regulated
movements until I adjusted to the feel of the blade. Zack himself had admitted
he wanted to spar freely more often, but there was apparently trouble brewing
outside the city, and his help was needed in keeping it under control. He didn't
elaborate on those cryptic words, but I understood his meaning. Work before
play, and in the eyes of Shinra, I was nothing more than I minor distraction for
Zack.
This battle, though, was completely free of his usual restraint. I had to think
carefully - but quickly - with each of his moves, whether to defend, parry,
attack... it was a real fight for once. It didn't matter that neither of us were
trying to harm the other; the very idea that Zack felt confident enough in my
abilities to test me this way was enough to give me the strength to match him.
Or perhaps not match him, but at least be at a level where he was pleased by my
performance. And when he finally stepped back and sheathed his sword, the smile
on his face told me I had succeeded.
"Nice job, Cloud," he finally nodded his approval, speaking
slowly to regulate his breathing. I let myself fall to the ground, utterly
drained by the fight.
"R-really?" I gasped, leaning back against a stray bench
behind me.
"Do I ever lie?" Zack quipped, and I just smiled.
"You've got an evil sense of humour."
Zack laughed. "Damn, you know me too well. Okay, if you're in a good mood - and
if you stop tearing down your poor coach here - I might give you the news I
originally meant to deliver."
My curiousity piqued, I glanced over at him, waiting patiently for him to
continue.
"I knew that would get your attention," Zack chuckled
knowingly, crouching down beside me. "What would you say if I finally have a set
date for the SOLDIER physical testing?"
My eyes widened, and I blurted, "When?!"
"Chill!" Zack laughed again, patting my shoulder. "Not until
next week. I have a ton of paperwork for you to fill out - mostly mental testing
and a whole lot of psycho-babble which will look like a load of crap to you -
but the big day is none other than six days from now."
Six days... six days, and I would find out if I had what it took be a SOLDIER.
"Am..." I halted, suddenly uneasy. "Am I ready for it, Zack?"
He smiled tightly. "I think that with lots of training, you'd make a good
soldier, kid."
"I haven't exactly had lots of training," I admitted, though
it pained me to say. Three months was nothing compared to the years that Zack
must've been through to get as good as he was.
Zack just shook his head. "Don't worry so much, Cloud. Just do what you've
always done, all right? Show them what you showed me today. I can't control what
the Shinra execs will think of you, but I can tell you now that I bet you'll be
the best of the bunch that are trying out."
It wasn't a real answer - not that Zack ever really gave any - but it was enough
for me. I vowed then and there to give it my all.
Zack was right. The paperwork was hell, and scarcely
any of it made sense to me, but I managed to work my way through it in a few
hours. Zack looked over it for me, and though he assured me my answers were
fine, I was still uncertain of the real purpose of most of the questions.
The rest of the time was spent in last-minute preparation for the physical
testing. Zack and I sparred every day when he could spare a few hours, and every
time he pushed me as far as he could. I slowly began to develop my own style
against him, though he warned me not to become too comfortable with fighting one
way.
"You have to prepare for every opponent," he said sternly,
during a well-deserved break between spars one day, "Because you never know
who'll be facing off with you. A tactic that works well enough with me might be
the death of you against someone else."
To prove his point, Zack spent the next half hour mopping the floor with me,
using a completely different sword style than before.
"A little sneak preview of General Sephiroth's abilities," he
winked at me, the familiar grin appearing on his face. "When you've worked with
him as long as I have, you pick a few things up."
All I could do was groan. That was so like Zack; always changing, yet always the
same. It was enough to drive a person mad.
But he never gave up on me... he never left me.
When the day finally came, I almost felt ready. Tifa was a ball of nerves,
dancing around the bar like a hummingbird. Her uncle told me straight out the
night before to forget working at the bar and get a full night's sleep - and
even I had to agree that I would need it.
Early that morning, Zack visited the bar with a small bundle tucked under his
arm.
"Now I need an escort?" I asked incredulously.
Zack grinned. "What, I can't walk my prized student to the door?" He laughed at
my skeptical expression. "Okay okay, fine. I'm actually on my way there for a
mission. I just thought I'd give you something beforehand."
Tifa hopped from one foot to another for a moment, then darted off to the bar.
"I'll get you a drink," she whispered shakily.
We watched her go, and Zack jerked a thumb in her direction when she was out of
earshot. "Geez kid, she's more nervous than you are!"
"Tell me about it," I chuckled weakly, a lump appearing in my
throat. Maybe I wasn't as relaxed as I thought...
"When you go for screening," Zack suddenly spoke seriously,
"Wear this."
I looked down at the bundle of clothing he handed to me, slowly unfolding it to
reveal a sleeveless indigo sweater and baggy pants of the same colour. I raised
an eyebrow at him.
"Don't worry," he grinned, "They look better with the rest of
the uniform. But trust me on this: the men who watch you will notice how your
movements aren't restrained. True, they'll be able to see those scrawny arms of
yours-" he cuffed me playfully on the shoulder, and I scowled. "But they'll also
see how strong you are with so little muscle. They'll be imagining what sort of
strength you'd have when you're fully trained."
I closed my eyes, envisioning it in my head. A group of stern generals, greedy
for the SOLDIERs of the future... and if I was one of them...
"Thanks Zack," I murmured, tucking the clothes under my arm.
"I'll wear them."
He said nothing, patting me on the shoulder encouragingly. After a moment, I
stood and left for my room to change. Truthfully I was grateful - I had no idea
what a SOLDIER trainee was supposed to wear, and I was so focused on my
training, the thought never came to mind until the day arrived.
The uniform fit well enough, and after performing a few experimental exercises,
I discovered that Zack had been exactly right; I was faster than before, and
they were more comfortable for combat than anything else I owned.
"Right as usual," I muttered, but I couldn't withhold the
smile.
Zack was visibly pleased when I came down the stairs wearing the clothes, and he
said as much. "You look pretty good in that, Cloud!"
I grimaced. "I feel like a clown in these pants..."
"You'll get used to them," he smirked. "Besides, they're part
of the official SOLDIER uniform."
"WHAT?"
"I can pull a few strings, you know."
I wanted to strangle that damn grin off his face, and I might have if I hadn't
been so happy.
Official uniform of SOLDIER!
With Zack behind me, I felt as if nothing could hold me back. I was as good as
there.
I tried not to let the examiners see how nervous I was, but
it seemed as though they knew; it was hard not to, since every other applicant
was just as psyched as I was. I shouldn't have been surprised that the average
age of my peers was close to my own, since SOLDIERs are better trained from
youth to adulthood. At least, that was what Zack told me.
"Don't worry about being small," he grinned at me, though I
wasn't sure if he was trying to reassure me or get me angry by poking fun at my
size yet again. "Most of the guys there will be around your age. The important
thing is to show them all what you've got."
As soon as I was allowed to unsheathe my sword, I did show them... I showed them
all I had and more. I showed them what I had shown Zack in that first spar in
the junkyard - that I could handle anything they threw at me, that I would
not take no for an answer.
Apparently I made an impression. I was accepted into the second stage of the
SOLDIER testing phases: Mako compatibility.
Zack hadn't given me many pointers on this part. Mako seemed to cause him some
uneasiness, and even he couldn't shake it off with a casual laugh. I myself had
lived in a town where Mako spewed from the plant up the mountain all my life, so
I assumed I was used to a small amount of exposure.
"Raw Mako, though," Zack had correctly me thoughtfully, "Now
that is something to be wary of. SOLDIERs have to be carefully tested to ensure
that their bodies are suited to take the pressure of Mako-induced changes."
"What sort of changes?" I asked, wary and curious at the same
time.
Zack grinned. "Nothing serious. You don't grow extra limbs or anything. It's
just... different. It's hard to explain. Like you've been training really hard
and your muscles feel bigger, stronger... Mako can do that to you."
Stronger... that was the goal, wasn't it?
I wanted to become stronger, no matter what.
So when one of the examiners asked me if I was prepared to undergo the
experimental Mako testing, I agreed without hesitation.
And that was what doomed me, in the end.
"Cloud Strife, was it?"
I nodded stiffly to the man standing before me, wary of the cold expression he
wore, jaded with disinterest. He flipped through the pages on his desk,
obviously taking his time as he read my personal file and application sheets.
"A word of advice, Strife - when someone asks you a question,
don't expect them to look at you for an answer."
"Yes sir," I replied quietly, lifting my chin to meet his
gaze. He raised an eyebrow at me but said nothing.
I few more moments passed, leaving me in agonizing silence, until he spoke
again. "Your record isn't extraordinary, but it's decent. So, you have been
training with a SOLDIER 1st-class over the past few months?"
"Yes sir."
"That's quite interesting." Silence once again. I tried very
hard not to swallow the growing lump in my throat, fearful that it would
vocalize my nervousness. "How did you find the Mako treatment?"
I couldn't withhold a grimace. "It was... difficult, sir."
Difficult. Zack hadn't warned me about it - how the Mako would close in around
me when they sealed the glass case I stood within, contaminating the air and
seeping into my skin almost painfully. He hadn't told me that I would feel a
million invisible needles piercing my body, blinding me, numbing my mind and
shattering my sanity for even the briefest of instances -
"Yet your results were considerably good," the man continued,
rubbing his chin thoughtfully.
My head shot up in surprise. "R-really?"
He nodded, pursing his lips. "To be honest, I've never seen anyone as suited for
Mako treatment as you, Strife."
I stared at him incredulously, unable to respond. Finally, my body was actually
good for something other than the occasional insult.
"I'll recommend you to our Mako specialist for the final
stage of psychological and physical testing," the man continued, shuffling the
pages together in a tone that indicated the meeting was over. "You'll remain in
the trainee barracks for a few days until I'm certain of the date. Ask my
secretary for the location on your way out."
"Yes sir," I managed, rising and fumbling through a salute.
"Thank you."
He waved me away, messaging his secretary for the next applicant. I exited the
office in a daze.
Mako specialist...? Final testing stage?
I was there-! I was finally...
One step away from becoming a true SOLDIER...
Three days later I received a notice informing me that I was to meet with the
Mako specialist that very day at 1400 hours. I scanned the letter twice before I
caught the words contained in the scribbled signature at the bottom.
Professor Hojo.
~*~
And who saw that one coming? ^_^
Those of you who have taken any sort of psychology test will probably understand
what poor Cloud was going through during HIS questioning. Some of the stuff they
put in those things... oi. It's really bizarre...
Next chapter: Cloud's first encounter with Hojo ends up as more than he
bargained for. And *gasp* someone we've been waiting for finally makes an
appearance! But who have we been waiting for is the question, ^_~
Reviewer Responses:
Koorino Megumi: You have to know how happy I am that you're reading this, ^_^ Well, you probably already do know, but hey, I like to say it. Thanks so much for being so diligent about your comments!
Naela: *waves* Glad you like it! I'll have it uploaded to the Keyhole ASAP. And that quote is my fave too, I have to admit. I love Zack, ^^;;
Rainchaser: Eeek! I totally didn't even realize that! I'll have to fix that, ^^;; I put that in for two reasons, though - a) Zack is a military man, so he's used to calling people by their last names, and b) Zack doesn't know Cloud well enough to start off on a first-name basis. Thanks for pointing out that little mistake! But I'm glad you understand it well enough, ^_^