A/N: Yes, it's been thirty and a half million years since I updated, but I want to get this finished. Yes, I did say finished. Just thought I'd let y'all know that this takes place some weeks in the future. And I'm going to beg y'all shamelessly to visit my homepage (accessible on the homepage link in my profile).

I don't know about review responses, I have so few reviews it wouldn't matter anyway, but if I do get removed, the fic will be finished anyway so it won't matter.

Beverly Vulcan Princess-You don't care about anyone's sanity. Especially mine. Wait. I have sanity?

Blackfire-Yay, someone around me besides that annoying girl in the mirror isn't confused by this fic! Woot! (does happy dance)

O.o

The redheaded cadet flounced into his office, making the formidable colonel blink in an extremely confused manner. Wait. I thought she was on that weird planet with her Mother Dearest, not back at base. "Abby?" he asked.

"Now, now, sir, you are supposed to avoid extreme familiarity with the cadets, and only refer to them by their rank and last name."

Yep, it was definitely Abby.

"Cadet," Jack said, acting like the word was hurting his teeth (although it may have just been the way he was grinding them together). "Are you not on your home planet with your mother as you have been for the past several weeks?" he asked with exaggerated formality.

Abby looked blank. "Home planet, sir? I'm from, Mentone a town in Alabama. My mom lives there too. Alabama might seem like another planet to a mid-westerner like you, but it's really part of the Earth, not P7G-692 or wherever you've sent SG-1 this week."

Jack gritted his teeth. Even after weeks on an alien planet—her home, he had to keep reminding himself—she still couldn't resist rubbing his nose in the fact that she knew everything about one of the most secret projects in the government. "Cadet. You're lying and I know you are. You know all about what happened at the SGC a few weeks ago. Quit trying to give me the bag before I'm not a happy camper anymore."

"I seriously don't know what you're talking about, sir."

Jack spent the next three hours trying to convince her that she did know what he was talking about, sir.

O.o

Abby sat in her quarters, reading Alanna: the First Adventure by Tamora Pierce. It was a book she'd read many times, but she still liked it. Out of the whole quartet, this was her favorite book. She figured it was because it was the only one where Alanna didn't have a lover. Whatever, she thought. The colonel was acting really weird today. And he didn't even yell at me for lecturing him about the Stargate again. I wonder if he's on a new medication or something. She shrugged and returned to her book.

O.o

Jack sat, at his office, thinking. What is up with this? It's like she had her memory wiped…or this whole thing really never happened. He went back through the interview, play by play, knowing there was something significant he was missing. That's it! Jack exclaimed mentally. What he had deduced was that Abby's hair had remained the exact same color of red and the exact same length and the exact same style for the entire time.

O.o

The end…or is it?

O.o

A/N: I know y'all are fixing to kill me, but if you love me (platonically) and lavish me with reviews, then I might write a sequel. Maybe. Well, bye. It's been nice knowing all of you.