Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. They belong to J.K. Rowling. I'm not making any money from this in any way.
Slash of the male/male kind will eventually be appearing in this story. If you don't like slash, or the idea of Harry/Severus, then please leave. Don't read what you don't like.
I dedicate this story to DT – for pushing, pulling and prodding me into it.
Once again – Thanks to everybody who reviewed my last chapter. I know that this has been a long in the coming and I apologise for that. Your reviews are what eventually motivated me to keep on continuing. Sorry that this chapter may be a bit short, but you can think of it as the second interlude – whatever makes you happy.
Note: Ok – due to having rushed to put this chapter up it has come to my attention I made a mistake with Professor Young calling Harry by his real name instead of Jamari. My apologises and many thank to crudedly and Lilith who pointed it out to me. And thanks to everybody else who has already reviewed this chapter. Another one should be up soon.
Chapter Five
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But at least Professor Young didn't talk to me.
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This woman never stops talking. If it's not about the off-the shoulder top - what is that anyway - then it's about the right height of heels to wear with different length pants. Bloody hell. I'm glad it's Potter she's attacking not me.
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Kill me now. Whoever invented high heels was a very sad and sadistic person. Even if they do make your calves look terrific and give you extra height and make that awesome click-click noise on wooden or stone floors – bloody hell – It's bad enough that I'm dressing as a woman – but now I'm starting to think like one as well.
Though I never in the world imagined that Professor Young would be like this. She's a… What's the word Hermione uses when referring to Lavender… shopaholic. Professor Young is a shopaholic. They have classes and help centres for people with this condition don't they? Because when it comes to Christmas, or her birthday, whichever one is first, I'm booking her in.
Wait up – do wizards even class shopaholicism as a serious mental disease? Damn!
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This is just too amusing. I can't help but let out a snigger at his face. The only thing keeping me awake is watching him being dragged around. This is enough payback for the cross-dressing innuendo. But of course if I have a chance to do something else really nasty to him then I'll have to take up the opportunity.
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Terrific. I'm getting dragged towards another store by Professor Young. We've already been to about thirty – and that's not including magical ones. But there's something a bit different about this one. There are posters guys and male clothing. Finally – some normal, decent clothing.
I start to head towards the men's section. Out of the corner of my eyes I see Snape standing behind Professor Young who has a confused expression on her face. Snape's shaking head and gesturing for me to come back.
Damn it! How am I going to explain this to Professor Young? I must have looked really excited about the male clothing considering Young's face. An evil grim curves my lips upwards and I direct it towards Snape. I know how to get out of this. He lifts an eyebrow in question and I continue further into the male clothing section.
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Humph. Potter really does have to watch what he's doing. When we get back I'm lying a few ground rules – like always do what I tell you to do. Stupid boy – practically skipping towards the men's section. Sigh. Young probably thinks he's deranged now – not that she would be wrong – but she would be thinking it from the wrong reason.
And what was with that look Potter just gave me. If he's planning something…
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Professor Young glided up to me and looked uncertainly around, "Jamari, don't you think that you're in the wrong section."
I smile politely to her and gesture towards Snape who was starting to look decidedly uncomfortable. "I felt sorry for Severus. I was having so much fun shopping with you," I watched the woman's eye light up; whoa she is really enjoying spending time with me. I continued on, "that I wanted Severus to join in as well." Professor Young gave me a startled look for a second then a gleam appeared in her eyes.
"That's very kind of you Jamari to think about Severus. Why don't I take care of him and you finish of your last piece of shopping." She hands me a crumpled list and then quickly makes her way towards Snape.
Good luck Snape. I have been on the receiving end of that gleam for a whole day. Let's see how you cope.
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Oh Gods. Young is striding towards me. I bet this has something to do with Potter being in the men's section. If he's told her about the glamour…
Wait up – she has a sparkle in her eyes. And she's intent upon me. I've seen that gleam inflicted upon Potter all day – and I don't like how it's looking towards me now. Would it be too obvious if I ran now? Sigh. Too late now.
Damn Potter to hell. This must have been what he and Young were talking about. And the evil grin. Damn him. Damn him. Damn him.
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Watching Snape look flustered is almost worth having been shopping all day. I mean he looks positively scared. Obviously he has recognised that gleam in Professor Young's eyes. I really can't help but snigger.
Now – back to business. The last items on the list. Bras and underwear. Thank god Snape won't be loitering around when I have to do this – it will be embarrassing enough as it is.
Sigh. Slowly I move my feet in the direction of the lingerie section.
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Gods does this woman ever stop. I am going to kill Potter – Voldemort and undercover agent be damned!
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Unshrunken the pile of shopping bags and boxes looks like there's enough clothing to clothe a small army sitting in the middle of my lounge room. I can't believe that Potter bought so much clothing. But I suppose to fair he doesn't know a thing about female fashions – and he did have Young there who was using him as her play-doll.
And me in the end as well. I believe that I tired on most of the men's department before I escaped her clutches by promising to buy everything I had already tried on that she thought looked good on me.
And I told her that I would wear one of the new shirts to dinner tonight. What have I gotten myself into? On decent talking terms with another colleague. And she thinks that, and I'm using her exact words, "Jamari is absolute darling. So adorable. It's like she's never been on a shopping trip before…" I really had to bite my tongue from saying anything or laughing.
Tiredly I stand up from the seat, and slowly stretch out my back and legs, while glancing towards Potter asleep on the couch. He may be taking up the whole of my favourite seat – but at least he's not talking.
I suppose that I should put away all of the clothing so that there is room to move around on the floor. Bloody bags.
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Mumph. Comfy seat. Really don't want to move. Except that there's the sound of lots of things whizzing through the air. That's a bit disconcerting. Slowly I open my eyes.
Snape is standing in the middle of the lounge room. His sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his hair whipping around in the wind. Eh? What are those things flying around the room then? The majority is travelling into my room, while some separate and move into Snape's room.
When a shoe flies just past my head and into my room, I can't help but yelp. Snape turns around surprised at the sound, but send the rest of the clothes to their destination.
He regards me with a lengthy stare; "You should get dressed for dinner Potter. We'll be leaving here in thirty minutes. Dumbledore wants to present you to the school tonight as one of my closest friends – so please try and look at least half way decent." He turns on his heel and stalks into his room.
Gee – what's made him so bloody cranky all of a sudden? I mean I haven't done much except suggest to Professor Young that he cross-dress and set her loose on him in the store… Perhaps that was it.
Shrugging I move into my room to get ready for my first appearance to the population of Hogwarts.
Perhaps I'll try and put some eyeliner on for it.
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