Out of her hands
A/n: Thank you Ang for beta reading this chapter and getting it back to me so quickly. She is a whiz. Another bunch of huge thank you's to all of you who reviewed the last chapter. Your comments and thoughts are truly appreciated. Sorry that this chapter is short compared to the others. I didn't want to keep repeating myself. On with the chapter!
Chapter Seven: Feeling Lost
Albus withdrew his head from the flames and settled back into his chair. A sense of failure overwhelmed him and he sighed loudly. He had remained in the fire for several minutes before finally admitting to himself that she wasn't going to come back through the kitchen door. He hadn't expected her to take his reappearance well but he had expected that she would have at least heard him out, let him explain what had happened and why he did what he did. He wished that she had let him explain and then she could have stormed away. She would have had her answers then and she could have made up her own mind. With a defeated sigh, he rose from his chair and made his way to the kitchen. He needed to think and the best way was to sit down with a mug to steaming hot chocolate and ponder over things.
It had been wonderful to see her again. She was just as beautiful as the day he left her on the doorstep. He remembered that day so well. She had asked for no goodbyes because it seemed so final. She hadn't asked him to promise her that he would return to her because she knew that promises could be broken. He remembered telling her on the doorstep that he loved her and they would be together again. She had smiled and kissed him with all the passion her small, delicate body held. The memory of that kiss had kept him company on many lonely nights away from her.
She had stood on the doorstep watching him walk away and he was sure he heard her sniffle. He had wanted to turn back and comfort her but he knew that it would make the parting more painful. It was hard seeing her again after eight months and though she was still beautiful, she had changed. The weight loss was visible to him. She had always been slim but with curves in the all the right places. Now her once clingy robes hung loosely from her frame. Her facial features had hardened a little bit and her eyes weren't as bright as he had remembered. It caused him pain that his absence from her life had caused this.
When she swept away from him, part of him wanted to step through the flames and follow her but the other part of him had stopped him. He knew Poppy and Alastor would be there for her and he knew that they were true friends. Poppy and Minerva were like sisters and the bond had only increased over the years. He didn't even know if Minerva was relieved to see him alive but could he even expect her to? He had put her through hell these past months and it was all down to his pride and vanity. These were the two things Albus had despised in people but he was no better than them. He had been one of those people who he disliked most and had hurt people in the process.
In fact, he was worse than them because he had caused pain to the most important people in his life. He hadn't even contacted his own family. What type of man was he?
Taking his hot chocolate back into the room where he had just left, he sat back down and stared at the fire. He had half expected Poppy or Alastor's face to appear and give him a dressing down but they hadn't. They were probably with Minerva, as they should be. Taking a sip of thick, rich hot chocolate didn't even comfort him but he had known that all along. He didn't want Minerva hating him. He wanted her to know what had happened during his fight with Grindelwald and what had happened after he had been found. He wanted to make it up to her and try to win her back. Deep down he knew that had he had been in her shoes that he wouldn't have given himself a second chance. Never in his wildest dreams had he expected to be where he was now, alone and feeling sorry for himself.
The house he had built from them felt empty. He felt like a trespasser in each room he wandered into. He had built this home for him and his family and it looked like that there was to be no family life for him. His heart belonged to Minerva and he feared it always would. No one could replace her in his affections and he wouldn't want anyone to try. He had found his soul mate in the fiery Gryffindor. They were kindred spirits who had found each other. His mother had told him on her deathbed that some people look for the love he and Minerva had all their lives and never find it and so he should cherish and adore her to the ends of time. His mother's words had affected Albus deeply and he had repeated them to Minerva. She had appreciated them just as she was meant to and they had decided that they would include them in their wedding vows.
Albus shook his head and sighed. The memory of them deciding on their wedding vows brought the reality of what he had lost. They would have married on the 27th of the previous month/ They had been preparing arrangements on the morning when the letter had arrived. He had forgotten about their wedding plans till now and he hated himself even more. He had left it all up to her to cancel the wedding she was so looking forward to. No bride-to-be should have to go through that…ever. He didn't deserve a second chance. He wasn't worthy of a second chance. Preoccupied in his thoughts he failed to notice the presence behind him until the person spoke.
"I suggest you tell me everything!"
To be continued.