Fairytale
Not every story ends happily ever after...
A kaixmax fic
by Trueangel
Yaoi stories are so idealized.
For those who don't believe me, go look for a close friend of the same gender and say "I love you." And make it clear that you mean "in a romantic sense" even though you don't mean it.
Of course, if they weren't idealized, then we wouldn't have much of a story, would we? "I love you." "Sorry, but I'm not gay." The end.
But what if, just for once, "I love you" isn't followed by "I love you too"?
After all, not every story ends happily ever after.
homophobia n. irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals.
Takao burst into the room and pounced onto the bed, leaving Max at the door. He lay spread-eagled on the bed.
"Ooh, this is so comfortable."
"Well, I'm glad at least one of us is enjoying this," said Max, as he dragged both his and Takao's luggage into the room. "What do you put in your bag anyway?" Max grumbled.
"Well, you know, just stuff."
"Then either you have a lot of stuff or your stuff is really heavy."
The bags in the room at last, Max closed the door of the room. As he did so, he spied Kai walking into his room further down the hallway. Max sighed, but Takao didn't notice. Max walked over to the bed and nudged Takao in the ribs in his attempt to fight for some space on the bed. Takao sat upright as Max sat on the bed beside him.
"Hey, that hurt, Max. You know, I hope Kai doesn't insist that we train today, I..."
Max's thoughts began to wander as Takao rambled on beside him. Kai. Kai Hiwatari, the leader of the Bladebreakers. Kai Hiwatari, the enigmatic, brooding beyblader. Kai Hiwatari, the one boy who had stolen Max's heart. Max loved Kai. No matter how much Max tried to tell himself otherwise, he just couldn't be convinced that the truth was anything but those three words, that he loved Kai. And that was the simple part. The tough part was dealing with it. Those three words drove him wild with ecstasy whenever Kai smiled at him, or talked to him, or even hinted, however slightly, that he might, just might, feel the same way. Similarly, those three words drove him deep into despair whenever Kai was unhappy with him, or ignored him, or even hinted, however slightly, that he might, just might, not feel the same way. Frankly, it drove him mad. Of course, it wasn't a hopeless problem. If he told Kai, at least he would know how Kai felt and wouldn't have to jump at Kai's every action. But Max felt horrified whenever that thought came to his mind. He couldn't tell Kai! What if Kai hated him because of it? What if he never saw Kai again? Max didn't know which was worse - the torment he felt now, or Kai's hatred.
"Max?"
Max snapped out of his thoughts.
"Hmm? I'm sorry, what were you saying?"
"You seem rather distracted. What's on your mind?"
"Nothing."
"Oh really."
"Well... Takao, I need to tell you something."
"What is it?"
"I..."
"You're gay."
Max's eyes darted towards Takao. "You knew?"
"Oh please, I've known you long enough to be able to tell. I even know you have a crush on Kai."
"Does Kai know?"
"No, I don't think so."
Max looked down at the ground and fell silent.
"And that's what's bothering you?"
"Yeah."
"You know, you should talk to him."
"I've thought about that, but what he hates me? I don't want to lose him as a friend."
"But you can't possibly stay like this forever."
"I know."
Max paced up and down in front of Kai's room. Trust Takao to plan something like this. He'd organized a shopping trip to draw Rei and Kenny away. Kai, as expected, had declined to join them. And, according to Takao's instructions, Max feigned a headache. Now, he and Kai were left behind at the hotel.
Max paused in front of the door and took a deep breath. Okay, this was going to work out. After all, Kai and him had known each other for a long time, right? Even if Kai didn't love him, surely their friendship was strong enough to survive this. At this thought Max faltered. How well did he know Kai anyway? Kai was always so mysterious and secretive. All Max knew was that he loved Kai - and did Kai know Max as well as Max thought he would? Perhaps they weren't really friends at all. Perhaps this wasn't such a good idea after all...
But no. He had to do it. Max had to tell Kai. If not for himself, then at least for Takao. After all Takao was Max's close friend, and Max had, even if it wasn't intentional, Max had made Takao worry about him. He had to talk to Kai. He had to.
Max knocked on the door.
"Who is it?"
"It's me, Max."
"Come in, the door's unlocked."
Max opened the door and walked in. The room was furnished exactly like his own, but that was expected. Kai sat at the desk at the corner of the room, writing something. Max closed the door behind him and walked towards Kai, but stopped some distance away from him.
Without looking up, Kai asked, "Weren't you with the rest of them?"
"No, I had a headache, so I didn't join them."
"Are you feeling better now?"
"Yeah."
"But still, you should be resting. You don't want to compromise your performance."
"No, really, I'm fine."
"Mm hmm."
"Hey, I need to tell you something, Kai."
"What is it?" Kai asked without pausing.
"I... I'm gay."
Kai froze for a second, then continued writing.
"I'm serious, Kai. I'm gay."
The pen in Kai's hand dropped onto the table with an ominous clatter, reverberating throughout the otherwise silent room. Slowly, Kai stood up and turned to face Max, taking a step backward.
"No, Kai, don't do this..."
"Get away from me!"
"Please, Kai, listen to me, I-"
"You... filth! I'll... I'll kill you!"
"No, Kai, wait-"
"Bastard! Faggot! I hate you!"
Kai was oblivious to whatever Max was saying. He picked up the chair he was sitting on less than a minute ago and swung it at his teammate. Wracked by the simultaneous emotions of fear, hurt, and guilt, Max twisted around, and yanked the door open. Tears streaming down his face, he ran away from Kai's room. As his footsteps followed him down the hallway, he heard the door slam shut behind him.
Rei picked up a bright yellow-colored mug from the shelf. On it was printed a smiley face and the words 'Enjoy life.' Rei smiled. "Max would love this mug."
"Yeah," Kenny agreed. "Too bad he isn't with us, though. I wonder if he's feeling better?"
"Why don't we get the mug for him?" suggested Takao.
"Great idea."
Takao looked through the metal window frame, through the glass window. He wondered how Max was doing.
Max continued to run, his footsteps carrying him wherever they willed. His mind was vacant now. He couldn't think. He didn't want to think. Only one emotion filled his heart now, and that was hurt. The words of Kai played endlessly into his ears.
"Get away from me!"
"You... filth!"
"I hate you!"
Max continued to run. What had he done to deserve this? All he had done was to love Kai. Was that his mistake? Was it wrong to love Kai? No, that couldn't be it. He never got to tell Kai how he felt. He had merely admitted that he was gay. Was that it, then? Did his mistake lie in him being gay? Yes, that had to be it. He was gay, and that was where he went wrong. He shouldn't be gay. He mustn't be gay.
But he loved Kai. He had to love Kai. Otherwise, how could he explain the flood of emotions that swamped him at Kai's every single action? He must love Kai.
He had to love Kai. He had to be gay. But he couldn't.
Max loved Kai. But he couldn't love Kai.
Max stopped, and found himself in front of an old dilapidated factory. Turning, he found himself staring at his own reflection is a broken glass window. He saw a face that was scared, tired... and utterly detestable.
"You... filth!"
There was only one thing to feel now - pain.
Max ran his fingers over the edge of the broken glass, and slowly blood crept down the grooves of his fingerprints. So. Max was the mistake.
Takao walked down the hallway towards his hotel room. Anticipating that Max and Kai might want more time together, Takao had insisted that he, Rei and Kenny have dinner outdoors before returning. As much as he wanted Max and Kai to get together, he sure as hell didn't want to walk in on them kissing, or even worse, having sex. He hoped they had enough time to do whatever they wanted.
Takao opened the door. The room was empty. He placed the yellow mug on the table, before walking out and towards Kai's room. He knocked on the door, and was greeted by Rei.
"Is Kai there?"
"No. I guess he went out."
"Well, never mind then."
Takao bid Rei goodnight and walked back to his room. As he did so, he smiled to himself. It seemed like his plan worked after all. He hoped the two of them were having fun.
Kai sat on the bench in the empty park, looking up at the clouded sky.
A young nine year-old Kai stood in the dungeon cell. His grandfather walked in and closed the cell door, locking it with a metallic click that echoed off the stone walls. He walked towards Kai.
"Take off your clothes."
Fearful, Kai obeyed and stripped down to his underwear.
"I mean all your clothes."
"But, grandpa-"
The whip in Voltaire's hand cracked, and Kai felt a sharp pain running up his left leg even as his left knee buckled. Kai held back his tears as his briefs joined the rest of his clothes in a pile in a corner of the room.
"Turn around."
Kai obeyed and turned, his back facing his grandfather. Without notice he felt Voltaire's fingers pushing into him. Kai squirmed, and now pain shot through his right leg. His knees collapsed, and Kai knelt on the floor like a dog, a tamed dog, his hands supporting his body weight and preventing him from falling onto the dirt ground. Kai gritted his teeth as each sharp thrust from his grandfather threatened to tear his flesh.
Kai tried to block out all sensations and all thoughts as the act went on, but to his surprise it felt good, as his grandfather continued to brush against his young sensitive nerves. And, in his ignorance, Kai decided he loved it, and looked forward to it every day from that day onwards. Well, that was until the day he realized what was happening to him. From that moment of realization Kai hated what his grandfather was doing, and more than that he hated himself for loving it and for being unable to stop it.
But even then it continued every day, sometimes more than once a day, until the day Kai left the Abbey.
Takao heard a knock at the door.
"I'll be there in a minute!"
Takao grinned to himself. It was probably Max, back at last from his date with Kai. Takao stepped out of the shower, still dripping wet, and toweled himself dry in the groin area before slipping on a pair of clean boxer shorts. Takao walked out of the bathroom and picked up the mug he had bought for Max, and paused and smiled as he read the words on the mug. 'Enjoy life.' Well, Max certainly was enjoying life, Takao thought to himself. Finally, Takao opened the door.
"Ma-"
There in the doorway stood Max, his white shirt stained crimson like the red of passion dulled and darkened. His fingers too were stained with blood, and in his right hand Max still clenched tightly in his fist a broken glass shard.
"Max!"
Max's lifeless body fell into Takao's arms, his head resting against Takao's bare chest in a morbidly erotic scene of tanned chiseled flesh on pale bloodless flesh, except that Takao wasn't the one Max still loved, and Max had been, for about a minute, since ten seconds after he knocked on the door, dead. Fresh blood dripped from Max's wrist into the bright yellow mug.
Enjoy life.
END.