(Five)

Kimble allowed Remy to chew him out without resistance. He expected Gambit to haul him down to the lower level and the hanger, but instead Remy brought him upstairs to the living quarters. They stopped at a small door and Remy led Kimble inside his room, making him sit on the bed. The room was quite small and very neat as if it wasn't used much. It was obvious a maid had just cleaned up in here, the sheets were fresh and there was no dust. All Remy had was a double sized bed, a matching dresser with the tiniest of TVs on it, and a small night stand. A wooden chair leaned against the wall, empty. The walls were bare of art or pictures though he a couple of photographs in frames next to the bed. It almost looked like a hotel room, it was so impersonal. It wasn't much, but it was more than Kimble had and he felt a little jealous.

Remy paused half a step as he entered, on the neatly made bed lay a notecard in an envelope with his name on it in Rogue's familiar scrawl. His spirits soared at the sight of it, even more so when he picked it up and smelled her perfume sprinkled on it. It was pink and feminine, something he'd had quite a shortage of on his little unplanned vacation away from home. Clearly the girl had missed him beyond speaking words and had left him this. She had done this many times before and always with romantic intentions, he couldn't have been more pleased than if he'd found her naked and sprawled out on his bed. Well, that wasn't exactly true but it was close. He grinned, elated now, and slid the card into his pocket to read later.

He went to the dresser and pawed through the top drawer, removing a small black velvet bag, a tiny smile on his face. He jammed the bag into another pocket without explaining it to Kimble, that was his own business.

Gambit went next to a closet and dug out a couple of sleeping bags. Kimble looked over his shoulder and saw that Remy had quite a few jackets in there, mostly long trench coats of various colors with long, deep pockets. There were a few plastic totes in there, all stacked and neatly organized, Remy was a tidy person, something Kimble had already recognized from his clothing. Remy also had several pairs of boots in there, military style and not for casual use.

"Whatcha gots so many boots for?" Kimble couldn't help but ask. Most of the Clansmen had only the one pair they wore and Fallen never had a large wardrobe. He was unused to the luxury of spares.

Remy laughed. "Never know when you gonna need a good pair. Gambit don' get caught wit'out, eh? Gambit see sumptin' he likes, 'e buys more'n one."

Kimble looked around. "You need some pitchers fer yer walls. 'S kinda empty."

"You gonna make me some?"

Kimble laughed. "I kin drawr pretty good if I gots a mind to. I'll makes ya some."

"No naked women, s'il vous plait. Rogue'll be jealous," Remy teased.

"Kinda takes the fun out of drawrin' then, no naked women," Kimble said, playing the game. " 'Course I could drawr you some guys."

"Dat's quite all right. Gambit don' need no nightmares, eh? C'mon," he said, tossing Kimble a sleeping bag and leading him back out into the hallway. He escorted Kimble the rest of the distance to another narrow staircase that led out onto the large widow's peak on the roof. They spread out the sleeping bags and lay down under the stars to sleep.

Kimble was still awed by the millions of bright stars that looked down on him from above. He started to speak, but Remy scolded him softly. "You lay dere quiet now, and go to sleep. Gambit 'ad enough 'xcitement for one day." He wasn't the least bit mad about Kimble's outrageous behavior earlier. He found the whole thing with Bobby and Logan hilarious actually, but didn't want to encourage Kimble to keep that up. Logan's fury had been all too real.

Kimble grinned. He could read Remy's mood perfectly. It had come across in the giggles that had leaked out of that scathing Siskan torrent Remy had poured over him the whole trip up the stairs.

"Thanks, Remy, fer bringin' me up here...an' fer lookin' after me," Kimble said, snuggling down deep inside of his sleeping bag. He was full from the food and wine and was drowsy now. He also had the idea that Gambit was patiently waiting for Rogue to follow them up the stairs, maybe not right away but surely before the night was over. Kimble mumbled something unintelligible and was instantly asleep.

He awoke a few hours later. The sun hadn't come up yet, but there was a hint of red and purple on the horizon. He looked across his sleeping bag at Remy and felt his heart break a little. Gambit was awake and looking up at the sky, a silent stream of tears making his face shine in the fading light of the moon. The notecard lay open on his chest, the faint scent of its perfume still wafting in the air, this time smelling only of betrayal. He wasn't aware that Kimble was awake and looking at him with his guard fully down. Remy was hurting deeply.

"What's wrong?" Kimble asked softly, trying not to startle him.

Remy jumped a little and wiped quickly at his face. "Nuthin...nuthin'. I was just t'inkin, dat's all."

"Yer not a real good liar, Remy. You know what's on her mind and yer all scared. She's lettin' ya go, ain't she?"

Gambit sniffed and shrugged casually, squashing down his pain. It was true, the note hadn't spoken of love and secret meetings in the flower field, instead the note had been painfully brief and written in haste, no doubt composed only moments after he had arrived. She said she had been certain he was gone forever after he had been taken and moved on with her life. She had met someone new here on the campus and there was no turning back now. She hadn't revealed much about her new fellow, only that Remy would meet him tomorrow. In all of their many separations, this was the first time she had left him for someone else and what added to the sting of that insult was that he hadn't been gone much more than two months, she hadn't grieved long. Still, he tried to put on his best face for the Siskan. "Dis 'appen all de time, me and de fille. We off, we on. Guess dis time she didn't miss Gambit as much as he t'ought she would."

Kimble shifted his sleeping bag to inch a little closer to his friend. He didn't crowd him but this time lightly touched his shoulder. Remy had taken off his shirt and there was a slight red crackle as Kimble drew some Ristle from him, startling them both.

Remy shifted away from the contact, rolling over onto his side to face the pilot. He knew Kimble was just trying to make him feel better, but had this to say, "I know you feelin' bad for me, Kim, but don' be gettin' ideas dat you gonna be takin' 'er place."

"I didn't means that," Kimble said with a pout, withdrawing.

"Mebbe so, but Gambit jus' wanna make 'imself clear, non? See, you an' me, we closer dan brothers now. Gambit ain't gonna let nuthin' stupid come between us, comprenez? P'etetre, 'e jus' needs one friend, one person out dere dat don't worry when Gambit's gonna screw dem over or sumptin'."

"What's wrong with you?" Kimble asked, wondering at Remy's bitterness and pain. "You say we's real close, but that ain't really true, not like that. You know me, but I don' know you. Yer here next ta me all hurtin' an I ain't got no clue as ta why. This ain't about Rogue, is it? Not all of it."

Gambit reached out next to him for the velvet bag and took out a pack of cigarettes. He shook two from the pack and lit them both. He gave one to Kimble and took a big drag on his own, thinking about what he was going to say. His eyes were dark and serious, something Kimble wasn't quite used to seeing on his friend's face. Kimble shivered a little, feeling a strange kind of fear, he had a feeling he wasn't going to like what Remy was about to say.

Remy's voice was a little rough as he began to explain. "I know Fallen be tellin' you about us, about de X-men. We all legends, right? We all gods, fightin' on de side of goodness and light. What a fuckin' joke. What we are is just another army, eh? A team. It takes all kinds of folks ta make a team, a really good one anyways. You got your guys in de Inner Circle, de ones dat never do nuthin' wrong or bad. De ones dat you show off when company comes 'round. Dat's Scott, Jean, 'Enry an' Bobby. Rogue sometimes, too. Stormy. Den dere's de ones on de outside. Folks like me an Wolvie. You want sumptin' stolen, dat's me. You need someone dead, dat's Logan."

"I thought you guys never killed nobody."

"As a general rule, non, but it still 'appens. Not like assassinations, non, it ain't so obvious as dat. Mostly Logan is 'ere for protection. He de big bad watchdog dat prowls de yard, bien? Ain't nobody gonna tell you about de private graveyard we got near de flower field, jus' past de big oak tree. It's dere an' Logan ain't de only one to plant a body in it."

Kimble reached out again as another tear leaked out of Gambit's eye. He made to brush it away but a look from Gambit's face stayed his hand. He had been warned not to touch and Remy still had more to say. The thief's voice was still quite serious as he went on to say, "Me an' Wolvie, we on de outside 'cause we both loners, but it's more dan dat. 'Ow close you get to dat Inner Circle is based on trust. Oui, dey say we take in everybody, but dere's like dis unspoken rule dey don' tell you right away. 'Don' hide nuthin'.' It don' matter if what you done was a long time ago an' you're real sorry. It don' matter if what you done wasn't completely yo' fault or dat you was some stupid kid who got 'imself in a little more trouble dan 'e t'ought 'e could handle," Remy explained bitterly, unconsciously sliding a hand over the claw scars that decorated his chest.

"Who didja kills, Remy?"

"I didn' kill nobody...I jus' made sure it 'appened an dat's just as bad. De t'ing is...what Gambit is tryin' to say, is dat mebbe de reason why Logan 'ates you is 'cause you tried to 'ide your Zander. I'm t'inkin' you knew sumptin' about 'im before dose files ever got played.

"We all got our Zanders, Gambit does, too. 'E tried to 'ide it when 'e come here, t'inkin' mebbe 'e can make up for it, you know, by 'elpin other people and doing good t'ings. I did pretty well for a while, too, but den dey all found out. See Gambit a fool for de girls, non? 'E went an kissed de wrong girl, de one dat could find out 'e was 'idin' sumptin'. He went an kissed Rogue like de fool dat 'e is. She didn't know what I done, only dat I was 'idin' sumptin', sumptin' real bad. She bug me about it real hard, but Gambit was still protectin' his'self. He don' say nuthin', t'inkin' if 'e don' say, nobody ever gonna find out. 'E was wrong. It wasn't long after dat, dat it all come out from someone else and den an it was real bad here for me. De X-men say, 'You a liar an a t'ief an a killer.' I got booted out an I was t'inkin' dat dis was gonna be it for me, but dat rascal Rogue, she 'ad 'er hooks in me so bad, Kim, I ain't got de words."

Gambit's hands started to shake and he closed his eyes.

"Mebbe it was lovin' 'er dat really saved me, 'cause I come crawlin' back. De Professor, 'e's like de most understandin' person in dis whole god damned 'ouse, c'est la ve'rite'. 'E say, 'Okay Gambit. I see you feel real bad, an dat mebbe it wasn't all your fault. You can come back an' work for me, pay off your debt to de team'. But it wasn't ever de same. Now Gambit always walkin' dat real fine, fine line. Gambit ain't never gonna be in dat Inner Circle. 'E spendin' de rest of 'is life always sayin' 'I'm sorry.' Now Gambit is de guy you can never quite trust.

"Rogue, she took what I done all personal even though it didn't 'ave nuthin' ta do wit 'er. She say, 'Why didn' you tell me?' She don' wanna 'ear de answer...dat Gambit knows she gonna 'ate 'is guts. De others t'ink Gambit an' Rogue be fightin' 'cause he 'ave to work so 'ard to get Rogue's prize, 'cause she can't really be touched, but dat ain't it at all. It always comes down to Gambit's stupid crime. She ain't never gonna trust Gambit again no matter what 'e does or how many lives 'e save."

Kimble considered what Remy was telling him and its hidden message. Kimble, watch your ass, because this isn't the paradise Fallen painted for you. "Yer still here."

"Oui, oui. See, Gambit still got dis one feeble hope dat if 'e work 'ard enough, he can make up for some of dose graves out dere in de field. Dis isn't about Rogue, not anymore. Gambit's 'ere for 'imself, too. If Gambit gets 'is girl, more de better for 'im, but Gambit is 'ere to save 'imself, comprenez?"

"You gonna tell me what ya done?"

Remy shook his head. "Non. Mebbe someday, but not now. Now all Gambit is t'inkin' 'bout is how 'e gonna kiss Rogue's ass an' say 'e's sorry all over again. Maybe it'd be enough to change 'er mind about me."

"Why? You loves her that much?"

Gambit smiled sadly and this time he touched Kimble's face. He would never have done this in front of anyone else, but he and Kimble shared a bond, an intimacy that was strong and real without having anything to do with sex. Touching Kimble was like touching himself. He closed his eyes and thought about how much he really did love that fiery Southern belle.

Kimble felt the strength of it and chuckled softly. "I suppose ya do then. Maybe I kin finds a way ta help ya."

"Non. Dis is sumptin' Gambit's gotta do alone. Dis is de price he gotta pay."

"All right, but if ya ever needs anathin', ya come see me. I owes ya fer my life but more than that, yer the first real friend outside of m' family that I ever had. I loves ya, an I'll do anathin' ta helps ya."

Remy smiled, amazed at Kimble's ease at speaking about love. It showed just how much of a child he really was. Adults always hid their emotions away, where Kimble wore his out in the open. "Gambit knows an' he needs it. We gonna look out for each other, je promets."

"Why don'tcha sleep now? You been up all night."

Gambit nodded and crushed out his cigarette. "What about you?"

"Nope. I'm gonna see the sun come up. It's why ya brung me out here an I ain't gonna miss it."