Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Hellboy Universe, but I own Rielle and Lavinia. So there. :P

Note: I'm finding myself doubting my own conversations. Grr. Oh, and the ten tits line I had to steal, because I loved it so, from the pit and the pendulum, a very bad movie with Lance Hendrickson. Please don't sue, I'm a poor hapless student. Hope you enjoy it, and again, thank you muchly for the feedback.

Chapter Five:

Hellboy:

I only relaxed completely when she picked up her sandwich and took a giant bite.

"Mmm, dish ish weawy goosh."

I nodded, pretending I knew what the hell she was saying with a mouthful of food. She was a character alright, no wonder Pop liked her, totally different than the knife-wielding ice-queen from this morning. We ate in companionable silence, only rarely looking at each other to see if we were looking at each other. It was weird, but a nice change from 'Ahhh what the hell are you', or another of the usual barrage of questions.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Sigh. "Sure."

"What did you put on this?" She held up what was left of her dinner.

Oh. "It's a secret."

She growled and took another ungirlish bite. I just sat back and watched her eat. Besides the hunk of sandwich stuffed in her cheeks like a squirrel, she wasn't a bad looking chick. Not a model, but not ugly either. Handsome, if one could use that word for a girl. Brush that black hair till it shone, clean off the rest of the dirt and put her into some clean clothes and I sure as hell wouldn't deny she was a looker.

I must have stared too long cause she quirked her eyebrow at me again. Caught!

"What?" She felt her lips with a hand like she was checking for crumbs.

"Just curious."

"Ditto." She swallowed the last of her sandwich, blushing a little. For someone who acts tough she sure as hell can go shy and skittish fast. "You first."

I thought for a minute. What to ask first? I had so many questions but the chance to have them answered straight from the source wasn't something I thought would happen anytime soon. Finally I asked her why the sudden 180 degree change of attitude towards my appearance. "This morning you were ready to jump into battle, now you're eating with me alone in a kitchen and noticeably not homicidal." She laughed at 'homicidal.'

"Well, umm, okay, this morning, I was exhausted, sore as hell from the fall and in a strange place with a bunch of guys with needles. Add to that I was a little hung over with the Jack Daniels the night before."

"You didn't look hung over."

"By then I was pretty wired. Then in you come and all hell breaks loose, Lavinia freaks out... I just went into kill-mode."

"And now?" Her answer for this morning was understandable, I've been hung over and pissed off too, but her reaction tonight, or lack of, was still unanswered for and I really wanted to know.

"Now?" She fiddled with a napkin. "Now I know better."

"You know better."

"Yah." She nodded.

"And you don't care that I'm a big red guy with a tail." I flipped it a little for show.

"Can I be frank?"

I prepped myself for something bad. "Go ahead, I prefer honesty."

"I admit I'm nervous, I don't know you all that well. And all this?" She gestured around, "This place is new to me, and this entire situation is new to me. But the day I care about appearances is the day I grow ten tits and a cunt full of teeth."

Rielle:

He didn't stop laughing for a good minute. It was refreshing, full and really loud. I must have surprised him.

"You really are nuts!" He sputtered.

"Am not! I'm just blunt."

"Want a beer?" He offered, getting off his stool. I stared for a second at his long red tail, not answering. The way it curled sometimes was neat! "Hello?"

"Huh?" I snapped back to attention.

He grinned. "Were you checking' out my ass?"

"No!" I burst in self-defense. "Beer me." Technically I was, but not like that, the big pervert. He rescued a six-pack of Bud from the veggie drawer in the fridge and tossed a frosty one to me. American beer, Yuck!

"Your turn." He said after downing the entire can in one long pull. He grabbed another one and sat down while I thought of a question. I settled with something simple.

"Well, you already know my name, but I don't know yours."

"Hellboy."

"Hellboy?" I seriously doubted it. Hellboy would be a nickname at best, really. Then again I couldn't see this guy being named 'Steve' or 'Bob' either.

"Yup, everyone just calls me Red or something, so... yah, call me whatever."

I nodded. "Cool. Hellboy it is, then. Your go."

"That's it?"

"What?"

"That's your question. My name."

"Well, I wanted to know so I didn't say 'Hey You' all the time."

"Okay, lemme think."

I popped the tab on my own beer and chugged half of it. "Ugh, piss-light American beer."

"It works."

"Yah, but... ugh!"

"Hey, if you don't want it..." His tail went creeping across the table to snag my beer from me but I swatted it off.

"Grr. Mine." I hugged it to my chest and glowered at the receding tail. Neat, but sneaky.

"Got my question."

"Shoot."

"Why aren't you asking a bunch of questions?"

I polished off my can and he handed me the remaining three. "I don't know. I'm curious and all, It's not everyday I meet someone like you. But it seems..." I hesitated, trying to find the right word. "Rude. It seems rude. If someone I never met started with a million extra personal questions, or just plain dumb ones, I'd be a little pissed."

He nodded, quiet, so I continued. "If you tell me about yourself, it should be when and how you want to, not because I'm forcing you. If I really want to know something, I'll ask, but for now I'll just leave it alone until I know you better. Make sure I don't say anything that'll piss you off." I finished with a grin.

"Ha!"

"And I'll assume you'll do the same for me? Your secrets are your own, just like mine are mine."

"Fair enough. Your turn."

I laughed. After that big speech about personal questions I was supposed to think of an appropriate one? I needed more beer for that. I tossed Hellboy one of the last two, which he caught easily in that huge right hand of his, and left the final one in the middle for when I was done mine.

"Ahh, I have a good one. Was that you coughing in the next room this morning?"

He scratched his head, trying to look innocent. Funny, but not working one bit.

"Nevermind, you just told me." I said with a smirk, sipping victoriously at my beer. I was already feeling the affects; beer was always evil to me. I generally preferred harder stuff as it didn't make me as drunk as fast. "You know what? I better get my ass back to my room. I need a shower."

Hellboy grinned and sniffed. "Yah, You do."

I glared at him and threw my empties across the room straight into the garbage.

"Nice shot!"

"A fringe benefit of being a formal NBA fanatic." I said as I put my plate in the sink, and then went for his too, having to reach around his massive bulk from behind to get it. "Scuse' me." He shifted a little to the left and I took his empties away too. He smelled a bit like cigar smoke, and that just upped my nicotine fit. I hadn't had a smoke since... well, a while, and I was jittery.

Suddenly his head turned a little and we were face to face, less than half a foot apart. From here I could really see the gold in his eyes. "You really don't care what I look like, do you?"

Big lug's got a thick skull. "No, I don't."

"Why?"

My response was instant. "I'm used to being judged by my appearance, but I still hate it. So I've tried not to judge others on theirs." I found I couldn't look him in the eye anymore. I blamed it on the beer.

Hellboy seemed confused. "How?"

"You really like the monosyllabic questions, don't you?" I joked, trying to lighten the conversation. Monosyllabic though they were, his questions were deep and took thought to answer properly, but not over-personal.

My effort to lighten the mood didn't work, he just sat there and frowned, and I felt a little dumb. I found myself blurting out an answer instead of thinking about it, a fault of mine that happened a lot. "People assume that because I'm an Indian I'm a drunken lazy welfare slut, at least they do where I come from."

Hellboy looked like he wanted to say something but before he could I kept on talking, "The fact is, I'm not. And neither are a majority of us. But in general, people don't look at the good in us; they flourish in thinking about the bad. Indian equals drunk, and nothing is going to change their mind."

I took his empty cans to the sink, still talking. "I can see people looking at you and thinking a thousand things that aren't true. So yah, I don't care what you look like, the whole 'judge not lest ye be judged' shit. As long as you're a good person, I don't care if you spew snot out of every orifice and play with your ding-dong constantly." I paused again, enjoying his frown change to a tight grin, "And from what I can tell, you are a decent person. You shared your beer and talked to me, and didn't threaten to eat me for breakfast again." I finished my scattered tirade with another joke, I had to. Just my way.

Hellboy:

I wanted to hug her. She was leaned back against the counter, hugging herself and blushing furiously, and apparently very interested in something on her bandaged foot.

"I'm sorry. I tend to babble sometimes, and say some shit that can be pretty idiotic."

This young woman with so much hard won wisdom, strong but shy, thought she was an idiot? My ass. I found myself already putting her on my 'protect' list. I've never been so amazed with a person in my entire life, and that said a lot. Well, besides Liz, but she was in a category of worship all of her own.

Rielle shook herself and stood straight. "I better go before I say something dumber." She picked up a knee length brown leather jacket and slung it over her shoulders, pulling it tight around her tiny frame.

I played with the tab of my beer can, snapping it over and over til it broke off, unsure of what to say. I wanted to tell her she wasn't an idiot or dumb or anything but I couldn't find the words. Anything that popped in sounded too, well, cheesy.

She turned to leave and I had to think quickly of something to say so she'd stay for another minute. I just said "Hey." And she stopped mid-stride. She looked back at me, hand on the door handle. "Tell your friend I like my chili super hot." Ooh, nice one, dumb-ass.

She busted out laughing again. Nice to hear and it broke that final bit of uneasiness we both had. "You? You're the 'Special Team' Broom talked about?"

"Me and a couple others, yah."

"Damn, and I thought she was cooking for old army vets or something."

My turn to laugh. Well, it was sort of true, I was old in a way, older than her at least, pushing 60, and a veteran at my job. But I wasn't all wrinkled like Pop.

Rielle turned back to the door, "But I'll tell her anyway, I'm sure she'll be thrilled."

"No jalapeño's though."

"Wuss." She teased, disappearing out the door before I could fight back.

"Hey!"

She called me a chicken! No fair! I just hated jalapeño's! Didn't she just hear me say I liked my chili hot? Damn!

Rielle:

I giggled all the way back to my room where the guard awaited my return.

"Find the place alright?"

"Uh huh."

She opened the door for me and I stepped past the boundary, quietening down so I didn't wake Lavinia. The guard also kept her voice considerably low. "Well, goodnight then."

"Night!" I shut the door on the guard softly before tiptoeing back to the bunk bed and stripping my jacket off. My clothes really were stinky so they went next, thrown into a corner near my boots where they wouldn't be within smelling distance.

I decided to risk waking Lavinia by taking a shower before sacking out for the remaining hours before dawn. I was surprised to find the bathroom acceptably spacious and well stocked with towels, toilet paper and even a tiny tube of toothpaste. Thank the Gods because whatever Hellboy put on that sandwich smells pretty rank.

Naked and chilled I explored the bathroom, discovering a tiny bottle of shower gel that didn't smell all girly and a few bottles of two in one shampoo. I held back a cheer when the hot water worked and climbed into the shower.

As I soaped myself up real good I couldn't help but think of Hellboy. Sounds pervy, me thinking of that big monkey while all wet and soapy, but it wasn't like that. Really! Who wouldn't be plagued by thoughts of him after meeting him?

Cleaning my swollen foot was a bitch, but I managed to do it without wiping out and bonking my head on something. It didn't hurt nearly as much with all the hot water soothing it. I was making progress getting all the crud off my hair and skin, more light than dark brown showing, and I didn't smell bad anymore. Big jerk pretty much said I stunk, I recollected, grinning, he didn't exactly smell like sweetness and roses either.

I tried to turn my thoughts away from him but then I found a small dried glob of ketchup in my hair and busted out laughing before I could stop myself. Unfortunately I also heard a thump outside and covered my mouth in horror when Lavinia stomped into the bathroom.

"If you're gonna play with yourself in the shower, at least be quiet about it, I'm trying to sleep."

I sputtered a little at her and told her to piss off. I heard her mischievous snickering as she flushed the toilet, an act of revenge for waking her up. Screaming, I leapt away from the sudden intolerably hot stream of water and cursed her to grow fungus in her armpits. Bitch!