Disclaimer: Don't own...RAWR, I envy Jhonen. I can only dream about IZ. Which is just what I do, actually (points at spiffy story). I may not own Invader Zim, but Jhonen apparently encourages (is that the word I want here?) fanfiction, so I wrote this. At least I know that he won't sue me. Besides, I don't own anything. I spent almost all I had on the Boxset.
AHH! IMPORTANT NOTE FOR AnAlmightyWoot: I am SO sorry I had to delete your review. (sobs and gives you cupcakes and milk) Please don't hate me, but I'm insanely particular when it comes to my fanfiction and uploading it, and there was a major spacing mistake that I thought not only made it confusing but that bothered me to no end. So...please forgive me! (sobs) Ahem. I am normal.
Another note... My goodness, a lot of notes, ne? Anyway, I know that this is a tad out of season. Try...about 6 months out of season. But you see, I missed winter. (grins insanely) Don't worry, this is normal! I swear! (dances) I like winter and fall and cool seasons like that, you see. I'm strange like that. And besides, people actually reviewed this (I love you all!), so I thought I'd finish the next part. Yay!
One more note of general strangeness... RAAAAGH! QUESTION MARK EATING MONSTER! HOW DARE IT REMOVE MY AWESOME QUESTION MARKS? Ahem...I apologize for the lack of question marks last chapter. If it sounded like it was supposed to be a question and not a statement, chances are it really was. I'm sorry. I forgot that uploading my fanfiction removes the question marks in ! when side-by-side. (jabs fanfiction (dot) net with a spork) Glare. Hopefully that will be fixed this chapter.
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The bedroom was dark and silent, even the soft sounds of crickets chirping outside had been soothed by the early night. Only the sound of Dib's shallow breathing echoed within the cluttered room. He was snoring contentedly, snuggled deep within the covers of his bed. Subcontiously, he shifted over in the direction of the window, enjoying the cool breeze seeping through the open space. Although summer was almost over and it was beginning to get colder outside, Dib was never one to prefer heat anyway. Yellowed leaves were already beginning to fall from the branches of the oak tree outside his bedroom, colouring the ground a hazy orange shade.
He pulled up the blankets closer to his neck, murmering something about capturing Bigfoot in his sleep. He winced; the wind was whipping stronger. It was bitterly cold. He almost thought he picked up a faint growling sound coming from outside, not unlike a motor of some sort, but his subcontious ignored it. He was safe within his dreams, right?
Suddenly, a searing, blinding light shot through the window, falling intentfully upon Dib's sleeping form. Dib awoke with a start, yelping and groaning. Instinctively, he yanked the top covers even closer to his neck, attempting to hide in fright. Startled, he fumbled for his glasses on the nightstand table. Shoving them up the crest of his nose, he blinked his topaz eyes as he got accustomed to the brightness of the rude awakening.
"Zim?" he exclaimed, now mostly awake. He traced the light back to a rather brightly coloured pinkish spaceship, hovering just outside his window that contained the little alien. The red glow of the panels and buttons highlighted the normally pale green flesh of the creature, making him seem more like a nightmare vision than the real thing. Dib shivered forcefully, taking a step backwards. The apocalyptic nightmare reared back and laughed from his glowing cage.
"Yes! It is I, ZIM! Now get in, Earthling. We leave now!" he demanded. His loud, shrill voice made Dib flinch visibly.
The preteen rubbed at his eyes, blinking, "I--is this a dream?"
"I assure you, it is not one of your pathetic dreams, humanoid. Now get in the Voot cruiser!"
Dib glanced over at his alarm clock anxiously, staring at the glowing green numbers. "But it's not even two in the morning!"
Zim sent him a biting glare from his hovering ship. His globule eyes quivered in annoyance. "You have had your sleep, Earth-monkey! Now get in here!"
Thinking quickly, Dib snatched up his backpack, tucking away a few other choice items (the food sitting on his desk, for example) that he thought he might need. Looking back at the closed spaceship, he studied the distance from his bedroom window. Very far. And, knowing Zim, he would probably make him jump. Which was not a very good idea, Dib in his sleep-clouded mind had concluded.
"How?"
The alien groaned, pounding his finger down upon one of the control buttons. The clear cover flipped open, and a pinkish-tinged platform began extending from the bottom of the Voot cruiser. "That's how. Now come on, or do you want us to be noticed?"
Dib growled under his breath, muttering something along the lines of "impatient aliens". He lept onto the platform, gasping slightly as he extended his arms to stay upright upon the thin plank. The ground beneath him suddenly looked much farther away than the simple two storeys. He grimised, subcontiously moving faster to avoid looking down again.
"It's about time, Earth-monkey," Zim hissed, retracting the platform and shutting the ship's cover. "What took you so long? Nevermind, the Armada is nearby. We will have to catch up with them in order to board." Dib nodded, finding his way to a smaller seat beside Zim's, apparently intended for GIR. However, the little robot was nowhere to be found. In fear of a random suprise attack, as GIR had the custom of doing (he had discovered that one night the hard way, when he snuck into the alien's base and the robot came out of nowhere to tackle him -- it wanted to have a tea party with him, apparently), Dib searched around the ship.
Zim noticed the confused look on the human's face. "What are you looking for, Earth-creature?" he demanded.
Dib frowned, finally just simply sitting down in the seat. The spaceship still hovered above the ground, staying in place. "Uh...where is your little robot thing?"
Zim huffed, "Oh, that. GIR has stayed behind to monitor the base -- I don't trust you, Dib-monkey. You could have easily sent someone to break in for you. So, being the AMAZING genius that I am, I had GIR stay home," he paused thoughtfully, "and besides...his monkey show was on." Dib sighed and got accustomed to the low-set seat. The tiny alien turned, looking at his nemisis. "I trust you brought supplies?" he wondered aloud.
"Of course," Dib scoffed, tapping at his backpack. Zim gave an awkward nod of acceptance, shifting the spaceship into it's proper gear. A thought seemed to cross his mind -- something that could only be bad for his human assistant. He looked over at Dib, a slow, supercilious smirk crawling upon his face. He exposed his rounded teeth in a vicious grin and, with more than a hint of boastfulness, continued,
"Tell me, Earth-monkey. Have you ever broken the sound barrier?"
Dib paused, blinking. "Um...no--" the human was cut off as the Voot cruiser took off with a mighty roar, leaping into action and zooming towards the sky. Zim laughed trumphantly (or was it insanely?), proudly displaying the so-called "superior" Irken technology. Dib simply screamed. Zim, obviously an "experienced" flyer, was proudly reveling in his moment of superiority. Well, just because the human was helping him didn't mean he had to be nice to him, after all.
The ship bounced and rolled on its way through Earth's atmosphere. Dib clutched at the sides of the awkward chair, trying desperately not to fall off and get flung around the ship. Zim tilted up the steering column and increased the jet boosters by pounding his fist down on one of the control buttons. The sound of Dib's screaming overtook the screeching of Zim's hystarical laughter.
Having enough of torturing the human, Zim adjusted the controls. The ship moved faster, but with less bouncing. The flying began to straighten out.
"There, Earth-smell. We're out of Earth's atmosphere." Zim glared over at his enemy, hints of the proud smirk still tainting his face. Dib made a gagging sound, sitting back upright in the chair.
"What did you do that for?" he exclaimed, fists clenched. Zim just chuckled to himself.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
Dib decided to give up. Besides, they were actually out in space now, and it would be a good time to look at the sights. Zim was NOT going to ruin that moment for him. Of course, he knew he couldn't even secretly bring out his cameras -- Zim would get suspicious. So, he sighed, turning his attention to outside the transparent window.
The stars zoomed by outside, trailed by the occasional planet. Dib counted off the planets in his mind. Behind him lay Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars... The planets he knew of seemed to zip by as the tiny Irken ship gathered speed. Finally, Pluto disappeared from his view, and a multitude of stars began to swarm his vision. They glowed a sparkling but slightly hazy white to his inexperienced eyes. Carefully watching, he managed to pick out some red and yellow ones against the backdrop of darkness.
Zim was totally silent, focused intently on the scan readings given off by the Voot Cruser's sub-screen. He was searching for his Tallest's ship on his control panel, Dib suspected. "I have the lock on the Armada," the alien confirmed. Dib gave no verbal reply, simply nodding and resting his chin down upon his palm. Stars whisked by at alarming speed outside the window. Asteroids, hidden in among the stars rushed closer and closer.
Dib stared out the window, watching the passing space junk. He had been in space before, but never really had the time to enjoy it. Well, he supposed that now was not exactly a good time to enjoy himself either. He had to keep a close eye on Zim. For all he knew, he could have been luring him into a trap...
A trap? A TRAP? Could this be a trap? Dib mentally whacked himself for not giving enough concideration to that possiblity. Sure, it seemed to him that Zim had his proper (for him anyway) motives for asking for Dib's help, but for all he really knew, it could be just a well-thought out ploy to entrap him somewhere out in space. Of COURSE! Zim wasn't really taking him to his Tallest, he was taking him out somewhere to abandon him, without oxygen, food or an atmosphere! That had to be it! Then again...
If it was a trap, the overly paranoid Dib concluded that it would have been much too well-thought out for the little alien. Zim was never one to think things all the way though, after all. Yes, he had come up with some fairly good (self-proclaimed) evil plots before, but to come up with that much of a valid-seeming back-story... It just wasn't characteristic of Zim. So what Zim was telling him must have been true, and that he did need his help. But Zim was a fairly "good" liar... Dib wracked his brain, trying desperately to sort everything out in his head without arousing suspision on Zim's part. He hoped his face didn't reflect the sudden tension that he felt.
So, if it was a trap, it wasn't yet too late to commendeer the little ship, somehow subdue Zim and take the Cruiser back to Earth. He'd be saving himself that way. Then again, if he tried that stunt and it wasn't a trap, then he'd miss out on his chance to gather the proof he needed to convice everyone back on Earth that aliens (other than Zim) did exist, and would doom the Earth to suffer Zim's wrath. Or something like wrath. Knowing Zim it would probably be something like throwing rocks at streetlamps, but... On the other hand, if it was a trap and he went back to Earth, then he'd forever be able to gloat that he outsmarted Zim. But then --
"There it is!" cried the alien, pointing a gloved finger straight ahead. The human snapped abruptly out of his thoughts with a loud yelp. Well, there was no time for deep thoughts now. If it was a trap, he was out of time. He would just have to...(shudder) TRUST the alien. The very thought of it almost made his stomach turn.
Zim was chortling loudly from the seat beside him. The human followed the gesture of Zim's clawed finger out the window. Dib pressed his face close to the glass, awed. The Armada's main ship was really deserving of the title "Massive", whether it actually refered to the one ship or not (his files on Zim and his homeplanet needed updating.).
The rubyish, bright couloured spaceship loomed like a monster in front of them. Colossal, grandiose, voluminous -- not a single word in Dib's expancive vocabulary could describe the sight of it. Not even "massive", as it was apparently called.
"It's...huge," breathed Dib, blinking his topaz eyes.
"Yes. Yes it is." Zim nodded, grinning triumphantly. He thrust the Voot cruiser into a higher speed, zooming forward closer.
A chill ran up Dib's spine, but not from the sight of the ship. If Zim was really going to take him onboard this thing, then it must not have been a trap after all. However... That meant that he really would have to slave away to help "cure" Zim's rulers. Was that really any better? Working to help the leaders of an alien race get better so that they could continue conquering the universe was not exactly Dib's idea of a good time. But still, he might manage to get ahold of some photographs, some video footage -- ANYTHING to help out his case back on Earth.
The tiny little Voot Cruiser approached closer and closer. Dib held his breath, fighting the nervous lump that grew in his throat and settled in the pit of his stomach.
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Red rather literally drug himself into the Massive's main control room, groaning heavily as he slunk into the empty seat beside the other co-Tallest.
"Why do we have to wear these big suits, anyway?" Purple asked, voice muffled from the heavy mask covering his face. The rubber-like material squeaked as he moved his arm, accentuating his point. Red just gave another exhaused moan, shaking his head. The material made a scrunching sound.
One of the tiny service drones scuttled by the Tallest, pausing and looking up. They apparently didn't notice him, so he waved his stubby arms in the air franticly to get their attention. A pair of ruby eyes, accompanied by another set of deep violet found their way to the floor. "My Sirs, we cannot risk the threat of infection to the other Irkens aboard this vessel. We've -- uh, your servants -- have, uh, asked that you wear those suits to prevent the spread of the disease...but only until we can learn more about this strange illness you've, uh, contracted...my Tallest..."
"Well, you're not going to learn more by locking us up in these things," Purple muttered under his breath. Thoroughly annoyed with his co-ruler, Red whapped him over the head with a gloved hand. "Ow! ... Hey! What did you do that for?"
"No real reason," Red grinned, evoking an angry snarl from from the other Tallest.
The service drone backed away, preferring much to be out of the way, just in case Purple decided to retaliate. Indeed, he seemed about ready to yell at Red, stopped only from a faint beeping sound coming from the control panel. Both Tallests swiveled around in their chairs, facing the giganic screen in confused anticipation.
"It's another transmission, Sirs. From...wait, that can't be right..." one of the Irkens, stationed at the control panel mused.
"What? Wh--" Red was cut off by a slight cough. It hurt to raise his voice now... "What is it? What's wrong?"
"It...it appears to be coming from this ship -- or, someplace close-by, anyway."
"Well? Answer it!" the ruby-eyed Tallest snapped.
Purple emmitted a sudden gasp, an idea snapping to his head. "Wait, don't answer it yet! You don't think it could be--?"
"My Tallest!"
Both rulers jumped up out of their chairs in shock, suddenly thankful to have their ever-present hoverbelts that helped avoid a painful crash. "Zim?" they demanded in unision. The Irken on-screen just gave a cackle. From beside him, seemingly eager to get a glimpse of what was happening on the screen, some unknown creature pranced from one side of Zim to the other trying to get a look around his shoulder.
"Yes, it is I! ...and the huu-uuman here." Zim scoffed, sending an awkward glance over his shoulder. Dib took the angry look he recieved as an indication that he was now supposed to be silent in quiet admeration of Zim's leaders. As if.
"Hey! Hey! I wanna see, too! Let me in, Zim!" he struggled, trying to force his way onto the tiny screen in the Voot Cruiser.
Zim shoved him backwards, an annoyed look contorting his features. Dib was knocked off balence, tripping over his own boots. Zim smirked, knowing that it would keep the human out of his antenna(1) long enough to allow him to finish making the call.
"I have not failed in my promise, my Tallest! I have arrived to see to it that you are restored to perfect health!"
The two Tallest looked at each other, a mixture of horror and amazement playing on their faces. Zim -- Zim had come all the way from...whatever planet he was sent to, along with one of the filthy creatures from that planet, and had flown all the way up to the Massive! Why had he even bothered to come? How did he manage to track the ship? They were so far away, they shouldn't have even been able to show up on the tiny Cruiser's radar! The Tallest were sure the incompitent little Irken never would've had the sense to be able to find them...
But there was no sense worrying about that now. Zim was now there. At the Massive.
"But -- but --" Purple stuttered, blinking. Red had a similar expression on his face, mouth open and gawking. It was like their worst nightmare (or, had they the ability to dream) come true.
Zim just gave a happy nod of his head, a suprisingly wicked grin crossing his face. "Yes, my Tallest, soon I'll be there. In fact, I'm at the teleporter bay right now. We will be aboard the Massive in but a few moments, so you won't need to worry anymore about that horrid illness you have!"
The screen cut off to static yet again, leaving the two Tallests simply standing there in shock.
Finally, shattering the silence, Purple cleared his throat. "So...um...now what?"
Red narrowed his eyes. A sudden thought made his face light up. He grinned, turning to the other Tallest. "Now...we play along."
"What? Are you crazy? I'm not letting that maniac anywhere near me!"
Red bopped him on the shoulder, shushing him -- after all, for all they knew Zim might have already reached the control room and just be listening outside the door. "No, listen. I have a plan. We let Zim and that little creature he brought along think that they're taking care of us and doing us a favour...right? Then we can trap them here. Lure them into a sense of false security, then launch them out somewhere in space with one of the smaller ships in the docking by. Lock the controls. You follow?"
Purple nodded his head.
"Good. So...all we have to do is play along with them. Of course, that means...putting up with Zim." Red forcibly shuddered. Purple just frowned.
"But he'll torture us, I just know it!" the violet Tallest whimpered, looking omnously over at the hollowed-out doorway. "Do we really have to wait that long? I mean, can't we just catch him and stuff him into one of the ships as soon as he come into the room?"
"Believe me, I'd like to..." Red mused. "But no. We have to play it this way -- that way, we can get rid of Zim once and for all! He'll never be the wiser! Think about it! No more transmissions, no more "suprise" packages(2) from him! Nothing! We'll finally be free of him!"
Purple seemed to consider this a moment, smiling dreamily. "He'll be gone..."
"Exactly. But we have to do it this way, okay? Besides...(cough) the "human", Zim called it, may be helpful for a bit...I'd like to get rid of this disease as soon as possible..." Purple nodded in agreement, resuming his anxious waiting and watching for the tiny Irken "invader". The door to the control room was still closed, but Zim would arrive soon.
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"Ooh! Ooh! Scary Monkey!"
The robot gave a high-pitched giggle, rocking wildly on the floor by clutching the bottoms of his feet. His Master had long since left, and he knew exactly what that meant... he could watch the Scary Monkey Show all he wanted, with no one to yell at him! And he could make popcorn, too! Earth popcorn tasted yummy, after all. And all the TV people said that it was the best thing to eat when watching TV...(3)
GIR sat attentively, watching the flickering screen perhaps a little too closely. The glow of the television's light was starting to hurt his eyes...or at least, what he called eyes. Carefully watching the show, a sudden frown crossed the metallic face of the S.I.R. unit, and he cocked his head sideways. "Oh, wait...nooo...I've seen this one...NOOO! WHY?" GIR rolled over onto his stomach, sobbing and pounding the floor for no real apparent reason. But to him, it meant that there would be no new Scary Monkey for a whole Earth day! And that meant no popcorn, either! He couldn't eat popcorn and not watch TV!
Seconds later, everything forgotten, GIR calmly leapt to his feet and shut off the TV. There was no sense in seeing the same episode again for the twelfth time, right? Besides, he was taping it up in his room.
Now, there was really nothing else that could fill the robot's tiny attention span. Not even his favourite squid toy seemed to amuse him anymore. He blinked, searching for something else to do. Out of the corner of his lenses, he spotted the window.
"Master left me all alone...maybe Master would like some company! I'll be he'd like that real good! Right, Squid?"
The squid sat, unblinking, on the couch.
"Yeah! I gotta go, Squid! But I'll bring ya back somethin'! Hee hee! Ooh, I better get on my doggy disgui...disg...uh...costume-thingy! Master gets all screamy when I don't wear it..." he muttered, pulling the green fabric out of the compartment in his head. He pulled it on over his body, zipped it up, then flung open the door. "You'll guard the house while I'm gone, right Squid? Bye-bye!"
He burst from the front step, remembering to shut the door behind him. Rockets on his feet cut through the fabric, and he zoomed off towards the sky. Oddly enough, no one back on the planet seemed to notice the strange sight.
The empty void of space was cold and quiet, and it suddenly occured to GIR that he didn't know where his Master actually was. Oh, well, he'd just have to search until he found him. How big could space be, anyway?
Uh-oh. Asteroids. GIR was tiny, and wasn't quite able to move fast enough to miss them, even with his rocket boosters on full blast (and not full of tuna). He nicked the side of a tiny one, tumbing a little. Fortunately, he was a robot and couldn't feel it too badly.
The other rocks, however, were larger. GIR gave a yelp, running straight into one of the rocks. His rocket boosters cut out, forcing him to land on the asteroid. The fairly-large rock, perhaps about the size of one of the Earth "cars", was slowly encircling Earth's moon. GIR winced as the rock tumbled onto the moon's surface. It landed on the opposite side of the side GIR clung to, though -- leaving the little robot unharmed. However...
The asteroid was embedded into the moon, and GIR's rocket boosters were broken. No! No, no, no! That meant that he couldn't go visit his Master! And it also meant he couldn't get home...
GIR climbed off of the smaller rock, on the verge of tears. He gave a solemn sniffle, sitting down on the moon's surface.
The Earth was ahead of him. The sight was breathtaking, he had to admit. GIR brightened, shaking the fears of being trapped on the moon out of his head. There was a way, there was always a way to get to where he wanted to go, after all! He'd just have to find it. Of course, finding the way to leave was going to involve being more focused than usual. The robot stood up, a happier smile on his face. Maybe he could call his Master, and his Master could pick him up! Of course, his Master might not like being interrupted...he said he was on an "important mission", after all. GIR wasn't entirely sure what that meant, but it seemed to be one of those things that his Master didn't like him bothering with.
So, for now, he'd just have to wait. GIR giggled to himself, pulling out a spare sandwich he had tucked into his head, and tore into it, gulping it down happily. There was nothing to do now but wait a while, until he thought his Master would be finished. Then he could call him.
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(1) Um...just to make myself 100 percent clear, antenna equals hair. Dunno if anyone got confused, but there seems to be a fine line between my jokes that don't make sense to anyone else, and to jokes everyone gets, so I thought I'd explain in case it was the former. Well, this wasn't nessisarily a joke, but...you know. nn;;
(2) Ploooot poooint...(coughs)
(3) The result of my annoyance with overly-enthusiastic and boastful popcorn commercials. (pokes popcorn) Glare...
Crystal: WHEE! IT'S DONE! (sweatdrops) Ehehe... SO sorry this took so long. I got writer's block on the second chapter...oO;; Not good...(ahem) The third chapter should be up in about...two weeks. (grins) You see, I'm going away for two weeks! Yay! I'm very happy. I'll work on the third chapter when I'm gone, though. In fact, it should be better than these past two chapters, because I'm inviting my friend to go with me for a couple of days and she's very good at writing plotstuffs and jokes, so she can maybe help me. (dances) Whoo-hoo! Hehe. Sorry this chapter wasn't all that funny either, but...I'm not a really humour writer. (hides) Don't hurt me! Ehehe...but I'm working on it. I have a more...hmm...odd sense of humour than most people. I thought some of the stuff that happened this chapter was funny, though, but most of you readers probably didn't...sorry again for that. IT WILL PICK UP! Somehow...
Anyway... You are going to review. Yes. You are. Poke the button...you like the review button...and it doesn't bite! So poke it! But be nice. Don't abuse it. It only bites you if you hurt it. Ooh, my favourite song is playing! (runs away)