note: I'm pulling this shit out of my ass, so don't believe a word of it. I don't' know fuck all about the military or shit going on in the Middle East. I claim no knowledge of CSIS either, just what I've read on the internet. If you're military or something, don't come breaking down my door or anything, okay? I'm making this shit up as I go. Lol. Anything that I write, if some of it is actually true, it's purely coincidence.

this is a long-un, a two parter... the second half I haven't written yet. :) it's been one of the hardest chapters to write for me...

Chapter Thirteen: part one

Hellboy:

Rielle tried to get up off of the floor, but halfway up she seemed to lose strength in her knees, because down she went, hitting the floor with a thump and a grunt that resounded off the walls. She held her head in her hands and only then did I notice how badly she was injured. Her right hand was curled and covered with gauze, and she leaned her head-weight mostly on her left. I also noticed the giant scar running up the front of her torso. Whatever had made that had undoubtedly been painful, and I only hoped that she hadn't been awake when it happened. I could see the goose bumps on her skin and I wanted to cover her up, but instead I made a joke about her underwear. Real smart.

"Don't feel so good." She muttered incoherently, slowly tipping over to one side. Abe caught her before she landed though, quick fish, and kept her body steady as her eyes closed.

"She's out." Abe said, as her head fell on his shoulder, "Red, help me carry her back to the Professor's office, if you could, please?" He said, wrapping his arms around her and under her arms, being very careful not to jostle the injured parts. I shrugged nonchalantly and grabbed her feet, being gentle but simultaneously staring at the ugly scar. It looked like it was done with something big and sharp, but I couldn't quite tell what. A sword maybe? Yah, right, she got jumped by a bunch of ninjas, huh?

In Father's office we placed her gently on the floor in front of the fire. My father was off to the side with a washcloth and a bowl of water, looking concerned. He kneeled down next to Rielle and started wiping the sweat off her brow with the cloth. I winced when his knees cracked as he knelt, worried that he didn't even use his cane to help himself down.

"What's going on?" I finally asked, sick of waiting for someone to just tell me. Nobody tells me shit around here. Abe picked up a blanketand covered Rielle with it before answering me.

"Tanner and Ackland had her in the interrogation room for a while. She was tortured before I could get her out of there."

My vision temporarily turned red but I kept control in front of my father. He gave me a small smile and cleaned the rest of Ellie's face. I noticed another cut on her lip and a bruise forming on her cheek. "What did they do to her?"

After Abe told me about the finger crushing I lost it. It took my father blocking the door to stop me from going to the Med Lab and pounding Ackland into putty.

"Sit down." He said sternly, pointing at the chair with a very mean looking scowl that would probably scare most of the spooks I've ever dealt with. Hesitantly I obeyed, plopping myself in a chair and keeping my mouth shut as the two of them took care of Ellie.

What the fuck were they torturing her for? I didn't know, I had only seen the Wanted Poster, I didn't know about any of the supposed crimes she had committed or why they were searching for her. All I knew was that she was my friend and I didn't like seeing her all cut up like that.

I wondered if Lavinia knew anything that she wasn't telling me. She told me that she knew nothing about it when I talked to her in her cell, but she could have been lying. I didn't think so but I'd been fooled by people before. I'd have to get Abe to read her just to be sure.

"Red, come here and help us get her to the couch. She's going to be out for a couple of hours."

After that was done, Abe left and got back into his tank to get some shuteye. Father was tired as well, so I volunteered to keep watch over Rielle for a few hours. Lavinia was asleep when I left her and hopefully would remain so for a few more hours. It was daylight by now but I'd lost track of time. I said goodnight anyways to my father and saw him out of the office, leaving me alone with Rielle.

Shit, I can't even smoke in here. Should have had her moved to my room. At least the cats would keep her warm. I made myself comfortable on a nearby chair and watched her sleep for about an hour before I nodded off myself.

I felt something on my shoulder a couple of hours later, after a few strange dreams of gunfire and smoke. It startled me awake and I made a grab for whatever it was, unsure if it was form the dream or for real.

"Red! It's just me!" It was Rielle's voice. I opened my eyes and lifted my head from the armrest to see her kneeling next to me, wrapped up in a blanket with her hair in her eyes. Her eyes were huge and more than a little freaked out.

"Heya kid." I groaned stretching a little before sitting up. "How are you feeling?"

She snorted. "Better. Still a little dizzy, but not quite a raving lunatic like before."

"Good. You scared my dad." I meant it as a joke (sort of) but when she hung her head I took it back. "Just kidding kid, relax." She took a heavy breath and sat back on her ankles.

"Where is he?" She asked softly, pulling the blanket tighter around her.

"I sent him to bed a few hours ago. I guess he'd been up all night trying to figure out what's going on."

"Oh." she played with the gauze on her right hand, and I couldn't help but grimace remembering what Abe said they did to her.

"What is going on, anyways? I saw this wanted poster with your face on it and I hear that Tanner had quite a fit when he found out you had already left the base."

Again she took a deep breath and kept her mouth shut. She actually looked an inch away from crying, but kept her face stony. Back to the Ice Queen from a few days ago.

"Alright, but dad's going to want answers, you know." I sighed, getting off the chair and stretching again. I congratulated myself on my calmness, when I really wanted to just shake her and make her tell me what the hell was going on. I didn't like being kept in the dark, and I thought we were friendly enough with each other that she would not have to lie to me anymore. Apparently not.

"Look," she said, staring up at me from the floor, looking very tiny. "I'll tell you, but when everyone's here, you, Abe, your dad, and… and Lavinia." She finished with a shudder. "God this is going to suck" she said. I helped her back to the couch and got her a glass of water, which she gratefully swallowed down without a breath. "Just in case I pass out again, I'm sorry for lying to you, Red."

"S'alright." I said, sitting next to her and letting her rest her head on my shoulder. I waited until she was asleep again before I let myself nod off again. Nothing like another warm body to help you sleep.

Lavinia:

When someone finally came to get me I was relieved. I thought they were going to keep me in here forever despite what Big Red told me earlier. He said that this was probably just procedure, that I didn't have anything to do with what was going on and they'd eventually let me go. I wasn't sure what to do if they ever did let me go, I mean, could I actually leave the base without finding out what's going on with Rielle? Hell no. Whatever she did, or whatever they were blaming her for; I'd stick by her. Shit, she'd stuck by me through some tough shit in our lives; I could only do the same back for her. Even throughout the drug rehab Rielle went through she stuck with me.

The guards that came for me were unarmed, so obviously they knew I wasn't some kind of dangerous criminal. They kept their mouths shut when I asked them what was happening, and I gave up pretty quick. Fucking military silent treatment. Need to know basis my ass.

I was a little surprised when they took me to Broom's office instead of another interrogation chamber or the front exit. There was something about seeing these doors right now that sent a chill down my spine, like something inside was going to be bad for me. The guards left me alone so I just stood there for a minute, unsure whether to go in or not. Did I really want to know what was going on or should I just chicken out and run for the exit?

You big pussy, get in there and figure this shit out or it's going to keep buggin' you.

I pushed the doors open and squealed. There was Rielle! I didn't notice anything wrong with her at first, I just ran up and gave her the biggest bear hug I could until she yelled for me to let her go. Only then did I notice her right hand was wrapped in gauze and her lip was split open. Where were her clothes? They had her in some more military fatigues instead of the nice clothes she had packed a couple of days ago. Her hair was a mess, and was that blood? What the fuck's going on?

Red, Abe and the Mad Hatter were all present, either holding coffee or juice and all looked a little grim.

"Alright, what is this? Why is she all cut up and shit? Why are you guys looking so gloomy? We're not getting executed by the state or something are we?"

Broom outright laughed at the last question. "No executions, my dear. Coffee?"

Exasperated, I threw my hands up. "NO! I don't want coffee! I want to know what the fuck happened to my friend!"

"Calm down sweetie, I'm okay." Rielle said.

"My brown ass!"

Abe put his hand on my arm and led me to a chair before I could freak out on them any further. "Just sit down for a minute and relax." He passed me a coffee and sat next to me. He smelled like seaweed.

I Do Not!

I leapt out of the chair and shook my finger at him. "Don't do that! I'm bugged out enough as it is!" He pulled me back down next to him and I gave him the glare of death. Ellie was seated over by Hellboy, looking awake but beaten up. "What happened to your hand?"

Rielle didn't look too good, like she was going to puke. In a small voice she answered "I'll tell you in a minute."

I merely growled in response. Fuck, nobody tells me shit around here! Abe patted my leg and went to lock the doors. He didn't sit back down again, just stood off to the side a bit while Broom found himself a comfortable chair. It looked as if we'd be here for a while. Maybe I'd finally get some fucking answers.

'Okay, now that we're all here and in one piece," he paused to look at Rielle, who gave him a wry smile and put her head back on Red's shoulder. "I think it's about time we got an explanation from Rielle."

"But I want to know why she's all fucked up like that!" I almost screamed. I knew I swore in front of Broom again but right now I didn't care much.

Abe explained it to me, what he saw when he walked into the Interrogation room but I have a feeling he left some stuff out. I would have asked Ellie but her eyes were all unfocussed and dead looking. They broke her fingers with a bottle opener, so I excused her ignoring me for now. "Okay, so why did they do that in the first place? It's not like she's dangerous or anything."

When Abe pointedly glanced at Ellie, she curled a little tighter against Red, but lifted her head and looked around the room. "Fuck." She muttered with a deep breath.

Rielle:

This is going to suck. I can't even look at Lavinia without wanting to hide in Red's armpit (which was not at all pleasant). Here I have to reveal a secret I've kept from my best friend for almost 8 years, and in a military base of all places, where most likely I'm going to be jailed for the rest of my life. Fuck. Not good. Well, I couldn't exactly escape and run for the border, now could I?

With a sigh of resignation and a small poke from Red, I uncurled myself and sat straight, hugging my coffee like it was the last thing holding my body together. The carpet looked pretty. "How do I start?" I asked, completely lost. What do I start with?

"Well, first off, why are you on a wanted poster?" said Red.

"Why don't you tell us where you learned that psychic block you do?" asked Abe.

"Just start from the beginning" Broom said.

Lavinia just grunted, "I need a beer."

I liked Broom's suggestion the best. "Okay, the beginning. You guys want the short version or the Stephen King super extended edition?"

"Whatever you want, dear." Broom said with a soft smile. Damn I wanted to hug him.

"Alright. Well, to sum it up in once sentence, I'm an ex military assassin and mercenary for hire."

Vinny burst out laughing, spewing her mouthful of coffee down her chin. "Oh you're so full of shit!"

I felt bad for killing her high, but I had to. "I'm serious, Vinny. For three years, I killed people for a living."

She was the only person still giggling. The others had mixed expressions of surprise and curiosity. Red looked the worst of them all with his bugged out yellow eyes. It took a second for Vinny to slow her laughter, only after noticing everyone else was dismal looking. "You're serious?"

I just nodded. Her jaw dropped and so did my head. The carpet looked VERY pretty. "WHAT THE FU..." Vinny was instantly on her feet and yelling but Abe stopped her and sat her down before she could finish swearing.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you! But I couldn't tell ANYONE! If you were caught they might have…" I stopped there out of habit. I still had the mentality that I shouldn't be saying a thing. I took a deep breathe and continued calmly. "I couldn't say anything to anyone. There's a policy that if I tell anyone, they're shot in the head, in short."

Vinny's eyes got all round, but she didn't say anything. Red shifted in his seat, slightly away from me. That hurt a bit. Oh well, I deserved it.

"I joined up with the military in late fall 1997. I was sick of the city, sick of the drama at the rez, so this was the one way I knew I could get away from it and get paid. I'd also been fascinated with the military since I was a kid. I loved movies like Platoon and those cheesy movies like the Professional and La Femme Nikita, and I thought the military would teach me some of that stuff. One night I just disappeared, I took a bag with me and walked out. I didn't even tell Lavinia where I was going."

Lavinia grumbled from her seat, it sounded like, "Best goddamned friend, my ass." I ignored it.

"They were good to me in boot camp. They fed me, trained me, and I learned a lot. I was the best at the covert stuff, sneaking around and 'killing' dummies. They also were pretty happy with my degree; most people that go through initial training barely have their high school diploma, let alone a university education. Sure it was for English, but it still counted. It didn't take long before some guys in suits showed up and asked me if I wanted to join up with CSIS, and holy crap, did that make me squeal. Like, was I really that good? Sure I went through training pretty quick and all the higher ups were impressed with my performance, but damn!"

"What's See Sis?" Vinny asked, leaned forward and paying close attention.

"Basically like the American CIA." Abe answered for me. I nodded.

"He's right. They're publicly rather gentle in comparison though. But unfortunately they're quite deeply involved in international affairs that they shouldn't be. The Canadian military is a lot nastier under the service than most people would think. We're not all fun-lovin' canucks anymore." God they're all going to think I'm full of shit. It all sounded right out of one of those bad political drama movies.

"So yah, to make a long story short I went with the suits, and they took me to some military base and I got trained some more. Think GI Jane shit, laying tripwires and dismantling guns was the easy part. I got into the electronic stuff, how to best kill someone with a pen, covert tactical things like that. I'm sorry if I'm making it glib and shit, but if I went into detail, most of you would puke. I had to practice on fellow soldiers a lot. They practiced on me a bit." I flipped my hair and displayed the little round scar near my jugular. "Pen-kill training. It wasn't only killing stuff; they taught me how to speak a few languages, enough to get me by at least. French, different dialects of Arabic, stuff like that. I also learned the history of pretty much every country that supposedly 'posed a threat to safety' and all about the important government people, all the people that ran those countries, and the terrorists and the rebels and the leaders."

"None of us, and there were quite a few of us, were allowed to leave the complex we were training in, I wasn't allowed to contact anyone I knew, family, friends, nobody. Hell, I didn't even get a full day off. It was full on training. I couldn't even quit if I wanted to, the shit they were teaching us and the shit that I knew about other countries and people would have gotten me killed if I was allowed to wander the streets."

"By this time it was past the millennium, and I had been in training for they about two years and learned to use everything to my advantage. Guns, Knives, rocket launchers, grenades, plastique, various other explosives, and even the simple shit like how to dismantle a nuke or how to kill someone with a punch."

"You call that simple?" Red muttered.

"It is when it's all you do, day in, day out for two years. After about a year and a half, I was sent out on missions. They were simple, apprehensions of international criminals and a lot of surveillance jobs. It was actually sort of fun! It was right out of the movies, like Nikita. But it got fucked up real fast.

"Eventually they taught us how to work independent of the organization. They needed some people out there that would volunteer to work for the government, but not directly with them. I volunteered, obviously. I wanted the freedom to choose my jobs and I didn't want to live on base anymore. I got myself a place in Germany and kept communication with the organization through encrypted emails and four-second phone calls. They'd tell me where to go and I'd go, meeting up with two or three others and going off on missions together. If anything fucked up we'd disappear. If someone was captured they'd have to be taken out instantly. If I was caught and couldn't be taken out, I'd have to find a way to take myself out. It all paid very well."

"It was around November 2000 when I was sent alone into… well, a country in the Middle East. And no, I'm not telling you which one. Anyway, my assignment was to take out some rebel leader who was startin' shit with the local government, and rumour has it they're under Canadian protection.. Apparently he was the head of a group of supposed terrorists who were credited with a lot of bombings and assassinations of important government officials. This was my first job alone, and the first time I had one specific target. By now I had a few kills under my belt, but they were all just soldiers, nobodies. This was someone important."

Broom shakily refilled my coffee cup. I grabbed his free hand real quick and gave him a pleading look Please don't hate me it's not my fault! I let him go when I realized he was still shaking. Even Abe looked a little freaked. I guess they hadn't been around many mercenaries. They're military, of course they have. They just didn't expect it from me. May as well keep talking.

"So yah, I tracked this guy's movement for about a month before I made the decision to move in. He'd been meeting with a bunch of other targets on our hit lists, but I was told to leave them alone and just focus on this one dude. So I did. I kept seeing schematics for bombs and city plans and shit, and I still couldn't do anything. I was ordered to take this dude out on one certain day.

"I waited until that day came, then I grabbed my shit and went after him. He was exactly where he was supposed to be, sitting at the dinner table with his family. I didn't even blink, I pulled the trigger. His brains splattered all over his wife and children. I walked off without another thought."

I could have put that a little nicer, but honestly, why sugarcoat it? I blew someone's head off while he was relaxing with his kids, and although I wasn't proud of it, it had to be told. It showed what sort of training they put me through, and what I, in the end, am capable of.

"But that night, I had some pretty fucking bad dreams. I kept seeing my grandmother sitting there in front of my bed, just staring at me. Not saying a fucking word just staring. I didn't know what to think, except that she was ashamed of me and what I'd become. No way was I doing what she told me to do when I was a kid. She always told me to respect people, not to hurt people, not to do anything against what I believed in. I'd betrayed her by doing the exact opposite, by killing people for money, and for totally unclear purposes. I didn't do fuck all about it though. The next morning I left town and back to Germany.

"I did this for another six months, every time having those dreams with my grandmother just sitting there staring at me. By the time 2001 rolled around I had 10 official kills under my belt, not counting the handful of soldiers and guards that I took down as collateral damage."

Trying to remember, I realized my actual kill count was more like 40, but I refused to tell that to the group. By now my voice was strong, but I couldn't look up at everyone, again staring at my bare feet and the designs in the rug. I could see the tip of Hellboy's boot thump up and down against the carpet and the couch vibrated with his nervous movements, but that was all I could see. Even Abe shut his mind off from me.

"So how'd you get out of it? I mean, you're here aren't you?" Lavinia spat. I ignored her anger again.

"Umm, well, Abe knows a bit of this stuff." I continued after downing my lukewarm coffee. Abe shifted in his seat next to Vinny, who had tears welling up again but still paying attention. I had no clue what Broom was doing, but I had the feeling he was extremely pissed. I closed my eyes and went on without even thinking about them, blocking them out and just visualizing it all in my head and letting it come out of my mouth. I let Abe know he could access my head if he wanted to, just to confirm what I was saying to the others if they had doubts.

"It was getting close to winter again, 2001. I'd pretty much made enough money to be independently wealthy and was well known in the Merc circles. I had a rep as an efficient killer and escape artist. The government was happy with my performance and had been giving me a lot of bonuses. They'd still deny any connection to me if I was ever captured, but hell, I didn't care. I was still sort of having fun.

"I got a call telling me to get my ass to Iran. They had someone they wanted taken out ASAP, and if I could take out the rest of the building and everyone in it, all the better. The bonus was well over a quarter million for doing it right, so there was no way I was going to turn this one down. I was starting to miss my family and I spent a lot of nights considering going back home again, or at least asking the military for an out. I was getting close to retirement anyways. Usually the policy was three years, and then you'd either sign up again or take a desk job or train the new kids. I was going to ask if I could just go home. Nobody knew where I was from, and if they did, they'd get lost trying to find the Rez, so it wouldn't be too much of a risk. We could see people coming from ten miles away from where my old place was." I laughed a little, and so did Vinny from across the room.

"So anyways, I got there and found myself a nice little hotel room in Tehran. I can't tell you anything specific, but it was a pretty nice place. Big rooms, great view of the area, a couple decent escape routes if things got all fuckered. I didn't have to move in on this guy for another couple of days, so I spend the time wandering around the city taking in the sights and going over the preparations in my head.

"What I didn't know is that there were a few more people joining me in this mission. Apparently a one-person team wasn't enough to take the place out. So two guys and another woman joined me, plus one guy I came up with at CSIS training we nicknamed Snake. He had been a good buddy while I was in there getting the snot kicked out of me by the more experienced officers. He stood up for me a lot. It was sort of like a high school reunion, me and Snake spent a good four hours catching up on what we could without violating procedure. At first I didn't trust the others but I talked to my sources and they confirmed these dudes were okay. So yah, we went over the plans together, I altered it a bit for them. Apparently I was the leader of the group. These guys had been on the field for a few months but to the government they were all still green, except of course Snake. I had to take care of a team, and it made me a little nervous. Snake backed me up though; he knew what he was doing so explaining shit was a lot easier. He was a good guy."

I sighed, stopping for a moment to collect myself. "The day finally came, our operation was green lit by a single phone call and everyone knew what their jobs were. We drove out to the desert, about three miles away from the base we were to attack. It was morning and not that hot yet, so we made good time. By the time we reached the area, we had found 14 well-hidden landmines and almost tripped an alarm. I gave my guys shit for almost giving us away. The entire atmosphere was bad. I should have aborted.

"I remember the sounds. I don't even know what happened, one minute we were alone and in our positions, the next there was gunfire and smoke and a whole lot of screaming. I took a bullet to the shoulder and hit the ground in time to miss another mine-explosion. I saw the other girl, Sam I think was her name; take the explosion full in the face.

"I started shooting at the shadows; the dust was so thick I couldn't see much at all. I took another bullet to the leg, but it missed the artery so I was all right. I hit the ground again but I took out the fucker who had shot me. It was total chaos and only lasted a minute or two. Snake dragged me out of the line of fire and behind an oil drum, which wasn't the smartest idea but it got me away from the bullets. I was coughing pretty hard; black shit came out of my lungs. I couldn't help but think of those miners who get black lung.

"Snake ran out to see if he could find the others and was immediately taken down by a sniper bullet. I stayed behind the drum and I watched as he fell. He was still alive. I dragged myself to my feet and went out there to get him out of there, dodging bullets left and right, taking a few of those fuckers out with me. I saw one of my guy's corpse not too far away and the other guy shooting like mad at a jeep that was on its way up. In all there were about 13 bodies lying around, 3 of mine and ten of theirs.

"I got to Snake at the same time the jeep showed up, and out poured another ten guys with M240's and enough Uzi's to sink a ship. I knew there wasn't any hope of getting out of there in one piece. I was bleeding pretty bad and totally exhausted. I fell to my knees and dropped my rifle, but I kept my hand close to the little Walther P5 I kept holstered to my hip. The enemy surrounded me and Snake and quickly took out my last guy with a bullet to the head. They were yelling and pointing their guns at me, and even though I knew a little Farsi, my head was so fucked up I couldn't understand a word they said. I knew they meant to take me prisoner but it just didn't penetrate. I just watched Snake eventually bleed out, twitch and die…

"I think they got impatient cause one of them rushed forward to grab me, so I pulled my gun and put it to my head. I knew they couldn't take me alive, I knew I had to pull the trigger. I don't know how, it was probably the sniper that took out Snake, but suddenly there was a bang and the gun flew out of my hand and I was crushed suddenly under five huge dudes."

I took a breather here. I couldn't think of anything more to say. Wait, that's a lie, I could think of a lot more to say, but I didn't know what was relevant. One side of me told me that if I was going to come clean, it should be complete; I should tell everything down to the very last detail. The other half of me told me to say only what was relevant, and what happened next wasn't all that relevant. I was lost.

"Abe?" He was the only one I could think of to take a look first, or give me advice. Out of everyone he knew the situation the best, already having a glimpse of what happened. I felt him dig around in my mind for a moment.

"Go ahead. It's relevant." He said with a shudder.

TBC… in part 2.