Summary: In the eighteen months since she's been apart from Yugi, Téa comes to realize how she feels about him. (YugixTéa)

Disclaimer: I don't own Yugi, Téa, Joey, Tristan, Duke, or Serenity. But then, you already knew that.

Rating: K

A/N: Got a bit of writer's block working on my long peachshipping/polarshipping tome, so I came up with this bit of fluff to post in the meantime.

In the eighteen months we've been apart, I've tried to get over you. I tried to believe it was just a high school crush.

You confuse me because of who you were before he came. You were my best friend, the person I could always talk to, the person who understood me and didn't laugh at my dreams. How can I have a crush on my best friend?

You confuse me because of who you became when he arrived. A little bit you: sweet, shy, diffident, and devoted to your friends. A little bit him: gregarious, adventuresome, confident. It took me a long time to figure out that I had pegged the wrong side of you as the hero.

You confuse me now that he is gone. Which half of you took my heart with you? Does it matter now that you're both gone? He's gone for good and you have gone to school in Egypt while I'm in New York living my dream of dancing on Broadway. Well, off-Broadway anyway. Funny, though, how my dreams don't seem as vivid when you're not here to share them. We e-mail and text-message and IM several times a day, or we did until recently, so it doesn't quite seem like you're gone, but we're six thousand miles apart and your life only includes me in words on a computer screen.

So I tried to get over you, tried to believe it was just a high school crush. I've even dated. All of three guys over the last year and a half. None of them really worked out, and it was always because of you.

The first one was about four months after I arrived in New York. His name was Dominic and he was in my classes, an excellent dancer. He'd never even heard of Duel Monsters. I kind of liked that. He was tall and cute and he asked me out to a Mets game. I don't really like baseball, but it sounded like fun so I went. We had a good time and I let him kiss me goodnight and agreed to see him again. Our second date was our last. He came to my apartment to pick me up and as we were getting ready to go, he was looking at the picture I keep in the living room, the one of the four of us that your grandpa took at Battle City. I love that picture. It's so… us. Tristan is trying to look cool, Joey is mugging for the camera, I'm trying to make us all smile and look nice, and you're in the center of it all. You've always been the center. Dominic asked about the picture and I told him it was me with my best friends from high school.

Then he asked, "So who's the little kid?" Naturally he meant you.

"That's not a little kid. He's my age. A couple months older than me, actually. He's just a little short, that's all. And he's my best friend."

That was the end of Dominic.

The second one was almost a year later. His name was Matt and he was gorgeous. He'd never heard of Duel Monsters, either. We met at a party my roommate dragged me to. Neither one of us wanted to be there, so we went out for ice cream. By this time I had just landed my first real dancing gig, a year-long contract in the chorus of something off-Broadway. He was an English Lit major at NYU. We hit it off and went out a lot for like two weeks. He was a great kisser. But there weren't any real sparks.

Around that time, I found out Joey was coming to a tournament in New York. I was so excited. It wasn't you, but I understood why you couldn't come. Your studies keep you very busy in Cairo. But being with Joey would be the next best thing to being with you. I was so excited I talked about it all the time for like a week. "When Joey gets here, I'm going to take him to such-and-such" or "I wonder how Joey's dueling style has changed since I saw him last." Matt and I were having shakes at the same ice cream place where we'd gone to escape that boring party when he just looked at me and said, "I think we should stop seeing each other. It's obvious you have a thing for this Joey guy."

I burst out laughing. I think I actually may have spewed double-chocolate swirl shake out of my nose. Can you imagine? Me and Joey? I think he was offended that I found it so funny, but I couldn't help it. I mean, come on! And really, that I could be so amused while he was breaking up with me kind of says where my heart is anyway, doesn't it?

As he left, though, he nailed me with a statement that stopped me cold. "You may think it's a joke, but every time we go out, you are constantly checking for text messages, or when you're home, you keep checking for e-mails. Ask yourself why you do that if you don't have a thing for the guy?"

He was right. He just had the wrong guy. I do always check for messages, but not from Joey. I'm always looking for messages from you.

The third guy almost had some potential. His name is Josh and he lives in my building. We've been friends for a while and then one day about a month ago he told me he had feelings for me. I wasn't sure how I felt about that, but I liked him a lot and he was a friend. Maybe that reminded me of you. So we started dating. He was way more serious than I was, which made me a little uncomfortable, but I have to admit I liked it, too. I don't think I've ever had someone that I absolutely knew liked me. With you, the things you say sometimes make me think maybe you do. Or did, anyway. But I don't know. You're so reserved and you love all your friend with such devotion it's hard for me to tell if I stand apart or not. As for him… he never really belonged with us, did he? We loved him and he loved us, but I don't think he ever saw me as more than a friend. You tried to set us up, which makes me think maybe you didn't like me that way, either, but I could never really tell for sure.

So I let Josh tell me he was falling in love with me, and it scared me because I didn't really feel that strongly about him, but I liked him and it was nice to feel special. Maybe I would have eventually fallen for him, but I'll never know. Because that's when I get the e-mail from you.

Subject: Dig is a go!

From: ymutou…

To: redeyes…, dancinggirl…, taylor.tristan…

Well, guys, it looks like the dig is a go! We leave Cairo in a little over a week. We'll be in a whole bunch of places over the next six months out in the middle of NOWHERE. I'm really excited about it and I think Professor Hawkins is, too. Rebecca not so much, but you know how she complains about EVERYTHING.

Here's the bad news, though: we'll be completely out of touch the entire time. No e-mails, no cell phones, nothing. I don't even know if I can get letters in and out. It's THAT much out in the middle of the desert. Ugh.

I'm really looking forward to this, but I think it will be hard, not hearing from you guys for so long. Six months suddenly seems like a Really. Long. Time.

Anyway, I've suddenly got a ton of stuff to do to get ready. I'll e-mail you all before we go, or maybe we can do a chat?

For a long time I just stare at the screen. Six months? With no contact? Being six thousand miles away has been hard enough, but no contact for six months?

I start crying. I just sit at my computer, sobbing. I can't do it. I can't not talk to you for six months. How can I be without you that long?

I am still crying when the instant message tone sounds. It's you.

DarkMagician: Hey Téa! I didn't expect you to be online now. Don't you have rehearsal?

Thank God it's just text on a computer monitor. I don't want you to see me cry.

DancingGrl: Hi! I just got your e-mail. How exciting! No rehearsal today. Isn't it late there?

DarkMagician: Yeah, it's like 1 am. I'm trying to get organized for the trip.

I'm crying harder now. It's hard to type when you're crying.

DancingGrl: It sounds so exciting! You've been wanting to do this for a while.

There is a long pause before you answer. At first I assume you got sidetracked doing something else, but when I read your words, I'm not so sure.

DarkMagician: Yeah… it is exciting, I guess. The thing is… I don't know. I don't like being out of touch for so long.

DancingGrl: Yeah, sounds harsh.

DarkMagician: I can't imagine not being able to e-mail or IM you.

DarkMagician: or Joey or Tristan.

Now it's my turn for the long pause. What do I say? I want to be supportive. I want you to do what you want to do. But I want you to know I'll miss you. More than you can imagine. More than I would admit to myself until this moment.

DancingGrl: Six months is a long time. I'll miss you. A lot.

There is another long pause. What are you thinking? Was that too much?

DarkMagician: Are you home right now? I want to call you.

Call me? You can't call me! I can hide that I'm crying when I'm just text on your computer screen, but how can I hide what I feel if you can hear my voice?

But I want to hear your voice, too. I want you to laugh and make me feel better the way you always do.

DancingGrl: I'm home.

DarkMagician: brb

The phone rings almost immediately. My stomach lurches as I pick it up. I barely can squeak out the word "hello."

It's not you.

"Hey, Téa, it's Josh. You wanna catch some dinner?"

"Josh, I can't talk right now, I'm expecting a phone call," I say impatiently.

"What's wrong?" He sounds worried. "You sound like you've been crying. Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine, I just need to get off the phone," I tell him, rushed.

"You want me to come over?"

"No!" I say, then feel bad for saying it so forcefully. "No, I just have to take this phone call. I'll call you later."

"Okay, call me when you can."

I realize he thinks someone died or something and I feel bad. But the phone rings again, and this time it is you.

"Hey Téa."

"Hey Yugi."

"Wow. It's good to hear your voice."

"You too."

"I… I just wanted to talk to you, you know, not over the computer, before I go. I wanted to hear your voice."

"Mm-hmm," is all I can think of to say.

"You okay? You sound funny."

"I have a cold," I lie. "You sound different, too." I haven't heard your voice in a very long time. Your voice is lower. Not as low as his voice, but not as high as your voice used to be, either. Kind of in between. I like it.

"Probably just tired," you say.

We are quiet for a moment before you speak again. "I wanted you to know how much I'll miss talking to you while I'm on the dig, Téa. It's… it's been really hard being away from everyone for so long. I miss all of you guys a lot. But e-mailing and stuff has helped. I'm really dreading going away."

Tears threaten anew, but you need a friend, not a basket case. "Just focus on what you'll learn. It will be an amazing experience and six months will probably go by really fast."

You're silent again. We're like that, you and I. We can be silent together and say more than a thousand words. But this is a long distance phone call and it is costing you a lot of money. "You're right," you say at last, "but I'll still miss you."

"I'll miss you too."

"Oh, wait, I almost forgot!" you say, and now your voice sounds brighter, more like I'm used to. "I got an invitation to a Duel Monsters tournament the other day. Remember how we said we'd get together every year at a tournament?"

"It's already been a year and a half, Yugi." I don't mean it to sound accusing, but you take it that way.

"I know, I'm sorry. But this tournament will be in May, about two weeks after we get back to Cairo. It's on a cruise ship to Alaska that sails out of San Francisco. I was thinking… I'm pretty sure Joey will get invited, and we're allowed to each bring one guest. What if we all met up at this tournament? You can be my guest and Tristan can be Joey's. I'll bet Tristan can get leave with this much advance notice. Can you get time off?"

"Yeah, I think so," I say. The truth is, I would love a vacation. I love dancing, but somewhere in the process of actually getting to do it for a living, it stopped being fun and started being work.

"Ooh, I had another thought! What if I come to New York first and stay with you for a few days? I can finally see you dance on Broadway!"

"Off Broadway," I correct.

"I don't care, it's you dancing on a stage. I've been really jealous of Joey getting to see you this past summer and I haven't been able to make it out there yet. What do you think? I'll come out for a few days and then we'll fly to San Francisco together."

I'm starting to get excited. Six months feels long, but actually getting to see you at the end of it? In person? And you finally seeing me dance? Suddenly it doesn't seem like work anymore, not if I'm dancing for you. "I'd really like that, Yugi."

"Let's plan on it, then. I'll have to make all my travel arrangements now before I go."

"Okay."

We discuss it a while longer and then talk of other things, both of us happier now that we have a plan, that there is a definite plan to see each other again. I try not to think about how it will only be a couple of weeks and then we'll be six thousand miles apart again.

We talk for a long time. It must be costing you a mint. You say you don't mind, that it's worth it to hear my voice again. My skin tingles when you say that.

Finally we have to go. It's past three AM there and way past dinnertime here. You're exhausted and I'm starving. But it's still hard to say good-bye.

"I'll scan the tournament invitation and e-mail it to you," you tell me. "And we'll e-mail Joey and Tristan and get it all planned out before I go."

"Okay."

"Téa, it was really great talking to you again."

"Yeah, you too, Yugi."

"I miss you."

"Me too."

"Bye."

"Bye."

There is a click as you hang up the phone. When I am sure you aren't there anymore, I say into the phone, "I love you."

Over the next few days, we send a flurry of e-mails back and forth. Joey has not received an invitation and thinks maybe Kaiba is hosting the tournament and he won't get invited. In the meantime, Duke Devlin e-mails from San Francisco saying he was invited and are you and Joey coming? We add him into our plans. You tell us Rebecca has also been invited and now she's coming with you to New York. Suddenly I'm not so excited, but if putting up with her means I get to see you, then I can deal. Joey's sister wants to come to the tournament, too. She'll have graduated high school by then and is dying to visit America. Joey still thinks he won't be invited so it doesn't matter, but then, the day before you leave Cairo, he gets his invitation. The last e-mail I get from you is your airline itinerary, Cairo to New York, then four days later, New York to San Francisco with a layover in Dallas. I book myself on the same flight. It's set in stone.

In six months I'll see you. What will I say? I honestly don't know.

But I know what I will say to Josh.

I have been avoiding him since the night you called me. I called him briefly to assure him no one died and that I was fine, but other than that, I've been going out of my way to avoid him, making sure I take the stairs on the other end of the building so I don't walk by his apartment. But I can't keep putting it off, so I go over to his apartment.

"Hey stranger," he says, but he can tell by my face this will not be a pleasant visit.

"Josh… this isn't going to work. I can't see you anymore, not as more than friends anyway."

He looks hurt and I hate to hurt him. "Why?"

I swallow. "Because I'm in love with someone else."

He is silent for a long time. "Anyone I know?"

"No. It's someone from back home."

Understanding lights his eyes and I know he knows it's you. He's seen the picture of the four of us. He didn't think you were a little kid and he didn't think I like Joey. He knows why I check my phone for text messages and my computer for e-mails.

"Does he feel the same way about you?'

What can I say? "I don't know. But we're all getting together next May and I think then I'll know."

"And in the meantime?"

"In the meantime, I can't pretend to have feelings for you that I don't. I… I didn't mean to string you along or anything," I say, and I'm starting to cry. "I tried not to fall in love with him because he's so far away. But I can't pretend not to feel what I feel."

He nods and we talk a little more and part on good terms, though it's hard. He still wants to be friends. Maybe he's hoping that when I see you in May it will all fall apart and I will come back to him, but I don't think so, because soon after it was Christmas and I went back home for a week. Joey and Tristan were there, and even Serenity came to visit Joey. I saw your grandpa, too. When it was time to go back to New York, I didn't want to go. I miss us, the gang. I miss the things we used to do and the difference we made. I miss you.

My contract is up in August. I think I'm going to quit. I wish I could talk it over with you because you're my best friend, but quitting feels right. I don't know what I'll do instead. Go to school, I think. Maybe even go to school back home. You won't be there, but Joey will be, and Serenity will be starting college there in April, too. If I can't be with you, being with Joey is the next best thing.

You changed me. You brought me into a world that was bigger than dancing, bigger than any of my old dreams. Thank you for that. Whatever happens between us, I thank you for that.

Whatever happens, I love you.

See you in May.