Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers!
A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews! I really appreciate it! And you're right, Soobin---fire really is more of Lina's thing than Filia's, but when I was writing that scene I had that image of Filia from that episode where they're underground and she starts blasting all the falling rocks with laser breaths---and the whole burning down thing actually has a reason behind it which will eventually get explained Thanks so much for your reviews, your input is what's convincing me to continue on :)
Chapter Three
What if… your salvation lied in the hands of the devil? Have you found deliverance only to sacrifice your soul to hell?
Amelia had never once imagined that she'd see Zelgadiss holding another woman, especially when she hadn't even been able to overcome her own shyness and his, well, Zelgadiss-ness to be in that position. She had never imagined the possibility nor did she like the idea…
So, the scene of Mister Zelgadiss gripping a tall, pretty blonde was not one that she met with much joy… or understanding… or really much of anything other than an abundant amount of shock and despair… Could he have fallen in love with someone else? Would he never realize how she felt for him… would he never care… Would this blonde woman take away all her dreams and fantasies of love and happiness with her Stone Prince?
Not if she had something to say about it.
"Mister Zelgadiss! What are you doing?" The exclamation was followed by Zelgadiss releasing the woman, a gasp of surprise escaping her lips as she met with the hard floor. Lina was already beside the chimera, her eyes fiery red as she confronted the man.
"What the hell do you think you're doing, Zel?ཀ Amelia's right there and you're playing hanky with some bimbo in the hall?ཀ You're this far from a fireball, Zel—just this far, if you don't start some fast explaining."
"Red hair…"
"Huh?"
The blonde was still on her knees, but she was staring at Lina now. Her eyes focusing on the fiery sheen of red hair that surrounded the girl's petite features. Filia's gaze traveled from the hair to the matching red eyes to Lina's lacking chest and something shone within the blonde's gaze—something sharp and ancient… That disappeared as quickly as Amelia saw it, only to be replaced by something almost as dark.
Empty eyes met her gaze before the blonde was pushing herself up. The woman was much taller than Amelia or Lina, her form and face all elegant beauty and grace… Already, Amelia could sense the envy radiating from her redheaded best friend.
"I'm sorry." She spoke to Zelgadiss, but somehow the words seemed directed at them all—even distracted Gourry, who didn't care what was going on if it didn't involve food or protecting Lina. "I'm sorry." Then she was rushing away, almost running away from them all—even pushing Gourry out of her way as she hurried to leave them all far behind.
Lina was the first to speak what was on all their minds.
"Who the hell was that?"
A week had passed since her parents had dropped her off at the school for freaks… A week spent alone, hiding inside her room, the silence only occasionally broken by the presence of Sylphiel bringing her food or Luna, who merely came by to tell her that Professor Metallium and her son were both on some sort of vacation or business or something—she hadn't really been listening—and would be back soon… Soon… But till then, no classes… Just get used to the atmosphere… The people… Her new life…
She hadn't left her room since… The food usually was left untouched, only picked at here and there… And her eyes grew slowly accustomed to a new ceiling to stare at while the night hours ticked away. There were no cracks in this ceiling, just a simple spinning fan that made a screechy whining noise after four spins… Her clothes and personal items still remained packed; she merely rummaged through them for new clothing and toothpaste whenever she felt the need to actually pay attention to such trivial details.
Perhaps if she tried hard enough they'd forget about her… One day they'd stop bringing food… Stop checking on her… Just stop completely. They'd forget she'd ever come here and she could just fade away, fade away into the dark silence that was only disturbed by the fan's screech and her own breathing.
If she focused her attention hard enough on that thought—on the ideal of silence, the voices weren't so loud… And she'd do anything to stop the voices, especially since the meeting with the strange guy named Zelgadiss… They had never reacted so loudly, so terrifying till that moment…
Till the sound of his name had silenced them…
She was curled up on the bed—its pristine white sheets still covering its form, her comforter and own sheets still lying beside the unopened boxes. Her eyes were open, staring at the simple white door that led to her bathroom. A separate room and bath… Her parents must have paid a small fortune for her to get so much privacy…
The door opened, Luna's familiar stride entering the room, as she closed the door behind her. Filia could always sense when Luna entered the room—the woman's entire being radiated power and strength. She pulled all the air out of the room and filled it with her own sense of self-worth… Filia's mouth fell open, as her breathing quickened—but remained almost unnaturally quiet.
"Filia." Luna didn't stop walking till she'd reached the bed. "Get up. No more laziness. Your teacher is arriving in an hour. I'd advise you shower and dress. I'll be back in exactly an hour. If you are not ready, you will not enjoy the consequences."
Nothing. Filia merely lay there. Breathing.
Something flashed beneath Luna's gaze, her bangs hiding her watchful eyes. "The sooner you meet Zelas, the sooner you may leave. Filia. Filia…"
Silence.
Luna turned, walking away as seriously as she had entered. The door was nearly closed, when she heard the barely audible voice of Filia from inside the white, white room.
"An hour…"
It wasn't a question. So Luna didn't treat it as one. "I expect you to be clean, at least."
An hour later found Filia freshly scrubbed, her long hair pulled back in an easy ponytail. Her clothing was simple, neatly pressed khakis with a simple pink shirt. She had applied a simple layer of lip-gloss… Her breath was minty…
She wore no socks. She hadn't been able to find the box they were in.
Luna had appeared the second an hour had passed. She had merely given the silent girl a quick look-over, grunting her approval before walking off—again, knowing Filia would follow… Knowing she had to follow.
Their walk didn't last long, ending quickly within the confines of a neat office. It reminded Filia of her principal's office… Neat, mahogany desk with the appropriate little items of sentimentality… But it all rang false to her…
The woman standing behind the desk rang false, as well…
She was shorter than Filia by a few inches, but tall stilettos made it seem as if she towered over them all. Cascading waves of golden blonde hair curtained a face that would have made a model envious. The woman was beautiful, Hollywood beautiful, with a perfect little nose and perfect violet eyes with long, long lashes and a perfect rosebud mouth. The face suited the small waist and long legs—all encased in a chic black skirt suit. Golden bangles jingled as the woman moved, the jewelry surrounding both wrists and her right ankle.
She was perched on the edge of the desk, as they entered; her right hand lingering over the smoking remains of a long cigarette—like the kind Filia remembered her great-grandmother smoking, all 1920's style with a little black, gold rimmed holder. Her perfect mouth broke into a perfect smile when she caught sight of the two. Her teeth were white, white to Filia's eyes… It reminded her of a wolf's grin, like when the wolf tricked Little Red Riding Hood.
Filia had always hated stories involving the Big Bad Wolf.
And, instantly, she knew she didn't like the woman smiling at her.
"So, this is the Filia Ryo I've heard so much about." She put an unneeded emphasis on the last name. It just made Filia like her even less… There was something wrong about her…
"Filia, this is Zelas Metallium. She's to be your mentor for as long as you need stay here." Luna nodded at the woman, "Zelas. I leave the rest to you." Without another word, the purple haired woman was gone… Leaving Filia alone with the blonde bombshell that gave her a bad taste in her mouth.
"Luna never was one for meaningless conversation." One tan hand motioned toward a nearby chair, "Do sit, we have so much to talk about."
"I'd rather stand."
"You can speak." Zelas's smiled widened, "Very good."
"You're going to teach me?"
"Right to the point." She slid off the dark wood, standing gracefully before the younger blonde. There were at least a few feet of space between them, but Filia suddenly wanted it to be much farther. The woman was making her sick—her stomach ached more and more every second that passed within Zelas's company.
Filia waited for another response, but Zelas's catty gaze only continued to watch her. Her hands were beginning to feel clammy, her forehead was sweating… Second by second, moment by moment, the world seemed to be spinning slowly… Darkness edged along the lines of her vision, her stomach rolled and twisted—and her mind…
The voices were whispering… But quietly, as if they feared this woman, as well.
Something inside of her snapped at that. Fear this woman? Fear Zelas Metallium!
The idea made her sicker than the woman's actual presence.
Suddenly, that smile flashed at her and Zelas's hand was on her arm, gripping her. "Walk with me, Filia. I want to learn all about my new student."
Walk with me…
She'd rather have been dropped in a pit full of poisonous snakes and hungry lions.
She dragged her feet, as they walked. The insides of her shoes were sticky, the lack of socks uncomfortable and slick, and dragging them made her feel the slickness even more, but she continued to drag. Hopefully, the woman holding her arm would become tired of slowing down every five seconds, of the slight hop skip that had to accompany her walk, as she was forced to adjust to Filia's dragging feet… But no matter how much she tried to shake the woman off, Zelas merely seemed to cling harder.
It burned where her fingers gripped Filia's arm, burned with such fierce disgust that it made Filia's teeth grit together every time she became more aware of Zelas's flesh against hers.
"Where are we going?" The words were clipped, anger edging them. Filia gave up on the pretense of politeness and jerked her arm away from the supposed mentor, taking a few steps back—anything to distance herself from the woman that made her so angry with just her mere presence.
Red, red lips turned upward into a feral smile, "Merely a small tour of where you will be spending much of your time for the next year or so."
"Year!"
One manicured finger was shaken at her, all disappointed mockery, "Didn't listen to Luna, did we?" The smile was still there, all white teeth and red lips, then it was gone as Zelas turned away. "Come along, darling. We're almost there. Perhaps we should work on your stamina, some exercise maybe?"
Blue eyes narrowed, rage setting Filia's lips into an angry line. Her fingers were curled into tight fists, nails stabbing into her skin as she struggled to control the instinct of lashing out, of shouting and screaming—of destroying the smug woman before her. Her feet no longer dragged, as she followed Zelas, instead they were jerky steps, her feet raising too high as she marched behind the woman causing so much emotion within her… More emotion than she had felt in months…
Emotions that she could've continued just fine without.
They entered a room soon after and Zelas waved one hand with flourish, as Filia slowly took in her new surroundings.
The room was split in half—one side reminded her of a living room with a fluffy couch of black leather and a fireplace with a wood-back chair upholstered in purple—it was Victorian designed, the chair and fireplace and the small rectangular coffee table—even the little decorations, all Victorian except for the black couch. The other half was much more remarkable. It was like walking inside a bubble. The other side was secluded by some sort of silvery material Filia didn't recognize, with a large metal door leading into the rectangular seclusion. The material was slightly see-through, allowing her to peer into a blank room filled with mats and padding.
It reminded her of an asylum…
It reminded her…
"You must understand, we are only doing this for your own good. We have to rid you of these terrible delusions. You must regain normalcy, you must gain the strength to fight your lunacy, and the only way to grow strong is to endure. You must endure, Filia. Begin the treatment."
And then the screaming, always the screaming. It never ended, never stopped, always went on and on till she couldn't remember a time there wasn't the screaming. Couldn't remember a time when her throat wasn't raw from the yelling and screaming and her eyes were sore from the tears… So many tears, enough to fill an ocean… And then the ocean dried up and the tears stopped… No more tears, but her throat still bled… And the screams went on and on and on and on—
"Are you cold?" Zelas's voice sent a jerk through her body, dragging her mind away from familiar memories, memories more horrible than the dreams or voices because she knew the truth of these memories… Could still feel the cold hands on her, hidden inside a slick layer of thin, slippery gloves—the kind kids would blow into strange hand balloons… Doctor gloves…
"What?" Filia turned wildly toward the voice, her eyes wide and startled as she met Zelas's arrogant features. "No. No… I'm fine." She glanced once toward the strange bubble room and repressed a shudder. "Are we done? Can I go?"
"Of course not. We have much to do, much to work on before we are done." The amusement disappeared, replaced with an expression of stern seriousness. "Your training will be difficult and you will very likely grow to hate me and everything we do." A slow, sardonic smirk stretched her lips, her blonde hair falling forward, hiding her eyes from view. All Filia saw were those red lips twisted into a smile—a smile that made her skin crawl. "You'll come to find that I don't mind hate so very much. It's such a stimulating emotion.
Everyone at this school," she made the simple word reek with sarcastic humor, "can do things, special things. They are born with the ability to manipulate their inner strength and use it to change the world around them. Call it telepathic abilities, magic, or freak accident—it is here and a part of them, a part of you.
This 'power' cannot be completely explained, though many believe it to be connected to the mind. You'll find that many of the students here are highly intelligent and incredibly eccentric. Wherever it comes from, its continuous existence forms a barrier or aura around its holder. The power surrounds them, like cloaks of energy—it flows around them and within them. It is a constantly changing thing.
Which brings me to you. Where your power should be flowing, it is being held in tight seclusion. You have managed to gather all that energy and trap it within yourself, forcing it away—and by doing so have created various problems for both yourself and the teachers here. There have been only a few cases like yours and only one has ended well so far. The power will eventually destroy you from within. It will burn you away so that it can flow freely.
It must be released. You must learn total control or you will perish, and in the process most likely destroy anyone close to you at that time. It will affect your mind and body. It will devour you whole and will not stop with only you. Now, my darling pupil, do you understand the naughty mistake you have made?"
There was silence… Silence, as Filia stared wide-eyed at the calmly smiling woman before her. As the horrible truth of her words sank in… A part of her wasn't completely shocked by the outcome of what would happen if she didn't manage to control the horrible curse—already its affects could be felt in the painful headaches… Perhaps this was the cause for the voices… Perhaps…
But to have someone so calmly declare your death, your utter demise with such a tone… This woman didn't care. She merely seemed interested in the whole process, as if Filia were some sort of experiment.
"But your son—they said--."
"I did say one case hadn't ended horribly. My son was taught very carefully by myself. He has managed perfect control. And so will you."
Filia turned away her eyes squeezed shut, as she absorbed the woman's words. Then slowly, she faced Zelas, her features tight, as she struggled to control the tension in her body. "So, I have only two choices: suffer through your teachings or die insane." She took a step forward, tightening her stomach muscles to fight the nausea that threatened as she closed the distance between them. "Then start teaching, Zelas, because the sooner this is over, the sooner I'm free of you then the better." Another step and another till Filia was disgustingly close to the smirking blonde. "I don't like you."
Zelas's lips widened into a feral smile, "Oh, this will be fun."
Four hours later, Filia realized she'd been wrong in saying she didn't like Zelas.
She HATED her.
Since her "training" had begun, she'd been poked, prodded, taunted, humiliated, and treated in a manner that continued to infuse her with anger. She nearly boiled with the emotion and as she grew angrier, Zelas seemed to grow more and more content, like a cat full of cream. Filia couldn't understand the woman, how could she remain so calm in the face of her constant curses and angry retorts. It was as if she enjoyed Filia's anger and took some sadistic pleasure in making her blood boil.
Whatever the reasons, she continued to irritate the girl with her teaching methods. The first hour had been spent answering questions about everything from her schooling to her private and entirely too personal life. The woman had enjoyed watching the girl's face flush red in anger and embarrassment, as her questions had trailed into the risqué. The girl was, unsurprisingly, something of a prude and had not taken her curiosity well.
The next three hours had been passed in torture, as Zelas had begun the mental and physical training that she said was essential. Filia had meditated, yoga-ed, run, jumped, and focused all her attention on idiotic little details like the color on a ball enough to last her a lifetime. Sweat poured down her body, her hair was wet and sticky against her flushed face, and she had long decided that she would hide Zelas's body underneath the floorboards of that very room.
The thing that infuriated the girl more than any of the torturous "lessons" was the fact that her angry outbursts were met with such sarcastic wit. Zelas enjoyed her anger, she enjoyed the curses and shouts, and she encouraged them with more and more demands… And the more Zelas taunted and enjoyed Filia's anger, the angrier the girl became until her movements were jerky and harsh.
And through it all, Filia gritted her teeth and continued to obey. Her anger had to be bottled, her body had to be pushed to its limits, because a terrible truth lied behind the beautiful woman's perfect little smirk. The fact of the matter was plain and simple and it grated Filia to even admit to herself, but the truth was she was afraid of Zelas. Pure and simple. Fear motivated her to continue the torturous lessons, for a raw fury of power that forced everything Filia was to pale in comparison lied within the pretty teacher.
Only once had she felt it during the last four hours and it had been once too many. One angry outburst had been too much, it had led to Filia nearly leaving when she had been stopped by… Something. Something had just suddenly surrounded her, a wave of power and energy that had poured into her from all sides, stabbing and pinching and tearing and ripping her apart from the inside out until it was worse than the voices, worse than anything she'd ever experienced before and… Then it had been over and Filia had been on her hands and knees, tears streaming down her face as she looked up into Zelas's smiling face.
"Poor dear. You must have tripped. Here, let me help you."
Somewhere within the building, a bell rang and Zelas clapped her hands twice. "Lunchtime. Two hour break," she spoke while walking, leaving the room before Filia could, "then you're mine again. Ta-ta."
Then she was gone… Leaving behind a sickening smell of wine and sweet smoke…and something else, something dark and disgusting and…
"EVIL." Filia's lips curled back in a snarl, as she let out one last yell of outrage before storming from the room.
Two hours… Two hours before she'd have to see that witch again. Filia scowled, her fingernails digging into her palm as she fumed down the hallway. Someone hated her. That was all there was to it. It wasn't enough that she was a freak or that voices continued to haunt her, but now she had to deal with that woman. It was like one long terrible nightmare… The world just wouldn't leave her alone, it just had to continue pushing and pushing---sometimes, she felt as if she was being punished, but what could she have done that was so terrible?
"Um, hello?" A hand gently reached out and touched her arm, causing Filia to tense and jump.
"What?" For a brief, terrified second she thought Zelas had changed her mind and had decided to hunt her down before her two hours were up. The fear was short lived, however, as soon as she looked down at the short, raven-haired girl standing beside her. The girl barely reached her chest, but was obviously nearly the same age from her…attributes…
"Oops! I'm sorry, didn't mean to startle you!" The girl smiled sweetly, a lock of hair falling into her innocent blue eyes. "I was just--."
Filia didn't hear the rest, the voices that had remained so quiet near Zelas had suddenly decided to rear their ugly heads once again. She stumbled backwards, one pale hand lifting to her head.
"Justice is the only true path!"
"Stupid princ--."
"DADDY!"
"Stop evildoers!"
"Are you alright? Miss? Miss!" Hands were shaking her, a concerned voice trying to override the chaos within her mind. Filia shook her head back and forth, struggling against the screams pounding against her temples. This had happened before… With the stone-man…. With Zelgadiss…
"Name…" Filia reached out blindly, her eyes squeezed shut from the pain, "Your name!"
"Huh?"
"YOUR NAME!"
"JUSTI---."
"PRINCES---"
"WHITE LIGHT HE--!"
"Amelia! My name is Amelia!"
Filia slumped forward; her head resting against Amelia's shocked form. Nothing mattered now… The voices had finally stopped… Tears pricked her eyes, pain shook her entire body and sweat beaded her temple. They were getting worse, so terribly worse… She couldn't bare to wonder what might have happened had the girl not revealed her name. In her darkest moments, this is what she had feared the most… And now, it was coming true. She was losing control…
"Are you feeling better now?" The voice was sweet and soft, a hand reaching up to pat her back.
Filia jerked, pulling away from the girl, and looking around frantically. She was on the floor, the two of them alone in the long hallway. A sigh of relief escaped her, as she saw no one else around to have witnessed her breakdown. No one, but…
"Oh, god…" She didn't want to meet the other girl's eyes and see the disgust, the distrust… "I am so sorry! I…I tend to have these terrible migraines… I'm very sorry." Filia began to stand and Amelia followed her example, watching her curiously. One thin, dark eyebrow arched in slight disbelief, the petite woman not believing the poor excuse. However, she quickly smoothed her features into a concerned expression, eyes sparkling innocently.
"Is your head still hurting? Here." For a second, time seemed to halt around the two girls, as one delicate hand reached toward Filia's forehead—the blonde's eyes widening at the sight of warm, white light flaring around the other girl's palm. Carefully, Amelia placed her glowing hand against pale flesh and Filia vaguely heard her whisper something soft and low before finding herself overwhelmed by warmth.
Then it was over, leaving Filia warm and content, her skin nearly buzzing with energy… Wide-eyed, she blinked wildly at the other girl, "What… How…?"
Amelia smiled and chirped happily, "Magic! Do you feel better now?" Numbly, Filia nodded, still overwhelmed by the energy flowing through her veins. She hadn't felt this alive in so long! The very air around her seemed to buzz with life, her body twitching with the desire to run, to dance, to fly… Her shoulder blades itched, phantom feathers seeming to drift over her skin, and in that moment, Filia wanted nothing more than to spread her wings and take flight—a crazy fantasy that for a second didn't seem so crazy…
"Miss? Um… Miss?"
"Huh…?" She jerked, fantasies of open skies and endless clouds fading from her mind.
Raven locks bounced freely around Amelia's pixyish face, "You're new here, aren't you? I remember seeing you arrive and then that day…in the hall…with Mister Zelgadiss…" For a second, a shadow seemed to pass over the younger girl's features, fading as quickly as it had appeared. "I would have introduced myself then but you were in such a hurry!" She struck a pose, "I am Amelia Saillune, a third-year resident! If you have any problems just call and I'll be glad to help!"
There was something utterly right about watching the girl stand there, one hand held righteously in the air, her eyes starry with each word, and Filia's heart suddenly ached…
"Thank you…" Slowly, a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips, the act feeling almost odd. "My name is Filia Ryo."
Amelia's stance faltered, her eyes widening, lips forming the name with an almost reverent tone. "Filia…" Somethng distant and old peered past dark blue eyes, staring up at the blonde with a strange expression of fondness and fear… Then it was gone, leaving only a young, smiling girl. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Filia! I'm sure you're going to enjoy your stay here." Amelia watched as a shadow fell across the blonde's features, that brief smile dying.
"I doubt that..." Filia's eyes narrowed, remembering the haughty, amused look on Zelas's face just before she'd been given this short reprieve. "With her as my teacher, it's going to be pure torture..."
"Oh, it can't be that bad! You just have to try your hardest and I'm sure you'll succeed!" She beamed up at the older girl, before motioning down the hall. "Were you headed to lunch, Miss Filia? I can show you the way if you like."
Lunch... Filia's eyes widened, glancing wildly around for a clock. How much of her precious time had she wasted dealing with the voices! How much more freedom would she be allowed before returning to Zelas's cruel hands!
"They serve some of the best food here, but we'd really better hurry before, um, the others get there..." A panicky look crossed the girl's face, one hand wrapping around Filia's arm, "Oh, noཀ If Miss Lina and Mister Gourry are there... Come on, Miss Filia! This way!"
Filia yelped, as suddenly she found herself racing down the hallway, unable to wrench her arm free from Amelia's tight grasp–for such a short girl, she had a surprisingly strong grip. "Eeee! Stop!"
Whether, Amelia ignored her frantic cries or merely could not hear them over the wild pounding of their feet, Filia could only guess. Whatever the reason, Filia's cries went unheeded, as the two rounded corner after corner, her ponytail slapping against her back with every step.
"Ah! Here we are!" Amelia smiled happily, as she peered around the cafeteria, relieved to see that there seemed to be a significant lack of destruction. "We made it, Miss Filia!" There was silence from the girl behind her and she spun around, "Miss Filia?"
"Ugh..." The blonde leaned against the wall, head spinning from the sudden run. She turned a wary glance toward Amelia, "Huh...?"
"Oops..." Amelia smiled sheepishly, "Um, do you want to sit down while I get us something to drink, Miss Filia?" She quickly helped the wild-eyed girl to a table, "What would you like? There's soda, water, juice," the girl ticked each drink off her hand, taking in a deep breath for what would obviously be a long list.
Filia waved her hands frantically before the girl could continue, settling into her chair with a relieved sigh, "Tea, would be fine, but I can get it."
"No, no! You just sit there and I'll be right back!" With that, Amelia disappeared into the growing throng of students, humming happily to herself as she ducked and dodged the lunch crowd, leaving Filia sitting wide-eyed and light-headed.
"What...just happened...?" She shook her head, lying her hands flat against the smooth plastic table, staring into its surface with a quizzical expression. For a second, she turned her gaze to the arm Amelia had so easily grasped, lightly running one finger along the pale skin. "She just grabbed it... No hesitation, no worry..." It had been so long since anyone other than her brother had touched her... Had approached her without even the hint of fear, not even her parents had managed... And, yet, this girl...
"She has to know... This school... Everyone..." Filia felt the prick of tears and quickly wiped them away, forcing the sob down her throat. For the first time since arriving, Filia looked around, actually stared into the faces of the other students that meandered around the cafeteria. Short and tall, blonde and brunette, male and female–all so ordinary looking, all smiling and laughing... She could have easily imagined herself sitting within her own school's cafeteria, except... Here, the faces peered back at her, smiles friendly and polite, curious and interested...
For a school full of freaks, no one really seemed to mind...
Her fingers wrapped around her arm, over the spot Amelia had so suddenly grasped. No one cared here... They had all accepted their strange powers, had settled into their lives, and she... she was no different from them in their eyes...
"Did you know that the eyes are the windows to the soul?"
"Oh? Is that why you're always hiding yours?"
Filia shook her head, face reddening slightly. "Shut up..." A quiet whisper, a soft warning that despite these new ideas, she would never be like them... Never be completely the same...
But did they have to know that? Could she not find some sense of life? An escape from the memories and the dreams and the voices, a short reprieve of semi-normalcy... Didn't she deserve just a tiny bit of what she had lost?
Chewing on her bottom lip, Filia stared straight ahead–her thoughts jumbled and confusing... And so distracting, she didn't notice the redhead standing before her till she slammed her tray down onto the table with a loud bang.
"AH!" Filia jumped, nearly knocking her chair over, as she stared into mischievous, smirking red eyes. One hand grasped the fabric over her pounding heart, even as the girl calmly pulled out a chair and sat down, a blonde man following her example.
"You gonna just stand there?" Lina smirked, biting into a large chicken drum even as she spoke. Tiny, dangerous teeth tore into the meat, swallowing impossibly large bites, as Filia slowly sat back down, still staring wide-eyed at the couple before her. In the back of mind, she could fill the steady build-up, the voices slowly clamoring for attention and she gritted her teeth, preparing for the inevitable repeat of earlier...
"They are as inseparable as sun and sky... Sometimes, I wonder if the world was created merely for the two of them, for nothing in the world has seemed so right as Lina Inverse and Gourry Gabriev traveling together..."
"Miss Lina, Mister Gourry!" Amelia carefully lowered the drinks to the table, smile twitching slightly as she stared between the three.
And like that the voices died, allowing Filia to heave a sigh of relief, as Amelia pulled up a chair, noticing only vaguely that she had brought two white boxes full of ordinary lunch food with her. At her curious stare, Amelia darted a glance toward the gorging redhead, "Um, it seemed wise to grab something while I was up there... I hope you don't mind."
"Not at all." Filia smiled, the motion growing a bit easier each time, and reached for ths steaming cup of tea. She warily watched the other two, eyes widening a bit as the redhead suddenly reared back and punched the man, snatching a hamburger from his towering plate of food. "Uh..."
Amelia took a large bite from her sandwich, following Filia's gaze,and quickly swallowing with effort. "Miss Filia, this is Miss Lina Inverse and Mister Gourry Gabriev. They're both fourth year students..." She blanched as both watched Gourry shove an entire hotdog into his mouth. "They're not usually this bad..." That came out as a quiet whisper, blue eyes warily watching Lina to make sure the hot-tempered female hadn't heard.
"No, they're usually worse." Both girls jerked slightly, tilting their heads up at the stoic voice, watching as Zelgadiss sat down, as far from the gorging couple as possible.
"Mister Zelgadiss!" Filia watched with interest, as a faint blush painted Amelia's cheeks, her voice seeming to chirp even higher than before. "How are you today?"
"I'm fine, Amelia." He smiled slightly, the barest twitch of those blue lips. However, the smile was short-lived as he glanced behind the bouncing girl, noticing the silent Filia sitting amongst them. "Seems you've made a new friend..."
Heat radiated off Filia's cheeks, the air seeming to stiffen around the small group, as she met Zelgadiss's cold gaze. Strange how human those blue eyes were... It seemed almost cruel that his entire body be so completely inhuman while they remained the same... A terrible reminder of the life he once had...
But how could she know anything about his life... What proof did she have that he had not been born like this?
Because she knew. She just knew... And that scared her more than anything...
Amelia's mouth was opening, a ready introduction on the tip of her tongue, even as Lina pushed aside her empty tray. "I'm a little curious about your new friend, too, Amelia." The redhead leaned back in her chair, gleaming red eyes watching Filia shrewdly. There was a hidden intelligence within those startling ruby depths, an ancient knowledge of the world and people that frightened the blonde... "We saw you arrive last week, I would've expected to see you in classes before now."
Filia's mouth felt oddly dry, as the three turned to face her. Unlike Amelia's easy friendship and concern, she could only see suspicion and curiosity in the other two's gazes. Feeling slightly overwhelmed, she shot a quick glance at the silent Gourry, only to find him completely oblivious to the ongoing conversation–his attention focused on what seemed to be a cherry cheesecake.
Finding no reprieve there, Filia swallowed once before lifting her chin, eyes hardening before this sudden inquisition. "My teacher did not arrive till today, so I was not able to start training till this morning..."
Lina's eyes narrowed, "Zelas is your trainer?"
Filia nodded, taking a quick sip of tea in an effort to ignore the sudden exchange of glances.
"A nice cup of tea solves any problem, don't you think, Fi-chan?"
"I've always liked to think so."
"Oh!" Amelia's eyes widened, her face flickering with a sudden realization, "That's why you were in such pain!"
"Pain?" Lina quirked an eyebrow, turning her attention on Amelia even as she continued to watch Filia out of the corner of her eye. The sorceress didn't know why, but seeing the blonde so obviously uncomfortable made her chest hurt... Made her fingers tingle and clench with the desire to fireball something... And, yet, behind those strange, nearly overwhelming protective urges lied the feeling of rightness–she felt oddly at rights, as if something special had been returned to her...
"Migraines." Lukewarm tea splashed over the cup's edges, as Filia suddenly slammed it into the table's surface–her elegant face suddenly cold and stoic, the previous emotions hidden behind a layer of ice. "Whenever my power tries to manifest, it causes extremely painful migraines." With a sharp screech of metal against concrete, Filia stood, her chair tottering dangerously close to tipping over. "Thank you for the meal, Miss Amelia, but I have to go."
"But your food!" Clutching the remaining container, its contents untouched, Amelia leapt to her feet, concern and dismay clouding her dark blue eyes. "Miss Filia!"
For the briefest of seconds, something almost like regret flashed across the blonde's features, then it was gone... Leaving behind a terrible, heart wrenching sadness that did not belong on her young face. "I'm sorry, Amelia... I'm sorry..." Then Filia was running, pushing through the crowd, anything in an effort to escape...
"Miss Filia..." Slowly, Amelia lowered the food, eyes downcast and troubled. "She almost seemed happy...for a second..."
"There's something off with that girl." Lina tugged on one loose red curl, eyes distant, as she pondered the blonde's sudden departure.
Beside her, Gourry swallowed the last of his cheesecake, eying the container of food Filia had left behind. He perked up at Lina's voice, eyes and mouth widening in obvious shock and concern, "You're right, Lina! Look at all the food she left behind!"
The former swordsman was allowed only a warning twitch before finding himself several feet away, nursing a newly developed bruise. "Jellyfish brains! All you think about is food!" Behind the angry redhead, both Amelia and Zelgadiss couldn't help the disbelief crossing their faces—as if, Lina ever thought of anything else!
"Whatever her story, I'd rather not involve myself in Metallium affairs..." Zelgadiss shifted in his seat, blue eyes flashing angrily, "Anything dealing with Xelloss or his mother can't be good..."
"Mister Xelloss isn't a bad person, Mister Zelgadiss!" Amelia slowly lowered herself back into her seat, staring at the cooling cup of spilt tea. "He's helped us many times in the last few years and before..."
"Before." Zelgadiss scoffed, "What we can remember of before, you mean! There's no telling what awful problems he caused. Just because we can't remember them, doesn't mean they didn't happen... You can't trust him, Amelia. Or his mother."
There was the sound of crumpling paper and smacking, causing both to look up as Lina reclaimed her seat, Filia's forgotten lunch opened before the happily snacking sorceress. At their looks, she frowned, "What? I'm not gonna just let good food go to waste!"
"Ooo! Share, Lina!" Gourry snatched a roll from the box, shoving it into his mouth before Lina could stop him. She glowered at the blonde, pulling the box of food closer, trying to shield his wandering hands with her body.
"Oy! Go get your own!"
Zelgadiss rolled his eyes, calmly sipping his coffee, as he tried to ignore Amelia's pleading gaze. "But, Mister Zelgadiss, Ms. Metallium is a teacher! She has to be trustworthy, otherwise I'm sure Miss Luna wouldn't let her teach here."
"Luna doesn't decide who works here, Amelia." Lina licked a crumb from her fingertip, sticking out her tongue triumphantly at the pouting Gourry. "Any ways, Zelas is a benefactor. You really think they'd tell her to pack her bags and take a hike? As long as she's willing to dol out the money, they're gonna let her stay–trustworthy or not."
A horrified expression claimed Amelia's pretty features, lips falling open in a disbelieving O. "But that's horrible! If Miss Metallium's teaching methods are unjust then she shouldn't be allowed to teach! Money should have nothing to do with it!"
Lina couldn't quite keep the smirk from her face, "It really is shocking how much money can affect the world. So, how's that World Welfare Program, that your father so generously sponsored, going?"
Amelia ducked her head, quickly climbing down her seat, her oncoming speech dying on her lips. "Uh, hee... So, what do you think is wrong with Miss Filia?" The girl struggled to ignore the heat radiating from her blush-stained cheeks, trying to deviate the conversation away from her father and his influence over the school.
Lina shrugged, "Who knows? Some people just can't hack being Touched. You heard her that day, screaming and shouting. Probably just mad at her parents for ruining her social life."
"Maybe she misses her tail."
Blink.
Blink.
Blink.
Three, very shocked and confused, sets of eyes blinked owlishly at the oblivious Gabriev, watching as he gnawed on a leftover chicken bone. Very carefully, Lina constructed her next sentence, her left eye twitching slightly as she stared at the blonde. "What are you talking about?"
Gourry looked up, tossing aside the meatless bone with a fond sigh, "You know, her tail. I saw it when I looked up her skirt."
"WHAT?"
"MISTER GOURRY, HOW COULD YOU!"
"Oh lord..." Zelgadiss winced, as the poor blonde suffered the blows of not one, but two irate females. Turning away from the violent scene, the chimera once again raised his cup to his lips, eyes rolling upward. "He never learns..."
Filia sighed softly to herself, as she leaned against the balcony's railing, glad to have finally found a place that offered, at least, a semblance of privacy. Peering out over the acres of rolling hills and lush woods, Filia felt a little foolish for her sudden outburst in front of the others... After all, wasn't it only natural that they be a bit curious about her? Wasn't it normal for them to ask questions about her training?
God, was she really so unused to human contact that she reacted so badly to a few innocent questions...
Gripping the metal rail, she pushed herself onto her tiptoes, leaning as far over as possible, eyes closed as she enjoyed the gentle breeze tugging at her hair. Releasing her hold for a second, Filia reached upward, grasping the simple band holding her hair back, pulling it free with a slight jerk. It felt wondrously refreshing to stand there, the wind blowing her long, blonde hair around her face–the strands light and ticklish against her skin.
"Lovely day, isn't it?"
Blue eyes snapped open and the open balcony door suddenly slammed shut, causing both Filia and Sylphiel to jump. Struggling to calm her pounding heart, and silently cursing her luck in being surprised not once, but twice that day, Filia turned, facing the other woman. A sweet, apologetic smile adorned Sylphiel's features, as she approached the railing, staring up into the sky.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." She turned that sweet smile toward Filia, "I'm glad to see you up and well, Miss Filia."
Filia quickly glanced away, "Yes, well..." Her voice trailed off, eyes seeking out the distant figures of students outside, some playing games, others merely studying under the shade. Beside her, Sylphiel followed her gaze and the two remained silent, the air oddly tense...
"I am sorry." Sylphiel's quiet whisper broke through the silence, causing Filia to jerk slightly, facing her despite her hesitance.
"Oh, I'm fine. I was just a little surprised." She forced a smile, lips stretching out in a shaky mockery of forgiveness.
Strands of lilac-colored hair shifted in the sun's light, as Sylphiel slowly shook her head, unable to meet Filia's haunted blue gaze. "No... Not for that... I'm sorry for earlier... I upset you when I revealed your hidden powers..."
"Oh..." Another heavy silence, so thick Filia felt she could choke on it... It hurt to breathe, hurt to think, as she stood there, side by side with this strange, polite woman who reminded her... reminded her...
Of trees... and that special feeling when one is in a place of sacredness...
"It wasn't your fault." Words she couldn't remember choosing, words flowing out of her mouth without any given consent. "You didn't make me this way... If anyone's to blame, its me... According to my teacher," oh how that word burned and twisted her stomach, "this is all my fault..."
Sylphiel sighed, eyes distant and heavy with some unknown knowledge, "Miss Zelas can be, at times, a bit uncouth..." Filia blinked at the girl, feeling in the back of her mind that from this girl, uncouth was indeed a terrible insult... "The truth is, Miss Filia, that what has happened to you is merely how things are meant to be..." She smiled, a bit sadly, "You mustn't blame yourself; that is a path leading only to doubt and heartache."
Filia stared into Sylphiel's serene face, watching as the sun's rays danced gently across her skin. Her hands trembled, the urge to reach out and touch the other girl nearly overwhelming. For some reason, in that moment, she was overcome with the need to prove that the other girl truly existed, that she wasn't some strange vision brought about by pain and delusions...
But she held back... Refused to release her grasp on the balcony's railing...
Slowly, Sylphiel stepped back, her smile still sweet and a tad forlorn, "Well, I hope you have a good day, Miss Filia, and hopefully I will see you in class tomorrow."
"Class?" The word felt numb and heavy on her lips, as if she hadn't used her voice in ages instead of mere seconds.
Sylphiel nodded slightly, "Now, that Miss Zelas has returned, you will begin normal classes with the rest of the school. The mornings are comprised of ordinary classes, so that you may continue your high school education, while the afternoons are spent with your mentor."
Filia bit her lower lip, "I didn't know... Zelas hadn't mentioned anything about normal classes..." And she hadn't paid attention to any of Luna's previous lectures...
"Yes, well, I'm sure she was waiting till after lunch to explain." Sylphiel frowned slightly, forehead wrinkling in thought, before smoothing out as she smiled reassuringly at the blonde. "If you have any questions, I'll be happy to help you. We have the same schedule, so if she forgets then just come by and I'll be more than happy to give you a copy. I'm in room 243, its right down the hall."
Relief flooded Filia's senses, "Thank you so much!"
Sylphiel's smile widened, her eyes lighting up with the simple gesture, "You're welcome. See you tomorrow, Miss Filia."
"Goodbye..." Filia half turned to watch the other girl disappear from the balcony, her quiet footsteps fading down the hall. Once sure that Sylphiel had indeed left, Filia turned toward the sky once again... But with the other's sudden visit, she found the sight less relaxing, the open skies seeming to mock her fierce desire for freedom till she frowned. Stepping backwards, she allowed her hands to loosen their tremulous hold on the rail, glancing down at her stiff fingers as she coaxed blood back into them.
Only to freeze in place, disbelief painting her features. One trembling hand reached upward, lightly grazing the metal railing–running over and over the place where her hands had gripped so tightly... Over and over where the metal had bent in, the imprints of her hands clear as day...
"Impossible..."
Yet, obviously not...
"For someone who looks so delicate, you sure can pack a punch..."
"Appearances can be deceiving. You, of all people, should know that, Mister Zelgadiss."
"Not possible!" She shook her head, blonde strands flying wildly at the motion. "He never said that! I never said that! We've barely spoken! So, how! How could I remember a conversation I've never had?"
And earlier...with Lina and Gourry... the same thing had happened then... She had known them even before hearing their names... But it wasn't POSSIBLE!
"It's not possible! I just can't do it!"
"Just like a dragon! Always full of empty promises!"
"SHUT UP!"
"Yes, shut up!" Filia narrowed her eyes, backing away from the damaged railing, nearly running from the balcony.
Forget Zelas and her supposed training! All she wanted to do was curl up in bed and hide... And in that second, Filia couldn't have cared less if Zelas had appeared, intent on dragging her back for more torturous lessons–she didn't care, she didn't care, she didn't care! She wanted away! Away from perky third-year students with healing powers, away from cold, stoic stone men, away from suspicious, flat-chested redheads! Away from mysterious, aura-readers, away from this sudden, new world and people that made her feel things she hadn't felt in ages...
Running down the halls, the voices throwing in their unnecessary two cents every turn, Filia suddenly realized something...
The voices... They hadn't uttered a word around Sylphiel...