AN: You're not allowed to kill me. I don't care what your excuse is. NOT ALLOWED.
This has been edited, ergo any demented mistakes are now fault. Please let me know if you find any; I'd appreciate it!
Written from Cloud's perspective.
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Ephemeral Blossoms
Akai Kitsune
Part 20: Shadows Cast in Darkness
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The city around us was nothing less than chaotic; the roads were more full than they'd ever been with people of every possible rank running like there was no tomorrow. It made it much easier for us to slip through the crowds towards the castle - and beyond it, the shipyards. As we'd suspected, the growing protest near the castle gates made security at the Bastion's main airship base insignificant enough for us to handle. Getting in wasn't an issue.
Now if convincing Cid to help us out could be so easy...
The shipyard of Hollow Bastion was a sweeping area not far from the castle, a quiet, open space built above the Rising Falls, with limited traffic aside from the moving airships. The water flowed around the pillars supporting it, a gentle rhythm that served to add to the energetic atmosphere of the yard. I'd often come up to watch the falls while I was a guard of the castle, during the times when the rush of water was more preferable than the company of certain others.
To our surprise, though, moments after our arrival we found there was just as much chaos there as what we assumed was at the gates. Ships roared to life all around us, engineers, technicians, and pilots passed us by without a care, so focused on whatever goals they had in mind. Baffled, we made our way through the base as quickly as possible, searching for the airship Cid had been boasting about since our first meeting on the train. We reached the landing pad just in time to hear the pilot screaming into a receiver a few meters away.
"You have got to be kiddin' me!"
Something in his tone made the prospect of turning around and going back the way we came very tempting, but I steeled myself and moved forward, waiting for Cid to finish. I certainly wasn't about to interrupt - we were asking for help, not to get chewed out.
He growled around the cigarette between his teeth and leaned against a wall. "No, don't try to fight her until we know more about what's - what do you mean the nobles are gone! Dammit-" He turned then, fingers drumming against the concrete, and halted at the sight of me, Aerith, and three strangers behind him. And gaped. "What the hell are you doing here! No, not you," he added irritably to the phone. He lifted one hand before any of us could speak and turned away again. "You need to work on getting things organized again! We can't deal with attacks on both sides. ... Don't complain, just do your damn job!"
Cid slammed the receiver down and spun to face us, eyes narrowed. "Cloud! I didn't think you'd be coming back after that little disappearing act you pulled. What do you want?"
I blinked, glancing around at my comrades before taking a step forward. "What's going on?"
The pilot grimaced, scuffing a hand through his hair. "There's a problem at the castle," he muttered. "Some woman's got the crazy idea of moving into the place and taking over. We've been trying to stop her but she's somehow managed to get her whole army in."
My eyes widened. "What? How?"
"Kid..." Cid closed his eyes, lips pursed. "She's controlling the Heartless."
Controlling the Heartless!
"H... how?" I managed to stammer. It was all I could think of to ask.
Cid shrugged impatiently. "Nobody knows - she just showed up out of the blue and they practically flew to her."
This isn't good... did Hojo survive? Did he continue the experiments and succeed? Or is it something else?
"Much as I'd love to stay and catch up," Cid continued, brushing his hands together and moving to pass by us, "The city isn't gonna save itself, and I've got a job to do."
"What are you going to do?" I followed him anxiously, as the others hurriedly followed.
Cid smirked. "We're gonna to fight, of course! We've managed this long, and we're not about to give up our homes to some strange woman. You with us?"
He stopped then, and I couldn't answer, for we reached the back edge of the shipyard, right near the falls. Below us at a fair distance away, the castle gates were visible. My eyes widened just as Cid's cigarette fell from his mouth.
It was literally swarming with Heartless, and more lay beyond on both sides, an angry mass of darkness and creatures of every type and size imaginable. I managed to tear my gaze away, giving Cid a stunned look, and met the same unhappy conclusion in his eyes as well.
The castle had been taken.
"After all this time... and you think it was just the Heartless?"
"Think, just think about it!"
I'd thought about it a little, trying to focus past my grief to find the meaning of whatever warning Zack had been trying to give me, but no answers had come. I had cursed the Heartless for interrupting us when they had; maybe I would have gotten an answer out of him, if we'd been allowed even a moment more of peace...
... and then I'd remembered that if we'd had even a moment, I might have gotten us both out of there alive. But there had been no moment, and Zack was gone, and I didn't have any answers, at a time when we all needed them the most.
The city... it's falling. It's already begun.
"Come on, recovering the castle is our first priority," Cid growled, turning away to take the path down to the city. The others turned as well, but I couldn't. My eyes were fixed on the army swarming beneath us.
If we let this continue... waste our time there while they spread...
We can't allow that!
"Kid!" I started, glancing back to meet Cid's angry expression. "Come on, I said!"
"No."
Cid blinked, as did everyone else in my party. "What?"
"Not the castle," I muttered, looking back at the gates. "There are too many of them now. We can't defeat them all."
Cid snorted. "We don't have much of a choice. The nobles-"
"We do!" I insisted. "The airships. Forget the nobles - they don't care if the city falls so long as they escape. Why should we help them?" At Cid's surprised expression, my eyes narrowed. "We have to help the people of the city get here, to the airships. We have to find a place where they can't follow."
Cid stared at me. "You want to just run away?"
"Isn't that what all these ships were for in the first place?" I countered, waving a hand at the fleet of ships they'd been making. "Winning the castle doesn't mean anything if the city is gone. It's the people who are more important!"
"And what about the witch?" Cid demanded. "She's controlling the Heartless. If we kill her, they'll-"
"They won't," I shook my head quietly.
"How do you know?"
"I just do. Trust me... she's not the only one."
"Gimme a reason to trust you," the older man replied, chewing idly on his cigarette. I could see the indecision flickering across his expression. "You're the one who disappeared on us. What've you been doing?"
I faltered at that, glancing beyond him to my companions. The members of Avalanche were watching, genuinely surprised by my newly found voice. First Barrett, now Cid... they were listening. Waiting for a reason. Which meant they were willing to try.
My eyes fell to Aerith, whose expression was bright despite the situation; her eyes were clear, as if to say she expected this. She too was waiting.
She's always waiting for you, a prodding voice spoke up once more. I scowled inwardly and ignored it, returning my attention to Cid and taking a deep breath.
"Cid... meet Avalanche," I began, my voice unwavering. No one objected; no one even said a word.
And so I told him everything.
.
After that, it was surprisingly easy. Cid agreed to work with the Avalanche team and get the airships ready and supplied for whoever came, while Aerith and I returned to the gates to help Barrett and Tifa. The riots would be used for a different purpose now; to organize people in a single area and get them to the ships, if they hadn't already scattered into hiding from the Heartless attacks. And if they were willing, of course. I wasn't optimistic enough to assume that everyone would leave their homes. Some would fight.
Cid raised a difficult question: why weren't we going to fight? Despite my attempts, I couldn't give him an answer any better than telling him it was pointless. The numbers were too great, our time too short. By the time we could ever manage to mobilize enough people, the Heartless would have the city overrun, even more people lost to us. We had trusted our leaders to protect us, and they had allowed this to happen. There was nothing left to do but escape and work out a way to fight and win.
We left as soon as Cid was satisfied enough to let us, Aerith and I hurrying at the fastest pace we could manage in the direction of the gates, where the crowd had scattered but where Barrett and Tifa would certainly be in hiding. They would be waiting for us; the plan was pointless now, and what we needed was to regroup and figure out what to do next. Or, in our case, tell the others what we were already doing.
"Will we have enough time to warn everyone?" Aerith called to me as we ran, her voice worried.
I frowned, narrowing my eyes. We'd already lost too much time, though there hadn't been much we could do to avoid it short of leaving before convincing Cid to help us, and if we'd done that there was no guarantee we'd have anywhere to go. But whether or not we would make it... "I don't know," I finally answered, pulling her behind me as we wove a path through the alleys and streets of the city. "I don't think there's even enough room for everyone. But we'll reach as many people as we can."
She squeezed my hand gently in response, sending me a faint boost of confidence that gave me the energy to carry on despite my rising weariness. There was no rest for us - not until we had spread the word and were safely away from the city, maybe even the entire world. I wanted to be as far away from the Heartless as possible.
Never mind the tiny voice in my mind that warned me not to pretend I could hide from it completely... not when I carried a piece of them within me. As if the voice - or the thought itself - had summoned it, the wing stirred anxiously, uncomfortable and pleading for freedom. I grit my teeth, pushing it back down with as much willpower as I could spare. It just had to give me trouble now, didn't it-
"Cloud..." Aerith's voice caught my attention once more, "Who was the other you were talking about? The one controlling the Heartless?"
I didn't even have time to answer, nor decide if I was even going to. As we raced past an alleyway the wing seemed to shriek in my head, demanding I stop, and had it not seemed torn between a plea and a command I would have ignored it again. But the sudden, unbearable rush of emotions from the wing surprised me enough to realize this was no random decision.
I stopped instantly, letting go of her hand, and she gasped in surprise, bumping into me. She opened her mouth to question me but I had turned away before she could voice it, drawing my sword and holding it forward, eyes darkening. I knew exactly why the wing had wanted me to stop.
He's here. -Here-, finally...
"Do you plan to fight me, puppet?"
Resisting the urge to shudder, to back away and flee, I clenched my jaw before answering. "I'll let you guess on that one."
Cold laughter, grating at my nerves and causing the wing within me to stir even more. Aerith stood behind me, one hand lightly touching my shoulder, silently trying to decipher the situation. I think she knew then who this was, how he had answered her question through his carefully timed appearance.
Sephiroth was smiling when he stepped out of the alley's shadows, his own black wing resting against his back, sword sheathed, as though he were walking towards a child and not a soldier set to attack at any moment. He watched me for a moment, expression dark and almost amused by my anger, before his eyes flitted to Aerith.
"Ah," he murmured, eyebrows lifting ever-so-slightly - not in surprise, never from him - his smile shifting to a confident, knowing smirk. "The last Cetra, is it? Descendant of the Ancients, the fools who tried to destroy Jenova."
Aerith tensed, fingers tightening against my arm, and I shifted to hide her from his view. "Forget her," I hissed, lifting my sword again. I didn't know what he meant or why it seemed to get a reaction out of her, but I wasn't about to let him threaten her. "I'm your opponent!"
By the responding look I received - cold, always so cold, and mocking in every movement me made - I knew he could have cared less about my challenge. I was the failure, the empty doll, the one they'd given up on when Zack arrived. I wasn't worth his time; we both knew it, and it only served to fuel my anger even more.
"Why should I even spare you a second glance, Failure?" Sephiroth smirked again, chin lifting a little to watch me through Mako-bright eyes. "What hope do you have of defeating me when even the man who replaced you as my servant fell by my hands?"
There was a pause, a silence, as the words reached my ears and echoed through my mind, like a ripple in an endless pool, drifting in and out, back and forth, waves on the shoreline of the heart already broken half a dozen times. The man who replaced you. Ripples, memories breaking free from the cage I'd given them. Fell by my hands.
You can't cage a river, I realized, and the well you cover can always overflow.
At the end of it all... it will always come back to Nibelheim.
"You think it was just the Heartless?"
No... no, it wasn't.
"You... killed him," I managed to whisper, staring at the man before me. "You killed Zack, didn't you..."
Behind me Aerith inhaled sharply, and Sephiroth laughed again, his voice loud, darker than before. "Killed him?" he echoed, amused. "Yet he never died."
"You know what I meant!" I snapped, taking a step forward, fighting against the hand on my shoulder suddenly trying to draw me back. "Zack - you and him were supposed to be friends! Partners! He respected you more than anyone and you stabbed him in the back for it!" My eyes blazed, my whole body trembling with fury, until even Aerith had to draw back, startled by the faint aura of shadows suddenly phasing in around me. I barely noticed, so lost I was in my accusations. "You tried to ruin our lives, destroy who we were, turn us into your own little Heartless army and then you came back and took him back to that-!"
Sephiroth ignored my words, a familiar smirk playing across his lips, eyes glittering with madness. He didn't care about what I thought, what I said. I meant nothing to him - no more than a broken toy would to a child with a room full of duplicates.
I was meant to be a clone, after all...
"Would you like to see him?" he murmured, raising a thin silver eyebrow. My eyes widened, fear suddenly coming to life and quelling any objections I might have given his response - any response but that.
He didn't even attempt to dismiss my claims; instead, he lifted his arm, the darkness flaring around him - and then, surprisingly, around me, behind me. I took a startled step forwards, wary of what he would summon and at the same time watchful of Sephiroth himself, as the shadows began to form into a shape between Aerith and I. Zack had told me Sephiroth could create Heartless, call them forth from the dark and give them whatever shape he desired. It was an old trick, and one I would not fall for.
As the shape - vaguely humanoid - began to gain details, though, I froze, my thoughts blank of everything except what stood before me.
It isn't him, my heart told me firmly, unshakable in its conviction. It -can't- be him.
But somehow... for whatever reason, my mind couldn't...
And Sephiroth knew; no, he was proud of it. I stared at them both, incredulous, wanting with all my heart to disbelieve. He stood still as a statue, smiling, a single, elegantly gloved finger pointing towards me, watching as the Heartless, golden eyes glinting in a face that was not - could not be - real, stepped forward and lifted its sword.
... Zack...
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"No, no, no, the head goes down, Cloud."
I blinked blearily, looking down at the chunk of metal resting between my fingers. My head was pounding, spinning furiously despite my attempts at regaining my balance. "... Why did I agree to this again...?"
Zack grinned at me from across the gap, shrugging his shoulders. "Just who was agreeing to help who, eh? I remember Aerith telling me it was you who put this hole in the roof."
I glared at him, then lifted my hammer and pounded the nail into the wood with no small amount of vehemence. "Wasn't my fault," I muttered, wincing with every blow. "But... that's not what I meant..."
"What, the Bastion's fine liquor not agreeing with you, kid?"
I resisted the urge to take the hammer and smack that grin right off his face. "You weren't supposed... t-to get me drunk
"Oh, come on," Zack snickered, reaching over and lifted another board, placing it across the hole. "I took you to the bar. I didn't force you to drink."
How I wished an act as simple as a glare could pass my hangover to his head instead of mine. "You could have warned me!"
"And how was I supposed to know you had low tolerance for the stuff?"
"You... you just..." I spluttered for a long moment, my eye nearly twitching in irritation, then finally gave up, burying the nail into the wood and securing it to the church roof. On my last strike I misjudged the distance, adding to my headache and my foul mood in one blow. Zack burst out laughing, which earned him yet another nasty look. "Oh sure, you think it's funny."
"I do, actually," he smirked, watching as I hissed and sucked on the abused finger. "Both eyes open when you're working, remember." Glare, glare, glare. "Okay, eyes open and looking at what you're trying to hit. ... And you can stop looking at me any time now..."
I rolled my eyes. "Always about you."
"Isn't it?"
"Okay, okay," Zack chuckled, shaking his head, "I'll stop. For a minute, anyway. The only reason I took you to the bar - and forced you to finally make this trip - is because you've been driving me crazy all week. What's up with you, anyway?"
"Nothing's up," I mumbled, looking away. Nothing was ever up, and Zack knew it.
"Fine, don't tell me," he shrugged carelessly, his voice far too cheerful considering what time it was and how much alcohol we'd had the night before. "I'll just get you when you start angsting in your sleep."
Zack
The grin he wore was nothing short of infuriating, and I could visualize - all too easily - my hands around his neck. "Come on, if you're not going to treat me seriously, why shouldn't I do the same for you?"
"Earn it, then," I growled, grabbing another nail and hammering it into the board, willing my head to stop aching.
He blinked innocently. "Haven't I been a good teacher?"
I clenched my fist more tightly around the hammer's handle, if only to keep myself from throwing it at him. He'd probably duck. Or, considering my state, I'd probably miss. Saving myself the embarrassment, I grabbed another nail. "You taught me to fight, not respect idiots."
"Which is exactly why I'm not respecting you," he chimed. I could very nearly see the hammer-shaped dent in his head. "So... gonna tell me what the problem is?"
"No."
"Oh, come on..."
"No."
"Punk."
My eye twitched.
"Hey-"
"I'm fine
"... I was gonna ask you to pass the nails over."
Briefly, I considered throwing them at him, but I doubted Aerith would appreciate a literal rain of nails all over what was left of her flowers, so I refrained and merely picked up the box instead, shifting forward onto the boards we'd already secured while he grabbed another. He shot me a grateful smile when he took them for all of two seconds before it faded, his eyes drifting downwards. "Er... you probably shouldn't be sitting on those until we're finished the first layer, you know."
I blinked, opening my mouth to respond that yes, I knew, and it was nice of him to remind me after the fact, but he shifted away from the edge just as the wood bent and snapped beneath me and I was sent - for the second time within two weeks - spiraling towards Aerith's garden.
My last thought, before I hit, was how dead he was when I got back there, and that it was good for him that he ran faster than me, and that I knew he would still be grinning about it later-
.
.
"Cloud!"
At Aerith's voice I whirled back, and barely lifted my sword in time to block the first attack. The Heartless strained against me, expression blank and tireless, the golden eyes empty of anything except the gleaming shadows beneath the surface. Beyond them, I could see Aerith standing nearby, pressed against the wall of one of the buildings around us, her eyes wide with fear and horror. Even from behind, she knew... she could tell who it was.
But it wasn't. I knew that. A voice was screaming inside me, crying out that it couldn't be him, that Sephiroth couldn't just summon a heart already stolen. But... why not? Why couldn't he? He'd summoned the other Heartless so easily... why should one more be any different?
Because I want so badly to ignore the fact that I caused this...
I made this happen! I could've saved him from this!
He has every right to do this to me...
The Heartless pulled away from me and spun, lashing out its dark sword in an attempt to hit my shoulder. I stepped backwards, trying to keep from being boxed into the alley and struggling to move past my doubts and fears so I could fight. Sephiroth was gone; at some point while the shadow had begun its attack he had vanished, leaving me to my fate. I wasn't surprised, and I was too frantic to feel annoyed, but I knew he'd left because he expected me to lose.
I'd never beaten him in a fight before, after all.
No! It's not him!
As if sensing my thoughts, Aerith rushed forward, abandoning the relative safety of the wall to come to my aid. "Cloud!" she repeated, eyes flaring with determination and no small amount of fear. "You have to keep fighting!"
My gaze drifted to her for a faint moment, hesitating as my opponent readied itself for another attack. "But... it's-"
"Don't say it!" she choked out, shaking her head. "Don't ever say that! It's not him anymore!"
But I can feel him... I can feel him here...
... it's not him. It's not.
"...maybe they stole who he was, but they can't change him..."
"... we're friends, right?"
I snarled and charged again, meeting the next attack head-on. Aerith was right. It wasn't Zack, it couldn't be Zack, it never would be. Zack... was gone. I had to accept that.
And I couldn't allow myself to lose to a mere shadow of who he may have been...
Zack... would never accept that. He didn't teach me just to watch me die like this...
The face was his, I noticed idly as we continued the battle, my sword - Zack's sword - gradually pushing the Heartless further and further away from our escape route. The face, the body, even the sword that mimicked the one I held was him... but everything else was too surreal, too distant. Zack would have smiled, he would have grinned, he would have laughed. He wouldn't have... just stared like this thing was...
No expression, no -light-... appearance is nothing when he's missing his soul.
He wouldn't have wanted this...
But although I continued to attack, I couldn't finish it off, despite the many opportunities the shadow had given me. I knew then it couldn't be him, no matter how much my heart ached to look at it. Zack was stronger than this. With such a strong heart how could he lose to me so easily...?
He must hate this. None of this is what he was fighting for...
You know that. You -know- that! Finish it!
Aerith was following the battle from the side, watching every movement, hands clasped around her staff and ready to cast a healing spell if it was needed. She seemed to sense my indecision, her eyes stricken with concern, but it felt like an eternity before she finally spoke, breaking through the fog that the creature's appearance had cast over me.
"Cloud, stop hesitating! We need to go back!"
"I can't..." I grimaced, swinging my sword and knocking the Heartless away again, watching helplessly as it merely shook aside the attack and stood up. "I can't just..."
It's not him! Attack!
"You said before that you wish you'd killed him, Cloud," Aerith whispered, eyes pleading. "You wish you had set him free. Here's your chance... let him go!"
Let him go...
"We're friends, right?"
Are we?
You're gone... you're gone.
I didn't want to believe it, then... but... seeing this...
I never wanted to see you like this...
Decision made, I dashed forward once more, weapon leveled at the Heartless with Zack's body, but not his heart, never that. The monster looked up, the facsimile of dark hair falling across empty golden eyes.
He smiled. Zack smiled.
A last effort to save himself? One final trick?
It came too late anyway, that smile. The sword tore through his body effortlessly, the shadows separating and fading away, all trace of him eternally lost.
... friends, right?"
I closed my eyes, dropping to my knees, the sword falling from fingers too numb to hold it any longer. Friends. We were friends.
That's why I had to finish it... that's why...
... so why does it hurt...?
"Cloud..." I felt Aerith move to kneel beside me, but I didn't look up; I couldn't. She didn't believe it like I did, despite the constant ache in my heart that told me it was a trick of Sephiroth's and nothing more.
Not Zack. It wasn't him...
"The others," I murmured, my voice hoarse. "You're right. We... need to go back..."
She hesitated, then hugged me abruptly, pulling my head down to rest against her shoulder. I blinked, surprised and uncertain of how else to react.
"It's alright, Cloud," she managed. "We can stay here a little longer. They won't leave without us... just rest for a minute, okay?"
I swallowed hard and nodded against her, my fists clenched to the floor. Whatever I felt for her, then or before, no longer mattered; she was hurting, right? This... was hurting her. I needed to help. Zack would've wanted me to.
"Wasn't..." The words still sounded weak, so I gulped again, trying to find my voice. "It wasn't..."
"It wasn't him," Aerith finished for me, and I could hear her smile. "I know, Cloud. I know. You did the right thing. You saved us both."
She held me close, arms wrapped tightly around my shoulders, rubbing my back as we rocked back and forth together on the floor. It wasn't him, I kept repeating him my head. It was never him. It was an image, a name, a mockery of who he'd been...
... should have killed him...
But even as the words appeared, nearly spoken aloud, I realized I'd never have been able to do it.
"It wasn't him," Aerith said again as she pulled back, her hands resting on my shoulders, her voice little more than a whisper. It was so soft I had to wonder if she herself even believed it. "It wasn't him, Cloud."
I stared back at her, lips pursed, eyes uncertain for a moment, then I nodded. "I know," I said simply, my heart agreeing, even if my mind couldn't. She smiled at me, and whether she meant it or not, I think I needed that more than anything, then.
.
AN: This is my response to everyone wailing and missing Zack. See, see! This is what you get!
Actually, this was plotted for a long time and I've been dying to use it. So sue me. (Wait, don't. I like my penny collection.) Regarding the Cetra thing with Seph... my memory of certain bits of the FF7 events are rather sketchy, so if I'm off on something, it's either a mistake on my part or an alteration to better fit the changes I've already made.
Not much to say otherwise... things are winding down to a rather gradual conclusion. Exciting, ne? Well I hope so, anyway.
Next chapter: The final hour in Hollow Bastion. Losses, separations, discoveries, and, of course, the melodrama. Gotta love Cloud's melodrama.
Reviewer Responses: (look! not being lazy this time!)
Koorino Megumi: You know I love your Cloud:P But I'm glad you like him. I've been trying not to let him revert into Twit!Cloud.
link no miko: Come on, you know better than to ask me who's going to make it or not!
JadeyTheKitty: Actually, RP!Zack is like... an AU version. sorry. :P But I'm glad you liked Aerith! I used to dislike her too... now I'm kind of undecided...
Seishin Kibou: The English website for AC is now online. This is hopefully a good sign.
Ari Powwel: Dude, you read it! squees Glad it was enjoyed, despite the wibbles!
Black Jester: Regarding the Mako breakdown... sorry, no. I'd love to, but there's so many things I've already done, and the main one occurred already during the flashback just prior to Cloud's awakening (after Hojo). That's as detailed as I'm getting with that.
Everyone else: Thank you for reading! I'll try to be a little faster next time...