In a perfect
world,
This would not be happening
In a perfect world,
You'd
still be here
No it makes no sense,
If I could just pick up the
pieces
But to you
This means nothing,
Nothing at all
"If I do nothing but
be with you for the rest of my life, I'll be happy" PJ told Jo
when they were driving back to the station for him to go to work.
He
was watching Jo with every muscle in his body, not just his eyes. He
was watching her with all of his being, all of his life, knowing that
even though he hadn't made it down the aisle to Maggie, he would
with Jo, and he would be forever happy.
"I don't know what I
would do without you" Jo told PJ. "I wouldn't be the same
person" br "Neither. I hope you don't mind me saying
this, but you are the one who saved me. If you hadn't come along, I
would never have gotten over Maggie, and now, thanks to you, I have
moved on. I do think about her, of course I do, but only as a memory.
She's not the one I'm marrying" PJ replied hesitantly, for he
didn't know how Jo would react to this.
Jo smiled at him and
gave him a knowing look.
She knew what he had been thinking these
last few days, and how torn he had been between her and Maggie, but
she also knew that Maggie was PJ's past, and she was his future.
PJ
smiled and looked at Jo so intently, so full of love, so full of
everything he had, he was giving it to her. He was looking so hard at
Jo that he did not realise that a truck was coming up, over the hill
on the other side of the road.
He also did not realise that he
seemed to be veering over to the other side of the road, the wrong
side of the road.
Normally his driving wouldn't have been so
poor, considering he was a police officer and saw first hand the
effects of poor concentration and not watching the road, but he felt
like it would never happen to him. He didn't see it coming.
But
Jo did.
"PJ" she yelled, as he got closer and closer to the
truck.
"Watch what you're doing!" she screamed at him.
At
the last second he snapped out of his trance and looked straight at
the oncoming truck, realising a millisecond too late that he was in
the path of a massive object, coming straight his way.
I open my eyes, I try
to see
But I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember
how, I can't remember why,
I'm lying here tonight
And I
can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't
stand the pain.
He swerved the car out of the way of the
truck, but it was too late, and he yelled and looked straight at Jo.
He covered Jo with his arms as though he was trying to protect her
from the truck, even though he knew it wouldn't save him, and
probably wouldn't save her.
Jo stared at him, and realised how
much love he actually had, all for her. It filled up his entire body,
not just his heart, plus the room he was in, and even seeped out into
the universe, so that eventually it would be full of his love for
her.
He loved her so much that he would have killed himself just
to let her live.
The truck stopped fully, a joint effort of both
the driver slamming on the brakes and the car ramming into it. The
noise of the collision made Jo completely deaf to everything around
her, and she only had eyes for one thing.
PJ was lying on the
seat next to her, completely covered in blood, and not moving
anything but his eyes, which were looking straight at Jo, moving from
one eye to another. Just looking at Jo seemed to take up all his
energy, as though it was coming out through his eyes when he stared
into hers.
It reminded her of her early days in Mount Thomas,
when a bus overturned on the highway and Jack's friend Molly was in
there, dieing. It seemed so similar, but it was still so different.
PJ and Jo actually were getting married, and they really did love one
another, in equal amounts.
Jo had only minor cuts on her forehead
and arms and legs, nothing like what PJ had. More blood was pouring
out of him by the second, and Jo realised that he probably wouldn't
live for much longer.
She smiled and thought of PJ just before the
truck had come over the hill. Then she knew that he would never be
like that again. Tears fell down her face and fell into her nose and
mouth, and down off her chin onto her shirt, being absorbed in her
jacket.
Jo leaned over and embraced him, breathing in his smell, a
mix of the dodgy aftershave he used and leather of the car and his
jacket and of his own home. She loved that smell, and she always
would.
Blood poured out all over her and her shirt, but she didn't
care. All she cared about was PJ.
