Takes place after Kairi's rescue; contains spoilers for the end of Kingdom Hearts.

Written from Cloud's perspective.

AN: Getting the game Ehrgeiz seems to have inspired my FF7 muse, ^_^ Whipping butt with all those Final Fantasy characters... heh, way too much fun. So now that Zack has thoroughly kicked Sephiroth around the ring a few dozen times, I can go back to writing this thing...

This chapter is probably the longest one yet. But I just couldn't find a place to end it...

Onward!


~*~


Ephemeral Blossoms

Akai Kitsune

Part 9: Slipping Through My Fingers


~*~*~


Orange lilies.

I could smell them.

She always had lilies on the table when...

"Did you have fun today?"

Not really.

"That's good, dear. Have you asked Tifa to stay for dinner yet?"

No...

"You really should find an older girl. You need someone who will take care of you."

I don't want that.

"Oh, these? They're from the garden. Your father always brought me orange lilies when he came home."

It's a nice idea.

"Aren't they lovely? I planted them when you were very young, you know."

I know.

Because he wasn't there, you had to bring them home yourself.

"He was a scientist. Do you remember? He helped build the reactor on the mountain. He was so brilliant."

I remember.

I hate scientists.

"Don't play with them, Cloud. You'll make them wilt."

But... they're already dead...





I was awake before the large set of sliding doors in the lab were opened, lying in the center of my glass prison and listening to the buzz of the machines around me. The Mako was dim and barely visible in the air - Hojo had toned down the settings a few days before - so I had no trouble seeing through the glass.

A large, chained wooden crate was rolled in, pushed by two men I didn't recognize, and followed closely by Hojo. The scientist was scanning a clipboard, scribbling on it and occasionally looking up to direct the two others. One of the men glanced nervously in my direction and hastily looked away, probably before he met my eyes. I suppose it was true that cowards could never look a caged animal in the eye.

I vaguely wondered how much my eyes glowed at that point.

How long had it been...?

"The greater the illumination of the iris, the more Mako they've been exposed to-"

I thought curiously about how many treatments the real SOLDIER program required; how long Zack had spent in these tanks. At least he'd had a choice.

... but I didn't want to think about Zack.

I didn't want to think about...

"Hojo? Since when is he involved in the SOLDIER screening procedures?"

"Take care, Cloud."

Why... why did he...

I don't understand.

Unwilling to think further on what I couldn't understand, I shifted my attention back to Hojo, although truthfully, there wasn't much hope in understanding him, either. But Hojo was far more likely to explain things than a man who wasn't even there.

I... wanted Zack to be there.

At least then, I'd get my answer.

"I'm so glad you're awake." Hojo finally noticed me, stepping over to the glass container. I turned away, rolling my eyes, but his voice followed me. It wasn't as if there was anywhere to run. "Now I can introduce you to our new lab partner. This is what we've been waiting for, you know."

Joy, I thought warily. So kind of you to make me feel like such a team player.

Give me a few cheerleaders and a marching band. We're the star players in Hojo's House of Science...

I didn't say anything in response, though. That was something Zack would have said. After what I had heard, I just felt... drained. I didn't have the strength to fight it anymore.

I'm... not Zack.

I don't want to be.

"Don't forget who it was who told me about Strife-"

"-who told me-"

He told Sephiroth...

"Shall we open up that crate, then?" Hojo continued, turning back to the other men. If he was disappointed by my lack of enthusiasm, he didn't show it. Excuse me if I wasn't thrilled that he found someone else to poke at 24 hours a day.

You'd think I would be happy. But all I can do is feel sorry for whatever is... what the-?

As the sides of the box were peeled away, they revealed a large cube of ice. The sides were dusted with frost, but through it I could make out a vague shape hidden deep within. Lodged in the very center of the ice's highest surface, a green, spherical shape was visible, pulsing faintly every few seconds.

"Ah..." Hojo whistled, a broad smile on his face. "Here we are. Here we are..." He drew closer, carefully slipping on a clean white glove. He brushed the glove across the ice's surface, flicking away the light frost and leaving a clear view of what lay within.

From the distance, I saw something I couldn't recognize - but whatever it was, it had the most unusually large yellow eyes...

"Isn't it beautiful, Strife?" the scientist oozed, stepped aside to display the creature. "This is the future of my work, the future of the SOLDIER program."

I raised an eyebrow, sliding down the glass to sit on the floor of my cage. It looked like an oversized bug. After considering it for a moment, I told Hojo as much.

He merely smiled again, his dark eyes gleaming coldly. "A bug? Oh, this is far beyond a simple bug, boy. This is beyond anything you've ever seen. A creature born of shadows, void of all light... captured and brought here in secrecy all the way from the depths of the Rising Falls."

Rising Falls?

I blinked. "The... the king's castle?"

Hojo chuckled. "There is no other, after all. Ansem himself gave explicit instructions for these creatures to be studied carefully. Think how this changes things for us, Strife!"

I tried to think. I didn't try to care.

"Get the specimen into the empty containment room," Hojo spun on his heels, waving a hand to the men who waited for him. "Careful as you move it, though. If you jar the Materia keeping it frozen, there's no knowing how easily the ice could be broken." He smiled wickedly. "And there's no knowing what kind of damage a creature of darkness such as this could cause."

Why did I get the feeling I wouldn't be too concerned if the thing somehow got loose?

Oh. Because it'd probably go for the blackest heart around. Right.

We both watched the men do their work, me with only the most vague of interest, and Hojo with a deep, critiquing intent. As the workers pushed and pulled the block into the other container, the frost cleared away and I gained an even closer look at what lay within.

It was a shadow as Hojo had described, in every sense of the word. I couldn't see a trace of colour on it, aside from those strange, haunting eyes. The sharp claws of the creature seemed to be twitching, slowly scraping at the ice around it's inhuman hand, trying to free itself. Though frozen in place, the eyes seemed aware of... everything.

"What is that thing?" I whispered, unable to withhold my horrified query.

Hojo didn't answer for a long time, watching as the creature's prison was finally inside the container, and the assistants hastily left the lab without looking back. I scowled and turned away, disgusted, though I really should have known. Hojo was careful about the men he allowed in his lab, and he would never risk letting someone inside who might try to interfere, or report his actions to some higher power.

Of course, if he really did have permission from the king...

I didn't want to even think of it.

"What is it, Strife?" Hojo finally murmured, pressing his hands against the glass and leaning closer, a small smile creeping across his face. "This is the future for us, the future of military science as we know it."

One hand drifted to the side panel, tapping a few buttons and causing the container's door to slide shut.

"His Majesty called them 'Heartless'," the scientist finished in a chilled voice.

I followed his gaze, eyes wide, as the icy prison began to fall apart.





Lilies...

They're golden, aren't they?

"Cloud?"

What?

"Are you all right?"

What do you care?

"Mothers always know best, dear."

I'm lost.

"I'm right here. Everything's okay."

You're lost, too.

"We're in this together, aren't we?"

Stop laughing.

"I won't leave you hanging."

Stop acting like you care.

Traitor.

"Take care, Cloud."

Take care of -what-?

Why didn't you tell me...?





The creature hissed at me, claws outstretched, and leapt towards me once again. It's gaze was expressionless, but I didn't need a face to recognize the intent. It was the same intent the monster had had for the entire hour since Hojo had it put in my glass cell.

For the hundredth time, as I rolled away from the Heartless's assault, I wondered what, exactly, was the point of this exercise. Thus far it had been little more than a dangerous game of tag with Hojo as the referee, standing on the sidelines taking notes. I couldn't tell if he was testing our endurance or if he was just out to piss me off. With Hojo, it was never an easy guess.

The Heartless buried itself into the floor, moving in a circular pattern before emerging again, crawling erratically towards me. I studied it's movement for a moment - something I'd learned to do fairly quickly, after this long - and when the timing was right, gave it a swift kick to the head, sending it flying away.

If this is the future of Shinra's military, I thought with a weary scowl, Then the SOLDIER program is a janitor's training school.

The creature shook it's head briefly and hopped to it's feet, shambling over once again. It was unnerving; the Heartless had barely managed to scratch me more than five times within the hour, yet every hit I managed to connect was simply brushed aside.

The only thing promising about this bug is the fact that it's durable.

Is that what Hojo's testing?

"You look rather thoughtful there, Strife," Hojo commented suddenly, raising an eyebrow.

I sent a sideways glance in his direction, stepping to the left, away from another of the creature's jumping attacks. "I just didn't realize you liked kid's games so much," I mumbled, eyes narrowed. I was grateful of the sturdy boots I wore - at least Hojo let his subjects keep their clothes between experiments, even as he robbed them of their dignity - giving my assailant another swift kick. I had given up on using my fists; I didn't like the feel of the creature's skin when I hit it. It was a chilly feeling, almost numbing, as if the darkness joined with the monster's origins was somehow trying to spread over to me.

"Kid's games?" Hojo laughed, and I winced inwardly. I hated it when he laughed. Some men just shouldn't be allowed to laugh. "Are you simple, boy?"

Well somebody thinks so...

"These are tests for several purposes, most of which would clearly be beyond your grasp," my captor continued, ignoring my distracted glares as always. "But at the very core, I'm merely trying to determine how effective humans are against the Heartless without weapons."

"I hate to tell you," I replied without conviction, stumbling backwards as the Heartless circled me, "But your so-called great experiment isn't that strong."

"On the contrary," Hojo smirked. "The fact that the most simple of Heartless forms has been able to survive so many attacks from a Mako-enhanced human body is quite impressive."

I blinked. "Most simple?" I echoed, and it cost me a scratch on the leg. I cursed, kicking the creature away.

The scientist nodded, taking note of the exchange of blows and scribbling something on his clipboard. "There are many different forms. Much like animals who change colour or appearance to blend in with a new surrounding, they will shift from one form to another depending on the area... or even depending on the enemy they fight."

I gave my opponent a wary glance, more watchful from this new information. I hoped that didn't mean they could change anytime they wished. I really did not want to 'play tag' with something even bigger.

"Well now," Hojo announced then, tucking his pen in one of his jacket pockets, "I think that's enough observing for today. Call me when you get tired, will you, boy?"

"Er... Now?"

The scientist laughed at my dull-voiced question, giving me a thin smile before turning away. "Don't be ridiculous, Strife. You can easily continue the exercise for another hour, at least. If not, then it would be a small loss, wouldn't it?"

I scowled, edging away from the Heartless yet again, fists clenched at my sides. I wasn't about to die here - not until I found out exactly what was going on. The creature's antenna bobbed up and down, it's head curved to watch my movement. It lunged towards me, and I sighed inwardly.

It was going to be a long day.





I remained as Hojo's captive for about a month before his methods of experimentation changed drastically. The days seemed to grow longer, as the scientist spent more and more time in the lab, watching my reactions to whatever Mako treatments he was running on me, or just observing the Heartless creature. I never understand why he watched it so much; it's not like it ever did much of anything besides crawl around the cage, searching for a way to escape. It was painfully simple-minded, and if it wasn't out to kill me whenever Hojo ran his marathon testing, I might have felt sorry for it.

After the first month, though, I noticed a few minor, barely noticeable changes showing up. Hojo usually kept his labs well-lit; he liked to be able to see everything clearly, especially his specimens. The containers where I and the Heartless were held had always been bright. Even after Hojo left late at night, there were dim lights scattered around in case he needed to come back - something that was pretty infrequent in the past, but was starting to happen more often lately. And with these increased visits, the lights were no longer as strong as before. It wasn't long before only the after-hour lights were left on.

What disturbed me most, though, was that the Heartless creature seemed much stronger with the light so low.

At first I blamed it on myself; I was tired, or I couldn't see as well in the dim surroundings. Or maybe I was finally getting sick from the Mako treatments. But when I noticed that the creature's size had changed, impossibly, I knew there was a bigger connection.

Hojo knew it too, long before I did. Soon he had every light removed except those he needed to do his work.

The Mako infused in my eyes, as Hojo had promised during my first examination, adjusted well to the darkness, but I couldn't do anything to fend against the growing chills in the air. The scientist had changed the lab's temperature as well as the lighting - there were days when it was so frigid I could barely move. The shadow creature was unaffected, making Hojo's tests even more dangerous for me. It made me wonder why I was there, or what my purpose was in Hojo's plans. I couldn't see how getting me killed at the hands - or claws - of this Heartless could fulfill Sephiroth's request... whatever that was.

But one day, Hojo did something that even I didn't expect of him.





"What level have you mastered?"

I blinked awake at the voice, filtering softly from the hall outside the lab, and glanced up to see what was going on. Hojo opened the door a scarce moment later, followed closely by a younger man who was obviously not used to such a strange place. The man was barely three steps into the lab when his eyes caught sight of the two containment cells. I stared at him, my face blank, and for once, Hojo's assistant stared back.

He didn't look pleased, and I couldn't help but feel a thrill of hope.

"Excuse me," Hojo interrupted irritably. "Private Marlow?"

The man jumped, startled at his voice. "Yes sir?"

"My question?" The scientist's eyebrow lifted slightly.

Marlow fumbled with the odd-looking, metallic band around his wrist. "Er, only level 1, sir. They don't teach us more than that until we're promoted." His gaze drifted briefly towards my cage again, focusing on my clothes. He was obviously no stranger to the military; he knew a SOLDIER uniform when he saw one.

Hojo shrugged, continuing towards the two containers. "That will do. You see this creature here?" He gestured towards the Heartless. The man gulped visibly and nodded. "I'll need it frozen while we move it into the other specimen's cell. The lowest level is enough. I don't want it destroyed, understand?"

"Yes, sir." Marlow lifted his arms, the green orb in his armband glowing for a moment. Before the Heartless could react, a cloud of white appeared from below it, and in seconds it was encased in a prison of ice.

My eyes widened. Materia... of course. I had never seen it in action before; in fact, I'd never really seen it and understood what it was before...

Zack had Materia in his armour...

"It should be light enough to move," Hojo continued, patting the man's arm with a small smile. "Go on in and retrieve it for me, and your job will be finished."

The private seemed so anxious to get out of there, he didn't even notice the tiny, silver-red machine on his arm as he entered the container. My jaw dropped, but before I could even try to give a warning to the man, Hojo lifted his hand and activated it.

The explosion that followed was small, but the armband - and the Materia with it - was shattered, bits scattering throughout the cell. The man screamed, more startled than in pain, I imagined, and stumbled to the ground, clutching his arm. Hojo ignored him, punching in a code at the side panel to close off the entrance.

"Sir!" Marlow objected hoarsely, trying to get to his feet. "Sir, what are you doing?!"

"Don't worry, private," Hojo replied smoothly, hands clasped behind his back. "I know exactly what I'm doing."

The ice holding the Heartless captive suddenly began to crack, and all our eyes turned to watch. The soldier moved towards the shrapnel left behind in the explosion, searching for his Materia, but the compressed Mako sphere was beyond hope of repair or use. A corner of the ice broke away, and a claw writhed and struggled to release the rest of it's body.

I slammed a fist against the glass, eyes narrowed. "Hojo, dammit," I snapped, "Let him out!"

Marlow glanced at me, his expression filled with stark terror. Oh sure, I thought bitterly, Now he's regretting it. Now he wants help.

The man, realizing he would receive no help from either of us, reached for the gun he carried at his belt and frantically adjusted the settings, ensuring the ammunition was in it's proper slot. He pointed the weapon at the ice prison.

"Stop," Hojo snapped, and it took me a moment to realize it wasn't an order. Marlow halted his movement, frozen in place.

It was a spell...

Hojo drew closer to the glass container, chuckling to himself as he removed Materia of his own from his pocket. "Can't have you destroying my hard work, officer," he shrugged uncaringly, his eyes indescribably cold. "That would make me quite unhappy."

Oh, and it would just kill us to see you unhappy, you monster.

Marlow fought against the spell, but he obviously wasn't equipped against the scientist's mastered Time Materia, and all he managed to do was fall over. As he lay on the floor, eyes full of growing horror, the ice continued to shatter with each passing moment.

I clenched my eyes shut, unwilling to watch. The man was going to be mutilated if he wasn't able to avoid the creature's attacks. I had no desire to see someone die, especially like that.

However, when the ice broke completely and I heard the creature's feet hit the ground, I couldn't help but look up.

The Heartless surprised us both. Instead of immediately attacking the motionless soldier like a wild animal might, it circled him, antennae twitching as if analyzing it's victim.

Then, without hesitation or even a flicker of thought, it drew closer and plunged it's black claws into the man's chest.

Marlow screamed, the Stop spell shattering as the Heartless's fingers dug even further into his body. There was no blood - not even a tear in his clothes - but whatever the creature had done, it was obviously hurting.

I felt a lump form in my throat, and I punched the glass again, watching helplessly.

Then, without even a flicker of emotion in the unblinking golden eyes, the Heartless withdrew it's hand and pulled the man's heart from his chest.

A flash of light so strong it was painful filled the lab, and I squinted, struggling to follow what was happening. The soldier's body vanished, his cries fading with it, and only the heart remained - not a physical thing, but more of a crystalline symbol of something far more complex. A person's true essence; a soul? I couldn't even begin to try and understand. It hovered in the air for a moment, as if deciding what to do, then floated back to the ground, rotating as it fell.

And in another brief, aching flash of light, a second shadow appeared in its place.

My jaw dropped. No... no way...

"Incredible," Hojo breathed, so close to the glass his nose nearly touched it. "Just incredible."

The two Heartless stepped away from each other and looked up at us, heads ###### to one side, claws clenching and unclenching. I could see the same hunger in each set of golden eyes... hunger for our hearts.

Hojo glanced at me, a slow, wicked smile spreading across his face. His very expression glowed with a sense of victory.

"Experiment successful," he murmured, closing his eyes. "We'll... continue this tomorrow."

He spun on his heel then, heading towards the door and flicking off the remaining lights as he exited the lab.

My gaze drifted blindly through the dark, searching for an escape, even though it was becoming more and more out of reach with every passing moment. I couldn't think. I didn't want to think about what had just happened.

A man had just lost his life... become one of those...

Heartless...

I'm... I'm trapped. I'm a dead man in this lab.

Hojo's nuts, and... he's going to kill me.

I clenched my eyes shut, struggling to push away my bleak thoughts, to block out everything.

And eventually, the darkness fell even in my mind, and I was left with the sweet, merciful memories of better times.

Orange lilies...

Trapped inside like this, they don't live long, do they?


~*~*~

To be continued

~*~*~

AN: I really need to stop listening to KH music while I write this. Every time "Simple and Clean" plays I stop writing to sing along... ^^;;

Cloud's duels with the Heartless: Yes, I know our beloved Cloud could probably take out a Shadow in a single shot. But this Cloud is only 15, and despite Mako treatments, he doesn't really know how to deal with his opponent or his new strength. I'm also taking into consideration that as one of the originals, these early forms of Heartless would be much stronger than the usual, run of the mill Shadows we love to smack around on Destiny Islands. So naturally they'd give Cloud a bit of trouble at first. Just my two cents.

Next chapter - There's a fine line between madness and sanity. Can anyone pick up the pieces when an experiment goes wrong?

Reviewer Responses:

Koorino Megumi: You delinquent! Hehe. I'm glad you have such faith in Zack, too! That was hard to write. Poor Cloud, thinking everyone had turned against him.

Seishin Kibou: Was that a Kenshin reference I caught there? ^^;;

Kitty Kyinsky: Hm, good point. You never really see "sane" Sephiroth... that would definitely be fun, ^_^

Kanojo Miseru-to Kurai: First my internal organs are threatened, and now I'm potential dinner. And they say literature is a nice, safe hobby... although Cloud Pie does sound rather tempting.