Title: The Revolving Door
Author: Angie
Email: hill@grics.net
Disclaimers: CSI Crime Scene Investigation does not belong to me, they are the property of CBS, Alliance Atlantis, Jerry Bruckheimer and the wonderful actors who portray them.
Author's Notes: Welcome to chapter 8. For those new to the lists, the first 7 chapters of this fic can be found at http://www.graveshiftcsi.com I highly recommend the site, at last count you could indulge yourself in 1005 G/C fics.
Many many thanks to Marianne for betaing this (trust me... it needed help). Lots of thanks to Laeta for continually pushing me to my 500 words. Thanks to everyone who has ever reviewed anything I've ever written, feedback is wonderful for a writer's imagination and when I'm really letting the writer's block get to me nothing makes me get back in the mood more then going back and reading old reviews.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Everything that has been aired in the US is fair game.
Distribution: The GraveshiftCSI Homepage
*~*~*~*~*
Gil rolled over slowly, opening his eyes to strange surroundings as memories of the last twenty four hours filled his mind. Looking down, he could easily read the emotions flickering across Catherine's face. He brushed the hair from her eyes, watching her muscles relax with his touch. The combination of the morning light and time made the bruises more noticeable then the previous night.
Looking at the clock on the dresser, Gil quietly rolled out of bed and left the room. He checked the guest room and smiled as Lindsey waved at him.
"What are doing up, kiddo?" Gil asked as he walked into the room. He moved closer to the bed and opened his arms.
Lindsey pushed the covers down and jumped into Gil's arms. "How's mom?"
"She's still sleeping. What do you want for breakfast?" Gil hoped his question would dissuade Lindsey asking any more questions about Catherine for a while, at least until she had woken up and Gil had a better idea of how she was feeling.
"Do you know how to make French toast?"
Gil nodded and he carried Lindsey to the kitchen, setting her onto one of the stools that lined the island counter. Getting out the ingredients, he cracked the eggs into a bowl and added some milk before bringing the bowl to Lindsey. "Do you want to mix this for me?"
She nodded and took the whisk from Gil's hand.
Gil turned from Lindsey and began pulling out the table setting for the three of them. Quickly arranging the table, he turned to watch Lindsey. "How are you doing, Sweetie?"
"I'm fine."
"Do you like orange juice?" He grabbed the juice from the refrigerator and had just taken three glasses out of the cabinet when a blood curdling scream came from the bedroom. "Shit!" Gil dropped the glasses at the sudden noise and looked down at the shards at his feet. "Stay where you are Lindsey. I don't want you stepping on this glass and hurting yourself. I'll be right back." Gil ran down the hall, coming to a sliding stop in the doorway to his bedroom.
Catherine's head was thrashing back and forth, tears streaming down her face. "Please, don't touch me."
He quickly crossed the room, pulling Catherine into his embrace once he reached the bed. "It's all right Cath. It's Gil. Open your eyes, your all right." He continued to whisper to her as he stroked her hair.
Her sobs slowly subsided as Gil's words began to sink into her mind. She clung tighter to Gil, the pain in her mind outweighing the pain in her body. "Gil…"
"It's all right, Cath. I'm not going anywhere."
They sat in silence. Neither feeling the need to say anything else. Gil pulled back slightly when he heard Catherine's moan.
"Let me get you some more pain pills."
"I hate those pills. The pain goes away, but I hate the doped up feeling. Can I try just one pill?"
Gil didn't reply, he just scooted out of the bed, intent on retrieving a glass of water so she could take the medicine. He placed his foot on the floor and quickly pulled it back up. "Shit!"
"Are you all right? Let me see?"
Gil looked at his foot and then back at the floor, seeing the bloody footprints leading to his bed. "I must have stepped on some glass in the kitchen."
Catherine quickly stepped into her mother role. "Get your foot up here so I can see it." She took his foot and carefully placed it in her lap, being careful to avoid her own injuries. "Can you hand me that box of tissues?" She took the box and pulled out a tissue, carefully dabbing at the blood on Gil's foot. "Just stay still, this wont take long once I clean up your foot and figure out where the glass actually is." Making quick work of the task, she picked the few shards of glass out of Gil's foot and applied pressure to the areas that were bleeding.
"You're done?" Gil asked when he felt her fingertips press into his foot. "How did you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Get the glass out of my foot without it hurting?"
"Lots of practice. Linds steps on everything. I can spend two hours vacuuming the floor after she breaks a glass, she is still going to end up stepping on a piece of it. Where is she?"
"Whisking the eggs. I'm making French toast for us. Do you feel up to joining us, or do you want to stay in here?"
"Actually I need… can you…" Catherine blushed, not sure how to ask the question.
"It's not a problem, Cath." Gil knew exactly what she was trying to ask. He carried her into the restroom and then stopped, still holding her in his arms. "Where do you want me to… I mean what do you…"
"Just set me down. I should be able to stand on my left leg and balance myself for a minute or two."
Gil lowered Catherine from his grasp. Once her foot hit the floor he slowly released her, giving her time to get her balance. "I'll go check on Lindsey, then I'll be right back. Holler if you need anything."
Catherine nodded, and watched as Gil shut the door behind him.
*~*~*~*
Gil returned to the kitchen, surprised to see Warrick standing at the stove. "What are you doing here?"
"I thought you might need someone to take Lindsey to school."
"Thanks. Did you sweep up the glass? You didn't have to do that."
"It wasn't a problem. I guessed what happened when I saw the glass, and Linds confirmed my thoughts. How is she?"
Gil turned back to check on Lindsey, who was hurriedly eating her breakfast. "She's fine, it was just a nightmare. Let me get another plate. Cath will be joining us soon, if she's still feeling all right." Gil quickly got a plate out for Warrick and grabbed another glass, filling it with water. "I'll be right back, I'm going to see if she needs any help and make sure she takes a pain pill." Gil took the glass of water with him as he left the room.
*~*~*~*
"You all right in there?" Gil asked as he knocked on the door to his bathroom.
"Yeah." Catherine winced as she heard the uneasiness in her own voice, and new Gil would pick up on it right away.
"Can I come in?"
"No! I mean, I just… let me try this myself first, Gil." Catherine remained seated, trying to work the rest of the shirt over head. Sighing, she gave up a few minutes later. "Gil…"
He opened the door, and had to bite his tongue not to laugh at Catherine's situation. She had somehow managed to get both of her arms and her head stuck in the shirt.
"Don't laugh, Gil. I'm stuck and it's not funny."
"I'm sorry." Gil walked closer to Catherine, fully taking in the scene before him. "How did you…? Never mind." He set the glass down on the sink and quickly moved to help. In a few minutes he had managed to retrieve her left hand from the confines of the shirt, and moved to her other arm. "Hold still, you're going to get yourself stuck again." Another few minutes and Gil had freed her.
Catherine looked up at Gil, her cheeks reddening from the embarrassment.
"Don't be embarrassed. You're not used to the limited movements and bandages yet. We will just make sure you don't wear any shirts you need to pull over your head." Looking down, Gil gasped as he saw the bruises covering her upper body. His hand instinctively reached out, his fingers trailing down her side. "If I ever get my hands on…"
"Don't Gil. Don't say anything, don't do anything. I just need you right now. I can't get through this on my own, and you know how much I hate to need anyone."
Gil nodded, knowing exactly what it meant for Catherine to admit she needed him. "I'm sorry, Cath."
"You don't have to apologize. Can you hand me a wash cloth?"
"Let me get your soap, too. It's out in the bedroom." Gil left the room and returned a minute later with the toiletries Warrick had brought over the night before. Taking a wash cloth from the cabinet, he moved back to Catherine. He filled the sink with warm water and dipped the towel in the water, ringing out the excess fluid before squeezing on the soap. "Can I?" Gil asked as he worked the soap into a lather. When she nodded, he gently moved the cloth over her back, avoiding the ace bandage still tightly wrapped around her midsection. He moved to her left arm next, being careful to avoid the bandages on her wrists. "Remind me to put some more cream on this when we are done in here." Reaching for another cloth, he dipped it into the water, rinsing the lather from her back and arm. He moved to stand in front of her, his eyes once again taking in the bruises that spotted her torso. Under normal circumstances, the vision of Catherine sitting before him practically naked from the waste up would be a dream come true. But these weren't normal circumstances. The hand shaped bruises over her breasts caused his stomach to churn. The nausea became more intense as his mind replayed his visions of what Catherine had gone through.
"Are you all right?" Catherine asked, reaching her hand out to touch his face.
"That should be my line, not yours."
"You went through…"
"No I didn't, Catherine. Don't even think it."
"Gil, we both know that in a rape case the entire family is effected, not just the person who was physically attacked. I wasn't raped, but we both heard the doctor. Maybe we are all going to behave as if I was."
"But we aren't…"
"Family? Gil, we may not be married, but we're family. We were a family before we started dating, and these last few months have only made us closer."
"I wasn't going to say family…well maybe I was. But I didn't mean that I don't think of you as my family. It's just… I don't know."
Catherine reached for the wash cloth, but Gil moved it out of her reach.
"I'm all right. If you don't mind, I'd like to continue." He resumed his previous actions when Catherine again nodded.
Catherine sat still as Gil ran the wash cloth over her body. Her eyes followed his movements the entire time. She refused to show any emotion when he came into contact with the more sensitive bruises and lacerations. Despite his protests, Catherine knew that Gil was not all right. His eyes revealed so much more then he was aware, and she rarely had a problem reading his mind. She knew that as much as she needed him now, he also needed her to need him.
"Gil?" Catherine waited until he had his full attention. "We should probably hurry a little. Lindsey's out there, and you're going to have to leave pretty soon to get her to school."
"Warrick's here."
"What?"
"Warrick's here," he repeated. "He thought we might need someone to take Lindsey to school, so he stopped by after shift."
"I want to see Lindsey before she leaves. I can get my legs later."
Gil quickly finished rinsing the rest of her upper body. He took two of the pain pills out of the bottle and handed them to Catherine, along with the water. "Don't protest. I know you're in pain. I'll go find a shirt." He left the room once again and returned minutes later with one of his white dress shirts. "Sorry. I couldn't find anything that buttoned down in your bag. I'll look closer later, I'm sure Warrick brought a few."
"That's all right." Catherine tried to take the shirt from Gil, but he moved it out of her reach.
"We need to put the cream on that arm first. It will probably be easier if we don't have to hold the sleeve out of the way." He quickly removed the bandage covering her arm, and using a clean wash cloth, gently washed the wound before reapplying the medicine and bandage. Once finished, he helped Catherine get the shirt on and started to button the shirt.
"Gil? I can get this myself."
"Sorry. I guess I got a little carried away."
Catherine smiled as she finished buttoning the shirt, and pushed the sleeves up on the shirt. "It's all right. Sometimes a girl likes to have a man take care of her, and I'm no exception. But I don't want to start relying on you too much. I need to try and do as much as possible for myself."
"I know you think you do. When I go overboard just let me know, and I'll return the favor." Gil bent down and pulled Catherine into his arms. "You hungry?" He asked as he carried her towards the kitchen. "Warrick took over the cooking, so it should be ready by now." Gil came to a stop when he reached the kitchen, both smiling at the scene before them.
Lindsey was talking animatedly, entertaining Warrick in a tale the two had heard numerous times in the past. She stopped talking when she sensed her audience had grown, and turned to see Gil and Catherine in the doorway. "Mommy!" Lindsey jumped up and ran over to Gil.
"Just a minute, Linds. Let me get settled first, okay Sweetie?"
Gil set Catherine down in the chair, and pulled back, allowing Lindsey to step closer to her mother.
"How do you feel? You look worse then you did yesterday."
Catherine shook her head. Lindsey's bluntness was something she loved, most of the time. "I feel a little better. And you know bruises get worse before they start looking better. Just wait until they start turning yellow and green on me, I'll be scaring everyone by then."
Lindsey laughed and wrapped her arms around Catherine. "No you wont. You'll never scare me and Uncle Grissom away."
"That's good to know. So how was breakfast? Am I going to like it?"
"It was great! Of course, Uncle Grissom had everything ready before he went to help you. So all Uncle Warrick had to do was cook it."
It was at that moment that Warrick placed a plate of piping hot French toast on the table. "But I didn't burn it."
"You better start getting ready for school, Lindsey." Gil knew if he didn't say something soon, the little girl would try to stay in the kitchen with the adults as long as possible. He watched as Lindsey ran down the hallway to the guestroom.
Once Lindsey was gone Gil and Warrick both sat at the table and the three adults began to eat.
"Thanks for coming over."
"It wasn't any problem, Cath. I was pretty sure the two of you wouldn't have completely thought out the details of how Lindsey was going to get to school, and I'm up anyway." Warrick shrugged and reached for another piece of French toast.
"That doesn't mean we don't appreciate it any less. The last thing on my mind last night was how Lindsey was going to get to school this morning."
"Can I ask the two of you a question?" Warrick broke in, before Catherine could say anything else. When neither of them said anything he continued. "Are you two…seeing each other? As in dating?"
Gil looked at Catherine, wanting to see if she wanted to answer. At her slight nod he answered. "Yes."
"How long? And why didn't you tell me?"
"We didn't tell anyone, it wasn't just you we kept this from. And we've only been dating for a few months now."
When Gil paused, Catherine jumped in, starting where he left off. "At first we just wanted to wait and see what happened. We've been friends so long it just seemed like a natural step to start dating. But it was also frightening. We didn't know what would happen if the relationship failed, and neither of us wanted the extra pressure of having everyone else know about us. So we kept things quiet. It was pretty easy to do until yesterday."
"At least Lindsey knew to call me."
"Wait a minute…" Warrick paused, trying to think out how to word his question. "Lindsey knew to call you… so she knew you wouldn't be in the house with Cath… and I didn't see any of your…"
"I know where your going, Warrick. Just don't go there. The way we handle our relationship is our business. Besides we have Lindsey to consider, she just lost her father, and it isn't right to try and force myself into her life right now."
"No more questions. But how about a comment? I'm happy for the two of you. I've noticed that you been happier lately. And, Gil… you may not see it, but that little girl in there adores you. You don't have to worry about forcing yourself into her life, you're already in it."
Before anyone could say anything else, Lindsey came barreling back down the hallway, her blonde hair streaming behind her. "Mommy, can you French braid my hair? Everyone is wearing their hair braided today with our pink shirts."
Catherine looked down at the cast on her arm and tried closing her fingers. "I can try, baby. But I think this cast is going to get in the way. If I can't get it French braided, maybe we can just pull it back into a braid. Would that be all right?"
Lindsey nodded her head in agreement, but her disappointment was clearly evident to everyone in the room.
Catherine took the brush from Lindsey and started running it through her hair. The motions of her arm put a strain on her ribs, but she refused to give in to the pain.
"Cath, why don't you let me brush her hair while you finish your meal." Gil knew she was in pain, no matter how hard she tried to hide it. He had broken a rib himself years ago, and just the process of breathing had been painful.
Catherine hesitated. Her favorite times of the day were those she spent with Lindsey, and she loved their morning 'girl talks' they had while she brushed her daughter's hair. Reluctantly she agreed with Gil's request, the pain in her body overtaking the pain in her heart. She handed the brush to Gil and watched as he took over her place.
Warrick watched the three people in front of him. It was obvious that Gil and Catherine were hiding their feelings, from each other and Lindsey. And he knew Lindsey wasn't telling them how scared she really was; she had told him that much before Gil and Catherine came out of the bedroom. He knew he was going to have to tell Catherine what Lindsey was feeling, and that was going to cause her even more pain. Looking down at his watch, he noticed the time and began to stand up. "We better get going Lindsey. It takes a bit longer to get to your school from here."
Gil finished wrapping the elastic around Lindsey's hair and watched as she jumped up, running into the living room. He grimaced when he saw her hair, which was done in what might loosely be called a braid. He turned to Catherine with a sheepish grin on his face. "Sorry. I've never braided anyone's hair before."
"I guessed that, Gil."
"Do you want me to fix it?"
"She'll be fine. I'm sure she won't even notice…" Catherine stopped as Lindsey came back into the room, her backpack over a shoulder. "Lindsey, what did I tell you about that?"
"Sorry, mom." Lindsey pulled the bag onto her other shoulder and wrapped her arms around Catherine's neck. "I love you."
"I love you too, sweetie. Be good today and wait there after school, we'll come and pick you up."
"Are you sure you can? I can get a ride home with…"
"No. All your friends live too far from here. If Gil and I don't pick you up we'll call the school and let you know." Catherine loosened her grip and let Lindsey pull away. "Have fun at school today."
"I will." Lindsey quickly kissed her mother before turning to Gil and giving him a hug. "Thanks for taking care of my mom. I love you."
Warrick watched the scene before him unfold, with just as much shock on his face as there was on the other adults. He always knew that Gil was close to the little girl, well as close as Gil was to anyone, but he never imagined that he would witness the scene that had just played out. Feeling as though he was intruding on the family moment, he cleared his throat reminding the others that he was still in the room. "You ready to leave, Linds?"
Catherine watched as Lindsey followed Warrick out of the house. Once the door closed, she turned back to Gil, the shocked look still reflected in his eyes. "That was unexpected."
"I'm sure it's just because I was there yesterday."
"No it isn't, Gil. You've always been there for us, and she knows that. Don't sell yourself short." Catherine stopped abruptly, watching Gil with interest as he comprehended the words she had just said. "You do know how much you mean to me, don't you?"
"I do. Of course I do. It's just… I never expected Lindsey to say that."
"There's nothing like the love of a child is there?"
Gil smiled. The shock completely disappearing as it was replaced with delight. "I can see why you like it so much. I've never been on this end of that feeling before." Gil reached out, placing his hand on Catherine's. "You've done a wonderful job with her. Have I told you that? I don't know how you manage to work all the time and still raise a daughter on your own."
"Gil?"
"Hmm?"
"Can we change the subject? You know I love talking about Linds… but with everything that's happened, I just don't know if I can handle thinking about what I …."
"So is there anything you do want to talk about? Or anything you want to do? We can finish your bath if you're up to it."
"Have you heard anything… about…"
"Nothing yet. They are working on it, but you know it takes a while to process all the evidence."
"I know. I guess I'm just anxious. You know, we get irritated from time to time when the victims families expect us to know all the answers instantaneously… but now that I'm on the other side… I just want to know, so I can start putting this behind me."
Gil moved his chair closer to Catherine's, pulling her into a light embrace. "You'll know. I promise we are going to catch…"
"Why do you keep saying that? Gil, I'm not naïve. I know we don't solve every crime. Do you know what they recovered at the scene?" Catherine could feel the tears starting to come to her eyes as she buried her face in his chest.
"No. I haven't checked in with…"
"Exactly. You don't know. They could have found 10,000 prints, and they might all be mine, Lindsey's and yours. And even if they do find a print that isn't one of ours, the odds of the print being in one of the databases isn't that good. And…"
Gil pulled back slightly from their embrace, pressing his lips against hers to silence the constant stream of thoughts. "Catherine, you need to stop thinking about this."
"I can't! Every breath I take I'm reminded of what happened. I can't just forget about it, Gil. Hell it hasn't even been a day yet. I don't even know if they found what they were looking for…what do I do when he comes back? What if Lindsey's…"
"Catherine!" Gil paused, sighing heavily in the silence he just created. "I'm sorry. I just don't know what to do. I want to make everything better. I want to make everything go away."
"You can't just make it go away, Gil." She could hear her own voice starting to crack and paused, closing her eyes and hoping to get a bit of composure before continuing. "I'm scared. What if I can't get past this? What if this is the one thing that can completely undo me? The one thing in my life I can't get past?"
"Listen to yourself. You know what you need to do, and you are doing it. Everything is going to be fine. Lindsey will be fine. I will be fine. You are going to be fine. I know it."
"Is it wrong that I'm more scared now then I was last night?"
"Of course it isn't." Gil leaned back in his chair, trying to find a comfortable position as he watched Catherine. "Do you want to go somewhere else? My couch isn't that comfortable, but it's definitely better then these chairs."
Catherine didn't speak, she just nodded her agreement. She was about to say something, when Gil stood, sweeping her into his arms and carrying her to the couch. "Gil? Wasn't there a reason to get the wheelchair? I don't want you to feel like you have to carry me everywhere. I'm perfectly capable of…"
"I know. Trust me, I'm the last person that would ever doubt any of your capabilities. But I don't feel like I have to carry you everywhere. I want to." Gil carefully placed her on the couch, then stood before her. "I know you aren't going to let me stay around with you until you can go back to work. I just want to do everything I can for the time being."
She sighed, leaning back in resolution. "Are you going to join me on the couch?"
"Eventually." He smirked. "I'm going to go clean up the mess in the kitchen real quick. I'll move the television out here later this afternoon, unless you want to watch it now?"
"You don't need to move the TV out here. You don't have to…"
"Are we going to have this argument again?"
"No. I just… never mind. I'll let it drop. You'd think I could just be happy with the fact that you want to do all of this for me, but I keep pushing."
"It's one of the things I love about you, Cath. You don't push anyone harder then you push yourself. Besides, if it wasn't for your pushing we would forever be stuck in the realm of friendship. I think what we have now is much better." Gil paused, thoughts of the last few months drifting through his mind. "Let me get those dishes in some water. I'll be right back."
True to his word, Gil was sitting next to Catherine minutes later, his arm carefully draped over the couch behind her.
Catherine leaned back, laying her head on Gil's shoulder and placing her hand in his lap. "We've got a while before Lindsey needs to be picked up. What do you want to do?"
"I'm perfectly content doing what we are doing now."
"We aren't doing anything."
"I know. And there isn't anything we have to do for a while. It's a nice change of pace."
"We should probably…"
"Relax. We have plenty of time. There isn't anything that we need to do right now. You can watch me unpack later. Have the pain pills helped any yet?"
"Yeah. It's just a dull ache now. I've been thinking…Mobley isn't going to let our team work on the case for long. Do you think Ecklie will keep me updated on what they've found?"
"Cath…"
"Don't 'Cath' me Gil. We're lucky they didn't show up yesterday. We both know it's a conflict of interest, and honestly if I was thinking more clearly yesterday I would have pointed that out at that time. I don't want this case thrown out on a technicality."
"I'm sure Ecklie will keep you updated. It's me he doesn't like."
"I had asked Warrick not to clean up the house. I want to see if anything's missing. They were looking for something, and I may be the only one that can figure that out. I know it's soon, but maybe we can go over there tomorrow."
"Are you sure?"
"No. But it will make me feel like I'm helping, not useless."
Gil sighed, trying to think of a response that Catherine wouldn't protest. "You know exactly what I want to say to that, but I wont…I know what you'll tell me in return. If you're still feeling up to it tomorrow we'll go back to your house. We should probably think about bringing Ecklie, or someone else with us so that there is absolutely no doubt about anything we might find."
Catherine didn't say anything, she just closed her eyes and listened.
*~*~*~*
Gil looked around his bedroom, making sure that everything was in place. Catherine had fallen asleep earlier, and he was using that to his advantage. He had unpacked all of her belongings into his own room, and was just checking to make sure she was still sleeping before beginning work in the guest room. Stopping in the doorway to the living room, he watched Catherine sleep for a few moments before turning his attention to the guest room. He quickly unpacked the few clothes Warrick had brought for the young girl, and got to work on the toys.
Finishing the guest room, he glanced down at his watch. 'One o' clock. I should wake Cath and…' Gil's thoughts were interrupted by a blood curdling scream.
"No! Get off me!"
Gil raced out of the room, down the hallway and slid across the living room, bringing his hands out to catch himself against the wall. Looking down, he saw Catherine thrashing back and forth on the couch. He quickly dropped to his knees beside her, grasping her hand within his own. "Cath? You're all right. Wake up, honey." Gil continued talking, running his free hand through her hair as he watched her slowly come out of her nightmare. Her eyes blinked open, and Gil was startled at the shear terror he saw in her eyes. "It's all right, Cath. I'm here. It's just a nightmare. Everything's fine, baby."
Catherine breathed deeply, slowly trying to calm herself. "I could feel him. His hands were wrapped around my neck. I tried to get him off, but he was just too strong…" She drifted off, again focusing on calming down. "What time is it?"
"One."
"Twenty-four hours."
"What?"
"It's only been about twenty-four hours since this all started. A little less for you, but…"
"It's been a long day, hasn't it?"
*~*~*~*