Violet looked up. Klaus looked up. Sunny looked up. Calvin stared. Hobbes stared.

There was a long moment of silence.

"Who are you?" Klaus finally asked.

"Gloop!" Sunny shrieked.

"I'm Calvin The bold! Also known as Doctor Dynasty!" Calvin yelled.

"His name's Calvin." Hobbes said.

Calvin turned a glare on Hobbes

"thanks, Hobbes, now there's no chance that they're going to worship me!"

Klaus studied the two.

"Calvin and Hobbes? You're named after 16th century Theologian who believed in predestination, Calvin."

"COOL!" Calvin yelled, and he turned to Hobbes. "Heh, heh, heh, YOUR not named after a 16th century theograpghy who believed in predestinarytion, Hobbes!!!"

"No, he's not." Klaus continued. "Hobbes is named after a 17th century philosopher with a dim view of human nature!"

Hobbes stuck his tongue out at Calvin.

"Hah." he said "I'm farther in the future than YOU are!" Calvin ignored him, grumbling to himself.

"Gopa?"Sunny asked. Which meant "what are you doing here?"

Violet translated the message to Calvin and Hobbes.

Calvin stared at the baby. "How does a baby understand anything that's going on around here?" he asked.

Violet rolled her eyes and said. "She's actually a pretty smart baby, Calvin."

Calvin stared at Violet. "How does a girl understand anything that's going on around her?" Calvin asked.

Violet glared at him. "I'm an inventor!" she snarled.

A light came on in Calvin's eyes. "Whoops! Sorry Miss. Please forgive me for my sins! Oh how I swear to fix my evil ways!"

Calvin leaned over to Hobbes and whispered. "Never insult someone that can invent a hatchet in nothing flat!"

Hobbes stared at him.

"What ARE you doing here?" Klaus asked. Just then a knock sounded on their door.

"hey ya Baudelaires! Whachya doing?!"

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged worried looks, and dove under the bed.

Klaus opened the door. Mr Bill stood there as stupid looking as ever.

"I forgot ta tell ya," he began. "Mr Toe told me about that there Count Gloatoff. He sounds like a very, bad guy!"

the Baudelairs exchanged looks. They could think of better ways to describe Count Olaf.

"Now getta a good night's is sleep! Tamorra were gonna be workin' our heads off!"

"Why?" asked Violet.

"Why," said Bill staring at her as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "We gotta ranch ta tend to!"

Calvin's eyes bulged. "Oh great!" he thought.

The next day was torture. Klaus had to feed all the idiot chickens.

Violet had to feed the dumb-dumb goats, Bill stood behind a horse, who ended kicking him, a Sunny had to sit in the middle of a room with broken jack-in-the-box, and a rattle.

Calvin and Hobbes soon realized what an idiot Mr Bill was, and they walked freely not caring if Bill saw them for the simple logic, that he couldn't tell the difference between THEM and the BAUDELAIRES.

One time Bill called Calvin over to him thinking that it was Klaus.

"Hey! Plaus! C'mere!"

Calvin walked over to him.

"When feeding a chicken," he said. "You must be very precise."

Bill spent the next few minutes telling Calvin where each grain of Chicken food went, depending on the size, or length.

Calvin eventually snuck away, without any effort.

Bill hadn't noticed. He continued to drone on, on where the 2X1 went.

"Gad what an idiot!" Calvin said, walking through a big bunch of chickens.

Hobbes watched, As Chickens went flying in every direction as Calvin's foot slammed right into the middle of the bunch.

There was squawking, and feathers all over the place.

Klaus came up just then, and it was his misfortune to have a chicken land in the middle of his face.

His glasses fell to the floor, and he ended up smashing them. The chicken jumped off his head, and ran off squawking his head off, and flapping his wings.

"Oh-no." Klaus said, picking up his smashed glasses.

Calvin grinned as if he was going to laugh, but Hobbes' dark glare stopped him.

"Hey supercalifagilisticexbealidoeses-laires! Guess what?"

everyone but Klaus stared at Mr Bill.

"Yer brother kla-ouch is gonna feed the horsies." Bill said leaning in to face Calvin. "Isn't dat wight you wittle bee-bee" Calvin grabbed Bill's throat, and started shaking.

When Hobbes finally separated Calvin from the deranged maniac, Mr Bill acted like nothing happened. Instead, he cooed,

"awww, isn't baby bottle-layer cute?"

Calvin lunged for Bill again, but Hobbes held him back.

Bill walked away whistling.

Did I mention Bill couldn't whistle? He couldn't. Most of the time, he was just spitting, other times he was making a kind of high pitched screech.

"What am I gonna do?" Klaus asked nearly at panic.

"You could fed the horsies your glasses!" Calvin joked.

Hobbes pushed Calvin away, and whispered into Klaus's ears.

Calvin grumbled and started kicking at the chickens again.

He thought that Hobbes was whispering an idea of how to feed the "horsies" into Klaus's ears.

Nope.

He was whispering an idea on how to fix his glasses, AND get a good prank on Calvin.