A/N: I barely had time to skim this before I had to get back to History homework. I still can't get the centering and stuff to work right so this will probably be a really messed up format for letters. Sorry about that.
Chapter Five
Letters
March 30, 463
Dear Yvenne,
I trust your studies are going well, you always were too smart for me. Lady Keladry and Captain Domitan, along with his squad and Sir Nealan caught up with us a few weeks back. Neal's lady, Yukimi, might be heart sore, but the rest of us have to deal with his temper. He seems to have a temper fiercer than the Lioness'. I certainly would not want to be caught in one of their arguments.
Kel told me you were okay, but I won't be able to believe it until I see it. I wish that day would hurry up.
I would have written sooner, but there's so much to do! Yvenne, you wouldn't believe the work Sir Raoul puts on me, and I have to try everything at least once. That includes digging latrines! Still, the work is good, and Sir Raoul is a great man. He tells me I may be greater than him one day, but I don't believe it.
Still, being away from the luxuries of Corus is as easy as being away from you. Maggur still has a sharp bite even without his killing devices, and I've seen three battles already. The men call it seeing Kraken, and it's not as glorious as the stories say. It's a lot of hard work and waiting.
I wish you were here, you always could make me smile. Kick Bray a couple times for me. But seriously, stay safe and out of trouble. Don't forget to write back soon. If you have to write in Myles' class he'll understand.
I'll be waiting and missing you
Aiden
She muttered about his choice of wording, as if she would be eager to return a letter. Still, she picked up his letter carefully and held it against her chest. She tried to breathe in some of his remaining scent, but the letter was written a month ago and had been passed by many hands by now.
She stuffed the letter into her pocket next to her Reading crystal and ran to class.
*
April 15, 463
Brave words Aiden.
Luckily, I don't believe half of your jokes. I did manage to get in a few good punches with Bray though. He's been even more of a bother since you and Lady Keladry left. Nothing I can't handle though.
So you're on casual terms with Knights and fighting wars? I'd expect nothing less. Get yourself killed though, and you'll have more to answer to than the Black God.
I held a sword today, and it suits me almost as well as knives, or daggers, as you nobles call them apparently. Not even that conservative HaMinch can say any worse. Maybe I've gained some respect or maybe now I'm just a thief with a longer blade. Either way I do feel safer.
Tell Lady Keladry I still train with the Yamani's in the morning, and Queen Thayet is even helping me learn to use a bow. I'd never been very good, that was always Fianola's best weapon. I've really missed them lately. I feel as if I'm living their dream, but I can't decide whether that's good or bad.
Well, I've problems to figure and scripts to memorize, but at least I'm not digging latrines or dealing with sulky knights.
Mithros be with you
Yvenne
"What does she mean, nobles like me? And I do mean what I tell her! Why won't she believe me?" he demanded, frustrated.
Dom grinned and clapped his shoulder as he read the letter, "Women are funny," he shot a glance at Kel who gave him a blank stare in return. "Especially fighting women," he added as an afterthought, but Kel only moved about her normal chores as if she'd never heard.
*
June 7, 463
Yvenne~
I can't imagine what you mean, scolding as you did. Still, I am grateful that you don't wish me dead.
Kel is telling me to let you know to find someone to joust with, but I'd advise against it. I jousted once with Sir Raoul-once. Once with Kel, both times I landed face down in the mud. If you do choose to joust, please choose someone that's not as big as a mountain; that's the only advice I can give.
Life falls into a routine- wake just before dawn, cook, duty for the day, lunch, scouting and small competitions or hunting, dinner, lessons with Kel and Sir Raoul. Only battle can shatter the routine. I almost long for us to move, even an inch closer to Corus, to you. I know it sounds foolish, but I can't trust you're okay unless I can see you. I just want to look after you. Now, don't scold, I know you're perfectly capable, but still…
How is our dearest Bray doing? Still misbehaving? I've learned much while here and while I could beat him before, I'm sure I could kill him now.
Night is closing in, and Sir Raoul will be looking for me to teach me more formulas for how many horseshoes a company might need. Some of them are quite useful, believe it or not.
~Aiden
She stared at the letter. Still toying with her emotions miles away. She folded it and put it in a small jewelry box her mother had given her long ago, one of the last things she had that linked her to her past. Her mind wandered- what to do with him?
She sat down to write but no lies would form, so she crumpled the paper and pulled out her books to begin her never-ending list of assignments.
A few hours later, she shut the door quietly behind her and found someone waiting for her in the dark. Before she could draw her sword, cold steel was at her throat, "I don't want to hurt you."
She remembered that voice, though she couldn't say from where, "You had better not. I don't like to use the Gift but use it I shall if you try," she threatened, and the knife pulled away.
She caught a glint of sapphire eyes and handsome features, "You're the boy who saved me."
He bowed in the way of the Rogue, and she grinned, "At your service. I was sent to tell you that the Lord Provost is watching you closely but watching that boy Bray even closer. Try to stay out of both their ways."
"I can as easily stay out of the way of a heard of horses running toward me," she muttered but nodded to him. "I will do what I can."
"See that you do, the Rogue has too much investment in you for you to fail now," he bowed once more, then disappeared into the darkness.
She went back inside, she suddenly had inspiration for her letter, and the Dancing Dove could wait. If he was going to toy with her emotions she'd try toying with his.
*
July 20, 463
Dear Aiden,
You're right, I can take care of myself, but in case you're still not satisfied, there's the Rogue- one member of the Rogue in particular, a boy about my age. He keeps popping up in the strangest places. I'm sure he's the one who brought me to Sir Raoul's that night. I wish he came around more, so I could thank him properly. He must work in the palace, and he has the look of someone with magic, but I can't be sure of either. He told me the Lord Provost is keeping an eye on both me and Bray, and that I was an investment to the Rogue, whatever that means.
Tell Lady Keladry I took her advice (and yours) and jousted with a knight named Sir Owen who's here for the time being. I guess they're friends. For as nice and docile as he is, he packs a hard punch. I've only found myself flying once though. Bruised heavily, but in the saddle.
Master Numair keeps testing my Gift and my…talent, but I'm scared of it. I looked in the crystal again and saw a boy die in the war and soon. He'll never be knighted. I tried to tell him, but he only laughed and called names. I'll just not use the crystal again.
It seems the Yamani's are waiting to hit me with their sticks
Goddess send you strength
Yvenne
His hands clenched around the letter, "The Rogue! She'll get herself thrown out before she sees her second year."
"Are you angry that she's tangled with the Rogue or because she's tangled with a boy of the Rogue?" Neal had a terrible habit of bringing old sores into the open.
"I-" he stopped, and Neal smirked. Dom grinned.
"Women are funny," he advised, not the first or last time.
"It's good Owen's taken her in," Kel answered, managing yet again to feign deafness.
*
September 4, 462
Be careful Yvenne.
Tangling with the Rogue is dangerous enough without conservatives like the Lord Provost to look over your shoulder. As much as you confuse me, anger me sometimes, you deserve your shield. Be picky as to whom you get involved with. I know you'll not like this idea, but a few words to the right people with good family names can work wonders in the palace. Getting in the right circle might take all your charms and all your stealth. Too many love affairs will make you known as a girl who is fickle, but the right words may let you into a circle where you can gain respect. Then an extended love affair and a friendship afterward may change people's opinions. Of course, that's only politics.
Kel seems to think we'll be home for Midwinter, but Sir Raoul only grumbles about leaving just because of a little cold. I'm slowly beginning to agree with him, though not for the same reasons. It seems you're not the same person I left. I guess it was just a mask. It's all very well anyway; the war keeps me busy as your studies keep you. I've not need to trouble you further.
~Aiden
Her face paled; she had pushed him too far. Something in her wouldn't let her pick up her pen and beg for forgiveness though. She sighed and pulled on a deep blue dress then covered herself in a jet-black cloak. She could make herself unseen if she wished, though, sometimes it was easier to simply become someone else.
She slipped out and under the palace guards' noses easily. She then ran to the stables, holding her dress, and smiled at Stefan when she reached them.
"No need to leave so late Milady, the city 'tis dangerous this time of night for one so fair," he bowed to her, and she drew back her hood, laughing.
"My disguise works that well?"
Stefan's eyes widened, and he nodded approvingly.
Yvenne saw a shadow moving amongst the horses in a secretive way. She reached for a sword that wasn't there and glared toward the spot.
Stefan shook his head, "He's sneaky like that, don't mind him."
She agreed, trusting Stefan but was still a little wary, "I need to see grandmother, is she in Corus?"
Stefan nodded, "With George, but this is their last night before they head back to Pirate's Swoop. Lucky," but he said it as if luck had nothing to do with it.
She muttered but threw herself onto her nimble gray mare called Starshadow. She didn't bother with a saddle, she was in too much of a hurry as she pulled up her hood, winked at Stefan, and galloped toward the Dancing Dove.
She made it there quickly, dismounted, and handed the reins to a boy waiting to take them, and walked inside, pulling her hood down as she did. She smiled as she easily spotted the woman she sought and quickly joined her party.
"Yvenne!" she grinned, and Yvenne could only smile back.
"Grandmother," she responded, and the woman smiled warmly.
"What's troubling you?" she wasn't one to dance around an issue.
"This," Yvenne quickly handed her Aiden's last letter, and her brows creased into a frown as she read it. "Why would he do this?" she forced away tears, crying could wait until later. Now she had questions that needed answering.
"Well to toy with you child. He wants you to apologize for whatever beating you gave him. I don't doubt he deserved it, all men do," two serving girls erupted in a fit of giggles at this. "To test you, to see if you'll take his advice or remain loyal. No doubt you'll both regret your words before this is through," she was nearing seventy, but she had the fire of a young woman.
"What should I do grandmother?" Yvenne's spirits were slightly lifted by the words.
"You shouldn't grovel, but I know you'd sooner lose him than beg to any man. You should make him regret his words in a way that won't make you regret yours. You should make him think he's been foolish, but you're not sore at his words. Lastly, you should sign the letter, 'With Devotion'."
Yvenne nodded and thanked her. They were talking of men when the door burst open and the room fell silent. Yvenne threw her hood up along with many others, then turned to see a messenger of the Lord Provost. She gulped and said a silent prayer to the Goddess.
The Rogue stood, hackles raised. One of the Rogue had betrayed their safe place. There would be bloodshed for this.
"I seek the Lady Rispah," the man boomed.
"Grandmother no," Yvenne begged as she stood.
"Hush child, it's George's orders, no need to fret," she whispered. Then, so the Lord Provost's messenger could hear, "I am her," he nodded gruffly and led her out just as gruffly.
Yvenne gave the Rogue a puzzled look that he returned.
*
October 14, 463
What if I took your advice?
What if I found myself a nice nobleman, an enemy of yours perhaps, or worse yet, a friend? Don't play games Aiden. I don't like games; they don't move me by now. In the Rogue, we say what we want outright- we don't play games. I'm no longer a noble, I won't play with you, trust me.
Still, I can't afford to lose my one friend among the squires, or at least, you used to be. Do you repent that decision like so many others? My own family repented it; I could see how you would.
I am busy with studies and practices, until the point where I drop into bed in exhaustion every night, but I always manage time for my friends.
I might not be on probation as Lady Keladry was, but I have yet to be permitted into the city. Still, I find ways to see those of the Rogue. Yet, I'm slipping away from them, slipping back into court life. I can't pretend to deny the only enjoyable thing about that was you, but now even we're distant.
Can you blame me for latching on to any familiarity? If you can, you have no need to write back. I won't understand; I'm not going to lie, but at least there will be something final.
With devotion,
Yvenne
He looked at it and shook his head, "I've been foolish, and she knows it. I wanted her to apologize when there was nothing for her to apologize about, and she knows that too."
"So what are you going to do?" Raoul asked his squire.
"Well I'm not going to lose her, not when I've yet to win her. So there's only one choice, I'm going to apologize," he answered, and Raoul nodded and grinned.
"You learn."
*
November 16, 463
Dear Yvenne,
There isn't enough time in only one day for you. For you, I'd need years, to make up for what I've done, but here is a start. I'm sorry, I was foolish. I jumped off a cliff into a river I didn't know the depth of. I don't want you to be alone in Corus and that you are shows me you have more strength than I. I don't know how I can make any of this up to you, but come Midwinter I'll find a way. It's another month or so, in which time I hope you'll be able to forgive me.
A small band of Scanrans attacked yesterday. Kel was injured but wouldn't let Neal see to her until the last Scanran was dead and every one of our wounded and dead carried off the field. Even after she'd been Healed, she wouldn't rest but instead helped the Healers with what she could. I've never seen anything like it. If I'm one tenth as strong or brave as she is when I'm knighted I'll be honored to say so.
Still, even after the attack only yesterday, usual life resumes. Only, lessons are halted to pick up extra chores until the wounded get back on their feet and replacements are sent. I'm quickly coming to realize Tortall is not defended by knights but by soldiers, braver than any noble I've met, besides those in my company. They don't need titles; their courage and deeds are names all by themselves.
I saw a man yesterday kill a Scanran that was trying to kill an already injured man. He picked up the man and carried him to Neal. Neal told me later that as soon as the man had delivered his charge, he dropped dead, three arrows in his back. That's real bravery. Nobles need titles to hide behind, commoners do deeds they'll possibly die doing, knowing that they'll probably never be recognized for them. Yet, the person or persons they touch will forever tell the story of the brave man or woman who saved them. That's what I strain to get close to, but bravery isn't something even Sir Raoul can teach.
The point is, I see bravery reflected even more deeply in those with us of the Rogue, those that tell me of a young noblewoman who joined their ranks only to become a page. That's bravery, and now I recognize it. I have no right to look down upon the Rogue. I have no reason to be ashamed of being friends with that. I only hope I haven't realized this too late.
Forgive me,
Aiden
She tried to remind herself that she was mad at him, but it was a failed attempt. Still, she managed to contain herself enough to stop from writing until two weeks later. Actually, she wrote the letter that day and dated it two weeks later, then sent it a week early.
He had won her over with words, and she found herself glad that he had. Maybe he wasn't so foolish after all.
*
So that's how their letters progressed for the next year and a half. They grew longer and more wistful as the days wore on. A surprise attack from the Scanrans just before Midwinter held them longer, early snow kept them stranded. Despite what Lady Keladry had said, they stayed for Midwinter, and when the snows melted, Sir Raoul found no reason to return to Corus. Instead, he had King Jonathan send supplies to him.
Aiden didn't voice his anger at this out loud, but Neal did.
"This is ludicrous!" he shouted at Raoul who merely smiled in amusement. "Just because Buri and the Queen's Riders aren't in Corus, you have no reason to go back! Some of us do!"
"You chose to develop your Healing Neal. As of right now, you are ousted in skill only by your father who cannot leave Corus to replace you. I'm sorry that Yuki is tied so tightly to her Princess, but I stay-you stay," he answered Neal's anger calmly and precisely.
The camp grumbled about Raoul's decision when Neal's sullen rage had them all on their toes the next two weeks, until Kel took him aside and told him in her calm Yamani way that he was being a child. He glared, but kept his opinions hidden.
It was just before Midwinter 464, just before the turning of the New Year, that Raoul and his men received their summons and their replacements. They didn't have enough supplies for the winter, and Jonathan couldn't get them there before the snows. Aiden tried not to jump on his gelding and gallop toward Corus. By the way the men moved in their saddles he knew he wasn't the only one. In fact, the only calm ones seemed to be Raoul and Kel. Kel seemed one with her gelding Peachblossom, but Raoul was stiff backed and ridged. Aiden thought he was scowling, which seemed an impossibility for the man.
"Why don't you like Corus My Lord?" no matter what Raoul tried, Aiden refused to use his knight master's first name.
"Parties, nobles, flirtatious women," Raoul answered contemptuously.
Aiden blinked- those were the general good things about Corus.
"Don't worry, we don't understand him either," Dom rode up and grinned at Raoul who smiled wryly back, looking an uncanny amount like Neal.
Kel hid a giggle when Neal rode in beside her, grinning like a fool. Neal looked too much like Raoul.
"What-" Neal started, but Raoul and Kel raised their hands in the signal for the group to move out, and they began at a slower pace than any of them liked, except for perhaps Raoul.