Feel happy, I'm making a chapter two of this crap. I figure, since I'm so damn honored to have so many reviews ;; :Hands cookies out to reviewers and looker-overs: Chapter two, time to shove a few amusing things through a mirror…no, not Piangi….yet.

On with the show!

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There was a clumsy bump that seemed to echo throughout the Opera Populaire.

"Damn it" a low voice grumbled. An 'oof!' was soon elicited as the Phantom stumbled over something clumsily. "Stupid place…now where is spherical obese elephant man?"

He looked around in the dark, his light eyes narrowing to adjust.

"Angel?" a small voice asked from the black. Groaning, the Phantom rolled his eyes and forced a fake smile to his lips.

"Yes, my dear?" he forced, looking straight at her.

"Why are you here this late?" her tiny voice inquired in the black.

"No reason at all, Christine, simply to check up on you" he lied smoothly. She held the old cat tighter to her chest protectively.

"I have to sing tomorrow" Christine whispered quietly. The 'Opera Ghost' rolled his eyes.

'She's so whiny….' He thought exhaustedly 'were she larger, I could find her amusing and shove her into my lair. But where is the fat man?'

He made his way through the dark (hitting his head on several items along the way) and stumbled about the Opera House. Even if he had been seen, no one would dare threaten the Phantom of the Opera.

"Oversized ogre!" he hissed into the dark irritably.

No response came. Only pure, total silence.

"Damnable! Where is he…I haven't much time left!" he growled, looking around.

In four hours, the opera house would awaken to ready for their production of 'Hannibal' and his mirror would be unreachable. He had to get all that junk down there so he could seduce the girl!

'I've only got about four hours left…I need that swan bed and that organ….and the fat man, but that's just for fun. Remember, business before pleasure, Erik, remember that. Now where the hell do they keep that bed…' he thought in frustration. He kept on and smacked into something else, only, this something spoke.

"Ooh!" a tiny voice exclaimed. He looked down to see Meg Giry, squinting into the darkness in a feeble attempt to see.

"Mama? Long lost, non existent papa?" she asked, peering around.

He heaved a great sigh and spoke in a soft, hypnotic voice.

"You will forget I was ever here, you will tell me where I can find the organ and the swan bed, as well. You will also find me the fat man so as I may put him downstairs" he said pointedly, voice smooth in tone.

"Yes, Opera Ghost" she said plainly, voice droned and blank. A smirk crawled to his face and twitched upon his lips.

"Bravissima"

She led him backstage and pointed to the grand bed, eyes glassy and blank as she did so.

"Perfect, thank you, small blonde ballerina" he grinned and snapped his fingers. No sound emanated as he realized his gloves negated the sound.

With a scowl, he removed the glove and snapped his fingers.

"I need a nap" the little Giry said, slumped against the wall and slid down it. She fell to snoring loudly and dreaming of God only knew what.

"Perfection" he grinned, stepping forth. The bed was wide in width but not so tall in height. Though, this made him very happy, this could be a challenge. "Happy happy happy, going to shove this bed through the mirror. Fun fun fun"

First, he slid the black glove back upon his hand (because he felt incomplete without it).

He grabbed the 'creature' by its' head and began to pull. It budged about an inch within a span of two minutes.

"PIECE OF CRAP!" he yowled, kicking it with his boot-clad foot. "OWW!" he yelled, bringing his foot to his hand and hopping up and down.

Little Meg kept on snoring (much to the pain of his ears).

"Come on, wretch, I need you!" he began to talk to the bed, praying that moral support would force the thing to move.

Another minute, another inch.

His teeth clenched and ground together as he pulled harder and harder.

"Come on!"

An hour later…..

Drenched in his own sweat and mask practically sliding from his face from the perspiration, he had managed to shove the mass piece of furniture into the little Daae's dressing room.

"Phew" he stopped, ran his arm across the uncovered part of his forehead and found his eyes stung from the beads of sweat that lingered on the covered side of his face.

So, being uncomfortable, he closed his fingers over the edge of the mask and began to pull.

It wouldn't dislodge.

He pulled harder.

The scrap of material that hid his awful face just would not move. It was stuck to his face.

"I knew this would happen one day…." He muttered irritably, pulling harder He put all his might into yanking the mask off and he gritted his teeth harder, waiting for his lower jaw to shatter. "Why does everything always go wrong?"

The mask eventually ripped off his face with the sound of a suction cup being removed from a window. Startled, he it dropped and it fell into a million small, porcelain shards.

He blankly stared down at the mask, teeth clenching but in rage this time. His eyes clouded with tears for how much anger was coursing through him right now.

So he let out the anger. He turned his face to the ceiling and let out an incredibly loud, incredibly harsh scream.

The entire opera house jolted up from their beds.

He raced at the swan bed, shoulder first, and slammed into it with his entire body. The pressure of so much weight forced the bed to scoot forward and, with a slight shattering of some of the glass, through the mirror.

Once more, he looked to the ceiling and let out a loud yell.

"OLD BAG!" he exclaimed madly, light green eyes glimmering with pure fury.

Madame Giry timidly walked in, followed by every other resident of the opera house right behind her (almost conga-esque)

"Y-Yes, Erik?" she stammered.

In the dark, his deformity was not visible. The small amount of candlelight that flickered around only illuminated the handsome side of his face (as he was quite careful to only let them see so much).

"Fetch me another mask, idiot, one of you! I have more work to do. Go now, and stop trying to see!" self consciously, he clapped his hand against the twisted side of his features.

Someone scurried off and returned with a large, black eye patch. The being threw it at the Phantom and quickly ran to the back of the line.

He took the patch (it, oddly enough, covered most of his warped side) and smirked at them all.

Piangi could not hide his mass size as he attempted to hide behind Madame Giry, whimpering like a fat puppy at the sight of the Phantom. Eyes suddenly alight; the masked man smirked widely at Piangi.

"Your turn will come very soon" he smirked; single, visible eye dancing with massive amounts of amusement and power-madness.

"Better, better" he grinned widely, running a hand through his black hair impatiently "well, come on, I have to get the organ down there. Show me to it, fools!"

Everyone quivered and people began running about, smacking into each other at every turn to either escape or comply to the demands of (as he looked appropriately enough like) 'The Dread Pirate Erik'.

'Arr' was all he could think, the smirk slightly disappearing as he thought something so comical.

"FASTER, SLAVES, I'M NOT SATISFIED AND WILL NOT PAY YOU UNTIL I AM!" he roared.

He felt like he needed a whip right about now, a whip and a swashbuckling sword. And maybe one of those nifty little captains' hats…..

"Work more quickly!" he shrieked, cupping his hands in front of his mouth to increase the volume of his already menacing voice.

They all ran around faster, whacking into each other this way and that.

"Faster!" he yelled, almost laughing.

They all stopped and turned to him as he began to laugh madly, the laugh more like a deep and threatening chuckle that sounded as if he belonged in the depths of hell.

"FASTER, LITTLE SLAVES! WORK HARDER! THAT'S RIGHT, BOW TO ME!" he stopped, noticing the sudden pause in sound and movement. He blinked and cleared his throat, "that is to say, find me that organ!"

They all quickly went back to skittering about in order to fetch him more 'furnishings' to his 'home'.

He felt very much like a very powerful and delightfully amused pirate puppet master.

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Thus endith chapter two! Chapter three's coming soon, can you say, 'Piangi and the organ through the mirror'? Erik's gonna have a blast….