Disclaimer: Not mine! Step right up, folks! We got the freshest 'not mine's' this side of the city! Don't push! Don't shove, plenty for all, plenty for all!

Author's Notes: Thank you soooooooo much reviewers! And thanks to my Tohma, Val! She's so nice you just wanna squeeze her!

Or maybe that's just me...

Anyway! Thanks to my reviews and thanks to Val who let me use our Posts on the Site to move the story along. I'm sorry, but Smut won't be happening until chapter five, I think. Read this, and you'll see why...

Teach Me

Make Me Real

The move was hard on Suguru. He had to say good-bye to his mother, promising to call her at least once a week and make Tohma promise to have them come over for dinner every Sunday. Packing was tough. He didn't know where to begin. An overly neat person like him couldn't figure out how to organize his room into boxes. Tohma took the time to help; talking to him, making sure his little cousin knew that he could change his mind at any moment. He decided packing a small duffle bag with the bare necessities was best, then everything else; Clothes, breakables, books, papers, knickknacks and the like. It was suddenly easier. Suguru's room was fairly sparse compared to the average teenager's room. Finally it was done and the final good-byes took an hour total, Akiko finding more and more things to add to the list of what Suguru needed to remember and what Tohma should remind him of. The young player was more than happy to be leaving school, the reckless bullying, boring work… he thought he was completely free!

Until his mother ruined that fantasy.

"Tohma… what about his education?" She asked worridly.

The blonde smiled patiently, seeing as they were supposed to be back at his place an hour ago and Mika would be more than a little mad. "I have that taken care of."

"Oh, I don't doubt you, or Suguru's playing ability… its just… I want him to have something to rely on if it never happens… or, or when he decided he's finished," Akiko explained desperately, as if they wouldn't understand, hands wringing together tightly.

"I've gotten him set up with tutors who will challenge him like the schools never could. Sug-kun had often told me of his boredom in class," Tohma assured her. "If you would rather a school, I'm sure I could work something out."

"No! No, no, no. You do what you think is best," she told him, feeling a little embarrassed. But… her little boy was leaving! He'd grown up far too fast, never enjoyed life. She was worried he might go overboard with his new found freedom, even though she trusted her nephew and his judgment.

"Of course, Aunt. Now, I'm sorry, but we must be going before Mika sends out a search party," he joked with a pleasant smile.

A small blush crept over her cheeks as she realized how late she'd kept them. "Yes, of course! I'm so sorry, dear. Please, go. Give Mika my regards, dear. Tell her she's welcome to join us for dinner."

"I will, Aunt Akiko," Tohma assured her, turning to Suguru. "I'll be waiting in the limo, Sug-kun."

The younger boy watched the blonde exit as he looked at the shut front door for a long moment before turning back to his mother, who looked as though she was on the brink of tears.

"Where's dad?" he asked, head tilted as his hands fidgeted behind his back.

She gave him an apologetic smile. "Business trip."

Suguru snorted in disgust. His father was never home. It would probably take him a few months to remember he had a son who should be living at him. He saw his mother frown and immediately regretted his thoughts. For whatever reason, his mother loved his father very much. She was devoted to him no matter what. Akiko gave new meaning to the vow 'until death do you part'. He went over to his mother and caught her up in a hug. Suguru had inherited most of her features, which were similar to Tohma's father; smooth, delicate and shapely. It explained how the two cousins looked so alike despite the age gap, though Suguru was noticeably paler than Tohma. Akiko wrapped her arms around her son, resting her face in his soft hair, inhaling the dull, fragrant scent of shampoo and conditioner. Tears began to burn beneath her tightly shut lids and her body hitched in a silent sob. The tears cut glimmering tracks down her cheeks, curving sharply to meet together at the tip of her nose, falling off into the thick mass of hair atop her son's head. Suguru felt his mother quiver and held her tighter in response, his own eyes attacked with oncoming tears as he felt his face heat up painfully.

"Mom," he murmured hoarsely, throat constricted. "Please don't… it's not like I'll be gone forever."

"I know, I know," she snuffled, not yet letting him go. "But it feels like you've already grown up. My nest is empty and things along those lines."

"I promised to call and have dinner and you know I'll come see you randomly," Suguru told her, unable to help the tears now.

"Oh, honey… oh, honey I know! But what if you suddenly become a bif famous star! You'll forget all about your little old mother; the woman who gave birth to you, took care of you, clothed you, fed you," Akiko said with a tight laugh.

He tried to laugh too. "Never. Mom, how could I ever forget you? You raised me better than that."

They had a tearful, parting laugh as they released each other. Suguru wiped his cheeks furiously as his mother demurely dragged an index finger underneath each eye, running a dry finger down the slope of her nose. Akiko placed her hand on each of her son's cheeks and Suguru rested his hand atop hers, squeezing gently as he smile. He was so grown up at times, but he was still her little boy. Her one and only. She was proud of him. Even though Tohma was close to him, like a brother almost, he wouldn't lead Suguru on like this. If Tohma said her son had talent, he had talent. And with her nephew's hard work, Suguru would become whatever he wanted. He would have the choices of a musical career or college. He would be able to live his life without her soon. Sooner than she wanted.

"Suguru, I just want you to know that you should always do what you want, not what anyone else wants you to do, alright?" Akiko asked and he nodded solemnly.

She cupped his face in her hand, pushing stray hair out of his eyes, feeling as though this would be the last time she would see him.

"I love you, honey," his mother told him firmly, placing a kiss on his forehead.

"I love you too, mom," he returned, feeling choked up again.

"Stay out of trouble and respect your cousins, sweetheart."

"Yes, mom, I will. I'll call you real soon," Suguru promised.

She walked him over to the door, holding it open. The moving truck had already left once everything had been packed in and was probably already unloading boxes at Tohma's place. He gave her one last kiss on the cheek before giving a small wave and walking out, going to the edge of the property where Tohma's limo was waiting, still running. Suguru turned around one last time, giving her another wave, and then got in. Akiko shut the door, leaning against it, forehead resting against the smooth wood. Her little baby was gone. She was finally alone. No one here to keep her company anymore.

Suguru slipped into the limo, Tohma waiting patiently, legs crossed and gloved hands laced around the upraised knee. The car smelled of leather and… clean, a TV settled on one side opposite his cousin, wraparound seats everywhere but. He saw the shadowed head of the driver behind the large tinted window, moving a bit as he pulled the long car onto the road. He was leaving home. It was actually happening.

Suguru looked at Tohma, wanting to break the thought inducing silence. "Do I really have tutors?"

The blonde gave a breathy laugh, unable to help himself. "Yes, Sug-kun, I'm afraid you do."

He sighed dramatically and sprawled himself out on the portion of seat he had. "How can I practice more if I still have to go do school work?"

"Because you're only getting the basics; Math, English, History, Science and Japanese Literature. And I'll be your music teach or course," Tohma listed with a fluttering smile.

"Of course," Suguru replied dryly.

It still sounded like school to him, and that wasn't any better. But at least there wouldn't be any other idiots hanging around. Ugh. They used to bug him all the time about his cousin and Nittle Grasper and make fun of him. But those days were over now. Suguru never had dreams of getting back at his classmates, or rising above to throw it in their faces. He was better than that.

"I'm sure you're more than capable to handle that workload," his cousin said, interrupting his thoughts.

Suguru just snorted, draping an arm across his eyes, feeling the drama queen. Tohma smiled, watching his young cousin. He was still the beautiful child he had always been. Only his body had taken on a wonderful, still developing shape. His lithe, tiny frame stretching out in the seat, a dark green shirt lifting slightly at the waist revealing just a small glimpse of smooth, pale skin. Black slacks pulled taut around the one slim leg that was uplifted, sneakered foot resting on the seat. His dark hair peeking from above where his arm lay across him, neck open, lines of muscle showing just so as the curve of his neck continued downward to his chest where a few undone buttons revealed the tender flesh there.

"Tohma?"

He snapped his head up, blinking in a slight daze. What had he been doing?

"Yes, Sug-kun?" Tohma asked, feeling muddled.

"I said 'we're here'," his little cousin repeated, pointing out a window.

They had pulled up a long driveway and the limo was purring just at the large porch a few steps leading up to large ornate doors that would lead them into the mansion of Seguchi Tohma. The moving truck was just pulling away down the road, so the boxes must've been placed where Suguru was staying.

"Ah, so we are," the blonde said with a slight, breathy chuckle.

The driver came around, opening the door and Suguru climbed out, Tohma following after. The young aspiring player had been to his cousin's mansion before, so it was no big shock to him. Although he couldn't help but marvel at the vastness of the entire place. The insides echoed and his cousin's insistence for cleanliness was obvious in the polished tabletops and reflective floors. The two cousin's entered, the large doors whispering open and shut with a gentle ease that defied its look. A head popped out from what looked to be a gleaming kitchen. She was a young, hardened woman in her twenties, long dark hair framing her face, high cheekbones and narrow eyes set above a shape nose and red lips. A smile didn't seem possible for a face such as this, not to say it wasn't pleasing, but Suguru was always surprised when Mika smiled.

And smile she did at the sight of her cousin-in-law. "Suguru-kun! It's about time you showed up. You remembered to bring my husband along with you and those mountains of boxes, hm?"

Husband. Suguru hated that word from her lips. And it made him hate Tohma all over again. Tohma brushed past him and went over to Mika, placing a kiss on her cheek like the dutiful… husband.

The young boy's eyes darkened with a memory.

Tohma buckled Suguru into the backseat, going around to the other side, slipping in once he was sure his little cousin was secure. Once they were both in, he directed the driver to a small ice cream shop. Suguru could barely contain his excitement. He and Tohma were going to get ice cream for lunch! Suguru was practically wriggling with excitement.

"Oh! Guess what happened about a month ago!" Tohma asked, returning his attention back to his little cousin after giving directions.

Suguru wiggled around in his seatbelt so he could face Tohma a little better. "What happened a month ago?"

"I finialized my engagement… I'm going to be married in about three months," Tohma told Suguru, smile never faultering.

It was time. To tell the truth, Tohma both dreaded the marriage, but resolved to it because it was his duty to make a family and be a man. He wanted kids, he loved Mika as a friend, and he'd made her wait long enough.

But, he was so, so in love with someone else he couldn't be with. And that just hurt more. So, maybe he was getting married as a way to hide from that, too.

"Married?" Suguru asked with a frown. "Does that mean your gonna be like my dad now and never be home cause your always working? And I won't get to see you anymore because you're gonna have a family?"

Tohma wasn't supposed to do that. He was supposed to do all the fun things with him! But everyone got married eventually; at least that was how it seemed.

"Is she nice?" he asked, now sitting still. Not fair.

"Oooh, I intend to keep touring, so if I'm gone, I'll be because I'm far away playing," he assured, reaching over to play with Suguru's hair.

The Peter Plan complex. Tohma didn't want to grow up.

"She's very nice. From a traditional family, her father is a monk. She has a little brother just your age. Her name is Mika. She's the sister of the boy I took to New York with me. You'll like her when you meet her."

And with that, he leaned over and gave Suguru a tiny kiss.

A little twinge of jealousy ran through him. Tohma took some other kid with him on his trip, but not him. And he didn't want to like Mika. Cause Mika was going to be able to spend all her time with Tohma, and then Tohma wouldn't be able to come see him anymore.

But Suguru tried not to pout. It wasn't right since that's what Tohma had decided he wanted.

"I bet," he said. "So how come her brother went with you to New York?"

Tohma was a liar, not because he liked to lie, but because he needed to lie. It was necessary. He had a lot of secrets to protect. So, he lied to keep himself and the people around him safe.

But everyone needed to say the truth. Even if he admitted it to a brick wall, the truth had to come out or it festered inside with the noxious lies surrounding it as a barrier.

So, he let this be his catharsis of this one lie, this one secret that he knew Suguru would never tell. The little boy was smart enough to know it was wrong, something to never speak and let others know.

"Because I'm in love with him, and I wanted to be with him for a little while before I married his sister."

There it was. His ugly truth. Said with a smile.

Suguru faced fowards again, arms crossed, not looking at his cousin. "And his sister doesn't know that, does she?"

No, with Tohma no one knew what was going on until he told you. If you were lucky enough to be told. Mika probably thought Tohma had been doing something nice for her little brother. Because Tohma was always doing selfless things.

If they benefited him.

"How old is he?"

Suguru could be all fun and play around his cousin because he was usually so excited to see him, but he wasn't always like that. He could have a semblance of maturity; speak to Tohma as an equal, not as an eleven-year-old.

Of course Mika didn't know. And surely Uesugi-san knew nothing of his lustful attentions to his son, or else he wouldn't have been so trusting to send the young man to a different country to live with him

No, Tohma was the rich soon to be family. Kind, innocent, and most importantly, nice to Eiri. Under the guise of doing something nice for Eiri, getting him away from the school that he dreaded walking into for all of the teasing and names.

When really it was to be alone with him. BE with him. Oh, no one knew the desires and fantasies in Tohma's head, but they were dark and filthy and he deserved to be found out and condemned for them.

"He's 16," Tohma finally replied. Just barely a man. Legal by law, by custom, but still considered a child for all intents and purposes.

Eiri looked like Mika. Suguru never liked the author much, and he tried to like Mika, really he did. It was just hard knowing that Tohma was a walking lie and Mika didn't know any of him.

"Come say hello to Mikarin, Sug-kun," Tohma laughed, taking him from past to present in a heartbeat.

With a tight smile and stiff hug, he greeted his cousin-in-law. His cousin's wife. The older sister to the boy of which Tohma was so infatuated with.

And Suguru wanted to expose his cousin for everything he was. Fourteen-year-old anger going on a rampage throughout his mind while they had tea, talking of many things. Laughing over dinner. Mika would never see the truth. She couldn't look past that gleam in Tohma's eyes that made any hormonally driven being melt. But was it because Mika and Eiri looked so much alike, that Tohma could play pretend in his own mind? Could he swap her long dark hair for short and bright? Morph her softened features into that of a squared off, manlier face?

He didn't exist! Suguru didn't even exist to his cousin. Not while he had thoughts like that to occupy him and his lonesome time. Taking him and teaching him to play was only for the good of Tohma. He needed talent for his new company, and that's all Suguru was. A pawn in his game.

Suguru felt like Pinocchio; stiff, hollow, defeated. Trying to live up to unrealistic expectations. Where was his fairy godmother?

When did he get to be real?

Not as much of a tear jerker as I thought... but that's okay! Many more chapters to come!

Please review! It really does help.

SL