When I picked up David at the bus stop that first night, I honestly wasn't thinking of anything more than helping out an old friend of the family. And when I invited him inside the house, I really only wanted for everybody to say hello after being out of touch for so long.

I knew Sam wasn't going to be there, but I hoped it would do Lizzie some good to see her old pal "Gordo." She was a little bit off- track these days, and Gordo had always been able to help her see straight.

Did he still have that magic? A mother can always hope, can't she?

"Hey, kids!" I called, coming in the front door. "Look who I found standing on the side of the road like a lost little puppy dog!"

Matt came out of the living room, a big smile on his face when he recognized David. "Dude!" he said. "Whazzup?"

David laughed. "Look at you, Matt. What the heck is going on with that hair?"

Matt touched the top of his Mohawk, which by the way, was currently deep blue. "It's the new me," he announced. "My dad says I look like a punk. Ya think?"

"You are a punk," David said, still laughing. "You always were. Now you look the part. For real."

"Hey, man! Circuit City! Can you hook me up with a sweet deal on a new computer?"

"It's what I do," David said.

"For people who can afford to pay for it," I added. "Which you cannot, Matt."

"Aw, Mom---!"

"No, we're not having this discussion again right now," I said, going into the kitchen. "You want some pistachio mint?"

"Can't, Mom. Gotta run. Lanny and Chubbs are waiting for me."

"Matt! It's ten thirty at night!"

"And it's summer, and there's no school tomorrow, and I'm going to be right around the corner," Matt said. "You have Lanny's home phone number if you need me." To David he said, " See you later, dude! It's been real."

Matt ran out of the house. Now that he was in high school, he was always running off somewhere. So was Lizzie.

"I wonder where Lizzie is…" I said, bringing out some bowls for the ice cream.

I glanced up and noticed David still standing in the foyer, looking awfully uncomfortable. He turned away as soon as I caught his eye, so I wouldn't see him blushing.

But I had seen him blushing, and I knew why. I had caught him looking at my boobs again. How could he not look? They were spectacular. I knew that. I didn't have them done so people wouldn't look at them. Actually, I'd had them done so Sam would look at them, and want to touch them and play with them, but he wasn't taking the bait much these days, so I guess the consolation prize of my daughter's old friend sneaking a guilty glance was better than nothing.

I smiled. Now that David was older, he was reminding me so much of Sam when we had first started dating in high school. Smart, but a little bit shy. And oh so cute. It was okay for me to notice that, wasn't it? I mean, after all, I may be older than I'd ever been before, but I was still female, right? And he had grown up very nicely indeed.

"Come sit down, Gordo," I said.

"You know," he said uneasily. "I'm thinking maybe I should just---"

"What the---?" Here was Lizzie, galloping down the stairs, stopping short at the bottom, as she repeated "What the---Gordo? What are you doing here?"

From the kitchen I watched the awkward exchange.

"Hi, Lizzie. Your mom gave me a ride. I was just going."

"Going where?"

"Home."

"Well then…" Lizzie said, stepping back to open the door for him.

"Lizzie!" I scolded. Honestly. Had I raised my kids to be so rude?

"It's okay, Mrs. McGuire," David said. "I've had a long day. I appreciate the lift. Thanks a lot. Well, see you again sometime. Bye."

"Bye!" Lizzie sang, holding the door open. As David walked through, I saw him give my boobs one more quick involuntary glance, then he grinned sheepishly, and was gone.

"Lizzie!" I exclaimed. "What in the world was all that about?"

She came into the kitchen. "He had to leave. What's the problem?"

Spooning ice cream into a bowl, I looked at her, determined not to get drawn into an argument with my daughter yet again. "Would you like some ice cream?" I asked politely.

"Can't. Josh will be here any minute. Besides, I can't stand pistachio mint. You know that. That's Dad's favorite. Why do you keep buying all his favorite stuff when he's never even here?"

"When he is here, all his favorite stuff will be here, waiting for him."

"Wake up, Mom. Dad has checked out. Well, physically, he's still here. Sometimes. But mentally, emotionally…."

"Lizzie!" I snapped.

Outside, a car horn blared incessantly.

"That's Josh!" Lizzie cried. "Gotta go!"

As Lizzie ran out, she slammed the door behind her. I was left alone in the big, empty house with one bowl of ice cream where there should have been four.

-

That's the way it had been lately. I didn't mind so much about the kids. I understood they had to grow up and strike out on their own a little more. They were both doing well in school, and weren't on drugs or anything like that (as far as I knew), so aside from a rebellious hairstyle and maybe a few friends I didn't like quite as much as some of the friends they had had in the past, I wasn't too worried about them. A little sad, maybe, but not really worried.

The one I was worried about was Sam. I was losing him, and nothing I did seemed to make any difference. Making matters worse, there was nobody I could talk to about what was bothering me the most. Nobody…that is, until three days later, when I once again found myself at Baskin Robbins, picking up more ice cream to relieve the tediousness of the hot summer night. Once again, it was about ten p.m. as I was driving through the plaza, passing Circuit City right in the middle.

This time I caught David before he made it to the bus stop out by the road. He was coming out of the store, head down, looking at something in his hands. I slowed the car, rolled down the window and gave a short beep. He looked up suddenly.

"Hey, Handsome!" I called. "Need a lift?"

I don't know why I was being so flirtatious with him. It was all innocent, anyway. Surely he knew that. I saw him smile and run to the car. He got in.

"Thanks!" he said. "Perfect timing. It looks like it might rain. I really appreciate this, Mrs. McGuire."

"No problem, Gordo. I was just up here for more ice cream. We've really become ice cream junkies in our house lately." That was partially true. I had become an ice cream junkie. Sam, Lizzie and Matt joined me in my obsession only occasionally. Good thing I wasn't the type of woman who put on weight easily, or I would be having a problem about now. As it was, I still looked good and I knew it. In fact, with my new surgical improvements, I looked better than good. Maybe that was why I was flirting with David. Because I knew I could.

Or maybe it was my way at getting back at Sam.

As we traveled the road home, we talked about ice cream (I found out David's favorite flavor was Cherry Vanilla) and he explained that he had been looking at his paystub. It was Friday evening of payday, so I said, "Well then, now is the time to cash that baby and go out and have some fun!"

He laughed. "Oh no, not me! All of this is going straight in the bank. I'm serious about that car." He began to tell me all about the kind of car he was hoping to buy, and I could tell that he was very excited about it, but frankly, cars never excited me much. Still, it was nice to hear him rattling on so enthusiastically. This talk led to his expectations about college life, and his dreams for the future. He still wanted to get into film production. I thought it was so nice that he had something he felt so passionately about. Lizzie had no direction whatsoever.

The ride seemed to go even faster than last time. Before I knew it, we were sitting in the driveway at home. I turned off the car and said, "Gordo, do you have a girlfriend at the moment?"

There was an awkward pause. The question had been kind of abrupt, and I'm sure it threw him off balance.

"Well…no," he said. "Not at the moment. I did a few months ago, but we broke up. And I don't want to start up anything new, being that I'm going to be leaving in a few weeks."

It suddenly occurred to me that he must be wondering why I asked. He was giving me the strangest look. I laughed a little and explained, "I'm just thinking that I wish you would date Lizzie again. You were so good for her. I really don't care for that Josh too much."

There was another pause, even more awkward than before. Finally David said, "Neither do I."

Now my "mom-alert" was at full capapcity. "Why?" I asked. "Do you know something about him?"

"Nothing bad," David said instantly, calming my fears. "It's just that he's kind of…superficial. He's kind of…"

His voice faded, and I supplied, "Kind of a jerk?"

I saw him shrug. "You said it, not me."

I thought it was so sweet how he didn't want to say anything bad about Lizzie's boyfriend. But I had no problem speaking my mind.

"He is kind of a jerk," I repeated. "And I'm afraid he's a bad influence on Lizzie. She's become somewhat superficial herself, ever since she started going out with him. Well, I mean, even more superficial. She's always had a tendency to be all about boys and clothes and popularity. At least when you were around, you seemed to be somewhat of a sobering influence in her life."

David laughed. "'Sobering influence.' Yeah, that's me. I do tend to have that effect on people."

"No, no! That's a good thing!" I insisted. "You're so smart, and so reasonable, and I remember Lizzie telling me many times that if she ever had a problem, she knew she could bring it to you and you would figure it out for her. She didn't always like what you said, but in the end she knew you would always come up with the best solution. She really needs someone like that in her life right now."

Hell! I needed someone like that in my life right now!

David shifted uncomfortably in the front seat. "Mrs. McGuire," he said, lifting up the bag at his feet. "The ice cream…"

"It will keep," I said absently. "I just wanted to let you know, Gordo, that of all the boyfriends Lizzie has had, you were the best. You were always my favorite. I wish somehow you two could…well, at least be more friendly than what I saw the other night. I never really found out what happened between the two of you, why you broke up. Lizzie never wanted to talk about it. All she would say was that you were a 'lying son of a bitch.'"

David laughed cynically. "She would see it that way."

"She would never tell me," I ventured carefully. "But maybe someday you will…?"

"Maybe someday," he said. "But right now, you've got this ice cream…"

"You'll come in and have some, won't you?" I asked. "It's not Cherry Vanilla, but it is Strawberry Cheesecake. Close enough?"

"Whose favorite flavor is that?"

"Mine," I said. Sam was on a business trip. The hell with his favorite flavor!

"I…I…really shouldn't," David stuttered. "I have to work first thing in the morning, the nine to six shift tomorrow. I really need a good night's sleep."

"Well, then, I'll let you go," I finally said. "But I just want to make sure you're hearing what I'm saying about Lizzie. I want to make sure you know how much I appreciate what a good friend you've been to her through the years."

"I know, Mrs. McGuire."

"You were so always such a decent kid. So full of ethics. So moral. Such a good influence on Lizzie." I could tell I was making him even more uncomfortable, but I felt compelled to continue. "Whenever she was with you, I never worried about her. With this new boy, Josh, sometimes I worry. I worry, even, that maybe she's sleeping with him. With you and Lizzie I never worried about that."

There was absolutely no reaction from the other side of the car. I couldn't tell what button I had pushed, if any, or what he was thinking. His sudden silence disturbed me, and before I could stop myself I was asking, "You never did…sleep together…did you?"

David sighed. "No, Mrs. McGuire, we never did. And that's the truth."

I tried not to let him hear my sigh of relief, covering it instantly with, "But with this Josh, sometimes I wonder…"

I knew that by this point he wanted nothing more than to bolt home, but I took advantage of his politeness to ask one more really embarrassing question.

"You don't know anything, do you, Gordo?"

"Anything about what?"

"About Lizzie and Josh. About whether or not they're sleeping together?"

"How would I know that?" he burst out. "You can see we barely talk to each other."

"I thought you may have heard something…you know…in school…"

"Mrs. McGuire," he said firmly. "Even if I had heard something in school, even if I did know something about Lizzie, I wouldn't rat her out to her mother. That's just not right."

I sighed. "You're right, Gordo. I'm sorry. What was I thinking?"

"You're just thinking about Lizzie and what's best for her," he said. "I understand completely. You're just being a good mom. There's nothing wrong with that."

A good mom. Well…sometimes. Sometimes, lately, though, not so much. There were things I could tell this understanding young man about how I had failed Lizzie…and Matt…to say nothing of Sam…and as I looked at him, sitting across from me in the dark front seat of the car, I suddenly knew that I could tell him… I could tell him anything, and he would listen and understand and never go blabbing it to anyone. I could trust him. And I wanted to trust him, because I hadn't really had anyone I could trust in my life for such a long time. And I really needed to tell someone what was going on, or I was going to go crazy.

"Mrs. McGuire," he said quietly. "The ice cream…"

I sighed and smiled at him. "Okay. And you have to get home."

So I let him go home. And I brought the ice cream in the house. And I put it in the freezer, but I didn't have any that night. I didn't need any that night.

Strangely, what I felt I most needed that night, like David, was a good night's sleep. Not because I needed a fresh start early in the morning for a full day's work, but because I sensed that somehow I was finally going to be able to take the desperately needed first steps for a fresh start on the rest of my life.