Author's notes: I was looking through my old pieces and I noticed this little one stuck away in the corner of a notebook. Somehow, it makes me feel like my writing back then was better than my writing now. It's kind of depressing. Anyhow, enjoy!
Disclaimer: PoT is not mine, neither do I benefit monetarily from this.
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Once upon a time in the land of faeries where everything was calm and peaceful, in this marvelous land of joy and exuberance, where everyone was friends with everyone else, where the flowers bloom without fail, where….
"Ouch! $$#&#, get off me you stupid faerie, before I blast your guts out with my pumpkin!"
Okay… so maybe I lied.
So…anyway, in this land of faeries, no matter how violent they were, there lived a young faerie. His name was Shishidoh Ryoh and yes, if you hadn't already guessed, he was the hair faerie.
This was his life. Wake up in the middle of the damned night, make a cup of coffee or two, grumble a little then fly around with a pair of 'oh-so-pretty-I-wish-I-had-them-yeah-I'll-gladly-give-'em-to-you' wings while collecting hair from people who slept with their hair under their pillows. Grumble a bit more, throw away all that stinkin' hair, and go back to sleep with his magical house cat, Ohtori, oh peaceful sleep. (No, faeries did not fool about with their magical house cats, at least, not in the day time.)
Then, after finally getting down to the beauty sleep, get awaken rudely by the stupid tooth faerie and her blasted husband of a dentist. Figures, tooth freaks.
Shishidoh snorted, he only liked his job when he could go around snipping off people's hair and watching their confused and stupid faces wonder where all their hair went over night. Shishidoh sniggered unkindly. 'They could open a 'Hey, where did my hair go!' club, only for bald idiots who were dumb enough not to listen to their mummies about how the hair faeries would get them…err… their hair.' Oh yeah, he could see it already.
Yes kids, we have one cranky faerie on our hands.
Anyway, one day, he set off to do his job. He flew about and amused himself by doing triple back flips in mid-air, using his scissors to cut off half the feathers from a bird which was trying to irritate him. 'Piss off dude,' he thought.
He flew into the house of his first victim, where he encountered an enormous, gargantuan man, who was snoring so hard he was amazed the house was standing…nah, scratch that, the city was not leveled, wow.
He cut off whatever little hair the guy had, threw it in the dustbin, stuck a coin (chocolate, no doubt) under his pillow and left once he managed to get his ears to work properly once more.
Next, he flew into a house, rich kid surely, and up the stairs. 'Rich and paranoid', he thought, because there were no upstairs windows at all. There he saw a boy or about fifteen years odd, with really nice hair, as in really nice hair. He gasped….
Then shrugged. Oh well, not for long. Taking out his scissors, he snipped with it experimentally a few times before starting his work.
After Shishidoh was done he left, sniggering again. Boy…was that kid gonna have a shock or what.
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"Oh My God! WHAT HAPPENED TO ORE-SAMA'S BEAUTIFUL HAIR!"
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And miles away in the land of faeries, where everything was calm and peaceful and in this marvelous land of joy and exuberance, where everyone was friends with everyone else, where the flowers bloom without fail, where Shishidoh Ryoh (and his magical silver house cat) snickered in triumph when he heard the despairing wails of horror from miles away. Munching away on the last bit of chocolate, he threw the wrapper into the dustbin and shrugged. "Oh well," he mused to nobody in particular. It was just another day in the life of another psychopathic hair faerie.
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Shishidoh woke up with a smile on his face. He had dreamt of something marvelous, he didn't remember it but he knew it was one heck of a good dream.
And as he did his work that day, he pondered about how Choutarou did indeed look a lot like a house cat and how Atobe might look without hair. He promptly burst out laughing.
That night, he dreamt of hair faeries, more unsuspecting victims, a silver cat and the land of faeries, where everything was calm and peaceful and in this marvelous land of joy and exuberance. Where everyone was friends with everyone else. Where the flowers bloom without fail. Where….
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"Ii Data…."
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- End-