I just wade the tides that turned
Till I learn to leave the past behind
It's only lies that I'm living
It's only tears that I'm crying
It's only you that I'm losing
Guess I'm doing fine

Jo was, once again, walking around Mount Thomas in a stupor. But this time it wasn't aimlessly. She was walking around to all of her friends places, telling them of the time and date and place of PJ's funeral. Some of them reacted with shock, others just didn't know what to say. Some invited Jo in for coffee, but she accepted no one's invitation. All she wanted was for this nightmare to be over. She wanted to turn back the time, so she didn't have to prolong the agony of telling people what happened.

Susie had offered to come along, as "moral suport", (or so she said), as did Tom, Evan and Amy. But she accepted no one's offer, once again.

Walking along the streets of Mount Thomas, she felt like a lone soldier in a movie…doomed to be walking the streets alone forever more…

Of course, it was just a tiny bit of a cliché, but she didn't care, because that is actually what it felt like.
So many people reacted badly. Not like Jo expected them to, but they just reacted…badly. Some blamed Jo, which really hurt, and some said that they should have gotten married earlier. How dare they say that anyway? People said that it was all Jo's fault, that he didn't deserve it. Jo just said that she was sorry, and walked away.

Normally she would stand and fight, defend herself, but she didn't have the heart. She couldn't be bothered, just left people to their own grief and misery, suffering their own sense of loss, and walked away.

She turned her back on the people who said it was her fault, and she walked away from those grieving. She didn't want to know about any of it.

She didn't want to be there anymore. Jo needed to get away.

You were always there
Even though it seems your far away
I miss you more than words
I'm missin' you more every day
Where are you in my life?
Where's the song in my heart?
Where's the piece of my mind?
And strength for me to carry on

After Jo had gotten home from the hospital, after finding out she was pregnant she withdrew from the world.

The days went by, they flew by, without Jo even noticing them leaving. The sun rose and fell, the clouds moved across the ever increasingly dark sky, and the weather grew colder and colder.

Jo lay in bed, not moving, not eating and hardly taking notice of any of the days going past.

Tom came and visited her at her and PJ's house. He didn't know what to do, and he tried telling her that no mater what she did PJ would never leave her, but she couldn't be convinced. She showed no visible signs of life, and she thought that she had no reason to stay alive anyway.

The next day Susie came again, and although she tried to talk to Jo she got no decent response, just a few undignified grunts.

"Jo, what are you doing? You have got to get out and face the world one day. You can't live like this"

Susie was basically handling the funeral arrangements by herself, but she was always checking with Jo to see what she wanted.

So far the funeral was going to be on next Saturday, in Mount Thomas park. Everyone was invited, from the police station, from the town and from his past. Even Falcon Price and Monica Draper were coming. She had a celebrant hired, and Tom was going to do a speech as well as Chris. Jo was asked if she wanted to do one, but by giving no response Susie assumed that was a no.

Jo was burning up inside to do a speech, to say something at the funeral, she just didn't know what she could say, and couldn't get the energy to talk to Susie. She didn't want to talk to anyone, she was too ashamed.

Ashamed for some unknown reason. It's not like it was her fault, and PJ wouldn't have wanted her to live the rest of her life as a hermit just because of him.

Susie sat on her bed for a few more minutes then got up and left.

As soon as she left Jo jumped out of her bed, got some clothes on, even if they were dirty and went for a walk. She didn't know where she was going, or where she would end up, and she didn't care. She had some things to sort out.