A/n: Well, this absolutely, completely and totally not edited in any way, shape or form. Man, I've had a tough couple weeks with trying to finish up summer assignments before the new school year, and they've thrown me into things as soon as school's started up. I can't believe I even got to finish this chapter to be honest, but I knew if I did that means I would be finished with this story... I hope it wasn't too disappointing, and if you have any requests I'd be happy to take them in the future when I have time...which might not be for awhile...but still throw them out there, never know when I get a break...

Chapter Eighteen

To Pass the Test

Yvenne felt something lurch beneath her, and the chamber doors opened.

Refusing to let the opportunity pass her by, she sprawled out and immediately crumpled to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably, in joy, in confusion, in anger and fear. Every emotion that she'd ever had ran through her all at once as Kel pulled her into her arms and helped her up. Yvenne looked up at her knight master and another round of crying began. She whimpered slightly when they pulled her up, afraid she might just fall down, but Kel was strong and easily supported her tiny weight.

"It's okay," Kel soothed, "You're out. Yvenne, you're out, and you're a Knight of Tortall now."

Yvenne broke down crying again, and wouldn't have stopped, except that Aiden rushed up to her and grabbed her left hand, the one that wasn't draped around Kel's shoulder. The fear and relief reflected in his every feature was almost too much to bear, and she reached up with her spare hand and felt every curve in his face, just to make sure he was real, and alive, "Aiden," she choked on the name before sobs racked her body, and Kel began to drag her away.

Alanna squealed happily and jumped up and down with Kel like they were schoolchildren, "Goddess be praised!" Alanna shouted, and it was followed by another burst of excited giggles.

"Now what, may I ask, is going on in here?" George demanded as he walked into the parlor he and Alanna shared. After Kel had dropped Yvenne off and her former squire had falleninto a much needed sleep, she'd returned to speak with Alanna, though they hadn't gotten much speaking done since she'd arrived. Most of what they said came out in elated giggles, squeals, shrieks and other forms of incoherent babble.

"That is something I must admit I never thought I'd see," George added, pointing at Kel who had a broad grin on her face and was unsuccessfully suppressing her giggles.

"Shove it, George, this is a girl's only party and you're not one, so I suggest you get out," Alanna replied curtly, and he laughed and shook his head at his wife.

"Thank Mithros for that," he commented dryly, and exited, muttering to himself, "married for how long, and she still hasn't learned to act her age!"

Alanna stuck her tongue out after him, and Kel laughed and nodded her agreement, "Men," they both grumbled in unison, and then burst out into another fit of laughter.

"Goddess," Alanna grinned when they had finally calmed down some, "I never thought…I mean, when I saw you, I thought to myself, now, there's a girl who can handle herself. And your parents were perfect for the task of raising a female warrior. But when I saw Yvenne, I didn't think she'd do it. I honestly didn't. And now, wow…she's small, beautiful, and a commoner! All titles restored and everything, she belongs to the Rogue then and always. Maybe this will finally convince someone, and by someone I mean the staunch conservatives and their pawn that is King, that there are those who aren't nobles that are able to hold their own with high society," Alanna's face wrinkled in disgust for only a moment before her joy overwhelmed her again, and she smiled.

Kel laughed, still amazed at Alanna's brave words, and the idea that she knew she told Jon the same thing all the time, "Well, I think Yvenne and Aiden's marriage might have some say in all this too," she admitted. "Think of it, Coltsbrook, Amherst and Stone Mountain all belong to her now, three of the most ornery conservative fiefs out there; yet, I somehow doubt they'll be staying that way, and united with Greenshire, they'll be a powerful force that neither Jon nor the conservatives will want to deal with."

Alanna nodded her agreement, "And I'd have to say I couldn't imagine anyone better suited to the job than that gosling of yours."

"Well," Kel grinned, "I suppose she's not a gosling anymore. She's a full-fledged swan now."

Alanna quickly concurred, "And it's finally time for her to join the flock."

"Lovely," Aiden pushed her hair away from her face, staring in horror at the sweat that glistened against her neck while she whimpered. "Yvenne, Yvenne!" Frantically, he grabbed her shoulders and wrenched her up, shaking her desperately, while slowly, painfully slowly, her eyes opened and slipped into coherence. She stared at him for a long time, as if trying to discern who he was, and only when recognition moved into her eyes did he let her go,sagging back onto the bed. "Yvenne? Are you all right?"

She curled into a fetal position and closed her eyes again, nodding weakly.

"No you're not, talk to me, do you even know who I am?"

She nodded again and looked up into his trembling eyes, but she didn't even try to smile, the darkness consumed her, so she was sure she would never smile again. How could he do that to the country? Didn't he have any sense of duty at all? Didn't he have…He didn't do that Yvenne, something sane reminded her, and she nodded to it, causing Aiden's brows to crease even further. Her whole body was so weak she could barely put the effort into lifting her chest to breathe, and the images haunted her. How could anyone do that? There was too much bad in the world; she was nothing, she was one little girl, she could never change it all. Where would she begin? She would waste herself away trying to fix it all, and it still wouldn't even be a dent in the real problems. Why should she even try? Why shouldn't she just lie here and die?

"Yvenne, love, come back to me," Aiden's voice tore her from the dark, and she looked up at him. Right, Aiden… she told herself, he needs me…I don't want to be needed; I've always been needed, why can't I need someone for once?

"Stay here, don't move, I'm going to get Kel," Aiden stood in one swift, graceful motion, and Yvenne wanted to protest, but she couldn't lift her hand to stop him. Fine, she told herself drowsily, I'll just tell them when they get here that I don't need help…

Aiden took one last look at Yvenne before sprinting out the door, off to find help as quickly as possible. There was something seriously wrong, this was more than the effects of the Chamber; Yvenne's mind was somehow feeding on itself.

"Kel, you have to come quickly," Aiden burst through Kel's door, and she and Alanna immediately stopped their joyous conversation. One glance at the sheer terror on Aiden's face told them more than they ever wanted to know.

"Where is she?" Alanna demanded immediately.

"What's wrong?" Kel's commanding voice almost stopped Aiden in his tracks, both women had taken on their serious,stonyfaces, Alanna's allowing a hint more worry than Kel's, but Aiden could see the strain in their rigid stances as they both rose.

"In her room, and I don't know," Aiden answered as quickly as he could, leading the way for the two women. "She just…she's not speaking, she's curled up on her bed, sweating and whimpering. I can't get her to come out of it, I don't even know if she hears me. What could be wrong?" his words were high pitched and rapid, and Alanna placed a fragile hand on his shoulder and shook her head.

"I don't know, but don't worry, we'll get her back," but the creases in her mouth, and the way her brow furrowed didn't assure him any.

"We can't afford to lose her," Kel countered as they strode through the halls, Alanna almost skipping to keep up with the long strides of Kel and Aiden. "Not now," Kel whispered to herself while thoughts swirled around in her mind. What was wrong with her protégé? And more importantly, what could she do for herthat Aiden could not?

"Yvenne?" she could hear Tobe's voice through the darkness, tearing at the dreams as if they were paper, his crisp, yet secretive voice piercing the emptiness that lived inside her soul. She felt his every whisper of a move as he crept toward her bed and hesitated there, hovering just above her, so she could smell the scent of his horses on him, reminding her what it was to be alive. She smiled inwardly, but couldn't pull herself from the emptiness. Aiden…the thought resounded in her mind. What was she going to do about Aiden? "Yvenne, come on," the slight begging in Tobe's words traced shivers up and down her body that she quickly vanished as a sick feeling rose in her stomach. Aiden!

"T-Tobe?" she stuttered, and that was it. Tobe, unable to take the faint voice of the strongest warrior he'd ever known, collapsed beside her, running his hands up and down her arms as he would an injured or frightened horse, trying to soothe her, remind her that she was okay, she was still intact. For a moment, his magic reached out and stroked hers quietly, carefully, but then he recalled it, fearing what it might give away.

Slowly, delicately, her eyes fluttered open, so she could meet Tobe's beautiful bright eyes, filled with concern, but a strange and welcome confidence, "It is you," she mumbled, and he nodded.

"I saw you when you came out, I thought maybe you'd want some company, but if you don't, I'll leave," now that she was conscious, he was unsure if she'd think he was overstepping his bounds as her friend and removed his hands from her arms as if she was on fire, glancing toward the door like a frightened colt, eyes almost rolling with some unknown terror.

"No," she slipped before she could stop herself. "Stay, please, I don't think I want to be alone."

"All right," he mumbled, and she pulled herself up into a sitting position, leaning against the wall and pulling her arms around her legs, setting her head in her hands. Tobe carefully sat beside her, watching her hesitantly, wondering who should be the first to speak. Fortunately, he didn't have long to wait, because she broke down, sobbing into her hands, her hair covering her trembling form.

"It was awful," she whispered in between sobs thatalmost shook the bed with their intensity. "I…how could he do that? Why would he do that? I'm nothing, I don't deserve to be loved like that!"

Tobe's eyes flashed angrily, but she wasn't looking, so she couldn't catch it, "Don't say that," he whispered heatedly. "You're more than worth it."

"You don't know!" she screamed at him, throwing her head up, but when she caught his eyes, all the fire washed out of her, so she had to break down again, because he met her glance for glance, overpowering her with his eyes and his silence, proving to her with nothing but his look that she was worth it.

"No, Yvenne, I'm afraid you don't know it," he murmured, and she looked at him, tilting her head to one side. "How are you supposed to? You can't see yourself from the outside, the standards you set are based on previous performance; you make it so you can't live up to yourself. You'll never be good enough for yourself, but you're more than enough for everyone else."

Yvenne's words stuck in her throat as another onset of tears threatened to spill over, and her body heated again, so she had to force the feelings back. Something in her told her that if she reached over and touched him, he wouldn't shy away, and she wondered if he knew it too. I can't, she told herself, the kingdom needs me to make an alliance with Aiden. She stopped the thought, I love Aiden. I don't even know Tobe, but… her eyes ran over his deeply muscled body and dark hair sheltering secretive light eyes. He's just a boy… No, when I met him he was a boy, he's grown into a man since then.

"Yvenne…" Tobe stopped, as if the name tasted odd and sweet on his tongue, and Yvenne wanted to reach forward and show him how sweet she could be. He would protect her, he always had.

"Yvenne, I've brought Ke…" Aiden's eyes filled in shock when he saw Yvenne sitting up, staring intently at Tobe, who had his hands open as if in confession. Kel, from behind Aiden stared straight forward as if neither was even there, and Alanna barely masked a chuckle behind her hand.

"Aiden," Yvenne looked up and mustered the warmest smile she could find inside her cold heart. He would take something so precious as his life? Was that noble? Was that a fighter? She silenced the angry growls inside her and brought to mind the warm touch and gentle caress, the way he'd taken care of her through her page years and stuck with her through both their days as squires; he was always there, always loyal, never faltering, like most men faltered. It was rare, she knew she wouldn't find it twice, and she wouldn't throw it away because of some girlish feelings for a pretty face. Squaring her shoulders mentally, she braved what was to come, but Tobe simply stood heavily, as if he was four times his actual age, murmured something inaudible to Yvenne that she nodded at even though she didn't hear it, and exited just as quietly and unobtrusively as he'd come.

"Well," Aiden's voice was stiffly formal, and it put a different chill in her heart, and it was only when fear leapt into her cold body that she realized she still did love him, despite any feelings she might have for Tobe. She didn't want to lose him; there was nothing that would tear them apart. "Good to see you're up; I guess the act paid off for you."

"Act?" her eyes narrowed, and her old anger sprung up inside her. "What act?"

"If you wanted him all along I would rather you have told me!" Aiden shouted, and Kel and Alanna took the moment of distraction to slip out, shutting the door quietly behind them, though, even if they'd slammed it, it wouldn't have been heard over the cacophony of shouts in the room.

Kel strode down to the stables and found Tobe sitting on a haybale, stroking the mane of a particularly beautiful Clydesdale mare that had her head buried in his lap, eating the hay from between his legs, "Hey."

"Hi," Tobe answered darkly, not even looking up at her. "Nothing was going on, you should know that before you reprimand me."

Kel laughed softly, "You think I'm here to scold you?"

Tobe turned his eyes upward, and Kel took a seat sitting cross legged across from his hay bale, tickling the mare's nose with a loose straw, causing the horse to look up and snort at her before moving back to its meal. A small smile escaped Tobe's lips, and Kel guessed the horse had just made a nasty comment about her stunt. She grinned in response, and used the moment's good humor to begin.

"You set your sights high when you went for her."

Tobe shook his head swiftly, "I would never," he started, then stopped and bit his bottom lip, "There was a time...an infatuation, I guess there still is. But I would never, I know she loves Aiden, and it used to infuriate me, but I only want what she wants, and I know that I'm not more than a friend in her eyes. That's all that matters to me, being her friend. I can live with that, I wouldn't want to see her hurt Aiden; he's a good man, they deserve one another."

Kel's words fell out of her mouth, because the words he spoke was everything she was about to tell him. He'd grown so much, and somewhere she'd missed it all.

"There's a saying in the Rogue, 'Better a friend than a lover, a friend lasts longer,'" Tobe smiled at Kel's astounded face before she quickly masked it. "Dom's breaking you down," he pointed out, and bit her cheeks to keep from glaring.

"Neither here nor there," she couldn't help but let a little snap break through in her speech before she continued, softer. "I'm glad to hear you say that Tobe, not only for your sake, but for Yvenne's as well. She's about to make a decision in there, and I want you both to be satisifed with it, whatever it is. Her head needs to be on the ground, and for it to be, she can't have burdens like this haunting her."

Tobe nodded, "I agree, and quite frankly, if she were to try and ruin anything with Aiden, I would personally be the first person to tell her she's a bloody fool and order her to beg him to take her back. I can't imagine two people more suited for one another; I certainly couldn't balance out that temper!"

Kel laughed and clapped his shoulder, gazing into his eyes, and the genuine smile he sent her only further convinced her of how much he'd grown, "You are going to make someone very happy someday Tobe."

He smiled, a small blush lighting on his cheeks and thanked her, "I certainly hope that's not for a very long time though, women," he teased, and she knocked him backward, so his legs went flying over the haybale, but with a word, the Clydesdale sidestepped, knocking her full weight into Kel who went flying into a haybale of her own, both laughing the whole way.

"What are you talking about Aiden?" Yvenne screamed, standing up and facing him, forcing herself to keep her eyes on his and not the sword that was dangling freely at his side, making herself concentrate on his face, his flushed and furious face, not the pale and dead one that was flickering in her memory.

"Please!" he scoffed, throwing up his nimble hands, as if exasperated. "You wanted me to leave so you could have him alone, that's the way of it, and I know it!"

"You're an idiot," Yvenne growled, "A jealous, idiotic man, like all the rest of them."

Aiden laughed sardonically and crossed his arms over his chest, "I see the way you look at him, the way he looks at you. I would only be an idiot if I went on pretending it wasn't there. I thought that I would trust you when I saw you two together in the stables that day, but I guess I was wrong to have put that much faith in you!"

"Faith?" Yvenne's control broke down, all the thoughts of waterfalls and falling leaves wouldn't have stopped the onslaught of words that was about to explode from her, "You want to talk about faith? Aiden, have you ever had faith in me? You didn't even think I'd get out of the Chamber alive! And the minute I turned a little squeamish you ran to find Kel and Alanna, thinking that I was going to die, that I was going to fail you all after all. You didn't think I could handle it? You didn't think I could cope? Do you remember coming out of that Chamber? I do! I remember you asking me why you were a knight, you being lost and confused, alone, I remember…" then it was gone, as quickly as it'd come, it was gone. She couldn't yell at him anymore, she didn't have the energy. If he didn't trust her with this thing, then there was no hope for them; if he didn't believe that she was loyal, then there was too much suspicion in their relationship for her to try anymore.

Aiden froze, and an eternity passed between them while he chewed on her words and her reaction, and most importantly, her sudden halt, "You didn't, did you?"

She shook her head, and he nodded.

"I'm sorry, I got carried away; I promise not to doubt you again."

Yvenne closed her eyes and tried to think how many times they'd been here, Aiden defeated, her broken and them both wanting nothing more than to reconcile. Every time it'd been easy, but…she had her shield, she had her freedom, her titles, she had everything she'd ever wanted out of life, and for a minute she was able to breathe and stop and wonder what she wanted out of her love life. "We can't get married right away," as the conclusion came to her she realized the severity of the statement by the astounded look on Aiden's face.

"What?" he whispered as the color drained out of his skin. "You, I love you Yvenne, more than anything, and your titles, and Jonathan will be expecting, and…" he had a million reasons for them to be married, and she knew there were a million reasons, but one of them, wasn't I want to get married, and she suddenly knew if that wasn't first and foremost in her mind she couldn't do it. Her whole life she'd been living someone else's dream, and now that she'd achieved what she'd set out to achieve, she had to focus on her own. Still, it'd been so long since she'd had her own dream that she wasn't sure what they were anymore. She'd once been termed a dreamer of sorts, Kel had evengone so far as to confess she didn't think Yvenne would ever become a knight because of her quickly romanticized thoughts, yet, here she was. She thought of the note written in Rispah's handwriting, lying in her chest with the beautiful dress she'd once worn to trick the man standing in front of her, Don't forget your roots. Somewhere along the way she had, and now was the time in her life that she had to recover them.

"I love you Aiden," she put a soft hand to his cheek, and he leaned into the embrace. "More than anything or anyoneI've ever loved in my life. You've been there from the beginning, and I want you to be there until the end, but I'm not sure who I am anymore. What that thing reminded me of, was that I'm from a spotted past, and I think I need to take some time to put all those pieces into one being, so I can be one Yvenne, not multiple pieces. I know I'm asking a lot, and I certainly don't want to break the engagement, I just don't want to be forced into another mold. I want to be…free, for awhile. Not free from you, just free from society's expectations. My feelings are rebelling in ways that I don't care for them to rebel in; I'd prefer to control them, and I can't without havingthe freedom I'm craving.You can understand, please, say you can." When she looked up into his eyes she realized her whole future dangled on his next words, and the thought made her squirm under his contemplation. As much as she despised the thought that he couldn't live without her, she knew she couldn't live without him either, and it frightened her that she might be forced to, scared her to death to think that she might not be able to, that she might turn into the person she'd despised in the Chamber.

"Well," he sighed and brought her into his arms, "I suppose I've waited this long, another few years won't make any difference."

She grinned and kissed him hungrily, and the fire sprang inside her once more, so she knew she'd made the right decision, and in the end, things would work out, she had no doubt about that. She'd finally passed, and that night, she'd sit in the banquet hall and receive her shield and then everyone would finally know, girls can make it, no matter how small or from what background. Yet, she also knew that even though the major test was over, she'd be watched, and a slip up could hurt just as badly now as it ever had, and there would be others after her that would be watched just as closely. Still, Kel was right when she said that their little club was slowly growing, and Yvenne prayed that she would live to see it become more than little.

For now, she was going to live in the moment and bask in the arms of the love she'd almost forgotten butswiftlyremembered and the freedom she'd finally earned, and slowly, the light of the future and the hope that glowed fiercely inside her burned away the darkness the Chamber had left upon her and only the haunted memories remained, distant warnings for what could be, careful reminders to her that she had to keep her feet on the ground and her mind in the game, but that's all they were, reminders, warnings. Even without a crystal, she could read her own future, and it looked glorious.

A/n: Well...that's a wrap folks! I hope you enjoyed;I really enjoyed writing it, and I hope I didn't disappoint anyone too too much. I probably could have gone on for another fifteen chapters, but I just don't have the time, and I didn't want you to have to wait all year and forget this story existed. So here it is, the end, the finale.

Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed, reading the reviews really made my days and made me keep writing, I don't know what I would do without the constant stream of encouragement and suggestions, and just because this story is over doesn't mean that has to stop! I'm always up for suggestions, either in reviews or emails. I'd like to thank everyone individually, but if I did that I would probably go on and on for pages about how fabulous you all are, and I'm not sure my computer could handle the upload! . Well anyway, I think I'm going to stop praising you now, your heads might get so big you think it's beyond you to review bows to readers. Thanks again! I love you all!

Pegasus