"It's alright, I'm your friend, Megan..."
If there's even a small chance that I could've broken my heart even further, it was now. I smiled down at Athrun, tears going down my face. He sat up, smiling. "Thank-you, Miss. Megan. I'm sorry to have worried you. I know this must be strange to ask, but I feel like I've lost something. A second ago...I can't remember. Do you know what it is?" I smiled and helped him up.
"No, I'm sorry. I think it was just a nightmare. I came here because I heard you crying in your dreams. You look like you haven't slept in days. I leave you to get some rest. You can sleep in my room tonight. Is that ok? I'll go over to Lacus's house." Athrun smiled, still confused.
"I don't mean to push you out of your room or anything. I'm sure Lacus wouldn't mind to have me back. I told her I'd come back after I did something. I can't quite remember what it is though. But, thank-you for offering me. I'll be sure to clean things up in the morning." I nodded, usually I'd smile to make them feel good but I just left, without saying another word.
When I finally made it to Lacus's door, I rang the bell. Lacus ran up to the door. I fell into her arms. "He forgot! I made him forget! He wanted to remember! I couldn't handle it, Lacus! I'm sorry, I just couldn't!" I wept on her shoulder. She hugged made, stroking my back in comfort. I needed it, I was broken. "I'm in love with him! I love him enough to give up my life! I don't want him to love me anymore! I don't want him to die again! I couldn't bear to see him hurt again! I shouldn't have told him who I was! I shouldn't have cut my hair! I should've stayed the way I was, at least then he wouldn't have had to get hurt like that! He was dying! He tried so hard to remember that it was killing him! I'm so scared! Lacus,you don't know how sorry I am!"
Lacus held onto me tightly. For the first time ever, I see tears, tears in the eyes of the pink haired princess. She was sorry for me. I couldn't bear it! "Lacus, please, don't worry! I don't want anyone to cry about me! I don't want to make anyone sad! Please, don't cry for me! Please, Lacus, stop!" Lacus tried to stop; I just made her even sadder.
Kira ran from out of his room, still in his bathrobes. "Cagalli! Lacus! Are you ok!" I looked up from Lacus's shoulder. "Cagalli..."
I fell down to my knees. Lacus turned around, in tears. "Kira, I can't stop her tears! It makes me so sad, I can't stop her crying! I can't stop it! Kira...! She's so sad...I never knew anyone could feel so sad." Kira went over and knelt next to me.
"What's wrong, Cagalli? Are you-" I stopped him, looking up.
"I don't want to hurt anyone anymore! I don't want to be a burden! I made Athrun forget me! I don't want...I'm so selfish! Kira, please, help Lacus, I'm fine. Please, tell me you don't care about me! Tell me that I'm not going to be a burden to you! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Kira wrapped his arms arm me. I tried to push away, but he held tighter.
He spoke in a soft, kind voice. "It's ok, I like caring for my sister. I like it to be able to be there for you and be your brother, remember? Lacus is right, it isn't good for you to be so sad." I hugged him back. I wanted to be comforted, just for one last time. "Now, tell me, why are you so sad?"
"Because my heart has been broken twice in the same place. I can't handle the pain. I feel so guilty now; I've lost my old self. I've lost Athrun, the one person who could have made me back the way I was. I was stupid enough to make him remember too fast. He was hurting, hurting so much, trying to remember me hurt him so much. I felt my heart being pulled from me, seeing how sad he was, trying to find me. He was dying! I knew the only way for him not to die, was to forget me! I told him...told him to forget. All about me. He did. But then I saw his eyes. They were sad! They were lonely! And I couldn't be there to comfort him and fill that space. I had to tell him my name was Megan, and that I was only his friend. I won't be able to hear him say my name...ever again.
"He asked me what was missing, why he felt so lonely. I told him it was all just a nightmare. He didn't smile. I couldn't smile for him. I'm the reason he feels like that in the first place. I don't think he'll ever have the chance to find a wife again. I've also ripped his heart. I'm sorry; I hurt you friend, Kira. Can you ever forgive me?" Kira just held onto me. We were all silent. Lacus was still crying, Kira got up and went over to comfort Lacus. She hugged him. He kissed her and the cheek and told her it was going to be all right.
Lacus offered for me to stay over for the night. I thanked her and the three of us didn't say much after that.
I woke up the next morning, feeling drowned. I didn't want to get up, but I did anyway. I walked down the steps, trying to be quiet. I didn't want to wake anyone. When Ifinally reached the bottom floor I saw that Kira and Lacus were already awake. They both said good-morning. I didn't answer and sat down with them. Lacus offered me some tea, but I declined. "I guess I'm getting married in four days. I thought to invite you two, if that's alright?" Lacus continued pouring the tea.
"Are you sure? Are you really going to go through with this?" I nodded.
"No one's stopping me. I've lost Athrun. Why not? It doesn't make me feel any worse anyway. Besides, then I will be able to show I'm confident in being a leader. It will be nice to have you too there, so I won't be lonely. But, I don't want to push it on you guys or anything." Lacus smiled and nodded.
"We're coming, we'll be there to keep you company." I smiled, for once. I thought I was going to have to be alone in this wedding. It would be nice to know both Kira and Lacus were going to back me up. Athrun would be happy, I would be proud. Things will go the way I wanted them to go. Yuuna was going to have me as his wife, but I would still go on living my life the way I want and completely ignore him. It was nice hearing people say I had courage. Truth was, it was hard having courage. It wasn't easy.
When I walked up the last stairs to my room, I saw the door open. "Good-morning, Miss. Megan. Did you get your rest?" I flinched. Of all names, why did I choose my dead grandmother's? Now I'm going to have to listen to Athrun talking kindly about a dead person like she was alive. And he'd think he was talking about me. As if things weren't bad enough already. After waiting for four seconds without my answering him, he continued. "Thank-you for lending me your room. It was awfully nice. I think I have to go back to Lacus now. I need to ask her some more questions. Is that alright with you? I'm just leaving you like this."
I wanted to tell him to stay, so he could at least give me a comforting hug of a friend. Any hug of his was wonderful. But instead he walked past me and gave a wave while walking. I just smiled at him and walked into my room. On the bed was the flower, the yellow flower. I walked over slowly to my bed. Starring at it for a while. All I saw was the stem...the peddle had been erased. What did this mean? "Oh no." I said, picking up the flower. The first peddle had signified my name...now he had forgotten it. It all made sence. He had remembered my name and when he finally got a picture of me in his head with one of the memories, he lost all of it, including my name. Does this mean that there's an even smaller chance that he'll remember me?
I sat down on the bed. I also found the blue flower. On it, there was also a peedle gone. On the paper, there was tiny writing. It said, "I'm sorry...I tried..." This didn't make sense...wait. So he rememberedthe flower? Didn't that me that he remembered the newmemories me? When i had told him to forget about me, I ment the oldmemories of me, never the new ones.The old me was completely out of his memories, yes, but at least he remembered the way I am now.
I cried, cried because I was both sad and happy. Sad, because Athrun was never going to remember the old me and help me be myslef. Happy, because Athrun still remembered the way I am now. Will we be able to be together now? No. Not unless Athrun stops me before the wedding. I can't run out of this now. I have no choice. In three days I'm getting married to a man named Yuuna.
As I sat there thinking, I saw a familiar maid outfit walk into the room. "Good morning, my dear Princess. How are you doing today?" I smiled, putting the paper with the rose down.
"Fine, I guess." The maid sighed and nodded.
"I heard about what happened. Miss. Lacus told me all about it. It must be very hard on you." She walked over and sat down on the bed next to me. She was about my age, a little older. She was like the only friend I could talk to right now. She was very kind and genorous. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know he forgot you. I kept on pushing you too fast. If i hadn't dressed you up for the meating, he wouldn't have remembered too soon and everything would've gone alright."
"No, I'm happy you helped me. He still remembers the new me. But, I don't have any chance of him remembering the old me. Now he'll be able to remember me in the beautiful dress you gave me. I should be thanking you. Not blaming you. Besides, now I'm getting married to Yuuna. It's up to Athrun to remember me or not...I'm too scared to hurt him like that again. By the way, I never got the chance to ask your name." She blinked, staring at me.
"I'm sorry, I thought I already told you, It's Angela. so, do you want me to call you Miss. Megan, or Miss Cagalli?" She asked teasingly.
I punched her on the shoulder. "Ow!"
"Well yeah! You deserved it." We both burst out laughing. It felt like medicine. I laughed so long, I thought I couldn't stop. I don't know why, it wasn't all that funny. I was just so happy, now that I found out Athrun didn't forget me, at least, not exactly. We spent the night together. It was fun, Angela told me all bout her and her family. She had a little brother and a little sister about as old as me. She also told me she had decided to become a maid because of all these cute guys she saw around here. Then her tone went down.
"I also lost my boyfriend. You're lucky yours actually came back. He also didn't want to be a part in this war. His father threatened him and so he went. He died on his first try. It's sad, we were planning on getting married. I was his fiance'..."She paused. I gave her a hug and she cried on my shoulder. It was nice for once not to be the one crying, but to be the one to comfort.
(Two days later, Day before wedding.)
I haven't seen Athrun in a while. I think he's decided to stay at the orphanage and figure things out a bit. I don't really know. AllI know is that here I was, standing in the weding dress, waiting for the women to finnish knitting the sides together. My hair looked bettern short. I keep seeing Yuuna walk into the room. putting his arms around my waist, to keep me steady. Yeah right. I hate the guy even more now. He even calls me, 'Cagalli love'. I hate that. He bearly even knows me, yet, he calls me that. I liked Athrun's way better. Athrun was more 'polite'. Speaking of polite, the guy acts like he don't even know the word, 'polite'.
Angela couldn't make it, apearently Yuuna didn't want me to be distracted by my friends while he talks to me. I missed Angela, I hadn't seen her since that night. All I thought right then in my head was, please Athrun, remember...
Nooooo! The story is almost over! I need ideas, peoplez! Ok, I thought about having some funny parts in the story. I don't know if I should they, this story is supposed to be tradegy, humor. But the way. My story is in confusing places, if you havn't noticed. I keep on checking on it to see if it's actually updated, then...you get it. go in this order... "Publish date' 'Romance' 'rated K' 'Athrun Z.' 'Cagalli. Y. A.' '10, 000 words' Thank-you for the reviews people! I'll try to make the story a lil bit more cheerlful, it's actually getting to me. Hope you like this new chap! Keep reading, the next chap might be the last! Bye! Xoxo, Daisygirly. ) !