Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. They belong to J.K. Rowling. I'm not making any money from this in any way.

Slash of the male/male kind will eventually be appearing in this story. If you don't like slash, or the idea of Harry/Severus, then please leave. Don't read what you don't like.

I dedicate this story to DT – for pushing, pulling and prodding me into it.

Once again – Thanks to everybody who reviewed my last chapter.

I apologise for taking so long to get this chapter out – but RL has been really busy and to be honest, I didn't have any ideas with it. Please make any suggestions as to what should come next.

Chapter Seven

But… Malfoy… Gee - I always thought he was gay.

It's hard to believe it's a week since I've been like this. I can't lie to myself; wearing female clothing is not as bad as I first thought. Especially since I got to pick them out – and even I must agree with Margaret that I look, and these are her words "hot as the Mexican sand with extra chilli added." I thought that was very sweet of her.

Of course Snape sniggered when he heard that. Damn Snape.

I seethe over the latest thing Snape did.

He did it even though we've been getting on tolerably well. He still insults my intelligence – but only while we are within his quarters, which is a vast improvement than before. Though come to think of it, I am masquerading as his friend so he has to treat me right.

But Malfoy.

Ewww…

I scrub my skin harder with the loafer. What on earth possessed Snape to do that to me?

Flashback

Gods, watching Malfoy drool over Potter is disgusting. I've had to keep myself from taking points for it. Shudder. He can't stop watching him. Even the other Slytherins are getting sick of it. I can tell from the way they sit slightly away from him while eating.

Hrmm…

Perhaps it would be amusing to see Potter working with Malfoy and how he copes with Malfoy fawning over him. I can't help but snigger. And this will get back at Potter for the stunt he pulled with Professor Young in the clothing store.

This will teach him for showing one of my colleagues I'm not a total cruel heartless bastard.

"Jamari, I was wondering whether you could help Mr. Malfoy with his potion today. It's a highly delicate one which heightens the senses."

I look up at Snape from where I sit reading in the corner. He's asking me to help? With his Specialist Advanced Seventh Grade Potions class. Is something wrong with him? I wonder if he's sick?

Ok – maybe he's heard the gossip also about why one of his best friends who is apparently also a Master in Potions isn't actually doing anything to help in his class. Hesitantly I stand up. That is a reasonable excuse after all…

But Malfoy. Snape has seen the way Malfoy has been looking at me. Bluntly – while amusing at first, it's now sort of disturbing. Some of the other professors have commented on it as well. Ok then – act normal. Act like you know what you're doing. Act aloft. Remember he doesn't know that you're Harry Potter. He thinks you're the beautiful and tasteful Jamari Paton.

One step after the next. Straight back. Oozing elegance and knowledge.

Finally I reach Malfoy's desk. He scoots over so I can stand next to him in front of the cauldron.

"Are you going to start or not?" I question the blonde.

He looks stunned that I would be so blunt, "Umm…" blushing red, "Sorry, but aren't you meant to help?"

"I don't think that Professor Snape wanted me to do the potion for you, just watch and make sure you're doing it correctly." I look down my nose Malfoy. He's bright pink by now. If only I could rub this in a bit – or tell Hermione and Ron…

Hold back the smirk. Hold back the smirk. "Are you meant to know this potion?"

Malfoy nods. I scan for the textbook and pick it up. It's open on the right page. "Ok – you can start now." Glancing through the ingredients and procedure – I can do this. Just make sure he's following the recipe correctly.

This shouldn't be too hard at all.

Bloody hell.

Potter didn't even put up a fight. He is even acting like he knows what Draco is doing. I must compliment Potter on his acting skills sometime later. Of course I'll have to turn it into an insult sometime – can't have Potter thinking that he's actually good at something.

Potter is handling Malfoy very well. Surprisingly.

"Sorry, Professor Paton…"

I look up from my book, my eyes locking with Malfoy's. "Just Miss Paton," I smoothly cut in, "I do not teach, so I am not a Professor." Malfoy nodded and fiddled with the flame under his cauldron a bit.

"Miss Paton, I have finished adding the first amount of ingredients." I raise my eyebrow. Oh dear – how terribly Snape of me. "So now I have to wait twenty minutes till adding the final ingredients."

And what does that have to do with me. Damn. He's looking at me again. No – not looking, staring.

"Yes Mr. Malfoy, I know that. Why are you telling me?"

Inwardly I laugh. Malfoy is blushing again and stuttering, "Well… Well I thought that we could talk during the twenty minutes," he offers up hesitantly. Talk. For twenty minutes with Malfoy. Ha. What a joke.

Right. Harry – do not laugh in his face. Keep that cool and aloft image. "And why would I want to do that with you Mr. Malfoy?" Hee. It's sort of fun messing with Malfoy in this way.

Once again the stuttering. Who ever would have thought that Malfoy isn't anything but an ice prince? Actually he's sort of cute when he's blushing and glancing between the floor and me.

Gack!

I can't believe I just said that. Shudder. How gross…

That's worse than thinking of Snape in that way.

Perhaps dressing as a female is affecting me more than I thought so. It must be the heels.

Surprisingly there haven't been any wand waving and harsh words between Malfoy and Potter. Strange.

I look over to where Malfoy's desk was and see him blushing and studying the ground. What! Malfoy never blushes. I didn't even know Malfoys could blush. Lucius sure as hell never blushed. No matter what he saw or did.

Stalking over towards them I hear Potter smooth, "And why would I want to do that with you Mr. Malfoy?"

What the?! Did Malfoy just preposition Potter? That is wrong on so many levels despite the fact he doesn't know its Potter. Potter is acting as his friend. Malfoy just propositioned his apparent friend with sex. The nerve of that little rat. If anyone was going to proposition Potter for sex it would be me…

Startled I stop. Where did that thought come from. He does look deliciously good in female clothing. Better even than the female image…

Malfoy is going to answer me. I wonder what he has to say. I wonder if I can mess with his head even more. I'll have to think on that more later tonight. Maybe write a bit of a list "101 ways to torture Malfoy while being Jamari Paton". Hee. How amusing. Snape would burn me to a crisp if he found it. It would be worth messing with Malfoys mind like that though…

A loud bang brought me out of my thoughts. That can't be good.

I look and find that Malfoy and Potter are covered in bright pink goo.

Damn.

Bright pink sloppy goopy stuff. It's all over me. Ruining my clothing.

I am going to get Malfoy back for this. Big Time. Somehow.

"Mr. Malfoy. Miss Paton. What happened here?" Turning slowly I find that Snape is behind me. Ever so slowly I raise one eyebrow – a perfect mimic of the expression he is wearing. "Mr. Malfoy was so busy attempting to engage in conversation that he forgot about his potion."

Slowly I turn back towards Malfoy. His mouth is slightly open, and the pink goopy stuff is all through his hair. Though it's also through mine. Yuk. But still – I wish I had a camera. "I think you've learnt an important lesson about concentrating solely on your potion, Mr. Malfoy."

I have to stifle back a laugh. Who could have though Potter could turn the tables to his advantage so quickly like that? How very Slytherin of him.

"Well, Mr. Malfoy for your lack of attention, you must clean this mess up and re-do the potion next lesson, while explaining what each ingredient's properties are and how it reacts within the potion. Do I make myself clear Mr. Malfoy?"

The boy nodded. Pink goo slowly trickled down his neck. It's times like this I wish I could just laugh and laugh and laugh. Or take a photo.

Turning to Potter, "Miss Paton, you might want to go and clean yourself up before dinner."

End Flashback

This goop just won't get out of my hair. Or at least not with this shampoo. I frown. I suppose I'll have to use my old shampoo. No dirt, food or slime could withstand that shampoo.

Sighing I turn off my shower and step out, wrapping a towel around me. Bother getting redressed. Nah. Snape shouldn't be back anyway – that mess will take Malfoy ages to clean up. Heh. Serves the idiot right. Trying to chat me up…

The carpet is soft beneath my feet as I cross the living room floor and into my room. Distractedly I notice the nail polish on my toes is chipped. Hrmm… I'll repaint those later. Perhaps a nice dark green this time?

I wrap my hand around the shampoo bottle. I hope this works, or else I'll be attending dinner with pink hair. I start to make my way back to the bathroom.

Stunned. Shocked. Slightly intrigued.

Harry Potter wondering around the living room wearing only a towel, clutching at a shampoo bottle and muttering about dark green nail polish.

And I'm meant to think this is the saviour of the wizarding world?

"Umm… Mr. Pot - … Harry, what are you doing?" Gah – I have to keep on reminding myself to call him Harry in private. It's bloody annoying.

The boy blinked, and turned in my direction. He's stunned. Obviously he didn't think that I would be back this early. Especially considering the amount of mess that pink goo made!

Shit!

I'm in front of Snape. Wearing only a towel.

"Well actually, Severus," I purr out his name. I love being able to call him Severus and not get hexed to Whoop Whoop for it. "I was just fetching some stronger shampoo than my usual sort. This pink stuff doesn't want to come out of my hair."

I watch as Severus smirks. "Is your normal shampoo a wizarding kind?"

Eh? Why on earth would that matter?

"Actually, it is. Why? Margaret said Wizarding shampoo works" not to mention smells better, "than the muggle type."

Once again that bloody smirk. Can't he just tell me already? "Because, Harry," this time he purred my name. Damn that man can switch the tables quickly. "The pink goo is resistant to magic, as Mr. Malfoy is finding out at this moment."

Right. Well that make sense I suppose. But how am I supposed to get this goo out of my hair.

"I can't appear in public with pink goo in my hair though."

Should I be shocked by myself about saying this to Snape. Yes. But I'm not. It's seems sort of natural to be doing so.

I shake my head and accio for the special shampoo I keep for emergencies such as these. I toss it to Potter, who awkwardly grabs it from the air. "That should fix up the problem for you."

Having caught Snape's shampoo I quickly dart back into the bathroom.

How strange. Snape seemed to be pleased to help me.

Mustn't want to be embarrassed by a bad looking Jamari Paton.

Still… Snape's been sending me all these strange looks recently. Or maybe I'm delusional. Can I blame the high heels?

Note: Just for the record, I don't like using these horizontal rules, but it seems ff.net doesn't like my stars at the moment. I'll look into trying to fix it.