Two Extra Eyes
Chapter Three
Chaos at Dinner
If there was anything Lars hated above everything else in the world, it was these three things.
First, having to wear his good clothes. They always chafed, making him itchy to the breaking point! Not to mention his tie always choked him. And his shoes were so tight, it felt like the bones in his feet would shatter if he moved even the slightest. He couldn't even wear his hat! Sandy had insisted that it was so old and dirty, it'd be an embarrassment to let him wear it. Lars grumbled and inwardly commented on her and his father's choice of dress. To him, their clothes were old enough to have been worn by cavemen. They belonged in a museum for crying out loud!
Second, hearing his parents, brother, and rival/annoyance sweet talk, get all lovey-dovey, and worst of all, kiss whenever they had the chance! Oooooohhhhh he hated that! On the ride over to the restaurant, his mother and father were practically all over each other (amazingly without Raoul losing control of the car). They would call each other these pet names that Lars was sure came out of some lame play or something. Raoul called his wife "his little lark" and "his little songbird," as well as other degrading things. Sandy always had something to counter him, calling him a variety of equally disturbing and old school names. It took everything Lars had not to jump out the car.
'How could they live with themselves?' He wondered with disgust.
Then there were Otto and Twister, who were sitting in the back (sadly along with the bully). Like Lars, they were wearing pressed dress shirts, pants, and ties. Twister's hair was slicked back with hair gel. He also wasn't wearing his hat. Otto… Lars gave him a strange look. He never thought he'd live to see the day his rival was actually proper. He wasn't even wearing his trademark sunglasses (No doubt per Sandy's request. 'Uncle Manuel…' The older boy thought with a snarl) or his headband! His fiery dreadlocks fell down the sides of his head. The brunet scratched his head. Considering how much the boy's hair had to have grown over the years, it was amazing that the tiny piece of fabric was still able to hold it all up…
He shrugged.
Anyway, they constantly whispered to each other and all too often made out (quite loudly I might add). Ten out of eleven times, Sandy had to look over the back of her seat and tell the giggling couple to break it up. They only giggled more as they complied with her request. Not even a minute would pass before their tongues were down each other's throats again, causing Lars to come dangerously close to tossing his cookies. In case you're wondering, the eleventh time, Raoul looked over the back of his seat (when they were at a stoplight, of course) and threatened that if they didn't stop, he would make them sit at both ends of the car, and have Lars sit in between them!
Thankfully for the brunet, this never came to pass. The two redheads calmed down as the car went on its way again. Lars sighed with relief at this knowledge. If he thought they were bad when they were right next to each other, imagine them having to sit across from each other! It would've been a nightmare for the older sibling. Although he hasn't been in the car with the couple much ('Thank God!' He thought happily), he was pretty sure that they would've tried some very, very stupid things to communicate with each other should they ever be separated.
For example, they would text message each other using their cell phones and giggle. And if that wasn't bad enough, he would've had to contend with their annoying ring tones. There's no way he could've stood listening to a beeping rendition of "Get Dancing" (Twister's ring tone) every five seconds! Then there would've been the sign language. Clearly, that would've been much worse. Otto and Twister, on either side of Lars, doing weird gestures that had no specific meaning to the brunet but obviously was too goofy and lovey-dovey for words. The two boys would chuckle and laugh at each other. Finally, there was the sound of them blowing kisses to each other. The brunet shuddered. If that happened, he would've been liable to disobey his mother's order to not tease them by punching Otto's face in…and maybe Twister's too. Why? Because he can.
But again, that never happened. Instead, the redheads resorted to holding each other's hands (and occasionally going down there with their free hands…) and laughing at their (in Lars' opinion) stupid jokes. He held his ears as he banged his head softly against the window.
'Please let us get to this place already!' He moaned as they continued onward.
And this leads us to the third and final thing Lars hates above all else. Being stuck in some restaurant listening to his parents, brother, and rival/annoyance going at it without having anyone to talk to! This horrifying experience would've been a little more bearable if he just had someone to converse with or at the very least share his pain. Unfortunately, none of his henchmen would ever agree to suffer through this torment in a million years! And he couldn't blame them. Who in their right mind would go through this with him!.? Nobody, not even his boyfriend (if he had one that is…) would want to sit here in Red Lobster watching two kooks and his parents acting out some weird, whacked out fantasy! It was as if they were all drunk or something!
Lars sighed as he propped his head on a hand and watched Raoul and Sandy cling to each other while feeding each other the complimentary biscuits that were on the table. It wasn't so bad. At least they were in a decent place instead of some fancy French restaurant. He didn't have to worry about manners.
Speaking of which…
"Lars! Get your elbow off the table!" Sandy scolded.
"Yes, ma'am…" He complied with a growl as he looked to his right. He cringed and cursed inwardly when he saw Otto and Twister tipping each other's water glass into the other's mouth. He glowered as he stared at his own water glass.
'I wonder if that's enough to drown me…' He contemplated.
Anyway, there was also the knowledge that Twister absolutely hated fish. That little tidbit of info made Lars smirk and chuckle mischievously. He seriously considered ordering the grossest fish on the menu and waving it in front of his brother just to freak him out. He idly wondered how fast his mother would jump on him for doing so. Considering her current emotional state, he probably would've gotten a generous amount of time for a change before she nagged at him. Also, he had the fact that they were in a public place on his side. He snickered and decided to make a mental note for when the menu came.
Speaking of menus, it was taking forever for theirs to come. He was hungry already! That was when he noticed the only biscuit remaining on the table. That tasty roll stuffed full of herbs and spices that he didn't care about. All that he knew was that it's delicious! The biscuits are practically the reason they came here! Drooling slightly, he reached out and grabbed the biscuit, which strangely was kind of reddish like cinnamon. Also, it was kinda warm and smooth…
"Huh?" He heard Otto gasp. "Hey! Whaddya think you're doing Lars?.!"
"Shaddap!" The brunet growled, pulling the biscuit towards his mouth. "I'm starving and the last roll's mine!"
"But that's not—"
"I said shaddap!" Lars licked his lips as he opened wide. "It's chow time!"
The others looked and gasped when they saw what was happening. They all protested against the brunet's actions, but Lars, not knowing what they were getting so worked up about, shrugged and closed the distance between his teeth and the delectable bread.
°CHOMP!.!.!°
"YEOWCH!.!.!" Otto yelped, pulling back his hand. It had teeth marks near his knuckles that went pretty deep, but not so deep that the skin was penetrated. He blew on it as Twister got some ice wrapped in a napkin. The shorter redhead hissed when he felt the cold sting. Everybody glared at Lars who in turn was glowering at his rival.
"Hey, what're ya doing taking my biscuit, Rocket Dork!.?" He demanded.
"Biscuit!.? That was my hand, ya lame-o!.!.!" Otto shouted. The brunet blinked in confusion.
"Your hand?" He asked. The redhead nodded. Lars held his chin. Come to think of it, that biscuit did taste kind of odd…
His eyes widened.
"If that was your hand, then…" That was when he realized where that's been. "AW SICK!.!.!" He grabbed his napkin and wiped his tongue as clean as he possibly could. Meanwhile, Sandy and Raoul looked at him strangely before rounding on Otto and Twister, who were chuckling nervously, their faces red in embarrassment.
Thankfully, the waiter arrived, interrupting this situation before it could get anymore out of hand. Everybody was given their menu. As soon Lars looked at it, his eyes began to itch. He rubbed his hand against them in an effort to quell the irritation, but they continued to itch.
'Ugh… What the…?' He grumbled, trying to get his eyes to chill. They continued to nag at him relentlessly.
"I'll have the lobster steak." Raoul told the waiter.
"I think I'll have the flounder." Sandy said.
'What's going on, here!.?' Lars yelled inwardly.
Not only were his eyes still bothering him, but now he found it difficult to read his menu. The letters and pictures looked blurry and splotchy. He started to panic as he tried to bring things back into focus.
"Blech!" Twister cringed at his mother's order. "I'll just have a steak and applesauce."
"How would you like your steak?" The waiter asked, writing down the order.
"Well done, I guess…"
"And I'll have the shrimp fettuccini." Otto said.
"Yuck!"
"Chill out, Twist!"
Raising an eyebrow at the two, the waiter finally turned to Lars. "And you? What will you have sir?"
The brunet paled. It was his turn to order and he was still unable to see the choices! He trembled in fear as everything his mother said to him came back in full force. Sitting too close to the TV, reading in dim light, watching TV in the dark… Those were the main things that Uncle Manuel did before he was inflicted with blindness. And it wasn't only those three instances. This has been going on for months! But this can't be happening to him. Uncle Manuel was doing all that and more for years before he finally lost his sight. Lars can't be going blind, he just can't! But he can't see! Everything was blurry to him! He took in a couple deep breaths and tried to calm down.
'Come on, you can do this…' He encouraged himself. 'You just gotta make the order and get through the rest of the night…' He cleared his throat and prepared to start the charade.
"Ummm… I'll have a…"
He stumbled over his words, trying to remember something he's ordered on past visits to the restaurant. Anything would do! But alas, in the confusion and overall worry regarding the condition of his eyes, he couldn't think of anything. Finally sighing, he decided to order the same thing one of the others picked.
"I'll have the flounder…" He said, sighing again as he handed the menu to the waiter, who left mumbling something.
"Took ya long enough!" Otto taunted. It seemed he was still angry at his future brother-in-law for the hand incident. Lars growled and shot his head up, ready to counter the boy, when he stopped dead in his tracks.
Everything and everybody was completely blurred! He couldn't tell where everyone was sitting at. It was like looking at a painting that melted. All the colors blended into one another, throwing the poor brunet into a completely new world. One where he was unable to perceive objects. One without any set direction. One where all the paths and roads led into one another before shooting off in random directions. He couldn't remember where everybody was sitting so he faced a random direction, which happened to be his left, and shouted.
"Shut your trap, ya little brat!"
A shocked gasp was heard immediately after. A shocked female gasp.
"Lars!" Sandy scolded. "Watch who you're talking to!"
'Easier said than done…' The teen thought. He turned to his right this time.
"Uhhh… Sorry mom?"
"Why are ya saying sorry to me?" Twister asked confusedly. He pointed across from him. "Mom's over there!"
Lars slapped himself mentally and glowered, facing southeast, which was away from the table completely.
"Shaddap, ya little shrimp!"
"Uhhh… Why yes, they're shrimp…" A waitress said, passing by with a tray full of shrimp cocktails, eyebrow raised.
"Lars, are you feeling alright?" Sandy asked, full of concern.
"Yeah, you seem a little odd this evening." Raoul added.
Gulping, Lars faced the table (or at least he hoped it was the table) and nodded.
"Of course I'm fine." He answered. "I'm just feeling a little overworked. School ya know?"
He shrugged, inwardly praying his parents bought it. Unfortunately, they were doubly worried. It could've been the cheesy grin he gave. It may have been the fact that school's been out for a couple of weeks. It might've even been his red and tired-looking eyes. But the definite reason had to have been the fact that he was looking at Otto and Twister! Sandy and Raoul looked at each other and smirked mischievously.
"Ok Lars." Sandy said, turning to him with a grin. "I'll overlook this if you give me a kiss on the cheek."
"WHA?.?.?" The two redheads gaped at her. The woman's glare shut them up instantly. Having no clue what was going on, Lars huffed in irritation. He hated to show his love for his mother (or anybody else for that matter) in public. It was embarrassing. He crossed his arms.
"Ok…" He hissed uncomfortably. He closed his eyes and puckered his lips as he bent towards where he thought his mother was. His lips soon came into contact with skin. After pulling away, Lars scratched his head. His mother's cheek sure felt rough…
"GROSS!.!.!" Otto exclaimed, rubbing his cheek as Sandy and Raoul were beside themselves with laughter. "What the hell's your deal, Lars!.?.! Are ya blind or something!.?"
"What's your problem, Rocket Dork!.?" Lars barked, facing Raoul, who glared at him. "You never saw a guy kiss his mother before!.?"
"No… But the thing is YOU KISSED OTTO!.!.!" Twister roared, answering for his boyfriend. Rage was clearly written all over his face. Lars blinked and snapped his head away from the table again.
"You mean to tell me I kissed…" His eyes widened. "AW COME ON!.!.!" He instantly grabbed his napkin and applied it to his lips in an attempt to get the feeling of his rival's skin off of him.
"That does it, Lars!" Sandy shouted, getting over the effects of her prank. "I knew doing all that stuff to your eyes would get you in the end! You're going to the eye doctor first thing tomorrow morning!"
"The EYE DOCTOR!.?.!" Lars exclaimed, facing Otto again. "Come on, Mom! My eyes are fine!"
"For the last time…" Otto seethed, grabbing the brunet's head. "I AIN'T YOUR MOM!.!.!" He made the older boy face Sandy.
"Get offa me, dorko!" The brunet protested, slapping the other's hand away. "Why'd ya make me look at my dad for!.?"
"I'm over here, Lars!" Raoul told him, trying to get his attention. He was on Sandy's left. Lars growled in irritation.
"Man whatever! I'm going to the bathroom." He grumbled as he stood and walked away.
Big mistake.
To make a long story short, by the end of the night, they owed the restaurant over five hundred dollars in broken dishes and Lars was covered in enough fish, shrimp, clams, oysters, crabs, and lobsters to fill the Pacific Ocean.
Later, at the Rodriguez residence…
"Ugh… What a night…" Otto moaned, slumping into the house, followed by Raoul and Twister.
"That was the worst anniversary dinner ever…" The former commented.
"You said it…" Twister groaned, joining his lover on the couch. "…And it was our first too!.!.!"
Sobbing, he clung to a somewhat freaked out Otto as the sounds of fighting and cats' meowing were heard.
"I told you doing all of those things would cause you to lose your eyesight, didn't I!.?.!" Sandy shouted, swinging at them with her purse. "Get back!.!.!"
"Get the hell away from me!.!.! I ain't your dinner!.!.!" Lars roared at the felines before turning to his "mother" (the nearby shrubs). "How was I supposed to know that doing that stuff really ruins your eyes!.?.! I'm not supposed to care about that sorta thing!"
"I said back!.!.!" She actually knocked one away that time. "I TOLD you a thousand times! It's because—"
"Uncle Manuel did the same things! I know, I know!" The boy countered, punching away a cat that nibbled on his leg. "That's a load of bull! He must've got blind because of the chemicals he keeps around his house!"
They finally got inside and slammed the door shut. Fevered scratching and hungry meows could be heard against it.
"Hey! I knew your uncle for twenty years before I married your father!" Sandy yelled at Lars. "He didn't become blind because of chemicals! He always sat too close to the TV, watched it in the dark, read in dim light, and tons of other things! So I know doing all that could make you lose your eyesight! But did you listen to me? Noooooo!.!.!"
"Like I care! I'm not going to the eye doctor and that's that!" The teen stomped his foot, facing the coat rack. Rolling her eyes, Sandy put her hands on her hips.
"Lars, I'm your mother and you live under my roof! And until you turn eighteen and leave this house, you will abide by my rules!"
Lars growled and made to retort when Otto stood and got in between them.
"Woah! Wait a minute!" He shouted. "I know how you guys could settle this!"
"How?" Both mother and son asked, rounding on him. Or at least Sandy did. Lars faced the cactus at the corner of the room.
Otto smirked as he walked back to the sofa and grabbed Twister's hand. The taller redhead blinked as the shorter one guided him next to a life-sized mirror. Twister gave his boyfriend a strange look as he moved away and shoved Lars towards him. The brunet was soon standing in the middle of the two. The mirror was on his right and Twister was on his left. Otto snickered as he prepared himself.
"Ok, here's what you're gonna do." He started. He then pointed at his lover. "Punch Twist."
"BUH!.?.!" All four members of the family exclaimed confusedly.
"Have you gone crazy, Otto!.?.!" Twister demanded.
"Yeah!" Lars agreed. "You'd knock out anybody for even looking at him wrong! Whaddya doing setting him up to get whomped!.?"
Sandy and Raoul voiced similar concerns for the auburn haired boy's sanity, but Otto silenced them (except for Lars apparently) with a dismissive wave.
"Chill out, you guys. I know what I'm doing." He turned to Lars. "Like I said, I want you to punch out Twist. He's either on the left or right. If ya choose correctly, you don't have to go to the eye doctor tomorrow. But if you pick wrong…"
Otto winked at Twister, Sandy, and Raoul. Their eyes brightened when they understood what he was getting at. Preparing for the worst, the only woman in the group went to the bathroom, presumably to fetch some bandages, gauze, and iodine. Lars gulped at the proposition. If he got it wrong, he'd have to go to the doctor tomorrow! But he couldn't back down. They'd still take him if he weaseled out of it. He looked at his two choices. The blob on his left couldn't have been his brother. It looked way too dark to be him. But the one on the right… He smirked evilly in an attempt to regain his status as a bully to his rival and brother and nodded.
"Ok, it's a deal, Rocket Dork!" He then added, facing the mirror as he cracked his knuckles, "I'm gonna enjoy this. Now say cheese, twerp!"
Otto gave a wide, toothy grin as Lars charged towards the reflective glass with his fist reared back. When he was only inches away, he went for the punch…
°CRASH!.!.!°
Up until this very moment, Ocean Shores had never heard a louder scream than the one Otto made when he discovered that the wedding between his father and Noelani was on the same day as Zero Gravity Zone's opening day. That little warble was only enough for everyone in town to hear. The screech Lars made as the glass cut into his hand was loud enough to make every car alarm in town go off and every dog bark. Thankfully, none of his nerves were pierced. He broke his newly acquired record multiple times that evening when Sandy took out the shards and applied the iodine. That last yowl of pain caused by the stinging liquid was loud enough to cause every window in the cul-de-sac to shatter into a million pieces. The brunet, mumbling a vast assortment of curses at his brother's boyfriend, went to sleep that night with his right hand bandaged a dozen times over until even his fingers were covered.