Stray Dog

Chapter Three - "Misunderstanding"

By Dejiko Mew Mew

It was in that instant that a wave of calm passed over me, and I somehow knew this was something of what I was longing for.

"That smile..." Havoc laughed softly. He poked my nose with his finger. "Looks good on you."

So... that was it, I told myself. That strangeness I had been feeling was all really... me falling in love with Havoc-shoui. It was as though my heart had known it all along, but my head didn't want to believe it. And why should it? I'd only recently begun to acquaint myself with him, and yet, here I was, melting at his touch. I wished this joy would last forever, but I knew where I stood in Shoui's eyes. I was simply a comrade, at best, and the little guy that needed protecting. I was all right with that, if it was him. But even so, I wished for more...

"You're too nice to me," I blushed, lowering my gaze.

"Your tone implies that you think you don't deserve it..." he replied... I could still feel his gaze engraved upon me. I cringed a bit. What does one say to such a thing? I didn't trust myself to deny it with a straight face. I couldn't agree because it would just be more troublesome for Shoui... So I said nothing. I didn't expect to be released so easily, and indeed I shouldn't have let my guard down when I left his line of sight.

"Why... would you feel that way?" he questioned, his voice... a bit somber, perhaps. "I'm sorry... I shouldn't-- I just don't understand. You're... such a nice guy, Fuery. Someone like me... couldn't even compare..." His voiced faded and he grew distant yet again. I recognized the pallor on his face and I knew I had seen his eyes lose their splendor before. He didn't seem to have voiced a complete thought, and I wondered what sadness remained locked in his thoughts. I didn't know, and I couldn't possibly hope to understand, but I couldn't leave the one whom I adored in such pain.

"Those should be my lines," I smiled, scratching the back of my head. "I'm a useless idiot that only gets in everyone's way. I'm always... being protected... I mean, it's nice-- kinda-- knowing that people do look out for me, but at the same time, I know what an inconvenience I am... And I don't have... anything special about me."

Havoc-shoui didn't say anything after that, and I could only hope that perhaps he knew where I was coming from, that maybe he felt a little better on my account. I could only hope.

"Well..." he said after a long silence, "I should head off... Hawkeye's already probably firing off her guns at people trying to find out where I am."

"I-I'm... sorry..." I apologized.

"No worries," he assured me, ruffling my hair like he always does. "I can handle it. I'm a tough guy..." He smiled wider. "And so are you. You just don't realize it."

I watched him leave then. It was a bit painful, as I had been so happy to have him by my side, but that joy remained in my heart. I wanted to tell him how I felt, but I had only just discovered it myself. There was no way I should expect him to return my feelings.

I went to take another sip of soup, only to find a cigarette butt in it. I laughed a bit as I set it aside and supposed there were things that even Havoc-shoui was a little helpless with.

---

The next day, I was up an hour earlier than usual. I spent three times as long getting ready... I really felt kind of ridiculous, but at the same time, I couldn't help myself. Although... if Shoui knew, he'd probably laugh at me.

I arrived at work ten minutes early and was ready to take on any task. I had somewhat put the idea in my head that today would be a good day. Nevertheless, the first thing that occurred upon my arrival was my summoning to Taisa's office...Way to ruin my mood.

I knocked on the door steadily, taking in a deep breath of preparation for the scolding I knew which was to come. "Come in," he answered from within, and I entered, closing the door gently behind me. I walked forward to the desk and raised my hand to my forehead in a salutation.

"You called for me... Sir?" I replied, trying my best to keep my voice even, to disguise the undeniable fear that always came out when speaking with Taisa.

"Yes," he said casually, still signing papers, one hand holding up his lazy head. He never looked up at me. I was never worth eye contact to him. "Explain your absence yesterday."

So, apparently, he noticed when my presence was missing, but it meant nothing if I were there. "I have... no explanation, really," I bowed apologetically. "I will take any punishment..."

After that, I raised my head to find his fiery eyes locked on me. My heart skipped a beat and I struggled to keep a straight face. Why did he look so frightening? I stood still and silent as he rose from his desk and ventured around until he was right before me, overpowering me in confidence and height. I took a step back. Why wasn't he saying anything? Did he really enjoy scaring me so much?

"Any punishment?" he repeated, a sick curiosity in his voice. I didn't want to respond. I didn't know what was in his head at the moment-- if he was in his right state of mind. He seemed different...

And then I felt his arms around me and I was pressed against his chest. His heart was beating rapidly, too. My eyes remained wide.

"Would you really consider it that?" he continued. He placed a hand under my chin and lifted my gaze to meet his. He narrowed his eyes. "Why are you shaking?"

I wanted to run away so badly. I shut my eyes tightly. I hate this, I hate this! I thought. Why wouldn't I be shaking?

"If you're still nervous about Havoc..." he started. I gasped and looked back at him. How did he know? "It's all right. I told him I wasn't interested. Nothing happened between us."

What... does he mean by that? I wondered. And then, it all began to fall together... Everything. Four days ago, when I found Havoc-shoui, he was outside of Taisa's house. That's when it happened. He confessed his love for Taisa and was turned down... And, then... Shoui's words yesterday... "Someone like me... couldn't even compare..."

But I didn't want to believe it. I couldn't believe it. There was... absolutely no way that Taisa could... love... me...?

A small gasp escaped my breath as Taisa's lips enclosed on mine. My body was rendered useless as I stood in shock. I couldn't even stand on my own; I was being completely supported by Taisa. I couldn't stop him. I couldn't push away. I couldn't... do anything.

And just as a tear began to roll down my cheek, I heard the door open. Taisa's lips quickly left mine and we both faced the unexpected intruder...

Why...? Why did it turn out like this...?

TO BE CONTINUED!