Chapter Nine:

Me and Myself

Sawyer sat beneath his new home on the beach. The sun coming up slowly. He could almost smell the sun rising. The heat was getting to him. He knew someone would try to con him into joining everyone else in the cave. He was use to being alone. He almost liked it that way. He didn't need anyone but himself to depend upon. He felt invincible. That all changed the minute he got shot. He always thought those people talking about their lives flashing before their eyes was complete nut jobs. Those people ain't right in the head. Sawyer was a simple man. He didn't believe in fate or destiny. He believed in luck. Was he lucky that he got shot? He probably would like to think it'd been worse if he didn't. That poor boy out in the jungle possibly being tortured. What's wrong with that boy? He shook his head, he didn't have many answers. But he did feel somewhat responsible. It was him who wanted to light the flare to begin with. The little boy just went along with him. If it wasn't for him, they may have already been home by now. Such a disappointment.

He picked up the sand that laid beneath his feet. He let the sand slide through his fingers. Coarse and rough, just like life. He sighed as he laid back against his tree. This is all I need. Me and my tree.

Though of course that wouldn't last long.

Charlie made his way through the jungle that was behind Sawyer.

"Great, another local." He scoffed seeing Charlie's body emerge. "So what'd I do now?"

Charlie looked down at Sawyer, "Jack said you might want to know, the girls awake. She's asking for you."

"Oh she is, is she?" He tried to act like he didn't care. "And what is she askin about me for?"

"I don't know, I was just sent here to--" He got cut off by Sawyer.

"Listen, messenger boy. Tell them if I wanted to care I'd be waiting around like a hungry eyed puppy in the caves. But seeing as I don't and I'm not. Don't bother with telling me these things."

"Kate said you'd say that."

"Oh she did, did she? Well I'm glad Kate knows me so well."

Charlie started off towards the jungle. He stopped at the edge where the sand met the Jungle. "She's going to be okay. She's up walking around, now."

"Then, why didn't she come tell me that herself?"

"I thought you didn't care."

He caught me. "I don't."

"If you say so." Charlie headed back to the caves leaving Sawyer alone.

Alone. As many companions as he's had he never felt complete. Or at all satisfied. Yes, the company was great. But the pain was still there. Sawyer, the man who was partially responsible for the death of his parents did this. He'd often wondered what kind of man he would've been if things would have been different. What if Sawyer didn't con his mother into sleeping with him. What if his father never shot himself and his wife. What if?

Sawyer always pictured himself possibly a high priced lawyer or doctor. Maybe that's why he showed so much hatred for Jack. He leads the life he wants but can never have. He's a con man. A vicious liar. He didn't like the man he was now. He didn't like the man he was becoming either.

Sawyer frantically looked through his pockets for any trace of a cigarette. I left them on the raft. He shook his head. "No damn cigarette." He grumbled before someone tossed him a pack.

"Here." It was Abigail. What is she doing here?

"What can I do for you peaches? Here to tell me all about your miserable life on the island because you got attacked? Gee suddenly I don't care."

"Why are you so hateful towards everyone?"

"Why not?"

She sighed pushing back a piece of her hair with a swoop of her hand.

"I see you're doing just fine."

"Yeah, thanks again for not visiting."

"Anytime. So darlin' I can't help but wonder what is it you want? You want to have another go with me? Another kiss?"

"I never got that kiss, remember?"

"Ah, yes. Come to beat the hell out of me 'cause of it?" He snickered. As he lit up his cigarette.

"Not exactly."

"Then what?"

"I thought that I could help you. Me and you Sawyer, we're a lot alike."

"We're nothing alike. And darlin' you're the only one I see 'round here that's needing some help. Well besides some of the other freaks 'round here."

"Is that so?"

"I believe it is." He smirked. "Now, if you don't mind." He paused, "Well actually I don't care if you do or not, I'm gonna get some sleep. Now leave." He leaned back against his tree.

"No, not without you explaining yourself."

"How many times do I have to try to get it through your pretty little noggin'? I don't need anybody's help, especially you."

She took a seat beside him in the sand. "I'm not leaving."

He grabbed her from behind and quickly pulled out the knife tucked in his boot, he placed it to her throat. "Recognize it?"

She looked down as best as she could. "That'd be mine right?"

He whispered in her ear. "Yep, ding ding ding, we have a winner." His warm breath blew against her ear.

She closed her eyes for a moment as he pressed the knife deeper on her skin. "Why don't you just do it Sawyer? Save us both the trouble."

He took the knife away from her throat. "Leave." He said lowering his eyes to the sand. She overstayed her welcome.

She took off running. He figured back to the caves with the rest of the survivors. "Now for that nap."