A/n: I'm SOOO unbelievably sorry!!! I know how long this took to take out, I know it's been months and months and you probably don't even remember this story, but I have a good reason! I finally found a publisher willing to look at my manuscript, so for months I've been working on editing and selling and stuff, and it looks like it FINALLY might work out! But seriously, I'm sooo sorry, and I promise to be more regular in my updates. bows and asks forgiveness? I hope this makes up for it!

Chapter Nine Dreams and Promises

"Aiden?" she knocked gently on his door, afraid to disturb him. She waited for a long while with no answer. She was just turning to leave when he swung his door open to gaze down at her with hollow, emotionless eyes. She gasped and jumped back. When he saw who it was, his expression softened just slightly.

"Yvenne," her name on his lips made her skin tingle, and a slight blush creep up her cheeks.

"I-I wanted to congratulate you-before the dinner," she had never had trouble speaking around him, why was she slipping up all of a sudden?

"Thank you, come in," he added the last as if it was an afterthought, "sorry about…" he stopped.

She looked at him curiously, had he forgotten what he was sorry about?

"The mess," he finished, staring into space.

"Aiden," she mumbled and put a hand on his shoulder. He flinched at her touch but managed a smile. "Are you all right?"

"I-it's…I-" he floundered for an answer before he fell onto his bed. "It's awful," but that's all he could say. There were no words for what he'd been forced to endure. "It's worse than awful it's…"

"Sh…" she hushed him when he put his head in his hands and sat next to him. She put her arms around his back and realized he was sweating, a cold sweat, as if he'd just woken from some horrible dream. "You're all right, and you're a knight!" she encouraged.

He looked up at her with those same hollow eyes and shook his head fiercely, "But why?" he demanded viciously, and she pulled back. "Why am I a knight Yvenne? Just answer me that!"

"I…" what was she supposed to say for that? Everyone had their own reasons; Kel and Alanna had proven that. How was she supposed to decide what his reason was? She remembered something Alanna had told her about the question at the end of the Big Test. She had said that the knights who possessed loyalty had a purpose, a reason for being a knight. What was Aiden's purpose if he himself did not know it? "You have to have a reason."

"I have one all right," he laughed bitterly. "Because my father told me I was becoming a knight and that was that, end of argument. Yvenne, I wanted to study, I wanted to be a mage, but…there was no room for argument, there never is."

He looked so hopeless there, with that hollow look in his eyes- that look that she wanted to vanquish with all her heart. How was she supposed to look into those eyes? Her heart swam with guilt when she had to look away. Where had her beautiful fiery Aiden gone? She longed with every part of her being to bring him back.

"They asked Raoul to let me come home, for me to be stationed near our land," he told her, and her heart got stuck in her chest. Home? But…they finally had a chance to be together! They finally had a way to be together, and now…why? Her eyes seemed to speak for her as he reached out and stroked her cheek with his hand. "You know I don't want to."

She nodded and forced herself to speak, "I know, but…maybe this is…best. I mean…you'll be home, to learn what you need to learn for when you inherit."

"I don't care about inheritance!" he shouted, standing up and beginning to pace. "I don't care about any of it! I just want to fight! Yvenne, I just want to do what I've been trained to do! I've been trained by one of the best knights in the realm, and for what? To go home and learn to be a Lord? They forced me into this when I wanted to study, but I adapted and grew to love it. Now, when I've finally accepted the fact that I am a knight and this is what I'm going to do with my life, they tell me that I can't even use what I've been taught! My skills will die in there! Magic and sword alike will fade away!" he seemed a bit calmed after his outburst, but he continued pacing. "I told them no, anyway."

"You told them no?" she looked at him through narrowed eyes. From what she'd heard no wasn't exactly an option.

"Raoul and Kel backed me up. They told my parents that I was a good knight and that would be a waste of my skill, but they argued, as they always do. I'm first born, I need to be around to inherit; you know how nobles are."

She nodded, that she did, and he looked away from her and continued pacing.

"That's when they came and spoke to me. I told them everything Kel and Raoul did. I told them everything that I wanted, and I may have gotten myself in trouble with what I wanted."

There was something dangerous in what he'd just said, "Aiden you didn't happen to mention…" she trailed off, because he was looking at her with desperate eyes again. He sat on his bed and nodded, cupping her face in his hands.

"I told them Yvenne, but how was I to explain it? The years of longing and the letters, the anguish, the fear that you'd walk out of my life forever? How was I supposed to put that into words, and I didn't-don't-know what we are, so I couldn't…Father, he…"

Yvenne didn't need to hear anymore, she knew too much already. A noble with a thief? And a girl squire at that? What in her every made her think it was possible? How many years had it been and nothing more than a gentle touch and a passion that didn't seem to fade? There was nothing, and it dawned on her more than ever now. There had never been anything, "Aiden," she pulled away from his hands. "I don't want to see you hurt."

"Then don't pull away," he whispered, but she stood despite.

"I know that they don't approve; I didn't expect them to. I'm a squire; I'm a girl, Aiden I'm a thief! That isn't what anyone wants for their son; I know that, and I'm fine with that. I just…I didn't think that you'd ever mention it…" It? She glared disgustedly. There was no it! What was she doing here even?

"Do not run away from me," the anger in his voice was enough to make her freeze. "Don't ever run away from me."

"I can't think of anything else to do. You're not seeing reason. The Ordeal must have been…"

He grabbed her and pulled her close to him, "The Ordeal was nothing compared to this moment," he whispered softly. "You can do two things. You can open that door and you can leave forever, or you can accept the fact that I'm not going anywhere and I'm in love with you."

She stifled a gasp, just barely, and shook her head, "I-" she could find no words, there was nothing to express the surprise. She closed her eyes and tried to clear her thoughts. Think rationally, she instructed herself, but there was no thinking with his body pressed to hers the way it was. There was no thinking when his voice was that hot on her neck. There was nothing but the moment, and the moment demanded recompense.

He smiled warmly, and she saw some of the old Aiden in those eyes, "Does that mean that you'll stay?"

She gulped and nodded.

"Good," he smiled warmly and reached in for a kiss that had been long in coming.

She was ready for it, she had been for years, and it tasted that much better because of the wait. Her hunger seemed to extend to him because he pushed her against his door, and she didn't mind; she wasn't fragile.

"God," he mumbled heatedly against her neck when they broke away, breathing kisses all over her shoulder blades. "I never thought I'd get a chance to do that."

She laughed lightly and bit his ear gently, "There are some things other than thieving I've picked up in the Rogue."

His eyes widened in surprise as he pulled away from her and stared into her glinting, mischievous eyes.

She reached up and kissed him quickly, refusing to let him intensify it, and he groaned in aggravation at the cruel game she played, "See?" she laughed delicately in his inner ear, stirring his senses.

"Don't do it," he warned, and her giggle made heat fly through his body.

"Don't do what?" she asked innocently as she slipped from under his arms and sat on his bed lightly.

He turned around to look at her as she leaned back invitingly. He stepped forward slowly, never moving his eyes from hers as he pushed her back onto the bed and lost the ability to speak, to breathe.

Yvenne groaned and rolled over when there was a knock at the door. She was about to get up and open it when a voice followed it, "Aiden? Aiden, you're going to be really late if you don't hurry up. Come on man!" the voice was Raoul's, and her stomach dropped. That's right…she blushed heavily still, despite the predicament she found herself in and pushed Aiden hard, knocking him from the bed and causing him to fall to the floor in a tangle of sheets. "Get up!" she hissed.

"Aiden? Are you even in there? Don't make me come in there!" Raoul called, and Aiden's eyes widened in shock. Yvenne gave him a 'Do something!' look, tilting her head to the door.

"Uh…I'll be right out Raoul," he called and jumped up, searching blindly for the clothes he was to wear to the dinner. Yvenne hid a giggle behind her hand and fell back into the covers, watching his every movement. He glared at her angrily as he tried to adjust his sword belt.

"Laugh it up chuckles," he whispered harshly, and she did so, gladly.

Aiden slipped out the door, running a hand through his hair, and Yvenne caught some of their conversation.

"Have you seen Yvenne by the way?" Raoul was asking. "Kel can't seem to find her anywhere, and last we knew she was with you."

"Uh…I'm sure she's around somewhere," Aiden responded, loud enough so she could hear and realize that she had a dinner to be at too. Fear gripped her. Her first big dinner as a squire and she was going to be late!

Quickly, she gathered up her clothes, threw them on, tried to fix her hair to no avail, and dashed out the door.

"Where have you been?" Kel was scolding her. "Rolling with the horses at pasture or what?"

Yvenne blushed fiercely, and Kel's eyes narrowed, only slightly, "I'm sorry My Lady," she bowed, but Kel only sighed and grabbed her hand.

"Come on, let's get you in some proper attire. I hope you know if Jonathan asks me why I'm late I'm going to blame it on you," she was chiding gently as she tossed clothes at her squire.

"For good reason," Yvenne responded, knowing full well that Kel would do nothing of the sort. She changed quickly, letting herself get lost in thoughts of what had taken place only hours ago. She couldn't believe after all the years of torment they were finally together. But then…she stopped. Were they really? Or was she just a bit of fun before he went home to get married and- she was not going to think about. He was here now and they were together, and that's all she was going to concern herself with for the moment. She resolved to this thinking before running a comb through her hair and dashing out.

"About time," Alanna scoffed as she met them. "Where have you been? We looked for you everywhere."

"Oh just…around…" she evaded, and Alanna gave Kel a curious look. Kel shrugged, and the three headed off to the dinner and the naming ceremony.

Yvenne could only beam with pride as Aiden was handed his shield and knighted. Yet, her mind couldn't help but bring her images, "But why am I a knight Yvenne? Just answer me that!" She stared at his parents curiously. They smiled warmly at their son and patted him on the back as if nothing was wrong, made toasts and congratulations in his honor, yet…his eyes troubled her.

"Yvenne," Kel hissed, and she jumped from her thoughts and turned her attention back to her duty.

"Sorry, My Lady," she mumbled.

"So he told you then?" Kel looked around the room, keeping her Yamani calm as Yvenne poured more wine.

"Yes, My Lady," she answered softly.

"We're not going to let it happen. Raoul will not see a talent like his wasted," Kel assured her, but she wasn't so sure.

"Thank you, My Lady."

Kel tried to take the look of distress off her face, and she thought it worked well enough until Dom whispered into her ear.

"I think you need to go back to the Yamanis; your masks are falling to shreds."

"Just to you," she retorted almost angrily, then nearly gasped. He laughed to himself, catching the slight changes in mood.

"I win."

"Touché," she responded gently, and he grinned at her and did a mock half bow.

Yvenne let her gaze wander to Aiden who seemed happy enough, except for those eyes…Her heart filled with worry for him. What would he do? Why would they do? She had never responded either. He had confessed his love for her, but she had never responded. She knew she loved him, yet, she hadn't said anything. Still, he didn't seem to notice when he took her. She blushed still, and he met her eyes briefly, like he knew the exact minute to catch her blushing.

He covered his grin by taking a sip of wine, and she turned away, back to her duties.

"I will get my official assignments in the morning," he fingered her lips gently before he kissed them.

She smiled and basked in his arms, "Mm?"

"Yeah," he laughed lightly when she stretched back to kiss him. He turned her around in his arms so she was facing him. "You should've waited another few weeks," he said softly, and she looked at him curiously.

"For what?" she inquired.

"To take a knight master," he responded coolly. "You could have waited, and then, no matter what, we'd have been together."

She gasped and pulled away a bit. She thought of the possibilities, but slowly came to shake her head, "No."

"What?" he grinned, but sobered when she stayed serious. "You're serious?"

"I've wanted to be Lady Keladry's squire my whole life," she answered solemnly. "I dreamt of the day that I could become a squire and prayed that it would be Lady Keladry who took me under her wing."

He laughed and kissed her nose gently, "I figured you'd say something like that."

She smiled and let out a sigh; she'd thought he would understand; yet…there was something still lingering in those eyes. There was something he wasn't telling her, "Do me a favor."

He looked at her curiously when she pulled back, "Anything."

"Stay there," she instructed, and he eyed her warily but nodded.

"Why? What are you planning?"

"Just stay there," she repeated and dug the crystal from out of her pocket.

"What's that?" he whispered, reaching out to touch it. "It's screaming of magic."

"Don't touch," she ordered, and he pulled back. "Now, stay still."

He did what she said, fearing to budge an inch with an instrument that powerful near him.

She closed her eyes and focused her magic through the crystal, but instead of just simply letting it go through, she concentrated hard on a question in her mind. What do his parents think of me?

Slowly, sweat began to appear on her brow, and it itched like mad, but she wouldn't break concentration to push it away. She forced herself to go on and slowly an image appeared to her:

"This could ruin everything!" his father was shouting angrily. "What are we supposed to tell the Lord of Coltsbrook?"

"I don't know dear," his mother replied softly. She seemed frail in her husband's anger, something he could easily break.

"He's been promised since birth! Coltsbrook is right on our doorstep; it could be the only thing that keeps our lands from ruin! Doesn't he have any sense of responsibility?"

"Don't you remember being in love?" she asked weakly.

"Things were different then!" he roared, and she cowered back, fear in her small blue eyes. Her husband approached, noticeably calmer. "I'm sorry to scare you. I just-I'm worried about him, about all of us. This could ruin everything, if word were to get out that…" he stopped and shuddered. "It just cannot happen. I don't care what he wants; he will be assigned to us in the morning and that will be that. We'll introduce him to his wife, and he'll forget all about that…thief."

The vision cleared, and she was left staring at him with anger and worry and sadness all in one. She jumped up from the bed and ran from the room; she was going to be sick.

A/n: I will definitely have more of this up ASAP, and it won't be too much longer, I swear to you! But please R&R even if just to yell at me about my lateness.