By Your Side
Chapter 7
" Mr. Speedle, please come in and take a seat," the doctor said as the door closed behind Tim. Tim looked warily at the young doctor and dropped his head. He figured that he wasn't many years over the legal drinking age. The doctor noticed the skepticism and assured him, " Mr. Speedle, I'm older than I look. What did you have me at?"
Tim smiled a little and shrugged, " No older than twenty five."
"I'm thirty -two. I graduated at the top of my class in Med school and I have been working here for almost five years," the doctor replied smirking.
"I-I'm sorry, doc, I didn't mean to offend..."
" No, no don't worry about it, Mr. Speedle. I get it all the time. Now take a seat so we can talk about Sascha." the doctor said as he gestured to the chair. Tim looked at the chair with apprehension.
" I 'd rather stand, doctor..." Tim started as he shifted his weight uneasily. For a slight moment, he had forgotten why he was really here.
" West. Riley West. And I prefer that we sit, Mr. Speedle."
Tim sat down slowly , allowing his adrenaline to subside a little. He didn't want to stop and think about what the good doctor had to say to him, but he had to know.
" Dr. West, what's going on with my daughter?" Tim asked as he stared at the floor.
" Mr. Speedle,..."
" Tim."
"Tim, Sascha was shot in the back twice and she needed emergency surgery. One bullet traveled through her back and nicked her lung, causing the blood to flood it. That bullet then hit her fourth rib and splintered. The second bullet..." West started but then glanced at the floor.
Tim noticed his hesitation and felt a tremendous fear rise up. He had listened as the doctor had explained plainly what the first bullet had done with a bated breath.
" What is it, Dr. West? What about the second bullet?"Tim said as the tears threatened to choke his words.
" Tim, there was severe swelling ..."
" Doc, just come out with it. What has happened?" Tim replied as the tears now dropped from his brown eyes.
" The bullet is lodged in the spinal column. We were unable to get it out due to the swelling."
" Can't you get it out when it goes down?" he asked , his voice cracking. This was his worst nightmare.
" No, Tim. She's lapsed into a coma. The neurosurgeon doesn't want to attempt retrieval while she is unconscience. When she wakes, hopefully the swelling will go down."
" What's her prognosis? When she wakes up. Will she be able to walk?" he asked feeling his stomach tightening into knots.
" First, Tim, she has to wake up. The first twenty four hours are crucial and hopefully she will. But some comas have been known to last anywhere from two weeks to a month...
" To years," Tim stated bluntly. He knew the statistics. He held his stomach feeling the urge to get up, but instead he forced the nausea down.
" Yes to years. It's important that we have a positive outlook on this." Dr. West stated as he closed the file. " Sascha could wake up in the morning and be just fine."
" Or she could be paralyzed for the rest of her life, right doc?"
" Yes it is a possibility, Tim. We may never be able to get the bullet. Nobody knows at this point. It's the waiting game. What matters is that you be there when she comes out of this."
" And I plan on it, believe me. She's all I have had for so long, doc. I don' t know what I would do..."
" Let's not think about it, Tim. Let's think about the now. I can take you up to ICU. Just let me drop off this paper work." Dr. West said as he clapped Tim on the shoulder.
" Dr. West?" Tim said absently.
" Yes?"
" Thanks. For everything."
" No problem. I'm going to be Sascha's attending doctor, so I'm sure I'll be seeing a lot of you. I'll meet you at the elevators just outside the emergency rooms. There will only be one visitor allowed in her room tonight, but tomorrow we are going to limit it to two per hour. Okay?"
" Yes. Thanks , doc." Tim said as he pulled the door open. Instantly his eyes searched for the nearest bathroom. When he got there, he emptied the contents of his stomach and then sat on the floor of the stall and wept bitter tears for his precious daughter. Gathering himself up off of the floor he wiped his face with the heel of his hand and walked out of the bathroom. He now had to tell them what had happened to the love of his life.
In the waiting room, Sam glanced over to Calleigh who was sitting quietly by herself in the corner. Alexx was on her cell phone near the door explaining to her supervisor what had happened. Sam took the moment to walk over to Calleigh and sit next to her. In all of her years with Tim, all she heard about Calleigh was how much in love he used to be with her, and she could see why. Calleigh was beautiful in every sense of the word , her long blond hair fell straight down her back and accented her lithe figure. It gave pause to Sam to think about his relationship with her and for a split second , she found herself to be jealous. Had Tim been comparing her to Calleigh? Shaking the thought from her mind , she was reminded of why they were in the emergency room and she felt the jealousy slip away. She had nothing to envy, Calleigh had been the one who abandoned them in the first place.
Clearing her throat, Sam turned to speak with her. " Calleigh? I'm Samantha Spade. I don't know if we've been formally introduced."
" No we haven't, but I can tell that you have been with Tim for a while. How long?" Calleigh asked as she faced her. Her green eyes glittered with tears.
" Four years," Sam returned with a broad smile on her face. " It's been divine. He's so good to me, and for me."
" Yeah, Tim is the best. You will never find another like him. If I were you, I'd keep him under lock and key," Calleigh said with no humor in her voice. She then turned to stare at the floor again. She could barely stand sitting next to the woman who had Tim's heart now.
Sam felt the tension as it escalated. Did she just warn me?, she thought. Shifting herself in the seat she said, " Why didn't you call?" She really wanted to know why she chose to let the best things in her life go.
" I don't think I have to explain myself to you. It's complicated." Calleigh retorted.
" I just wanted to know why you didn't try. Tim loved you more than his own life. You could've called..."
" Who are you to judge? You don't know me ! You don't know what I have been through!" Calleigh exclaimed loudly. Alexx looked up to see Sam sitting next to Calleigh and sighed.
" Look, Glen let me call you back. I know what I said... Well take it up with the brass... I don't care, I have enough time saved up to take a year off!" Alexx said as she kept her eyes on the two of them. " I'll call you,"she returned as she flipped the phone down, " Jack ass."
She then walked to the chair and stood behind them.
" I'm not judging you, just stating truths! You should've called at least!" Sam said.
" You don't know anything, only what Tim has told you. Why don't you go find some other family to bust up?" Calleigh as her southern accent took a deadly tone. Sam stood up followed by Calleigh.
" Hey, hey ladies," Alexx said slipping in between them, " let's not forget why we are here. Try and act civilized."
" That would be a good idea," Tim said as he eyed the both of them. He cringed at the sight. His daughter was up in ICU and they were down here in a girl fight. " Maybe you two could take it outside and really have a brawl."
Sam saw the hurt and despair in the eyes that used to hold such warmness. She knew that it wasn't good and instantly she was ashamed of herself.
" I-I'm sorry, Tim." Sam said apologetically. She then held her head down.
" She's in a coma," Tim said back to them. " There's a bullet stuck in her spinal column, and the doctor doesn't know if she will walk again."
The words hung in the air as they all took in the news. Sam put a hand up to her mouth to stop a wail that was threatening to break through and felt the tears as they dropped . She walked over to Tim and took him in a deep embrace. As Sam held him, he let out a loud cry and almost sent the both of them to the floor. He then looked at her, the sadness that she bore as well. He just wanted to close his eyes and wish all of this gone.
" They don't know..." he started.
Calleigh walked over to him, herself crying , and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. Tim snatched away from her and then turned to her with viciousness in his eyes.
" Don't touch me. It's because of you that Sascha's lying up there. If you hadn't come, she'd be at the movies right now. Why, Calleigh? Why did you have to come?"
" Tim..."
" I want you to leave, Calleigh. Now." Tim said as he wiped his eyes.
" She's my daughter too..."
" Yes, she is. But was she yours when she had the chicken pox, or when she had tonsilitis or when she broke her arm at school? Was she yours when she cried herself to sleep the first two years she was here? You didn't even try, Calleigh. No calls , no letters, nothing! Why try now? You think you're going to get back with me?"
" Tim, I- I wanted to apologize..."
" Done. Now leave."Tim said simply.
" Tim...
" I said leave!"his anger was boiling to the top.
" I'm so sorry Tim..."
" What is it that you don't understand, Calleigh? LEAVE!"Tim said as he lost his composure. Sam held him by his arms , recognizing his deadly anger.
Calleigh looked at him horrified and turned to walk out. Alexx looked at Tim with understanding in her heart and she then went to see about Calleigh. Outside the emergency room, she found her as she was getting into a cab. Alexx sighed then returned to the family room only to find that they had left. She walked down the corridor and spotted them as they turned the corner. Picking up her pace, she made it to the elevator just before the doors closed. She saw as Tim held a hand out to stop the doors from closing. Settling in for the ride up to ICU, Alexx looked at Tim as Sam held him by the waist. This was the worst she had seen him in all the years that she knew him.
" She's gone, Tim." Alexx said softly.
" Good. Maybe she went back to Horatio," he said tiredly. He didn't want to think about Calleigh. Right now , he wanted to see his daughter.
The doors opened to a nurses desk that took up the front hall. Stepping out, Tim could see the patient's rooms through the glass door that stood between them and the remainder of the corridor. To the right was restrooms, the left the family waiting rooms. Tim walked up to the nurse's station and said, " Sascha Speedle , please."
" Mr. Speedle I presume?" the nurse asked as she looked at the flow chart.
" Yes."
" She's in room 413. The rest of your party can wait in the family rooms. I'm Debbie, the head nurse for the D shift rotation. I'll be on duty until seven o'clock. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to let me know," she said as she tried to instill some comfort. The look on his face broke her heart.
" Thanks, Debbie. This is Samantha Spade and Alexx Woods. They are very close to Sascha," Tim said as he introduced them.
" I'm Sascha's god mother," Alexx added.
" And I am her soon to be step mom," Sam said as she held Tim's hand.
" Nice to meet you all. Mr. Speedle,..."
"Tim."
" Tim," the nurse repeated with a smile on her face, " I have a son named Tim. But what I was going to say was that Sascha has a lot of things going on and I just wanted to warn you before you went in."
"Is it that bad, Debbie?"Tim asked feeling the need to sit down.
" It's not that bad , but it could be overwhelming ,especially for a parent to see their child in this state. I just wanted to let you know what is going on."
" Okay."
" First, she's on a respirator to help her to breathe, so I ask that no cell phones be brought into the room.. Then she's got an IV which is keeping her hydrated and the doctor ordered something to keep her blood flowing. She is also hooked up to an EKG to monitor her heart rhythms. And her pulse is being monitored as well. It may look like she's a stereo player, but all of these things are keeping her with us. As you know she's in a coma, but feel free to speak to her. All some patients have to do is hear it and it becomes so. Now, if you're ready , Tim?"
Tim nodded and started to follow Debbie to Sascha's room. He looked back at Sam and Alexx and waved slightly, leaving them with their tears.
The nurse opened the door to the room and stepped inside, allowing Tim to walk in behind her. The room was lit only by a lamp that was positioned over the bed and it cast an eerie glow as the only noise that was heard was the quiet swishing of the respirator as it pumped oxygen into her body. Debbie pulled a chair next to the bed then quietly left Tim to be with her.
As he walked over to her, his eyes stung with fresh tears that had sprung. She lay on the bed with her eyes closed and a tube running from her mouth. Her dark hair served as a halo as it had been spread out behind her. It was curly from the perspiration that had formed on her forehead, matting her bangs. He watched as her chest fell in rhythmic time with the machine. He then sat down next to her, moments from the past flooding his memory...
" Daddy ,I ma big girl . I did it all by myself..."
" I wanna ride again daddy, please..."
" Daddy ,look at me I'm riding my bicycle..."
"Will mommy ever come back , Daddy?..."
" Dad can I go out with Amanda and Karis?..."
He took her hand in his and felt the coolness of her skin. With his other hand, he gently moved a stray hair from her face.
" Sash, I'm here honey. It's daddy. I want you to get better baby. I -I can't lose you. You are my little girl," he said as he let the tears flow freely. " Don't you worry, I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to be right here , by your side, until you get better. You hear me, Sash?"
He squeezed her hand with hopes of feeling her reply, but nothing came. He laid his head down on her hand and wept again as the room remained deathly quiet. He wasn't going anywhere.
TBC...
A/N: Okay , I cribbed a name from Speedmonkey (Leaving You for Him). I must give props for the awesome name. And also it is a must that I apologize for tremendously screwing up the medical jargon. Hope you like :).
A/N #2 : I also cribbed a line from Hard Time. See if you can find it :) !