Why, Spacemonkey, Why?
(Grawr. Randomly was wondering about this yesterday… Short, simple, tasteless. Weird. Spoliers? Well, tis at the end of it all, and I mean all, so… yeah. Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Sg-1.)
It was a day like no other. The sun was shining brightly on a cloudless day and in the backyard of Jack O'Neill's home was all of SG-1, sitting at the lake with their fishing gear and finally had time to relax after years and years of battles.
"This is the life. Back where we belong-No offense, T." The general of the SGC added on, receiving a nod of pardon from Teal'c in return. "As I was saying, back where we belong, no crazy so-called gods with snakes in their heads, no Kinsley and best of all, I have all the time in the world to do my favorite hobby without all that Ancient knowledge eating up my brain."
"Sir, I still don't see the connection." The fair-haired woman known as Samantha Carter had been pondering and attempting to figure out the logic. "I just don't see it. How can you even get the idea of comparing an animated character in a fictional world to one say… Anubis or any of the other Go'auld?"
"Oh, come on, Carter!" The general's grin had long since faded when he heard those dreadful words. "Think about it! Besides the whole 'excellent' thing and the vulture-like look, you can easily compare Mister Burns with Appophis and all those snake-heads!"
Daniel, who was sitting back in his lawn chair on the grass with his eyes watching the sky, pursed his lips slightly in thought as his elbows were propped up on the arm of the chair; fingers interlocked. He had this nagging thought in the back of his complicated mind and until now, it had been repressed for years. After all he had been through, being dead—more like ascended technically—and going through countless battles that were sure to end in death, the archeologist just had to know the answer of a simple question…
"Jack." He drawled out the other's name in slight thought as he pondered how exactly to put the question as he flicked his gaze downward to the back of the general's head.
"Daniel." Typical response.
A silence passed throughout the group before Daniel finally voiced his question. "Jack, why exactly do you call me… spacemonkey… You have for years and I have been wondering why you chose that specific nickname."
Sam blinked as she turned around in her chair to look back at Daniel, seeing his face was one of puzzlement before looking back at Jack. "Sir?"
The Jaffa on their team raised an eyebrow in question, also wondering himself as he focused his attention on Jack. "I am wondering about that as well, O'Neill. From what I understand, a chimpanzee is one of the creatures that lives here on earth and it is a warm-blooded animal. Are you implying that Daniel Jackson is in fact one of those creatures?"
"What? No, no!" Jack waved a hand to dismiss it. "It's simple."
"Oh?" Sam interjected, grinning slightly but was still curious
"Well, like the rest of us, he travels through space, fights the bad guys and stuff." Nothing more was added in the explanation… if it could have been called such.
"So, from what I understand, you're saying I'm a spacemonkey because I travel through the stargate. Ah, I see." It was evident in Daniel's voice that there was sarcasm taking over. "So… If that's true then why aren't the rest of us called that, hm?"
"Just because." Jack had still not turned around; his eyes were focused on the fishing at hand.
"Ah, okay." Daniel went quiet for a moment, just dragging the game out further. "Because why?"
"For cryin' out loud, Daniel! It's just a nickname! Like how I call Sam 'Carter' and Teal'c 'T'. Get it?"
"I understand that, Jack. But why?"
"Daniel!"
"I want to know too, sir. It's even more puzzling than your comparison between a Simpson's character and a race that proclaimed themselves as gods for many races." Sam interjected before a heated 'argument' broke out.
"I'm just curious." Daniel said innocently. "But I am intrigued, Jack. Honestly, it's a harmless question. It's not like I'm asking you to translate a foreign text into plain English."
"Yeah, yeah…" Jack took a drink out of the beer bottle and still had not answered the question. "Spacemonkey…"
Daniel narrowed his eyes slightly from the comment and let his mind work at the nickname again, trying to figure out. It had to be one of the most puzzling things he had ever attempted to. It was so simple yet so complicated, like one of the tablets with an ancient unknown language carved in to send a message of warning.
"…Jack." The name was drawled out again but in a different tone… one that sounded almost spiteful in realization. "Are you saying I look like a monkey?"
Sam choked on the mouthful of her drink as soon as the last word left the archeologist's mouth and she covered her own with her hand.
Jack's hand was holding his own beer bottle and it had stopped mid-way for him to take a drink and it remained there for a long moment. He knew Daniel was perhaps glaring at him but he merely brought the bottle to his mouth and uttered something before he took a drink.
"Yep…"
"What?" Daniel sat up from his lounging in the lawn chair in disbelief. "How can you—Why would you--…How!"
"Just because."
"Teal'c just asked you the same question—"
"Ah!" Jack held up his pointer finger to cut off the other, turning in his chair slightly to look at the flustered archeologist. "He asked if you were a knuckle-dragging ape—."
"Monkey."
"Right, whatever. Monkey. But you asked if you looked like a monkey and that was the right question to ask."
"That doesn't make any sense! Just how do I look like a monkey, Jack! Sure, there are theories that… that man was evolved from the primate species but…but what makes me look like a monkey so you can call me one!" Daniel was glaring invisible daggers through the lenses of his round glasses.
"Well…" Jack had a thoughtful look upon his face before he gave the other a look that only read 'isn't it obvious?' "Do you really wanna know, Danny boy?"
"Well yes!" Daniel blurted out, his tone changed to one of annoyance and even more disbelief, if possible.
"Well, since you asked so darned nicely, I'll cut you some slack." Jack paused dramatically. "You know those times when you just get kidnapped for god knows how long or you're thought to be dead and you're wandering about in the ol' wilderness until someone finds you?"
"Yes."
'Ah, the impatience.' Jack mused silently. "Well, there is no denying that you even look like one of those little chimps when you haven't shaved for days… It's all that little stuff that just gives me the impression that you're one of the apes."
"…What!" Daniel was absolutely infuriated at that point. "Jack, you--…How can you--… Why would--…Argh!"
Sam was mostly silent again being caught twice to choke on her cursed drink as soon as Jack gave his detailed theory about Daniel's appearance. Gods, she didn't dare to look at either Jack or Daniel. She was afraid that she would start laughing from the sheer oddness of it all. Teal'c said nothing, only looked at Daniel then Jack with his eyebrow raised in question but he was smirking in the very slightest…
"There's the answer to the million dollar question, Danny boy." Jack held up the beer bottle as if saying 'cheers' and turned back to the fishing… or lack there of at the moment. "Just sit back and have a beer, spacemonkey."
"Jack!" The archeologist glared at the back of the general's head again, wanting to say so much but he couldn't find the right words to argue against the absolutely horrible nickname.
Spacemonkey. Of all things Jack could have called him, it had to be spacemonkey!
(Whoo… I'm not sure if anyone had thought of the weirdness of the little nickname but I like it… Spacemonkey! Yes, Danny boy will forever be known as Spacemonkey all thanks to flyboy. Though… twas lame so there's my writing from about a year's worth of not writing at all! Whee…Fear my lamenes! First time writing a Stargate SG-1 story thing and it turns out to be this piece of crap... Haven't watched Stargate in a while either... I wonder if it's on now...Typos are your enemy!)