Chapter Five
The hallway outside of Loren Bray's room was empty, but his room was full of concerned visitors. Sully was standing on one side of the bed, Michaela was checking on her patient, and Abagail was sitting at his bedside and holding his hand. Michaela had been a miracle worker out there on the street. She had stopped the bleeding and sewn Loren up well enough to get him transported to the hospital with no further complications.
Loren was still unconscious, and Michaela hoped he would wake within the next hour. The color had come back to his face, but he was still motionless in the bed. He had been lucky. That bullet had just barely missed his lung. He could have been in much worse shape.
"I just don't understand it," Abagail whispered. "Why would somebody wanna shoot my pa? He didn't do anything to hurt nobody." Michaela looked at the young girl. It was obvious by the way that she spoke that this girl wasn't from Boston. Her hair was dark and a little coarse, while her skin was blemished from the sun. She certainly didn't talk like a proper Boston lady. Dust stains were on her skirt tails, and Michaela realized that this girl was probably from out west.
"Hopefully this will all be settled soon." Sully nodded.
"I hope so," Abagail whispered.
"Where are you and your father from, Miss Bray?"
"Call me Abagail. That's what most folks call me, anyway," Abagail said, rubbing her tear-stained eyes. "We're from the Colorado Territory. Colorado Springs, actually." Michaela noticed Sully glance at her. Talking about the west certainly sparked his interest. Michaela couldn't help but wonder if Sully would want to take the train out of Boston with the Brays once Mr. Bray was healed.
"What brought ya all the way out here?" Sully asked quietly.
"My pa needed money," she whispered. "He owns a general store back in Colorado Springs, and business wasn't doin' so good. He's got a rich brother named Glenn 'round here, and he thought he'd come see him personally 'fore he asked him for the money."
"Have you seen your uncle yet?" Michaela wondered. Abagail nodded.
"We were just on our way back to the train station," she replied before breaking down into tears again. Michaela swallowed the lump in her throat. She wouldn't know what to do if that had been her father lying there. She looked up, catching Sully's gaze. He nodded toward the door, and she knew he wanted to speak with her in private.
"Excuse me," Michaela whispered. Abagail nodded, and Michaela followed Sully into the hallway. "Sully?"
"I'm gonna go lookin' for the man who did this."
"Sully, no. You said yourself that he's long gone."
"I wanna find out why he just shot an innocent man."
"Did you get a good look at him?"
"I think so. Even if I don't find him, I'm gonna find out why he shot Mr. Bray." Michaela nodded.
"Alright. Sully, be careful." He nodded and walked away. Michaela sighed heavily and closed her eyes, leaning against the wall for a moment. It was going to be a long day. She finally returned to Mr. Bray's room, and she checked his vitals once more.
"How is he?" Abagail asked.
"He'll be just fine," Michaela assured her. "Just let him be, and if he wakes soon, you should both be able to travel in about a week. He'll need to take it easy though. He's older and his body takes longer to heal."
"Thank you for everything ya did to help him, Dr. Quinn," Abagail said quietly. She looked up at Michaela. "I never heard of a lady doctor before. Nobody where I come from has."
"Not many people around here have either. There are women graduating from medical school now, however, but starting your own practice isn't easy. I don't have my own yet."
"You don't?"
"I work with my father."
"Oh," Abagail said quietly. "I work with my pa too. I help him at the store. I've been helpin' him ever since my ma died." Michaela felt horrible for this young woman. She'd lost a mother, and she had come so close to losing a father. Abagail felt tired, and she rested her chin in her hand.
"I should go," Michaela said quietly. "I'll be nearby if he starts to wake."
"Thank you, Dr. Quinn. For everything." Michaela smiled and nodded her head. She started out into the hallway and let out an exhausted sigh. She rested her eyes for a moment, and when she opened them, something caught her eye. A bouquet of flowers was sitting on a bench against the other wall. Had they been there when she'd been in the hall with Sully? Surely he couldn't have left them. Perhaps they were for Mr. Bray.
Michaela moved toward the bench and took the bouquet into her hands. She looked at the card, and it simply said: For Michaela. She held them to her nose, her heart believing that Sully had somehow left them. These were her some of her favorite flowers in all different colors. How did Sully know?
"I remember they're your favorite," came a deep voice from behind. Michaela froze. She felt her blood run cold as ice as she slowly turned around. There he was, the same as he had been five years before when she'd seen him last. The only difference was a patch over his left eye.
"David," she whispered, her breath leaving her for a moment. Her blood still ran so cold that she began to tremble. David moved toward her, his large frame casting a shadow on her face.
"Michaela," he said with a smile. "It's been so long." He gathered her into his arms, and she was motionless. She hugged him back a little, but she began to tremble more when his embrace tightened. "It's been too long."
"Five years," Michaela commented. She pulled out of David's arms. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to get my job back." Michaela swallowed hard. David had been an excellent surgeon at this hospital. He'd been a brilliant physician who had worked side by side with Josef Quinn from the time he graduated from medical school.
"I see," Michaela replied. She looked down at the flowers, not sure of whether to keep them, to throw them in his face or to stomp on them. "Where were you?" She felt like she at least deserved an explanation after he broke off their courtship and left in the middle of the night without so much as a note. David shifted in his spot.
"I went to California," he replied quietly. He took her by the hand, but she pulled away from him. "You're still angry with me?"
"Would it matter if I was? My feelings never seemed to matter before."
"I deserve that. I know I do, Michaela. I did some soul searching while I was gone." Curiosity got the better of Michaela, however, and as a doctor she needed to ask about his patch.
"What happened to your eye?"
"I was in a carriage accident. I nearly lost my eye, but they managed to save it. I'm not completely blind in that eye, but it's very sensitive to light." Michaela nodded. That was a good enough explanation, though she wouldn't have been surprised if he'd broken some poor girl's heart and she'd slugged him a good one in the eye.
"You said you did some soul searching?" she asked, putting the flowers back down where she found them.
"Yes. Oh, Michaela, if I could take back what happened between us, I'd do it in a heartbeat. What I did, well, I regret it now."
"Five years is a little late, David," Michaela replied. "What you did was something I'm not sure I can ever get past."
"I know, but does it matter now that I've changed my mind?" Michaela looked away.
"David, you hurt me. You hurt me when you tried to force me to choose between being with you and continuing medical school. Not even mother was so strongly against me going!" David nodded.
"I'm sorry. I was a fool, Michaela. I don't know how else to explain it. I was having a very stressful time with working at the hospital and trying to be there for you when I promised to be. Oh, Michaela. I was afraid."
"Afraid?"
"I was afraid of losing you," he whispered. "That's why I lashed out and told you to choose. I really thought I was going to lose you and that you'd meet someone else. I know nobody could love you as much as I did and still do, but I couldn't help but be afraid."
"Oh David," Michaela whispered, the memories of her courtship with him rushing back to her. David took her hands in his.
"I just want a chance to make things right. I didn't honor you the way I should have. To tell you the truth, I was going to ask for your hand had you left medical school. I've heard that you're a fine doctor now. Wouldn't it be brilliant? The two of us working side by side?" Michaela pulled her hands away from David's.
"Please, don't do this." Her brain was screening. What was he doing? Was he trying to make her fall in love with him again? Was 'again' even the right word? Had she ever truly loved him? Medicine had been her life. She truly hadn't been there for David as much as she should have been, but he had been busy too. They had been more friends than anything, and when he had demanded that she quit medical school if she wanted to continue with their courtship, that had been the last straw. She had declined his demand, and he'd left without a word. This was the first time she'd seen him since, and the smoke from their heated argument seemed to still linger in the air and made Michaela fight for breath.
"Please, Michaela. Give me another chance. I'll make you happy. I swear it!" He sounded desperate! "Oh God, Michaela. Life without you has been the worst kind of agony. Don't make me go through it again. Please, let me back into your life. Don't shut me out. I'm so sorry." Michaela had tears in her eyes. This man was desperate enough to want to be in her life that he was on the verge of a breakdown. She knew he'd changed, but she wasn't quite certain it was in a good way.
"David, I can't go through that again. I don't love you. I'm not quite sure I ever did." She watched as his heart broke into a million tiny pieces. "I loved you as a friend, David. I thought we were the best of friends. But when you forced me to . . . to choose, it changed everything good I saw in you." Michaela started to move away from him, but he reached for her hand. "David, please don't do this."
"If you can't love me the way I love you, I can learn to live with that. But, I can't take not having you in my life at all. Please, Michaela. Give me the chance to prove to you that I've changed. Just give me that much." Michaela brushed the tears out of her eyes.
"If you get your position back, David, we'll be co-workers. We'll be working together, but I can't promise anything more. Perhaps someday, we'll be friends again."
"Thank you," David whispered. "You won't regret this."
Sully returned to the hospital that evening with Josef. Michaela was sitting out in the hall, writing something in Loren's chart.
"Mike!" Josef called out to her. Michaela stood and hurried over to her father. He hugged her tightly. "Thank God you're alright. I was so frightened you may have been hurt today." Michaela smiled and glanced at Sully as she hugged Josef.
"Don't worry. Sully has excellent reflexes."
"Well, not to worry. That man's been arrested." Michaela pulled away.
"He has?"
"Yep," Sully spoke up. I found out he'd robbed a bank not five minutes before he shot Mr. Bray. He was shootin', 'cause he saw the marshal comin' after him. Mr. Bray just got caught in the crossfire." Michaela shook her head.
"That's too bad, but at least the man's going to go to jail." Josef looked over his daughter's shoulder and he suddenly tensed.
"What's he doing here?" There was an angry tone in Josef's voice. Michaela turned to see David talking with Abagail about her father's condition. Michaela's superiors had asked for him to work with Michaela on the case.
"He's back," she said quietly. She glanced at Sully, and when he silently questioned her, she looked away.
"I never thought I'd see him again."
"Neither did I, but he's working here now, father."
"That's not possible."
"It is. Dr. Jefferson gave him the job, and now he's working with me on this case." Josef shook his head.
"How could they hire him back?"
"He is a good doctor, father."
"Mike? How could you defend that . . . that . . ."
"Father, I'm not defending him," Michaela exclaimed in a hushed voice. "I'm not happy that he's back, but there isn't anything I can do about it."
"I'll do something about it," Josef replied angrily. "I can remove him just as quickly as Dr. Jefferson hired him!"
"Father, no. Not now." Josef searched his daughter's eyes.
"Mike, you know I trust your judgment, but I won't have him working here. Not after what he did to you." This sparked Sully's curiosity. He knew he should stay out of it, but when he heard that someone hurt Michaela, he had to know. He wanted to fix it.
"Father, please. Go home, and we'll talk about this in the morning."
"We'll talk about it now, Mike." Sully cleared his throat and silently excused himself. He decided to go outside for some fresh air. Michaela looked at her father as he crossed his arms firmly across his chest. "David Lewis broke your heart." Did he? She wasn't quite sure she'd ever truly given him her heart. Perhaps she'd wanted him to break her heart, deep down inside, so that she could be free of him. "He wanted you to give up your dream, Mike. How could you let him back into your life?"
"I didn't have a choice, father!" Michaela exclaimed with exasperation.
"I do," he replied. He started to walk away, but Michaela put her hand on his arm.
"He claims he's changed."
"You don't actually believe that, do you?"
"I believe that people should be given second chances if they truly believe they've changed. Father, I'd appreciate it if we let this be. I don't want to cause any trouble."
"This isn't your fault."
"I don't want you to cause trouble for yourself. Father, everything will be alright. You'll see." Michaela kissed him upon the cheek. "Now go home and stop worrying. We have a busy day tomorrow." Josef looked sternly at his youngest daughter.
"If he does or says anything to hurt you, I want you to tell me." Michaela only nodded.
"Go on," she urged him. He cast one last angry look toward David's direction and left the hospital. Michaela breathed a heavy sigh and leaned against the wall. She only wanted this nightmare evening to be over.
"Ya look like ya could use a friend," came Sully's voice a few minutes later. Michaela smiled and opened her eyes. "Let's go for a walk." Michaela nodded, looped her arm through Sully's, and they started down the hall. They walked the halls around and around in silence, and Sully knew that Michaela was worrying. "I know it ain't my place to pry, but I gotta know what your pa meant. He said that doctor hurt ya. Did he lay a hand on you?"
"No, no," Michaela said quietly. "David was never physically violent in all of the years that I knew him. He was kind and patient. We courted for a few years. We were together when I was in college, and we were together when I started medical school. David was sweet and for a while, he said he couldn't wait until I was a doctor so we could practice medicine together. I was happy, because I felt that I'd found someone who accepted me for the decisions I made."
"But ya didn't," he said quietly, knowing that's where her story was going.
"On my first visit home from medical school, David seemed different. He seemed desperate to keep me in Boston. He was afraid of losing me, and he promised me that he would give me everything if I would stay in Boston. He said I would never have to worry about money, and I would never have to work a day in my life."
"That sure don't sound like somethin' you'd want." She shook her head.
"I had wanted to be a doctor for years, and I'd already had my heart set on it before David and I were courting. My mother tried to convince me to stay and settle down like normal young women. My father was very happy that I was courting David, whom he had worked with at the hospital. But, when David began to talk about wanting me to quit medical school, my father sat him down and told him that nobody forced me to do anything. David grew increasingly more upset until one night, he told me that I had to choose. If I chose him, he'd take care of me for the rest of my life. If I chose medical school, it was over."
"And ya obviously chose medical school." Michaela nodded.
"I thought the decision would be more difficult than it was. I cared for David."
"Did ya love him?" Michaela tensed at his arm.
"I think I did…I thought I did. I'm not sure. I grew up being told that a good match was more important than love," she explained. "I wanted to love David. I wanted a fairytale romance, but that wasn't what it was. We barely saw one another as it was. We just weren't meant to be together. I knew that when I made my choice. David left that night, and I never saw him again…until today."
"And he wants ya back."
"Yes," Michaela whispered.
"Well, what do you want?" Sully wondered, feeling his chest tightening with fear that he'd lose her before he got her.
"I don't know what I want," she breathed, shaking her head. "I want to believe that David's changed. But I can't forget about how cold and angry he was that night. I had never seen him act that way before. It frightened me, Sully." She stopped and turned to him, looking him right in the eyes. "Do you believe a man can change?"
"Not if they don't want to," he replied.
"David seemed genuinely concerned that I believe he'd changed. Perhaps he did want to change. Perhaps he has. He even told me that he'd rather be my friend and nothing more than not have me in his life at all." Sully searched her eyes. He knew she was at a loss. He didn't trust David, but he couldn't make up Michaela's mind for her.
"Ya gotta ask yourself what your heart wants."
"Oh, Sully, I don't know what I want anymore." She swallowed hard. It was true. Her heart wanted him…Sully… with every beat and every moment. Her spirit needed his companionship more than anything. David wasn't supposed to fit into the equation at all. Lingering feelings didn't exist, but she longed for a part of her past that was such a distant memory. She missed her friendship with David. "Before David and I courted, we were friends. I was making diagnoses before I was in medical school, and he would share information about the medical world. He, father and I had long lunches and discussed so many things. I learned a lot from him, but when we began to court, I don't think my heart ever switched from thinking of David as a friend. I was nervous when he leaned in to kiss me goodnight. I was nervous when he told me he loved me. I don't think I ever truly told him I loved him back."
"Does he know that?"
"I think he wants to believe I loved him as much as he loved me." She shook her head as they continued on down the hallway, rounding back toward Loren Bray's room. "I made a decision, and I don't regret it for one moment. Medicine has been my life for so long that I can't imagine not wanting to do this."
"Ya save lives everyday. I'd say that if that's what ya want to do, you should do it. I saw ya out there on that street today. Ya saved Loren's life. Had it been another doctor, ya never know what coulda happened."
"Life starts to slip through my fingers every day. The best I can do is hold on and try not to let it fall. That's what I did for Mr. Bray. He nearly died out there."
"But ya held on, and a lot of people are gonna be thankful for that. You're a good doctor, Michaela. Don't let anybody tell ya different. Don't let anybody try to make ya give up your dreams." Michaela stopped again and looked into his eyes. He wanted to hold her in his arms…hold her tight. He wanted to embrace her and feel her heart against his. He wanted to kiss her. Now. He wanted to let her know he had all of the faith in the world in her. He believed in her.
"Thank you, Sully," she whispered softly, brushing a tear from her eyes. She swallowed hard. "I know what I want."
"Ya do?" he asked, stepping closer. She nodded softly.
"I want to try to be David's friend again. I want to have the friendship we had a long time ago. I don't know if it's possible, but I can at least try. I don't love him, Sully. Not anymore…if I even did before. I can heal in the present, but the past is another story. I want to know that some things I don't have any control over can be fixed. I need to know that he'd changed." Sully breathed heavily.
"Then ya gotta do what ya need to." Michaela nodded. Sully noticed her trembling, and he pulled her into a hug.
"It's gonna be alright, Michaela. If ya ever need to talk, I'm here for ya." Michaela nodded and pulled her arms around him, burying her face in his chest. It felt so nice to be in his arms. It was a place she felt protected and strong. It was a place where everything was right with the world.
Abagail had fallen asleep in a cot in her father's hospital room. Michaela was preparing to go home, but she was finishing up with Loren's chart. David was looking over the chart with her, and Sully was sitting in the hallway, peering through the glass in the door, hoping Michaela would be ready soon. The hospital made him nervous. A hospital was the last place he'd seen his parents lying lifeless and blue in a cold, dark room in the basement.
His heart pounded, and he swallowed hard. He was sweating. He needed air. He stood up, and Michaela looked up from the sudden movement in the hall. He motioned toward the doors, and she nodded, knowing he was stepping out for a moment. She went back to looking at her chart, and Sully moved out into the snowy Boston night. He looked up at the moon. It was partially hidden by the heavy snow clouds. Billions of stars were hidden behind the snowfall, and he remembered back to when he was a small child, strolling home with his parents. He had asked them what snow was, and his under-educated mother looked at his father.
"John? Why don't you explain it to the boy?" Kate asked with a smile. John scooped his young son up into his arms.
"Well, Byron," he said in a thick English accent. "I'll tell ya what snow is." John Sully hadn't been an educated man either, but he was a dreamer and always making up stories. "Do ya see the stars, boy?"
"No, Papa," Byron said, shaking his head and staring up at the sky with wide eyes, flinching every time a snowflake fell into his lashes.
"It's no wonder, Byron! These tiny snowflakes are pieces of the stars. The angels send them down to earth to shower the little boys and girls."
"Is that why boys and girls are so happy when it snows?" John smiled with a twinkle in his eye and looked lovingly at Kate.
"Yes, Byron," Kate said softly. "There are so many stars in the night sky, and each of them get broken into millions of pieces."
"That's why there's so much snow!" Byron said happily. John Sully chuckled and hugged his young son.
"Yes, boy. That's why. Someday, you'll have children of your own, and when they ask you where snow comes from…"
"I'll tell 'em the angels sent it." Kate and John Sully joined hands and continued walking home with their young, wonder-filled son in their arms.
Sully pulled his coat tight and stared out into the dark night. He looked up again, flinching as the snowflakes fell into his lashes. For a moment, he was taken back to his childhood, making snowmen out of the angels' stardust with his father. Winter would never be the same without his parents, but he would never forget growing up with his father's stories. He only hoped that one day he would have children to pass those stories along to. Someday…someday.
Meanwhile, Michaela was down the hall putting Loren's chart away. David had followed her and was holding her coat out to her.
"I'll walk you home."
"That won't be necessary, David," Michaela said, slipping her arms into the coat and doing up the buttons. "Sully's waiting for me."
"Do you care for him?"
"What kind of question is that!" Michaela asked, obviously shocked. It was so out of the blue for David to ask such a thing, and entirely uncalled for. He had no right to ask her that question after being away for such a long time under rough circumstances.
"I'm sorry," David said, backing off. "I suppose I'm a bit jealous." Michaela decided not to step into that question.
"I've been thinking, David," Michaela began. "Earlier I said I wasn't sure if we could be friends again…"
"Yes," David said sadly.
"I think I would like to try. I miss the friendship we used to have, David…before everything…before we were courting."
"I miss it too," he said, stepping closer. She took a step back and moved out into the hall.
"We can try this, David. I'm hopeful that we can be friends again. I need to hold onto that part of my past. Our friendship was important to me."
"Nothing would make me happier." Except for being with her, of course.
"I'll see you tomorrow then," Michaela said quietly, moving toward the exit. David nodded.
"Tomorrow," he replied with a nod. "Good night, Michaela." Michaela nodded, still feeling uneasy, but her heart was full of hope of getting that friendship back. She only hoped David wouldn't get the wrong impression.
When Michaela arrived outside, Sully was standing on the steps waiting for her. He smiled when he saw her come out of the building.
"Ready?" he wondered. She nodded and linked her arm with his. Walking with him was such a peaceful thing, and she was grateful for the quiet. Sully knew it had been a rough day for her, so he decided not to press her with further questions about David. She didn't look upset, so he decided that things were going to be alright, though part of him hoped that whatever old feelings Michaela may have had for David wouldn't begin to stir again.