Title: The Revolving Door

Author: Angie

Email: hill@grics.net

Disclaimers: CSI Crime Scene Investigation does not belong to me, they are the property of CBS, Alliance Atlantis, Jerry Bruckheimer and the wonderful actors who portray them. "I'll Stand By You" is by The Pretenders.

Author's Notes: Welcome to chapter 7. For those new to the lists, the first 6 chapters of this fic can be found at http//www.graveshiftcsi.com , as well as all of my other fics, and numerous fics by other G/C authors, I highly recommend it. Go to the graveyard to view the fics.

I really must thank Lauri for everything, from betaing to just being around when I need someone to vent on or bounce ideas. Thanks to everyone who has ever reviewed anything I've ever written, feedback is wonderful for a writer's imagination and when I'm really letting the writer's block get to me nothing makes me get back in the mood more then going back and reading old reviews.

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: Everything that has been aired in the US is fair game.

Distribution: The GraveshiftCSI Homepage… all others please ask.

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~~~

So if your mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now

~~~

Gil sat quietly on the bed next to Catherine for a few minutes, until he heard the door shut, signifying Warrick's exit.

Catherine turned her head as she felt the extra weight shifting off the bed, keeping her eyes on Gil as he slowly exited the room. "Stay with me."

He stopped at the door and turned at the sound of Catherine's voice. The pleading in her voice and the look on her face was enough to invoke anger and heartbreak in him at the same time. He started back towards Catherine but found himself stopping again. "I was just going to check the doors…" Gil stood frozen between the bed and the door, not sure what he should do, and watched Catherine so he could follow her move.

"Go check the doors. Just…"

"I'll be back as fast as possible, I promise."

Catherine watched as Gil left the room. She kept her eyes glued to the door as she waited for Gil to return to the room. 'One, two, three, four… control your breathing, he's coming back, don't panic.' Her speech wasn't working. Catherine could feel her body tensing the longer she was alone in the bedroom. "Hurry up, Gil," she muttered under her breath.

"Did you say something?" Gil replied as he walked around the corner returning to the bedroom.

Catherine could feel the color rising onto her cheeks. "Umm, no, not really."

Gil walked across the room and returned to his previous position on the side of the bed. "What do you want me to do?"

"What do you mean?"

"I have an extra set of blankets in the closet, I can go out on the couch. Or a sleeping bag, if you don't want to be alone."

"Stay with me… here in the bed."

Gil snapped his head around to look at Catherine. "Are you sure? I don't want to…"

"I'm sure. Positive. I just need someone to… well, be here."

Gil stood from the bed and went to the dresser, pulling out a t-shirt and pair of shorts. "Um, I can't sleep in this," Gil said as he indicated the clothes he had haphazardly thrown on that afternoon. Gil quickly unbuttoned the shirt he was wearing and slipped into the t-shirt. He began unbuttoning his pants and then stopped. "I'm sorry, I should…"

"It's all right."

Gil carefully read Catherine's face, making sure that her words matched her expression. After seeing that it was indeed all right, he quickly slid out of the pants he was wearing and into the shorts he had retrieved. He quickly moved into his restroom to place his clothes in the hamper, being sure to remain in Catherine's site. He turned to head back into the bedroom and took four steps before turning and grabbing the small bag of medicine that now took it's place on the counter next to Gil's sink. "Almost forgot that we need to get this antibiotic cream on your wrist," Gil said as he returned to the bedroom. Reaching the bedside, he placed the bag on the nightstand.

"Can't this wait until the morning?" Catherine said, cringing as she recognized the same tone in her voice that Lindsey would take when she was trying to get out of something.

"Four times a day, Cath. I promise I'll be gentle." Gil carefully sat on the bed and reached for Catherine's left arm. Carefully, he unwrapped the bandage then placed her wrist atop the bandage as he reached for the ointment. Turning around, he froze when he caught the look on Catherine's face. "Cath?"

Catherine tore her gaze away from her arm and looked towards Gil. "I'm sorry. I just… I haven't seen…" Catherine let her voice trail off as she glanced back to the wound on her arm. "That is going to leave an awful scar…"

"Cath, don't think like that. Once the healing has begun we can get some vitamin E oil to rub on your wounds. And there are scar reducing lotions available now. And if all else fails we can go to a plastic surgeon."

"We?" Catherine replied, turning her gaze back to Gil.

"Yes, we. I'm not going anywhere. And the only plans I have for the foreseeable future is to make sure that you are okay." Gil bent down and softly kissed her full lips, ending the kiss much sooner then he wanted. "Unfortunately, I need to get that dressing put back on your arm. I'll be as gentle as possible, but I'm not sure I can get the ointment on without causing some pain."

"It's all right. Let's just get it over with." Catherine watched as Gil again reached for the tube of ointment and squeezed out a generous portion of the cream. "Gil, you don't need…"

"The directions say to apply liberally. So that's what I intend to do. Do you want to watch or would you rather not?"

Catherine thought about her choices for a minute. "I'll watch."

"Are you sure? It's okay if…"

"I'm sure, Gil. It's just something I need to do." She explained lamely, not entirely sure how to explain her reasons.

Wordlessly, Gil quickly began the wound treatment that would soon become a routine in their lives. After he finished taping the bandages back around her arm, he looked back to Catherine's face. The tears that were escaping her eyes was breaking his heart. To know that he was the cause of this pain, the one thing he told himself he would never inflict on her, was almost more then he could take.

"Don't," Catherine said before Gil could voice what was on his mind. "This isn't your fault, so don't feel guilty. I need you right now, more then I've ever needed anyone before…" she softly admitted, and hoped that she wouldn't have to continue. She saw his face softening and watched as his hand rose to her face and began wiping away the trail of tears.

Gil removed his hand from Catherine's face and reluctantly rose and stepped away. "I'm just going to put these medicine's back in the bathroom," he explained. He quickly completed the task and returned to the room, making his way to the other side of the bed and began climbing in when a thought came to mind. "You don't mind that side of the bed do you? I didn't even think about asking when we helped you into bed. I'm sure I could…"

"Gil!"

"What?"

"It's fine," she replied with a smile. "You know me, I would have said something if it wasn't all right."

Gil let the subject drop, realizing that Catherine was correct. He settled into the bed, turning onto his side so he could watch her.

Minutes had passed and neither had said a word, both just watching the other. "Are you just going to watch me all night?" Catherine asked, the silence finally causing her to break down.

"Not all night, just until you fall asleep." He replied simply.

"So you're going to watch me all night."

"Cath, are you sure you don't want to try those sleeping pills? You need to get some sleep."

"I don't want to sleep. If I close my eyes I'm going to relive what happened…I can't do that, not now. It's too fresh in my mind."

Gil closed his eyes for a second, trying to get his feelings back under control, needing to remain strong. "Then, I guess I'm going to be watching you all night. Do you want to talk? About anything?"

~~~

Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you
~~~

"Anything?" Catherine smiled as she saw Gil nod his head in affirmation. It had been a long time since the two of them really talked, and she couldn't help the smile that formed at the thought that there just might be a silver lining to the storm cloud that found it's way into her life that day. "Are you sure you want to do this? We haven't talked in a long time… I mean personally talked. I may have a few questions stored up."

He looked into her eyes and immediately knew what she was implying. "As long as you don't mind me asking some questions of my own. It's been a long time, and we need to talk about some things in the past if we are going to be able to have a future…" He stopped abruptly. Looking at Catherine, he could tell she knew exactly what he was going to say.

"I thought we…"

"Decided not to talk about everything?" Gil continued when he saw Catherine's nod. "I don't want the actions we've taken in the past year to come between our future. I know I couldn't live with that, could you?"

"Where do we start?" Catherine asked, moving her hand over to place it in Gil's.

"Anywhere you wish."

"How long did you know about your hearing before you finally told me?"

She started with the question Gil knew had been on her mind since he revealed his secret. "Almost a year." He whispered, closing his eyes and waiting for her angry reply. Slowly he opened his eyes as her silence continued. The hurt on her face was unmistakable.

"You know I would have been there for you don't you? Of course you do… so that can't be it. Did you think if you ignored the facts it wouldn't be true?" She paused, waiting for the answer she knew he wouldn't reveal. "So what made you finally tell me?"

"You mean besides the fact that you had called me on it earlier?"

"Gil…"

"I finally realized it was happening, no matter how much I tried to hide. I guess it just took me a while to admit to myself that I was losing my hearing. How long had you been suspecting I was having problems?"

"The Haviland case is when I first clued in that something was wrong. But I convinced myself that if it was anything serious you would tell me. So I kept my suspicions to myself. As time went by I realized I was correct. That's probably when I started pulling back."

"I can understand that, but what about Eddie?"

"What about Eddie?" She asked, confused at the change in subject.

"That night, I went to you. I…"

"'You went to me'?"

"At the lab. I told you I'd heard about Eddie and Lindsey and you just blew me off. Shrugged away from me. And then left me standing in the hallway to watch you accepting comfort from Nick and Warrick." Even thinking about the moment now hurt Gil, to remember just how far they had drifted apart.

"I knew I could remain in control with them. The two of us are remarkably similar in that respect, not wanting to show our weaknesses. You would have broken through my walls, and I couldn't let that happen… not at work." She tightened her hand in Gil's, drawing from the comfort of having him near. "If I had known this was all it took to finally get in your bed…"

"Don't. Don't even joke about…"

"I'm sorry. Bad taste. I'm glad you're here though."

Gil looked down on Catherine. His eyes memorizing the marks on her face. His free hand moved to her face, carefully retracing the journey his eyes had just completed. He watched her eyes close, and let the emotions come to his face, rapidly blinking back the tears that threatened to fall as he thought of how lucky she had truly been that day.

"Catherine, why didn't you tell us about," Gil paused trying to collect his thoughts. "Why didn't you tell us about the seminal fluid?"

Her eyes flew open at Gil's question. "I…well, I just…"

"Tell me the truth, Catherine!" The anger in his voice was unmistakable.

"Keep your voice down," she whispered with just as much anger as Gil possessed. "I didn't remember okay! I still don't know how…I…maybe I did lose consciousness, or blocked it out. I just don't know." She stopped talking as the tears overcame her.

He wanted to reach out to her, hold her in his arms, but her injuries forbade him that simple gesture. Slowly he brought his hand up, smoothing her hair as he bent down to kiss away her tears. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up." He continued whispering words of comfort as he tried to console Catherine.

"Can you grab me a tissue, please?" Catherine asked, as her tears slowly came to an end. She watched as Gil complied with her wishes, after convincing himself that she was ok for the time being. "I'm sorry you had to see that…"

"I'm not. You needed that Cath, and I'm glad I was here for you. I will always be here for you." He said as he returned to the bed with the box of tissues, handing one to Catherine. "Do you still want to talk?"

"Are you sure you're ready?"

"I wouldn't have asked otherwise."

"I don't think I have ever been more scared in my life. I wasn't sure what he was going to do, and I couldn't stop him. I tried to stop him and I couldn't." Catherine stopped and tool a deep breath, trying to calm herself before continuing. "He was going to rape me, Gil. And I don't even know who…how am I supposed to trust anyone again? Every man I meet I'm going to wonder if it was him. If he is the man who…"

"We are going to get him, Cath. I promise you."

"You can't promise me that, Gil. We don't even know if there is any evidence, if there is any trace…"

Gil interrupted before she could say anything else. "Listen to me. No matter what it takes, how long it takes, I will get him. I am not going to let you be scared for the rest of your life. The evidence is there, I am sure."

Catherine let Gil's words soothe her fears, even if it would be a temporary relief. "Can we just… not talk anymore? At least not tonight."

"Anything you want."

The two remained in silence, both watching the other and taking comfort in each other's presence. Gil watched as Catherine's eyes started to droop. Slowly turning over, he reached for the light switch, stopping at the sound of her voice.

"Leave them on. I know it's silly but I don't want to be in the dark right now."

Gil turned back to his previous position and returned to watching Catherine. He could tell the soft circles his thumb was making on her palm was having the desired effect on her. He continued watching as her eyes closed and she gave into the exhaustion and medication that was effecting her body.

~~~

When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'Cause even if you're wrong

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

~~~

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to be continued