Title: The Diary Project
Warnings: Respect the rating.
Disclaimer: Don't own it.
IMPORTANT NOTE; READ FIRST: This is only Yamato's half of the story. Reading this document in its entirety will only give you half the story. You must read Taichi's half as well for this story to make sense. "Sparkle Itamashii" is writing Taichi's half of the story- it has the same title as this half.
Day 20 - Thursday
A surprising turn of events today, TK rang me up to apologise for Tuesday and when he came over for dinner he was nearly back to his usual self. His only lapse was when I accidently mentioned Kari, but other than that every thing was fine.
I feel a little bit sorry for Daisuke since he doesn't seem to realise that TK and Kari are meant for each other. If he's trying to butt in on things at this stage he's obviously just a little bit desperate. I still don't understand how Kari and TK could end up fighting like they did though, I think I must be missing something important. I keep hoping TK will say something other than 'Stupid Dai.' and tell me what on earth is going on but I should probably just ask Taichi. At least he'd be able to tell me without blowing up.
I made Yutaka introduce his song to the band today because Akira asked if anyone else had anything new. I was a little bit disappointed that they took it less seriously than they would've if it had of been from me. At least he wrote something and gave it to someone, it's a start even if it wasn't brilliant. If he keeps writing he'll get better, this one just needs a little bit of work.
The reason Akira asked us about new material was because he had a new one of his own. It's pretty really and goes against the style we've been developing. I think it'll be a good one to break away to after we start introducing 'Ride Time' in a couple of weeks.
At the moment I'm debating on whether or not to call Taichi. I want to be cross at him but I'm just not. I was yesterday after he ditched me but it's kind of died away now because...well, it's just because it's him, I guess. I always seem to get cross at him really quickly then it goes away again as if it weren't there. I think it's more because I forget than anything else. I'm so used to him now that it's difficult to alter how I act towards him especially over something so insignificant.
I mean, it's not like he can concentrate on me all the time, I'm not the only one in his life. He's got family and other friends...lot's of other friends he has to deal with. I only take up a small chunk of his social circle.
He doesn't need me there like I need him to be for me. He can turn around and find somebody else. It's going to hurt like buggery when he actually gets a girlfriend because all the time he can spend with me now he's going to want to spend with her. I can see it happening, probably in the next couple of years.
It makes me hate how broken up my family is because they're the one's that I'm supposed to be closest to. I can rely on Taichi more than I can rely on any of them and I think I'd prefer to go to him instead. My mum is so far away I can barely see her anymore and she did a pretty decent job of taking TK with her. I got him back for a little while at least, but now he's growing away again. The last two weeks are pretty much proof of that considering he didn't want to have anything to do to me. Even today when he was quite a bit happier he didn't want to bother me with his problems.
I wish dad were here at least a little bit more than he is. I feel like he's at work all the time so he doesn't have to deal with me. I can't ever tell him anything because I'm afraid he'll run away. So who am I supposed to talk to? Who's there to help me figure things out?
Why do I have to do everything on my own all the time? How come I can't have...just...somebody? I don't want to go through life always forgotten. I don't want to be left behind.
I will be though. It's inevitable. One day I might even do the leaving. I wonder if that would make it any easier; being the one to say goodbye.
Run away Yamato, run away, before they run from you.
I don't want to write anymore, it's making me depressed. I'm going to call Taichi and pretend I'm happy.
IMPORTANT NOTE; PLEASE READ: This is only Yamato's half of the story. Reading this document in its entirety will only give you half the story. You must read Taichi's half as well for this story to make sense. "Sparkle Itamashii" is writing Taichi's half of the story- it has the same title as this half.
To read this story as it is supposed to be read, please switch to Sparkle Itamashii's page and read the corresponding chapter of "The Diary Project" there as well. (or if you found her page first, please proceed to the next chapter on her page.)