AN: Sorry, me dear random fans, that I haven't updated.. We ALL know what happens when school starts! DUN DUN DUN DUUNN.. the computer life gets SUCKED out of us! NOOOO!

Well, many thanks to my fwiendies, Lynne, Ad, and Sam, who helped me write this, and to all the reviewers! WEEE!

Hope you hate it!

Chapter 3: Social Workers.

The door SLAMMED open, and Sauron looked up from reading his 'Better Homes and Gardens (with a slip-cover over it that read, "HOW TO BECOME AN EVIL DICTATOR IN LESS THAN 20 MINUTES.')'

"Woah.. what happened to YOU?" Sauron asked,

What happened, indeed.

Morgoth's clothes were all torn up, and some hairs on his sexy head were on fire, and he was covered in soot.

"Must… destroy.. clinic… too many… protection wargs.. tried to burn down clinic… didn't work… too many … WARGS." Morgoth muttered, his eye twitching wildly.

"Why don't you… go lie down for a while…"Sauron said, trying not to snicker, "Oh… and extinguish your head," Snicker… snicker…

"WHHAATTT WAAASSS THHAATTT? DO I HEAR SNICKERING? GAAAAHHHH" Morgoth then proceeded to throw MORE things at Sauron.

"THAT'S IT." Sauron yelled, "I'm THROUGH with being ABUSED. I'm calling a SOCIAL WORKER!"

Morgoth stared at Sauron blankly, "Yeah, ALL that I've taught you… and you call a social worker… GRREEEAAATTTT."

DUN DUN DUN DUUUNNNN

"WELL I'M GOING TO." Sauron ran to the palantir and dialed the social worker's number.

"Hi… I'm Sauron. I'm being abused. Could you stop by and give my… erm… my abuser a good talking to? Weally? Thanks…" He… hung up (?) and stomped off with a satisfied grin.

A FEW MINUTES LATER… WOOOOOOO.

The doorbell rang. "OH I WONDER WHO THAT IS?" Sauron yelled, running over to the door and yanking it open.

"Hello. I am Chad. I am a social worker. Would you like a complementary wooden duck?"

Sauron just stared…. "SSAAAAAYYYYY… weren't you that dude that Mira ran off with, but then you ditched her for a wooden duck?"

"Sorta.. I don't wanna talk about it. Sniff sniff." Chad sniffed. Sniff.

Mira was walking down the stairs (bored… as usual) when she saw… HIM. "Oh.. it's Chad, that duck-loving freak… What is HE doing here?" She mumbled, running back upstairs and shutting the door.

"So what seems to be the problem here?" Chad stuck his head in the house, "UG. It's FILTHY. What kind of environment are you living in, here?"

"Evil one." Sauron shrugged, trying to act as abused as possible.

"So what has your abuser been doing to you,…. Sweety?" Chad said, trying to sound caring. He wasn't.

"SNifffffff… Well… he throws things at me… a lot… and he… he… calls me DUMB. And he calls me mean names and makes me help him PLOT. Actually.. I like that part… but STILL." Sauron scuffled his feet and pretended to cry.

"YOU PANSY!" A voice boomed, and (guess who!) stepped out from the shadows.

"YOOOUUU!" Chad screeched, "You're on your own, kid." He muttered to Sauron.

"NOT SO FAST!" He took Chad and promptly threw him out the window.

"NOW STOP BEING A PANSY, SAURON." Morgoth boomed, and threw a potted hibiscus at Sauron.

Sauron ducked, "SHEESH, I was trying to GET RID OF YOU. GOOOOSSSHHH."

"You WERE? I like that in you… traitorous.. like ME! That's so perfect.. maybe you ARE showing some promise after all….."

This blissful (but evil) moment was interrupted by Irone's SCREAM.

"SCCCRREEEAAAMM!" Irone screamed, "MY POTTED HIBISCUS! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Irone sobbed, "What happened to GEORGE! He was my FWIENDIE."

Sauron and Morgoth stared, and Morgoth narrowed his eyes, "WHO CARES! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT."

Sauron really didn't care about anything at the moment, so he just stared off into space.

AN: Review, dahlings, and ye shall get another chapter! huggles all